


Second Chances

by firegrilled



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mirror Universe, Rebuilding a lost relationship, Typical canon angst, canon spoilers, more relationships to come later - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2018-10-13 06:49:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 119,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10508514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firegrilled/pseuds/firegrilled
Summary: Many regrets haunted Jean during his time at the Survey Corps. Between the countless split-second life and death decisions only one truly tugged his conscience repeated: the loss of Marco in Trost. He often wondered what would've changed if his friend had lasted the battle, but he never expected to see that thought play out with a minor caveat...AKA Jean Kirschtein is thrust into a world where most of the events he's familiar with played out except one key fact, Marco didn't die in Trost. He did.





	1. Brave New World

“Quick, after him!” A thickly-accented man shouted to a nearby squadron of soldiers, spurring them to chase after the poor soul that dared to try and sneak attack their encampment.

Rather than wait for them to catch him, Jean grabbed a backpack from one of the nearby bodies and sprinted to his nearby horse. Swinging the heavy bag over his shoulder, he practically vaulted himself onto his reliable steed.

“Hyah!” Jean shouted.

Just as quick as this mission of Jean’s went south, his horse sped off. Jean dared to look back, his one last courtesy to the soldiers who bravely followed him on this suicidal mission. A surge of guilt washed over his body as he noticed some movement from pile of bodies that was once his squad.

None of the soldiers preparing to pursue Jean paid any attention to the trembling hand that reached into one of the discarded backpacks.

“No, don’t do it, Isaac!” Jean shouted back to deaf ears.

A few soldiers had just mounted their horses when half-dead soldier pulled out a Thunder Spear. The weapon was designed to pierce the Armored Titan’s hide and had proven its worth in the battle to retake Shinganshina and now had been repurposed to hopefully break the thick armoring around the tanks that now threatened the people within the walls.

Rather than aiming the deadly explosive at the tanks like their original mission, Isaac weakly pointed it at another discarded bag.

By the time a solider caught wind of the action it was too late.

“Sir, watch-!” The failed warning was drowned out by the flames of the unexpected explosion.

Jean bit into his lower lip, until he could taste the iron of his blood. Another squad of Humanity’s bravest and youngest gone.

While the distraction proved enough to surprise the soldiers attempting to pursue him, the price was too high for Jean. That was another several families he’d have to confront and explain how their children died for sake of humanity. Or at least that’s the script he recited to countless grieving families during this war. It;d been repeated it enough times that Jean could, and probably has, muttered it in his sleep.

“Thank you, all of you,” Jean thanked the empty space around him, trying to soothe his guilty conscience.

He barely made it over the hill and into the cursed woods before more Marley soldiers caught a glimpse of him. He made eye contact with one of those wretched souls before he saw frantic hand movements gesturing in his direction. A cursory glance backwards drained the blood from his face. A tank, one of those machines his squad was sent to wipe out, creaked over the soft earth of the island and passed by this soldier. The panicked soldier pointed to Jean and that’s when he spurred his horse once again into the foggy woods.

While this was the last place he wanted to be, it was either risk death or whatever fanciful mishaps would supposedly befall Jean from entering this place. The tales surrounding the farthest woods from walls did little to pique Jean’s interest with their wild and colorful explanations of events happening to soldiers but Jean couldn’t contest one fact. Those that wandered into the woods sometimes never returned and no trace of them had been found.

While it was never smart to press his luck, Jean had done it time and time again and the odds were never in his favor.

A loud whistling cut through the sky, and grew steadily louder. Jean tensed as he braced to be blown into oblivion but the resulting explosion landed far enough away and showered him in scorched earth. The shower blinded both Jean and his horse. Both navigated as best they could but even the most well trained soldier and horse could only do so much. Another loud whistling grew louder and much closer. By the time Jean gauged where it would land, it was too late. The shell crashed behind a nearby hill, the force of the impact blowing both Jean and his horse off their feet.

“Hang on, Jaeger!” Jean shouted as he gripped his horse.

He looked over to see where he would land and cursed under his breath. He and his noble horse were next to simple pond. If it was deep enough Jean might avoid being crushed to death by his horse. A pretty shitty way to go for humanity’s third strongest soldier.

As much as the initial impact of the water felt bone-chillingly cold, it was refreshing after the burning heat of the explosions and fires of the battlefield. The cool touch of the water coupled with the adrenaline forced Jean’s body to react. He swam towards what he thought was the surface, instead he only found the muddy bottom of the pond. He immediately swam the opposite direction and emerged into the warm embrace of the fading sunlight.

His horse’s cry gave Jean little time to glance at his surroundings. He swam over and grabbed the reins, trying to guide the struggling horse to the shore. The pond had to have been a lot deeper than Jean initially thought since it took a lot longer to find the bottom of the pond. Once stable grouns had been found for his horse Jean peered around for any signs of the enemy. His senses, although heightened by adrenaline surging through his veins, found no signs of the enemy.

In fact, he heard no conflict. No gunshots, no screams, no creaking of tanks, no explosions; just nothing. Even the area smelled different. No burning flesh, no metallic gunpowder, no choking aroma of death. It smelled… like nature?

A whinny from Jaeger distracted Jean from his thoughts as he processed the lack of stimuli round him.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s rendezvous with Levi squad. Maybe he was more successful than us,” Jean muttered as he mounted his horse.

Careful to be stealthy, Jean and Jaeger trotted through near the edge of the woods. While keeping to the safety of the tree line, Jean scouted the outside and was puzzled by the lack of conflict. No signs of soldiers or a battle, let alone a war, appeared. Was he knocked out by that shell?

As Jaeger trotted along and the adrenaline began to fade, Jean felt his body began to react to the injuries he sustained. Pain swelled in left side as well as in his right arm. He tenderly moved his arm, noticing the blood dripping down his sleeve. He flexed his hand and was relieved it moved just fine. Probably just another gash. He gingerly touched his left side and winced immediately.

“Fuck, not another bruise,” Jean cursed. At least this time when Jaeger fell it didn’t injure his leg. That was a pain in the ass to recover from.

After seeing no sign of the enemy, or any one in fact, Jean dared to be bold and rode out from the forest as the sun began to set. In the fading light Jean found giants jumps of flesh curled over or imbedded in the ground. Giant eyes cracked open from these mounds, sending a nervous chill down Jean’s back. While some titans still dotted the area outside the wall, they were deemed harmless. Still, the familiar bumping of his sheathed swords comforted this fear. Even in war the Survey Corp remained equipped to fight titans in case Marley had the gall to send more titanized humans after them. It was an unpleasant necessity.

Over the hilltops the familiar sight of the walls took Jean’s fears away as he rode even faster towards Shinganshina. Despite being overcame by the titans years earlier, through massive sacrifices and the will of the entire Survey Corps, the city was recaptured from the titans and it served at the launching point for defending the walls from Marley during the war. It was rebuilt and a source of modest prosperity.

At least it should’ve been. When Jean neared the gate, his heart fell. The gate had a gigantic hole in it.

“Oh no,” Jean muttered softly as Jaeger sped towards the gate. “No, no, no!”

Instead of stopping by the gate, Jean encouraged his horse to power on through.

Jean allowed Jaeger to trot to a halt as they approached the center of town, or what should’ve been the center of town. A giant crater encompassed the center of the city. Buildings were pushed back, knocked over, and collapsed all around the crater. Congealed blood puddles, numerous long dead skeletons, and moss-covered husks of houses decorated what should’ve been a rebuilt town. Jean dismounted and walked around.

This wasn’t right.

“Did… did we lose? Overnight?” Jean could barely comprehend what was going on around him. He examined the buildings, seemingly reclaimed by nature. Braving his worst fears, Jean observed the bodies. Most appeared to be adorned with the tattered remains of civilian clothes. This just didn’t sit right. Where were the soldier’s corpses?

On top of all that, countless more titans remained scattered around the city.

With little options left, Jean jumped on Jaeger and sped north to Trost, his home town.

Adding more to the confusion was the lack of a path back to Trost.

“Where the hell is the road?”

Jaeger and Jean pushed through the dusk. Jean had ridden this path many times when preparing for the war so even in the tall and unkempt grass he knew the way. As he approached the top of a hill, his steed drew to a halt so they could observe the road ahead. Scouting the area, goosebumps crawled up Jean’s arm. More titans littered the landscape. If it weren’t for the cover of night, Jean would’ve been titan fodder. He had to get back into the walls, there was no choice in the matter.

With all the motivation he needed, he and Jaeger rode swiftly through the tall grass and passed the stone-like titans. Time flew as they weaved through the plains of the Wall Maria territory.

As soon as Wall Rose broke over the horizon, Jean’s nerves steadied. Much to his relief, the gate to Trost appeared to be sealed. It was only when he got closer that he noticed it wasn’t just closed, it was blocked by a familiar huge boulder.

“W-we fixed that…” Jean stuttered as he approached. He dismounted Jaeger and approached the rock, carefully feeling its rough texture. What in the world happened while he was gone? His mission only took an afternoon.

Jaeger whinnied loudly, snapping Jean back to reality. As much as he wanted to continue to fret over all that seemed wrong he was still in titan infested lands.

Jean clasped his hands in front of his mouth and mustered all his strength as he shouted, “Hello! Can someone let me in?”

His nerves frayed as time stood still, until a head peeked over the wall.

“Hello?” the new face called down.

“Hi, care to help me and my horse up?” Jean called back.

“Who are you?” the man called down.

“Survey Corp, I need to report to Captain Levi urgently!” Jean explained quickly.

Some hushed sounds could be heard from above. After several uneventful minutes a lift was slowly dropped over the wall. Eternally thankful for this turn of events, Jean quickly guided Jaeger onto the lift and stood next to him as they were brought into the walls.

To his surprise, standing at the top of the walls were more Garrison guards than he was used to, all staring weirdly at him.

“Survey Corp? What were you doing outside the walls? I’m unaware of any recent excursions beyond Wall Rose,” an older looking soldier informed Jean as he glanced over him.

“It was a mission assigned by Levi. I need to report back to him immediately,” Jean replied.

“Levi squad? By yourself?” The man reacted. Before he could try to interrogate Jean even more, a panicked soldier came scrambling.

“Titans, titans behind Wall Rose!” he shouted. Jean and the surrounding Garrison men immediately turned their attention towards the soldier.

“Excuse you?!” The man interrogating Jean asked.

“Titans in the west near Castle Utgard. The Survey Corps are fending them off but the battle doesn’t look good,” the solider relayed the information.

“Titans? At night? Preposterous,” the Garrison soldier spat back.

“They’re inside the walls?” Jean’s eyes widened, nostalgia sickening him to his stomach.

“Y-yes,” the trembling soldier answered Jean.

“It’s not impossible, we’ve encountered them before,” Jean explained to the Garrison soldier. “I’ve got to go help. Secure the walls and make sure there wasn’t a breach.”

“I know you’re Levi Squad but I don’t take orders from-”

“Just do it!” Jean demanded as he jumped on his horse. Without leaving the man a chance to dismiss him, Jean whipped the reins and Jaeger sped of along the walls towards the familiar battlegrounds.

Allowing his horse to take the lead, Jean attached his 3DMG handled to his blades. The journey along the top of Wall Rose gave Jean ample time to steady his nerves. It had been a while since he fought a horde of titans but he was more than confident in his ability to slay a titan. Practicing alongside the likes of Levi and Mikasa had given him ample time to hone and improve his skills, even if they were on test dummies. Only occasionally did he have to deal with titans on the field of battle.

When Castle Utgard drew nearer, Jean frowned as the report from the soldier seemed to prove true. Even in the night he could clearly make out swarms of the human-eating monsters battling soldiers in the plains and along the castle. To make matters worse, a painfully familiar titan sat atop the wall with a pile of boulders nearby.

The Beast Titan sat there taking aim at the soldiers below with bone-shattering accuracy.

“You won’t escape this time you son of a bitch,” Jean swore through gritted teeth. “Hyah!”

Jaeger sped up, demonstrating the stamina that Jean admired him for. As he closed in on his target, the titan shifter seemed to be distracted by failed attempts of the soldiers below trying to get near him. It was only when the first anchor of Jean’s 3DMG pierced him that the Beast titan realized he let his guard down.

“Got you, asshole!” Jean shouted as he began his assault on the titan shifter.

Immediately a hand went to cover the nape of its neck, giving Jean a golden opportunity. Rather than go straight for the kill, he pulled his blades and flew nearby the titan’s face. He slashed at its eyes, successfully blinding it.

The Beast titan roared with pain, drawing the attention briefly of the titans and the soldiers below. In the pale moonlight, the soldiers were able to clearly see someone make a second pass at the titan.

An angry, blind swipe came for Jean but he gracefully dodged and struck along the attacking arm, tearing through the muscle. The arm uselessly fell to the side, preventing any further boulder throws at the Survey Corps. Instead of leaving it there, Jean zoomed towards the feet and skillfully cut at the back of its ankles. Unable to support its own weight, the Beast titan crumpled backwards and off Wall Rose into the Wall Maria territory. It landed with a satisfying boom. Before Jean could chase down after it, the roars of the countless titans surrounding Castle Utgard and the other soldiers split his attention.

Torn between avenging the soldiers of the past or helping save the current ones, Jean trembled as indecision took hold. He bit his bottom lip as he raced towards the soldiers, diving off the wall. “I’m sorry, Commander.”

As much as it ate at him, avenging his comrades would have to wait. Muttering an apology to no one in particular, “I’m sorry Commander Smith.”

Air blew his long two-toned hair up as gravity carried him closer to his destination. When the ground grew uncomfortably close, Jean anchored one of his points into a tree and swung himself towards a nearby titan. Just as it was about to stomp on a soldier, Jean drew closed in on its nape, slaying it without giving it a chance to respond.

The steaming corpse collapsed with Jean standing on its back. Staring at him with astonishment in their eyes, the Survey Corps soldiers cheered for a moment.

“Thank you!” One smiled widely, before being shaken by to reality by another titan closing in.

“No problem, but steady yourselves,” Jean advised as he dropped his dull blades. He equipped new blades and prepared for the oncoming titan.

“How much gas do you have?” Another soldier asked hurriedly.

“I haven’t used too much yet, my mission didn’t require it thankfully,” Jean frowned as he reflected on that for a moment.

“Then go to the castle. The soldiers there are defenseless. We have enough to defend ourselves but I don’t believe it’s enough to make it up the walls,” he informed Jean.

“Will you be alright?” he swiftly questioned back.

“O-of course! The Commander is on the way with reinforcements. Including Captain Levi. We can hold out until then,” the soldier stated through a feigned grin.

That painful grin twisted Jean’s insides. He had become more than familiar with the faux confidence soldiers gave when they were clearly in over their heads. As much as he wanted to contest this solder, he was needed elsewhere.

“Here, take my horse. He can get you there faster,” another soldier offered.

“T-thank you,” Jean nodded at him.

Hesitantly, Jean mounted the horse and whipped the reins. The horse galloped towards the castle, weaving around the various titans, bodies, and gear littering the field. While Jean had little doubt he could fight these titans on the plains, it was still a fool’s idea. He’d have the advantage on the walls of the castle and these creatures would be there soon enough.

After only a few minutes the walls of castle came into reach and Jean stood up, prepared to launch himself upwards. Numerous titans were already surrounding the base, some trying to crawl in through a hole in the wall. Others were attempting to climb the tilted tower where soldiers were likely rounded up. In a situation like this, it’d only make sense for them to get as far away from the titans as possible. However with titans scaling the walls, albeit clumsily, the structure slowly tilted under the massive weight of the titans. At least those titans would be easy targets.

Taking one last glance at his blades, Jean hoped they’d be enough because they’d have to suffice. Exhaling a deep breath, Jean’s scowl grew into a wicked grin as he launched himself. “Bring it on, shit stains!”

His shout briefly caught the attention of not only the titans, but also those atop the tower. Some peered over to see what was going on.

Jean made quick work of the first titan he latched onto, anchoring himself into the next one, and repeating the process. Those above watched as he used each titan as a stepping stone to get closer to the top. Some of the titans began to get smart and tried to reach for Jean, who merely buzzed around them like a mosquito. He deftly dodged their blows and cut the nape of their necks with machine-like precision. Just as Jean reached the top, one of the creatures ahead of him grabbed onto someone.

“Help!” a female voice yelled.

Rather than go for the kill, Jean instead attacked the wrist of the titan as he flew upwards between the titan and the castle. The soldier immediately fell back onto the tower as the titan looked upwards at Jean. The too wide smile and soulless eyes did little to shake Jean’s resolution as he fell back to the castle. Instead of aiming for the nape, Jean chose to cut at its other wrist. Cutting the muscle there released its grip on the castle. Unable to grasp the building anymore, the titan fell backwards and rolled down the length of the tower taking the titans down with it.

Jean anchored his 3DMG in the castle and swung himself over the edge and onto the top of the tower. Adrenaline slowly faded as the soldiers crowded around him. He collapsed to his knees as he tried to regain his breath.

“Thanks you!” Someone quickly offered as they all tried to get a look at their savior.

“It’s what I do,” Jean gave a cocky smirk as he continued to heave. His body was slowly catching up with him and exhaustion began to seep into his bones and muscles. Back to back missions were never smart, let alone coupled with moving halfway across the island, titan infested territory, and fighting more titans. Jean wasn’t superhuman. Or an Ackerman.

Through the crowd Jean managed to see a familiar face. Relief swelled inside him as he recognized Historia, meaning the war wasn’t lost.

She slowly came forward seemingly surprised at the sight in front of her.

“You’re alive? All hope isn’t lost then,” Jean smiled as he pushed himself to his feet. Historia just seemed confused at the sight before her.

“Thanks to you I am,” Historia gave a small smile.

“Like I’d let anything happen to her,” a familiar prickly voice shoved her way through the crowd and next to Historia.

Jean’s eyes widened as Ymir appeared. Her anger seemingly faded as soon as Jean came into view.

“You’re here?” Jean instantly reacted.

Ymir’s brow furrowed as she analyzed the sight in front of her, changing from anger to shock. “I could say the same about you.”

A loud roar interrupted their small reunion and drew more of the soldiers to the edge of the tower. Pulling himself over to the edge, Jean’s blood ran cold as a titan swiftly approached the tower. The speed and the way it walked on all fours indicated Jean’s least favorite titan to fight.

“Damn aberrant,” Jean cursed as he discarded another set of blades. He equipped his last set while he tried to predict where the frenzied titan would likely go next. As he watched its movements, he saw a dust cloud in the distance coming from the direction of Wall Sina. “Looks like back-up is on the way.”

The others glanced over and a small rounds of cheers brought a somber smile to Jean’s tired face. He placed a foot on the edge to drop down once more, but a hand grabbed his shoulder.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Ymir questioned.

“To kill that thing, duh,” Jean rolled his eyes. The frown that formed on Ymir’s face indicated he had already earned her ire in less than two minutes of meeting her again. Some things never changed. “Trust me, I’ll be fine. Who do you think took down that asshole chucking rocks at you?”

“That was _you_?” Ymir squinted at Jean, disbelief evident in her voice.

“Yup, now if you excuse me. See ya, your highness,” Jean did a little curtsy towards Historia as jumped down. He didn’t notice the confused look on her face as he went to face the oncoming titan. In the few seconds of serenity the freefall provided, Jean glanced once more towards the oncoming dust cloud to confirm it was indeed the Survey Corps and was thrilled to see it was at least people on horses. They would be there soon enough.

Turning his attention to the beast at hand, Jean focused his gaze on the titan quickly closing in on the tower. He could’ve let it come near the tower but with how much the structure it was leaning he’d be risking the lives of those on Castle Utgard if he allowed it to climb. He’d face the aberrant titan on the ground. Shooting one of his hooks into the side of the castle, Jean swung himself towards the oncoming titan.

“En garde!” Jean declared as he flew right into the titan’s face.

The aberrant titan opened its mouth for the easy meal but Jean flipped midair and dodged over the head of the titan. It was a maneuver few outside the Ackermans and Levi’s Squad could do, but it sure as hell came in handy when the time called for it. Behind the titan, Jean anchored his 3DMG behind the creature’s neck and aimed for its nape. With a flash of steel the titan steaming husk fell to the ground, to the cheers of those above.

Jean let out another relaxing breath until the rumbling ground caught his attention. He turned around to see the titan he cut down from the tower earlier running towards him, steam pouring rfom his hands.

“Back for round two, ya prick?” Jean muttered under his breath. He fired an anchor towards the castle tower, only for it to fly halfway before collapsing to the ground. Panic immediately set in as Jean glanced back at his 3DMG to notice a crucial detail. His gas was empty. “Well, fuck.”

Turning around to run, Jean’s feet gave away to his weight as exhaustion finally caught up with him. He had pushed both himself and his gear too far.

He turned to face the titan, despite the shouts coming from above and steeled his nerves. He’d always prepared to die for humanity. Although a 5 meter class titan was a bit humiliating. If he was going to get eaten it could at least be something a bit bigger. Just as Jean prepared to accept his fate, a stampede of horses went around him.

The sounds of numerous 3DMGs going off soothed Jean’s frayed nerves. He closed his eyes as the sounds of the titan hitting the ground signaled the end of the conflict.

\---

His eyes reopened when he felt several hands feeling him up.

“Hey, are you okay?” A familiar solider asked. One of the men he initially saved smiled when he saw Jean open his eyes. “Oh good, I thought we lost you.”

“Almost. Ran out of gas,” Jean chuckled. “Literally and figuratively.”

“Funny guy, eh?” The soldier smiled as he helped Jean up.

Having just enough energy to steady himself, Jean noticed the battlefield was a lot calmer than when his eyes first closed. “Did I pass out?”

“You were lying there for a while. Levi squad finished off most of the remaining titans, although you didn’t leave too much for them,” the soldier informed Jean.

“Where is the Captain? I have urgent news to report back to him,” Jean quickly remembered. While the urge to throw up what little food he had inside him suddenly overcame him when the memories returned, he swallowed it back down with his guilt.

“I believe he’s in the castle talking to those who survived. Here, let me help you there,” the man offered. Jean gratefully accepted as he leaned on the man for support.

While it took some time, the soldier and Jean eventually arrived at the castle. The structure still leaned after the assault but at least the titan that was lodged in the door was no longer an issue. Jean and the man entered the building to find other soldiers relaxing on the ground, talking amongst each other, or snacking on what little food was around. In the center of the room stood Levi surrounded by some of Jean’s 104th squad mates. Sasha, Connie, and Armin all stood by the Captain talking among themselves as Levi interviewed a soldier.

Some of the people from the tower recognized Jean as he hobbled over to the Captain, offering him thanks and praise on his way through. When he grew closer to the Captain the person who was talking to Levi took note and immediately gestured at Jean.

“He’s the one we’ve been mentioning!” Levi turned his head towards Jean, seemingly indifferent towards him.

“You’re the one who saved these people?” Levi questioned.

“Yes sir.”

“Good job,” Levi simply offered as he did a once over of Jean.

“I have some other news to report,” Jean said as took a knee, unable to stand on his anymore. “The mission to surprise the enemy tanks failed. I was the only one from my squad able to make the return trip. I’m sorry.”

“Mission? Tanks? Whose squad was this?” Levi narrowed his eyes at Jean.

“M-my squad, sir.”

“Your squad? Who the fuck are you?”

Jean’s eyes widened and he quickly looked up at Levi, trying to see if this was some sort of prank.

“Seriously? Captain Kirschtein, sir.”

“Never heard of you. I know all the captains and you’re not one of them. So I ask again, who the fuck are you.”

“Jean Kirschtein, sir. I was in your squad,” Jean furrowed his brows. What the hell was going on?

“Do you take me for an idiot? I’ve never seen your face, let alone had you in my squad.”

It was then the other three 104th graduates stopped their talking to look over. Once Connie, Sasha, and Armin saw Jean their faces turned ghost white.

“J-J-Jean?!” They reacted.

Levi quirked an eyebrow at his subordinates. “So they know you.”

“I graduated with them.” Jean clarified, unsure of what was even going on anymore.

Levi looked Jean over once again, noticing the pack he was carrying. “What’s in the bag?”

“Thunder Spears left over from the mission,” jean curtly replied.

“Thunder Spears? The hell are those?” Levi gave another annoyed look.

“Commander Zoe’s invention for fighting the armored titan, and now tanks,” Jean answered the question but found himself staring at a convenient spot on the floor as he tried to process the ongoing events.

“Commander Zoe?” Levi question. He scoffed at the thought as he glared at Jean. “I don’t know if you hit your head while fighting the titans but shitty glasses is a squad leader like me, and unlike you…”

“Sir, sorry to interrupt but the commander is here,” another soldier informed the two in the center of the room.

Heavy steps indicated the arrival of someone new. Jean looked over to see well-kept boots marching over. As he traced the body up with his eyes, a cold sense of déjà vu crept down his spine. When he found the face of the commander his blood froze in his veins.

“C-C-Commander Smith?!” Jean stumbled over his words.

The commander looked down at him but only had the same confused look in his eyes as Levi.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Oh, so you do know the commander,” Levi half-heartedly laughed.

Another set of steps quickly approached the commander. “Commander, sir! We finished surveying the walls, however no breach was found. We did find a few attacked villages as well as one decimated one: Ragako.”

The sound of that voice struck a chord with Jean and he quickly glanced at the person standing next to the commander. If his jaw could reach the floor it surely would’ve at that point. Standing next to Commander Smith in a Survey Corps jacket was a precious but painful memory. The parted hair, the freckles, the cheerful ring in the angelic voice. It was impossible.

“M-M-M-M…” Jean couldn’t bring himself to say his dead friend’s name.

His stuttering got the attention of the freckled kid, who did a once over of him before returning his attention to the commander. However, Marco immediately stopped what he was saying looked back at Jean with the same sense of realization that was currently frying all the circuits in Jean’s brain.

“Jean?!” Marco’s eyes widened as his shoulders slowly sunk.

Between the missions, the trek across two walls, fighting the titans, the stress of losing his squad, and trying to understand what was wrong with the world around him, Jean’s body let exhaustion overtake him. His body slumped over into blissful darkness.


	2. So Close but Not Quite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean awakens to find out it all wasn't a bad dream and that he was more or less stuck in this new world. Acceptance was never his forte though.

“…tches… on his arm…”

Muffled words stirred Jean from his dreamless slumber. His eyes cracked open, briefly blinded by the light. Although his vision was blurred, Jean could make out a familiar sight. A doctor was leaning over his body and focused on his right side. Sleep pulled him back in before he could see anything else.

When his eyes began to open again, light didn’t rush into his vision. Instead darkness enveloped the room. Jean’s slowly shifted his body, grunting as he tried to roll over onto his left side. A flash of pain immediately pulsed from his side and fell back into his original position. Rather than attempt that again, he pushed himself up into a sitting position with his left arm.

His thin blanket fell down onto his lap revealing a bare chest covered in bandages. Jean glanced over his body to find gauze over his left side and his right bicep. His entire upper right arm felt rather constricted within all the bandages. The rest of his body had a variety of bandages covering what Jean presumed to be smaller cuts from his mission.

At the sudden memory of the mission, Jean felt the intense desire to throw up. Leaning over the side of his bed, he spilled what remained of his stomach onto the floor.

“Disgusting…” a less than impressed voice commented.

Jean looked over to see Levi sitting in a corner with a tea cup in hand. His nose was wrinkled from the display in front of him. Sitting across from him was Hange.

“Sorry, sir,” Jean apologized, not meeting his superior’s eyes. He surely would get a thorough reaming for failing such an important task. As his mind contrived all the possible punishments the captain could give him, another stray thought entered his mind. “How long was I out?”

“Two days.”

“Two days?! How’s the squad? Were the walls breached?” Jean started to panic.

“Relax, everything is fine.” Hange finally spoke.

Jean tried regained control of his breathing and forced himself to at least be cool. “Sorry, commander.”

For an instant Hange’s eyes widened but it was gone just as quick as it arrived. Both Hange and Levi looked at each other before looking back at Jean. Levi spoke first.

“Tell us what happened on the mission,” he politely requested.

Jean’s face quickly fell flat as the grim details crawled back into his head. “We snuck around the far side of the island to ambush the tank division as ordered but Isaac… I mean cadet Grant, got spotted. We were immediately under fire. Before we even got our bearings we were decimated. As I tried to retreat the cadet… Isaac grabbed one of the Thunder Spears and detonated it so I could have a chance to escape,” Jean remembered, his voice faltering halfway through. Both his superiors simply nodded along as he recounted the tale. “One of the Marley tanks spotted me so I fled into the woods, the cursed ones.”

“Huh?” Levi’s expression was one of confusion and disbelief.

“The one where we occasionally lost soldiers? From the old wives’ tales,” Jean clarified. He rubbed his head as he thought more about it, not catching the puzzled look on Levi’s face. “Next thing I know one of their shots landed nearby and flung me and Jaeger into the pond and… I think I had a nightmare.”

“Jaeger? Eren was with you?” Levi quirked an eyebrow.

“What? No, my horse. Eren and the others remained with you I thought,” Jean said. Levi simply nodded as he waited for Jean to continue. “Did you guys find him?”

“Yeah, we recovered the horse along with you,” Hange confirmed, much to Jean’s relief. “But tell me about this nightmare.”

Jean inhaled deeply as he continued to force himself to remember.

“It was the Castle Utgard battle,” Jean shook his head as a small smile came to his face. “I dreamed I woke up with Jaeger, the horse, outside the walls. When we got back we learned the castle was under siege again so I took off towards it. I found the Beast titan launching boulders again and the Survey Corps in trouble.”

Jean bit his bottom lip as the vivid memory came back.

“So what happened next?” Hange continued, clearly intrigued by this nightmare.

Frowning, Jean continued, “I attacked the Beast titan but I couldn’t finish it off. Sorry, Captain. I couldn’t even finish the asshole off in my dream.”

“Why apologize?” Levi quirked an eyebrow.

At that question Jean felt a chill go down his spine. His shoulders tightened up as well.

“I didn’t avenge Commander Smith, or the Survey Corps soldiers. I did manage to save the others to the best of my ability in my dream. You would’ve been proud of the shit I did. Well, at least somewhat. I haven’t gotten that rusty at titan slaying. But- then it got really weird. I saw the others. You were in it. So was Sasha, Connie, and I think Armin. But so were Commander Smith and… a friend.”

“Friend?” Levi pursed his lips a bit as he placed his cup on the table.

“Yeah, a friend from my training days. He was one of the many casualties in Trost.”

Jean stared at his right hand momentarily before clenching it and shutting his eyes. A brief memory of a large pyre in the streets of Trost flashed in Jean’s mind, along with the surge of emotions he still associated with that night. Just like he practiced before he pushed the feelings away and regained his composure.

“Who was this soldier?” Hange inquired.

“You know, the cadet Eren talks about sometimes mentions during his post-transformation babble,” Jean replied, watching the other two in the room. The empty and somewhat confused looks only made Jean’s stomach swirl more. “Marco? Marco Bodt?”

“Uh-huh,” Levi nodded, but to Jean it was half-hearted at best.

Before Jean could process anymore a commotion could be heard outside the door.

“Hey, you can’t-”

“Get out of my way!” a stubborn voice shouted.

Levi and Hange exchanged quick looks of concern but it was too late, Eren Jaeger fell through the door into the room with two Survey Corp members on top of him. Despite the struggling going on between the three new intruders, Eren paused when he saw Jean staring at him confused. Eren’s fierce look disappeared along with most the blood in his face. He looked like he was saw a ghost.

“Sorry, captains. He just pushed his way through,” one of the Survey Corp members hurriedly apologized as they were able to contain Eren during his brief moment of shock.

“It’s really you...” Eren mumbled as they dragged him to his feet.

Jean’s mind began to connect the dots and his stomach dropped as realization began to dawn upon him. His fists clenched the edges of the worn blanket and brought it closer to him. He suddenly felt very naked and very vulnerable, unconsciously backing himself into his pillow.

Levi sighed and Hange frowned as they too knew what Jean suspected.

“I-I-I’m still here,” Jean mumbled, barely audible.

“Yup, you’re still in your nightmare, weirdo,” Levi confirmed, earning a glare from Hange.

Jean started to tremble as he stared at the blanket. What the hell was going on?

“Levi, hush,” Hange scolded as they stood up, briefly swatting the captain on his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me, I can smell the stink on you. Wash up, ya animal,” Levi wrinkled his nose once more as he too got to his feet.

“After this, I’m quite curious,” Hange smiled, in a manner all too familiar to Jean. He pulled his legs closer to his chest as he only ever saw that look whenever Hange started studying titans.

“You’re only curious because he called you commander,” Levi rolled his eyes. “He could be another shifter so we should just deal with him now.”

“I-I’m not a shifter!” Jean quickly defended himself.

“Of course you’re not, otherwise you’d be healing up right now,” Hange continued to smile. “He’s from another world.”

“What?” Jean’s eyes widened.

“The fuck?” Levi snorted, still not believing.

“You mentioned some woods you got blasted in. I think you’re one of those lost soldiers you mentioned.”

“The hell he is,” Levi glared at Hange.

“No way. I… I can’t be. That means they all… no. Oh God they emerged outside the walls. And you guys haven’t defeated the titans.”

Levi and Hange swiftly turned their gazes at Jean for that last comment.

“Come again?” Levi asked.

“There are still titans on the island. What year is it here?” Jean questioned back.

“856.”

“The time is the same…” Jean mumbled to himself as Hange’s demeanor changed between concerned and excited very quickly.

“You don’t actually believe this… kid, do you?” Levi stared back at his counterpart.

“I’ve read the stories about woods outside these walls in the underground city but to think they’re actually real…” Hange muttered to themself. Levi shook his head and turned his attention to Jean.

“I think you just hit your head real hard and can’t remember shit.”

Jean frowned at the accusation. A quick idea came into his mind, although he could only hope it wouldn’t backfire. “You like him.”

That comment caught Levi off-guard as Hange’s ears also perked up.

“What’d you say?”

“Commander Smith. You like him.” Jean stated through tight lips.

A heavy silence overcame the room as Levi’s normally expressionless face hardened. He closed the distance between him and Jean in a matter of seconds before grabbing him by the throat.

“What did you say?”

“You… love… Erwin…” Jean struggled to say through Levi’s tight grasp.

“Let him go, Levi,” Hange ordered.

With one last choke and an icy glare, Levi released Jean’s neck. A few rapid breaths escaped Jean’s throat. “That… that was your greatest regret.”

Levi paused once more and stared back at him. “Regret?”

“Before the Commander passed away,” Jean stated. Levi paled a bit at those words but Hange simply nodded.

“So I became commander after him. Interesting.”

A knock at the door interrupted the conversation. The wooden door opened to reveal Commander Smith with an envelope in his right hand. Jean stared at the commander’s arm before meeting his eyes. Nostalgia flooded his mind when he analyzed those determined but cold eyes. 

Even after all this time they remained an enigma to Jean.

“Hello, Jean,” he greeted more warmly than Jean expected.

Instead of going to Jean’s side, he grabbed the last wooden chair by the table with Levi’s cup.

“Commander…” Jean replied weakly.

“So, what have you two learned?” Erwin asked his two compatriots.

“He’s mental.” Levi stated.

“He’s from another world.” Hange disagreed.

Erwin quirked one an eyebrow at those statements. He opened the envelope to reveal a rather messy white paper. He slid that over to Hange and Levi as he stared back at Jean.

“You’re a curious fellow. The serial number on your gear matches none in any records we could find, nor does a horse we recovered from the top of the wall. On top of that your classmates verified that you are indeed Jean Kirschtein. Most intriguing of all though is what they said immediately after seeing you. You’re a dead man,” Erwin explained as he clasped his hands on his lap.

While discussing the facts with Jean, Levi picked up the paper. Hange peered over his shoulder. A wry smile appeared on their face as Levi placed the paper back on the table. Levi seemed momentarily surprised but kept his usual scowl plastered on his face. Erwin reached for the paper and walked it over to Jean.

Jean stared at the paper, trying to understand what it was. It appeared to be a list of names. As he read the list from left to right it became very clear what the list was. “Jean Kirschtein, 104th cadet, bitten.”

That particular sentence resonated with Jean though. It was an unfortunate set of words he committed to memory long ago. Except his name shouldn’t have been the one he was reading, it was supposed to be Marco’s. “I died at Trost?”

“Bingo,” Erwin confirmed as he pulled the paper away from Jean. “And your classmates vouch they found your body and watched it get added to the pyre. So I ask, are you Jean’s twin pretending to be him?”

“Huh?” Jean’s face immediately fell, disbelief written all over it. Levi choked on a cough while Hange laughed wildly. “No! I don’t have a sibling!”

“Just checking. Records also confirm Jean was an only child and a few Garrison guards from Trost mentioned a Survey Corps soldier returning from the Wall Maria territory after a mission. I presume that was you?” Erwin crossed his arms.

“Yes, sir.”

“Very well. I’m not sure I believe your story but the facts are the most interesting I’ve ever seen. For now I want you in Levi’s squad.”

“What?!” Both Jean and Levi reacted.

“Whether or not you are who you say you are, no one can deny your talent for slaying titans and it’d be weird for the Hero of Utgard to suddenly disappear from the eye of the Survey Corps. Levi, I trust you can keep an eye on him,” Erwin gave his subordinate a mischievous smile. Levi shrugged before nodding. “Good. Now we need to prepare the press release about the attack. No titans breached the wall.”

“They originated from Ragako…” Jean muttered as he looked down at the blanket.

Erwin paused for a moment before giving Jean his attention again. “How’d you know that?”

“Because all evidence pointed to people being turned into titans. The amount of titans slayed or captured should equal the population of the village. At least that was the conclusion we came to.”

Hange and Levi looked to Erwin for confirmation, who simply nodded. “That’s my best guess given the current information but I was about to check with these two. Interesting.”

\---

“For the record, I think this is piss poor idea,” Jean complained as he slipped his tattered shirt over his arms. It was days like this that he was glad he wore button down shirts.

“And for the first time today we agree on something.”

Levi leaned on the doorframe to Jean’s room with his arms crossed over his chest, his mouth still pulled down into a frown.

Quickly finishing his buttons, Jean’s eyes bounced around the room looking for his jacket. “Where’s my uniform?”

“Being inspected by Erwin. No need to wear it though, we’re resting. Come on,” Levi gestured with his head towards the doorway as he exited. The captain didn’t bother to wait as the other soldier caught up to him.

Silence hung over them as Levi escorted Jean to the dining room. Once they got further into the halls, Jean began to recognize the hallways. They treated him in the old Survey Corps headquarters where they kept Eren after his first transformation. If memory served right this was about the point they decided to evacuate the base. A light laughter echoed down the ornate hallways, stirring Jean from his thoughts. As much as he wanted to smile his lips faltered.

Jean let his mouth settle into slight frown. Mentally he prepared himself for seeing his friends who were now complete strangers. It pained him greatly since their voices carried exactly how they should’ve yet when he would walk into that room it wouldn’t be them. These were new people wearing the faces of those he had grown close to and bonded with through countless battles and struggles. But his worst fear wasn’t facing those he knew were still alive in his world. The dead frightened him more.

“The only people who know the truth about you will be your classmates who happen to be on my squad. So don’t go telling everyone willy-nilly you’re from somewhere else. Got it?” Levi informed him.

“Yes.”

With that last warning Levi opened the door to the dining room and entered first. The laughter and chattering grew much louder as Jean trailed Levi into the lively dining hall. The sight before Jean really felt like a blast from the past.

At the table Sasha had a half-eaten loaf of bread in one hand and a fork with meat on in the other, all while her mouth was clearly stuffed. Connie sat by her making faces with his fork and knife while Reiner slapped him on his back. Bertl ate peacefully next to his giant blond friend, ignoring the attention Ymir was showering Historia right across from him. At the other end of the table sat the Shinganshina trio. Mikasa ate passively while Armin seemed to be in a discussion with Eren who seemed to be deadly serious. Jean really was back in the past.

The only person at the table who was not in any recent memory was the black haired boy with his back towards Jean, seemingly giggling at Connie and Sasha’s antics. Jean’s heart froze at the sight, still unable to believe it.

Levi cleared his throat, silencing the room in record time. “We have a new member of Levi squad.”

The 104th graduates turned their attention towards Levi before trying to see who the new person was. Jean swallowed audibly as the room became deathly quiet. He didn’t miss the sounds of silverware clanging on the floor as the others stared at him. As much as he tried to make eye contact with all his ‘friends’, he found the clean wooden floor more welcoming.

“Hi…” Jean mumbled.

Allowing the awkward silence to pervade a bit longer than it should, Levi eventually cleared his throat once more as he pushed Jean forward.

“What I’m supposed to tell you kids is that for ‘his valor, skill, and impressive abilities displayed during the battle of blah blah blah’ our friend here has earned a spot on the squad. Truth is I’m his keeper. And you get to share in the fun with me. His existence makes no fucking sense and nothing feels right, but that’s normal around here. Give your dead friend a nice warm welcome. Training resumes tomorrow morning, see you then.”

Levi’s speech did little to comfort Jean, or those in the room. Levi turned to leave but Jean quickly grabbed his sleeve.

“Sir, there is something important I wish to tell you,” Jean whispered as he glanced back at the table, his eyes focused on Bertl and Reiner. They actually had both the Armored and Colossal titans in their grasp.

“Not tonight, bug me in the morning.”

“But-”

“No buts. Now get some food. And try to keep it off the floor.”

Levi wrinkled his nose a bit before walking away, leaving Jean at the mercy of those he once held dear. Having no other choice, Jean finally met the gazes of those at the table. And it was about as glacial as he expected. Reiner and Bertl seemed the most neutral with tightly sealed lips while Connie and Sasha were slack-jawed. The lack of silverware in Connie’s hand gave Jean a good guess where the clattering came from earlier. The Shinganshina trio looks practically ghostly with Eren being almost lighter than Armin somehow. Mikasa even appeared to be stunned. Still, Jean couldn’t bring himself to meet Marco’s face.

Despite steeling his nerves Jean was unprepared for all this.

He broke out into a powerwalk towards the doors, refusing to meet the table’s gazes any longer. These weren’t his classmates. They weren’t his comrades. And they sure as hell weren’t his friends. And he wasn’t their Jean.

He was a ghost.

No one bothered to stop him as he exited the room, frozen from some combination of shock and awe. Not that Jean cared.

Jean made a beeline for the stables, determined to find the one creature that actually knew him. His memory served him well as he managed to navigate to the stables with minimal effort. Much to his joy he found his compatriot in a stall, clearly taken care of. A smile came to his face when his horse whinnied.

“Hey, Jaeger,” Jean greeted his noble steed. His horse shook its mane a bit.

A quick survey of the stable revealed the location of the supply chest. Jean hummed a tune to himself as he retrieved a brush from the chest, briefly checking the condition of the brush. He only just started brushing the horse when he heard someone walk in behind him. However Jean merely ignored whoever they were.

“I assumed you’d be here when I heard that you bolted from the dining hall,” a friendly voice chuckled. Jean remained silent as he brushed Jaeger’s hair. “It’s only natural to return to what’s familiar to you. Not that this place is unfamiliar to you. You seem to know your way around the grounds.”

“Of course, we came here too after Trost,” Jean rolled his eyes, not that the other person could see.

“I see, so this seems like the past to you. What year was it when you left?”

“Same as here. You all are slower than us for some reason. But it’s not all the same if I’m not even supposed to be here.”

Jean paused brushing momentarily, his knuckles turning white as he squeezed the tool tightly.

“But here you are.”

“Yeah, thanks for the reminder. Taking me to the abandoned headquarters. I really do feel like Jaeger,” Jean caustically joked.

A hand gently clasped his shoulder, finally forcing Jean to turn and face Hange. “You’re here because this is where we relocated entirely after Trost. We had to go somewhere once the titan power revealed itself. We just got lucky we got it.”

“Lucky is not the word I’d use,” Jean snorted as he thought about how ‘lucky’ they were to have four people with it. They just had no idea yet. “Jaeger couldn’t figure out how to use the damn thing effectively for a few months.”

“Jaeger?” Hange quirked an eyebrow as they glanced at Jean’s horse.

“Eren not the horse. He saved Trost and turned things around for us. Took an eternity and a shitload of lives but he did it,” Jean sighed. “But you already knew that.”

“Eren’s a shifter?” Hange turned her head, clearly puzzled.

“Yes, the Attack titan. Or at least that what we called it.”

“Really? Reiner Braun was the titan shifter who sealed the hole in the Trost wall. He rallied the troops with his surprise power.”

Jean dropped the brush and quickly turned to meet Hange’s eyes. He found only curiosity residing there. “What do you call his form?”

“We haven’t named it but it’s like a regular large titan form. Nothing remarkable minus his ability to retain his mental faculties as he transforms.”

Hange rubbed their chin as they thought more about it. Jean, however, seemed completely baffled.

“W-what became of the Armored and Colossal titans?”

That question only seemed to provoke more curiosity from Hange. “Armored and Colossal titans? Well the Armored titan was spotted at Trost but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. As for the Colossal titan it hasn’t been seen since Shinganshina. It appeared in the middle of the town and just vanished as well.”

Jean narrowed his eyes at the ground as he thought more and more about it.

“What about the Female titan?”

“Female titan? Besides the vaguely feminine titans that crawl around? Never heard of it. Is there a special one?”

“She should’ve appeared during the first expedition beyond Wall Rose after the Trost incident. What happened then?”

Hange scratched their head to jog their memory. After a simple shrug Hange replied, “Not much of note. We hit a forest to recover some supplies left behind before the war as well as test out our new formation. We took the normal amount of casualties as expected for such an expedition. No special titans though.”

Jean began to shake as he thought more and more about what Hange spoke. If Reiner wasn’t the Armored titan and the Female titan never revealed herself, he was making dangerous assumptions. “Then…”

“It appears our world is not the same as yours,” Hange concluded with a smile on their face. “Not all of it at least.”

“I really don’t belong here, comman- I mean captain,” Jean apologized as his head began to hurt from thinking about his situation.

“It’s alright. But I do hope you start to think of this place as your own. You’re obviously a soldier of Humanity and while not your classmates from your world, Levi squad knows of you and your situation. They’re a friendly bunch, if only a little bit noisy.”

“You have no idea,” Jean snorted before catching himself. “I mean, you do know but… They really don’t want me. I’m a stranger wearing the face of their dead comrade.”

“Interesting thought. And while it’s true you are _technically_ their deceased friend, you’re also your own person. You have unique experiences that we have no idea about and that makes you a valuable asset to us. You’ve already proven your worth at Castle Utgard and they know that. Just give it time,” Hange recommended.

“For them to adjust?” Jean guessed.

“For both of you to adjust. This won’t be an overnight thing,” Hange shrugged. Hange watched as Jean nodded slowly when he went to grab the brush. “If you ever need to get something off your chest or think your insight might be valuable to a mission, just tell me or Levi.”

“Will do, cap-”

“Just call me Hange. Now if you excuse me, I have a new hobby to look into.”

Hange grinned wickedly, sending shivers down Jean’s spine. “A-and that is?”

“Testing whether or not your theory about the captain and the commander is true.”

Caught by the surprise of the statement, Jean didn’t have a chance to follow up. Hange had already left the stables to further their research. With little options left, he returned to brushing his horse while muttering compliments to him. Jean was so enthralled with taking care of his horse that he almost jumped out of his skin when he heard some clattering from the entrance of the stable. He jumped around to look for the source of the noise. However he found no one there. Instead there was a bowl on the floor with a spoon as well as bread in it.

Walking over slowly, Jean heard the rhythmic sounds of footsteps sprinting away as he approached the food.

“Hello?” he called out, but only silence answered him.

He peered outside the stable to find anyone, but whoever left him the food was already long gone. As much as he wanted to know who left him the kind present, his growling stomach reminded him of his intense need for sustenance. Jaeger could only shake his head as he watched his rider scarf down his stew with less manners the animals surrounding him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The writing bug has hit me for now so I'm going to do my best to keep this updated weekly/bi-weekly. If you squint hard enough you'll see the JM and the beginings of Erwin/Levi. Next time will have more JeanMarco as Jean struggles to adjust to his new surroundings (I know because it's already half written) and it is hilarious. With the world kind of set-up and Jean forced to accept his fate now we can get to the fun parts: exploring the new world and Jean's attempts to fit in.
> 
> Please tell me what you all think below!
> 
> Comments, kudos, likes, and reblogs are all appreciated and make my day much better. Feel free to message me on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22) if you have anything you wish to discuss or ask!


	3. Turn the Other Cheek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly adjusting to his new surroundings, Jean starts to learn how his friends changed in this world. When given the opportunity to show his skills and personality Jean doesn't back down. Much to the chagrin of Eren and Marco.

“What are you wearing?” Levi cringed when he saw Jean enter the dining hall for breakfast. That judgmental glare was not the first thing Jean wanted to see in the morning.

“My shirt?” Jean quirked an eyebrow. The other Levi squad members merely watched the unexpected exchange. It certainly was better than the icy silence from the previous evening.

“The same shirt from the battle? That you arrived in? You smell like sweaty socks left out in the sun for days.” Levi wrinkled his nose at the thought.

“Eh, I’d say more like sweat, gunpowder, horses, and…” another voice commented with a vocal sniff. “Pond scum?”

Jean turned to see several other older veterans enter the room. The one commenting on his aroma was easily the tallest of the bunch with blond hair longer than Jean’s and an impressive amount of facial hair. Ignoring the statement Jean merely shrugged.

Another set of steps followed behind the veterans who sat down with their meals.

“Thank you, Mike. Your nose is an asset to us all,” Erwin chuckled as he entered. Instead of entering with food though, he had a Survey Corps jacket in his hand. “Jean, you may have your jacket back.”

Mike nodded in acknowledgement as Jean set his plate down on an empty table. “Thank you, sir.”

When Jean reached for his jacket, Erwin pulled it back a little bit and put on a stern look. “However, you may not wear it in public under any circumstance.”

“Excuse me?” Jean flinched at the unusual yet harsh order. His face was a mixture of confusion sprinkled with anger.

Erwin flipped the jacket around and opened it for Jean. He showed the room the emblem of the Survey Corps on the back, not helping Jean understand the situation any better. “What’s wrong?”

The 104th trainees squinted for a moment until Armin spoke up. “The colors, they’re the opposite of ours.”

Jean frowned for a moment as he considered that.

“Correct. While it might not be too suspicious to the others, it’s still not right. Suspicious at worst, an obvious oversight at best. We’ll provide you with a new uniform once we resupply in town in the coming days but for now you need to keep that to yourself. I’m not in any position to take away your few trinkets from the ‘other world’ if they won’t be of substantial value to us.”

“Bodt.” Levi cut into the conversation.

Marco instantly straightened up. “Y-yes, sir?”

“You’re roughly the same size as our dead friend, give him some of your clothes so he won’t smell like an animal all the time.”

“S…sure.” Marco frowned for a moment, sinking Jean’s heart.

Jean didn’t want to take anything from anyone, especially Marco.

“Now.”

“Okay!” Marco pushed his half-eaten breakfast away, excusing himself from the table. Some whispered encouragement was sent his way as he approached Jean.

With little choice in the matter Jean finally forced himself to meet Marco’s gaze for the first time since the battle at Utgard. His breathing faltered for a moment upon seeing those gentle brown eyes he’d only seen in his nightmares since Trost. Expecting a cold welcome, Jean was moderately surprised to find them soft and neutral. Not speaking a word, Marco led the way. Jean grabbed his jacket from his commander on their way out. 

Jean’s lips trembled as words struggled to find their way past his tongue. He knew his mouth was moving but no voice came out. If Marco looked back he’d likely be confused and amused by the awkward display. Well Jean’s Marco would, he wasn’t sure about _this_ Marco.

The silent trip ended abruptly with Marco pausing by a random door and Jean walking straight into his back, completely distracted by his thoughts. Marco stumbled forward a bit but easily caught himself.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry!” Jean quickly apologized to his friend.

“You’re fine, don’t worry!” Marco rushed a reply just as fast. The two were left standing in silence for a moment before Marco realized Jean was waiting on him. “Oh, right.”

Marco opened the door to the room where he and several other guys from the Survey Corps slept. The amount of bunk beds brought with it an air of nostalgia from Jean’s training days. He remained frozen in place by the entrance while Marco entered and made a beeline for a bunk in the corner. At the base of bed sat a footlocker. Marco bent down and started shuffling through it. Jean bit his bottom lip a little bit as he entered the room, his eyes traveling to his squadmate’s back. Marco faced away from Jean and gave his new teammate ample view of his behind.

Jean mentally scolded himself for eyes lingering on Marco’s ass longer than he should. “Must get cramped in here.”

Marco paused to give Jean a surprised look. “I prefer to think of it as cozy.”

“Of course you do,” Jean laughed dryly, earning a concerned look from Marco. His blood froze as he realized he said something out of line. “I mean-”

Before Jean could mumble out an awkward apology, Marco closed the distance between them and got in Jean’s face. With only mere centimeters between them Jean’s brain short-circuited. Despite being so close Marco’s eyes seemed interested in every other part of Jean’s face besides his eyes. He was studying Jean. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Jean used the opportunity to do the same. The freckles that dusted Marco’s cheeks seemed spot-on from what Jean could remember. Besides being somewhat thinner and more mature than his last memory of him, Marco seemed every bit the person Jean recalled.

The only thing Jean didn’t anticipate was Marco grabbing his jaw and tilting his head up to check out his neck. In a moment of panic, Jean stumbled backwards from the surprise contact. He raised his hands defensively in front of his chest.

“You even have the same mole just below your right ear,” Marco mumbled to himself, not even apologizing for the sudden intrusion.

“Oi! You don’t see me grabbing your backside to look for the big dipper on your left ass cheek!” Jean narrowed his eyes while dropping his arms.

Marco’s eyes widened at the words Jean spat at him. Jean blinked a few moments until realization dawned on him. He pressed his lips together as he was too embarrassed to continue.

“…it’s on my right cheek…” Marco meekly corrected as a light blush hid some of his lighter freckles.

Jean frowned for a moment as he processed that information, briefly forgetting his situation again. “No, it was definitely on his left ass cheek.”

Marco blinked a few times until Jean’s brain caught up with his mouth. Jean groaned and slapped his forehead when realized once again.

“I think I know my own butt…” Marco blushed as he stared at Jean’s feet. Jean simply nodded as he scratched the back of his head. Both boys only lasted a few moments in awkward silence before they broke out into a light chuckle.

The soft chuckling grew into full on laughter rapidly as Jean clutched his sides. Marco faired far worse as he was on the ground practically rolling. Time seemed to stop around the two of them as they lost themselves in the moment. Once their bodies allowed it both boys began to calm down. Jean extended an arm to Marco as his other hand wiped away at the tears in his eyes.

“Sorry, that was just… oh man I haven’t laughed like that in a while,” Jean said.

Marco took his hand, quickly hoisted back to his feet. “Me too. I just… wasn’t expecting that. Jean was the only person who knew about those freckles. They are so embarrassing.”

“Eh I thought they were cool. Literally a constellation on your butt,” Jean disagreed.

“That’s also what he said. I mean what you said- I mean…” Marco stumbled on his words.

“No, I get it. I keep doing the same thing. The Marco I knew had them on the opposite cheek as you I suppose, but don’t worry your secret is safe with me.” Jean reassured Marco by placing a finger over his own lips.

“I appreciate it. It’s still embarrassing,” Marco scoffed.

“You mean kick ass.” Jean disagreed once more.

“Sure,” Marco rolled his eyes before he suddenly recalled why there were even in the room to begin with. He walked back over to his chest and shuffled some more things around until he pulled out some different colored button-down shirts. He inspected them for a moment until he deemed them worthy of being given to Jean. “Here, these should keep you covered until laundry day.”

“Thanks.”

Jean had just started looking over the clothes when a knocking form the doorway drew their attention.

“Training starts in ten minutes, hurry up,” Connie informed the two. He paused when he saw the smiles on both the boys’ faces. He merely shook his head as he walked away. “It’s been like five minutes…”

Ignoring that last comment, both Jean and Marco remained silent as they glanced everywhere around the room but at each other. Finally a cough from Jean broke the awkward atmosphere.

“I’m gonna go… change in my room. Thanks again. For this.” Jean gestured to the door and then back to the shirts.

“No problem. See you at training,” Marco smiled before turning to leave. Jean stayed behind for a moment as he thought about what just transpired.

Maybe, just maybe he could start to accept this world he was thrust in. Even if just to spend more time with those he lost before. His newfound joy quickly wandered into another direction though.

“I wonder if it faces the same direction as Marco’s freckles did…”

\---

After a hurried breakfast by himself Jean rushed to join the other Levi squad members outside standing in line side by side. He ran to the opposite end of the line to stand next to Marco, the only person he had a modicum of comfort around. It was either that or Bertholdt and he still hadn’t come to terms that he might not have been the Colossal titan. Thankfully neither Bertholdt nor Reiner seemed to notice Jean’s suspicious glances.

“Alright, it’s that time of the month. Today we practice hand-to-hand combat with an exercise you should be familiar with,” Levi informed the others, leaving Jean momentarily puzzled. Levi walked back and forth in front of his subordinates until he stopped right next to Jean. He reached into his pocket and revealed two wooden knives.

Jean’s eyes popped momentarily as he thought he understood now. “Like from our cadet training?”

“Bingo. For the sake of everyone learning different techniques and such we’ll have two pair off at a time to fight. Arlert, Reiss, you’re up!”

“Reiss?” Jean echoed back, earning a confused look from Marco. Levi chose to ignore the comment though.

The two petite blond soldiers stepped up and retrieved the knives from the captain. Next they walked in front of everyone, pausing only to nod to each other. With the knives in their dominant hands, both soldiers touched blades for only a second before pulling them apart to start circling each other. Watching Armin and Historia spar was… clumsy at best.

While not supposed to be the most riveting display Jean’s trained gaze judged every movement, every missed slice. To say Armin and Historia were unpracticed was likely an understatement but Jean knew why. After the threat outside the walls became known almost all the divisions went through rigorous training to defend the island. A proper fighting method and technique had to be established to prepare for the oncoming war.

The fight in front of him was an afterthought from the titan-focused regimen. And, not to Jean’s surprise, it ended with Armin bringing his knife to Historia’s throat.

“Enough.” Levi declared.

Armin dropped his knife and extended a hand to Historia. A low snarl a few feet down from Jean almost caused Armin to drop his arm.

 _”At least Ymir is as protective as ever,”_ Jean mused to himself.

“Up next is Springer and Braus. No chickenshit dance this time,” Levi warned.

The two chuckled as they received the wooden knives from Armin and Historia. There was a story there that Jean wanted to know, yet he felt like he could accurately guess based on what he knew of his own Sasha and Connie.

This match proved to be more interesting to observe if only because the two participants spent more time making faces and grunting at each other than actual fighting. With an irritated shout Levi called it off and forced Bertlholdt and Reiner to fight. Unlike in his world, Reiner and Bertholdt seemed a lot less trained. While very proficient in hand to hand, it was a technique more similar to Training Corps than to Marley or its soldiers.

“Maybe they aren’t the original shifters,” Jean mumbled to himself.

After the two fought back and forth without giving an inch to their counterpart, Levi ended the fight. “Alright, Kirschtein. How did you rank in your Training Corps class?”

“Sixth, sir,” Jean replied. Although technically he was number two if titan shifters were discounted, or number one if Mikasa was disqualified on the account of being an Ackerman.

Instantly mumbling sprung up next to Jean, piquing his interest.

“He was eighth in our class,” Connie seemed pleasantly surprised.

“Well aren’t you the better version of yourself,” Levi joked. The words felt like acid to Jean, burning his ears and head as he listened to them. “Who was sixth in your class?”

“Eren, sir,” Marco quickly informed him.

“That settles it, Jaeger and Kirschtein you’re up,” Levi decided, ignoring the sound of a horse whinnying in the distance.

Jean nodded as he accepted a knife from Reiner. Eren bit at his lower lip when Bertl handed him the other one. Jean stepped in front of everyone, doing his best to calm his nerves as strangers with familiar faces silently judged him. To his surprise Eren seemed to have little interest in meeting his eyes before the fight. They silently touched blades before backing up.

Jean waited for Eren to make a move, choosing to instead analyze his style here. Much to his surprise and disappointment, Eren merely circled him. Eren remained hunched over, only occasionally staring at Jean but no longer than necessary.

“What’s wrong, Jaeger? To chicken to fight your better?” Jean goaded, quickly catching Eren’s attention.

“Huh?” Eren replied, caught off guard by the insult.

“Afraid I’m gonna whoop your ass? Don’t tell me you got soft on me,” Jean further pressed Eren. 

Eren’s face slowly twisted from the words Jean taunted him with. Jean’s grip tightened on his knife as he watched all the telltale signs of Eren’s minimal patience running out. The brief moment his lips moved to show gritted teeth, the icy stare of seething anger, and Jean’s personal favorite: Eren’s right knuckle cracking as he gripped his blade. 

As if on cue, Eren lunged at Jean with all his weight behind the swing. Sidestepping the powerful slash, Jean easily dodged that and al of Eren’s follow up moves. He gracefully moved around the predictable movements.

Eren in Jean’s world had a mouth that could match Levi on a good day, full of vitriol for all things Jean held dear. Coupled with an intense yet borderline savage fighting style resulted in an enemy Jean despised fighting but a powerful ally. This Eren though, was no Eren Jaeger.

“Too afraid to attack?” Eren quipped at Jean, the insult failing to puncture Jean’s thick skin.

“Please, you couldn’t even hit Armin with those moves,” Jean teased back, earning a soft ‘hey’ from the observers. “No offense, ‘Min.”

Eren paused for a second when he heard that. He clenched his teeth as he glared at Jean, “Quit looking down on me, you prick!”

Sensing a touchy nerve, Jean pressed it with all the joy of toddler in a candy store. “Look down on you? That implies there’s something to look at.”

Levi quirked an eyebrow at the insult as the others’ bit their tongues. Eren, however, snapped.

Rather than lunge once more, Eren chucked the knife right at Jean’s head and followed up by charging at him. Instead of dodging the knife, Jean met it head on and deflected it with his blade. He slashed it out of the air and quickly sheathed his blade in his pocket. Next he sidestepped Eren once more and grabbed Eren’s face. Surprised by the move, Eren tried to stop but Jean already heaved Eren’s head back the way he came while he let Eren’s momentum carry his lower body. Eren stumbled back a few steps before ultimately fall on his back with a harsh thud. Wincing on the impact, Eren let out a cough. When he opened his eyes he saw Jean’s face near his own, finally registering a wooden blade pressed against his throat.

“Eren Jaeger flat on his back and defeated by me? Today is starting off to be a good day,” Jean chuckled, further angering his counterpart. The venomous stare from Eren indicated Jean’s battle tactic succeeded a lot more than he anticipated. “With some actual training you could probably kick my ass once more.”

That last comment momentarily diffused Eren’s seething anger. “What?”

“My Eren consistently kicked my ass, but it took some time. And polishing. A whole fucking lot of polishing,” Jean recalled as he offered a hand to Eren. Rather than take it, Eren pushed himself up and dusted off his pants. “Ever heard the phrase you can’t polish shit? Well it’s wrong. And Eren Jaeger was the living proof of it.”

The truce that Jean temporarily created left just as fast as it arrived. A pointed glare from Eren only succeeded it putting Jean in a better mood.

“Man, it’s like he never left,” Reiner howled with laughter at the insults. Jean frowned at the bigger blond, not that he noticed. Reiner wasn’t the person he was seeking to entertain.

“Enough, Kirschtein. Unusual but an effective tactic I suppose,” Levi noted before staring at the squad. “Bodt, Lentz, go.”

Jean’s eyes pooped for a moment as Marco claimed the blade from his clutch. Jean missed the ‘thank you’ Marco muttered as he watched Ymir go and fetch Eren’s blade from the ground.

\---

When evening rolled in and the training was declared to be finished, Jean made himself a ghost once more. He acquired a piece of bread for himself and an apple from the mess hall before the others arrived. He was momentarily shocked he beat Sasha to the food but his surprise vanished when the aforementioned girl sprinted by him on his way out.

“She’s as oblivious as ever,” Jean snorted as he continued on his way.

With the day considered done, Jean was pleased to find the stable empty save for the horses. He made his way over to the crate with the brush from the night before. Popping the rest of the bread in his mouth, he retrieved the brush and returned to his favorite animal companion. Jaeger shook his mane as Jean approached him.

Jean rolled his eyes at the greeting but wordlessly began taking care of his steed. He carefully combed the fur as Jaeger occasionally moved his head, amused with everything else in the stable except for Jean’s movements. After a moment Jaeger seemed to notice something and started making moves towards Jean’s pocket.

“Not yet, after I’m done,” Jean scolded as he jerked his hip away from the horse’s mouth.

Jaeger whinnied back, briefly scaring Jean.

“God, you’re as impatient as Eren too.”

Quickly finishing up the last spot he wanted, Jean removed the apple from his pocket. Jaeger snapped for it but Jean took it away just as fast. In order to keep his fingers and hand intact, Jean carefully grasped the fruit before extending it to the impatient horse. Jaeger nudged the apple out of Jean’s hand and onto the stall floor before immediately taking a chunk out of it. Better the apple than Jean’s hand.

“You’re comparing Eren to a horse now? How times change,” an amused voice commented, causing Jean spin around on his heels quickly.

Sitting on a crate was Sasha with a bemused smile on her face. Standing behind her with his mouth full was Connie, who seemed more preoccupied with his food than Jean and his horse.

“I guess that means Eren used that insult in this world too,” Jean rolled his eyes, slightly miffed that didn’t change.

“This world?” Sasha repeated as though hearing it for the first time. It was probably her first time actually considering and processing it. “So you come from another place like this?”

“Yes and no,” Jean replied. “Yes I come from a place like yours, but it’s in a much different place than yours is.”

“Like what? On a mountain? Are there Mountain titans!?” Sasha immediately lit up as she considered the thought. Her face fell as she realized the implication of her thought. “Then that’d mean they could get us easier. Shit.”

“What? No! I mean there are lots of things different about how far along you are. We’ve accomplished a lot more in the same amount of time as you all. Although the price was high…” Jean grimly compared.

“Like what?” Sasha seemed even more curious. Now Connie even eyed Jean with interest.

“I… I don’t think it’s my place to say,” Jean nervously bit his lip. They may have been Sasha and Connie but with Reiner and Bertl not being shifters, there were very few people Jean could trust. He walked over towards the two as he observed them, trying to find any trace of an injury.

“Huh? You can’t say you’re from somewhere else and then not tell us about it,” Sasha huffed, crossing her arms. A sleeve pulled up from Sasha’s movements giving Jean a glimpse of a bandage under her arm.

“Yeah, that’s weird,” Connie agreed, frowning. Jean glanced at him and it wasn’t hard to spot something on him. Around his neck he could see numerous bruises that hadn’t healed. Bruises never lasted too long on his Eren. Although Jean had little idea where so many small bruises came from.

“Fine,” Jean admitted, content with his findings. He blinked once and found both squad mates already in his personal space, eyes wide with wonder. “Hey! A little room here.”

Both back off a few inches but no more. “Tell us!”

“About what? We managed to recapture the Wall Maria territory, successfully fight off the Beast titan, and defeat the Colossal and Armored titans,” Jean recapped a bit.

“We took back Wall Maria?!” Connie and Sasha were practically jumping with joy.

“Yeah, and you two fought in that battle. And we played a pivotal role in taking out the Armored titan. All three of us got medals for that,” Jean informed them. A chill ran down his spine as he recalled the ceremony and for the first time in his life he was called a hero.

“We actually fought of the Armored titan and won? And lived?!” Connie seemed baffled by the thought.

“Yeah but Mikasa was the one who took him down,” Jean chuckled. That bit of information had the other two groaning.

“Of course she did,” Connie shook his head. “Does that mean we were friends? If you fought alongside us like that and all.”

“Duh, the 104th fights together and stays together,” Jean smiled, further widening the smiles on the other twos’ faces.

“I guess you weren’t such a prick after all if we became good friends,” Sasha rubbed her chin, earning a scowl from Jean. “You were such a stick in the mud during training.”

Rather than take the insult, Jean let it go for a moment to get some information. “What was I like? The me here?”

Connie and Sasha’s excitement ceased. They stopped what they were doing and stared at each other, silently communicating in a way only those two understood. Once it seemed like they reached a conclusion, Sasha nodded and Connie opened his mouth.

“You were a prick at times, and usually full of yourself. You were nice enough to us and Marco, but mean to some of the others. Like Eren and Armin. Oh and you loved Mikasa!” Connie made a fist with one hand and pounded it into his other hand once he recalled that last bit of information.

At least that remained consistent.

“Yeah but she didn’t like you. Or didn’t notice. We could never get her to tell,” Sasha continued. “At Trost though you were good though. You saved lives, helped the cadets, and lead the assault to resupply. We don’t know what happened or when you disappeared but after the battle…”

Sasha went mum as her eyes fell to the ground. Connie frowned too as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You found my body?” Jean guessed, his blood turning cold as the words. The silent nodding from the two confirmed his sneaking suspicion. “Who found me?”

Sasha’s remained glued on the floor as Connie bit his bottom lip.

“Marco.” Connie quietly replied. Jean joined Sasha in staring at the floor as he processed the parallel. “He… he didn’t want to believe it at first. But there was no doubt it was you. No one else has your same hair. We were able to confirm what was left of you.”

“How… how did he react when they burned me?” Jean’s shaky voice asked before his brain could realize what he said.

The two didn’t reply for a while until Sasha let out a sigh.

“He joined the Survey Corps. I don’t know what went through his mind but he never forgot about you. You’ll have to ask him yourself if you wanna know.”

“How did you know that we burned you?” Connie wondered.

“Sneaking suspicion. We did the same after the battle to those bodies we recovered,” Jean only half told the truth. He should’ve let the interrogation end there but a morbid curiosity kept his mouth talking. He had to know one final detail. “My- my body. What was I missing?”

Sasha’s eyes widened even more. She covered her mouth as it clearly wasn’t a pleasant memory.

“Part of your body and face,” Connie replied. He motioned with one hand vaguely over the left side of his torso.

“My left half and part of my face…”

Sasha sighed while Connie narrowed his eyes a bit at Jean. “Yeah, but why do you-”

“Jean Kirschtein, the commander requests your presence in his office!” Hange announced as they suddenly popped in through a window, shocking everyone inside. Jean fell backward onto a stall wall while Connie and Sasha grabbed each other. Jean’s horse was also spooked and reared backwards a bit. “Sorry, Jaeger!”

“Easy boy,” Jean spoke to his horse, but mostly to himself. The mention of the name was enough to snap Connie and Sasha from their shock.

“Jaeger?” They questioned together.

“Yeah, it’s his horse. Now come on, Jean. Erwin doesn’t like to be kept waiting,” Hange motioned for Jean to climb out the window.

“That’s Commander Smith, shitty glasses,” a disgruntled voice corrected them. Jean rolled his eyes once he knew he’d be accompanied by two captains.

Leaving his two squad mates to their own devices, Jean exited through the door to find Levi and Hange waiting impatiently for him near the window. Rather than wait for him, Levi turned around and started towards the main building. Jean decided to walk side by side with Hange instead of trying to catch up with a displeased Levi.

“What’s wrong with him?” Jean whispered.

“Dunno, I think you’re interrupting his alone time with the commander,” Hange hypothesized. “Still need to confirm your theory so I can’t say.” Levi was too far ahead of them to eavesdrop so they continued their casual conversation inside the Survey Corps headquarters. They spoke until they neared Erwin’s office. Once they got closer Jean noticed soldiers outside bearing the different symbols of the other two military divisions.

“Military Police and the Garrison?” Jean muttered under his breath.

“Oh, you have those two. Very good,” Hange said.

Once they arrived, Levi knocked on the door. “Oi, we got him.”

“Come in, come in,” Erwin’s voice beckoned.

Levi pushed the door open, motioning for the other two to follow him in. Jean and Hange entered but were surprised to find other people sitting with Erwin by a table in the center of his office. On one side sat an older bald man with a whimsical smile and bearing the Roses of the Garrison on his jacket. On Erwin’s other side sat a younger man closer to Erwin’s age with stringy facial hair and longer hair bearing the Military Unicorn on his jacket.

Jean paused for a moment to greet the two familiar men. “Commander Pixis, Commander Dok.”

The two men nodded at Jean as Hange closed the door. “Ah, so you’re familiar with the other two military commanders then.”

“O-of course, sir,” Jean’s voice faltered for only a second.

“Gentlemen, this is the solider I mentioned. Jean, I invited Commanders Pixis and Dok to discuss our findings from the recent titan attack. We requested your presence since you and Hange analyzed the evidence earlier.”

“Analyzed the evidence?” Jean questioned back before he felt a distinct jab in his back as Levi came around the other side of him. “Yes, the evidence. What would you like to discuss?”

“We were going over the data and were hoping you two could enlighten us on the final results.”

“Yes, sir.” Jean agreed as his body stiffened up. He remained silent a bit longer than he should have before Hange spoke up.

“Well, based off the census data on the villagers from Ragako as well as the lack of a breach of any walls we presume the titans originated from there. The number of titans reports matches the number of missing villagers from there, as well as the fact we were able to recover an immobilized titan from there too.”

Dot Pixis quirked an eyebrow as Nikes Dok asked the obvious question. “An immobilized titan?”

“Yes, a titan was found inside a building but its arms and legs were too thin to support its weight. It’s currently at our titan facility under going research. Its existence is unusual to say the least,” Hange admitted. Hange rubbed their chin as they thought more about it.

“Considering the evidence we have available,” Jean began, earning the curious stares of those around him, “We believe the titans we fought to be the villagers from Ragako.”

Both commanders’ eyes widened from surprise. Commander Pixis kept his mouth shut but Commander Dok immediately turned to Erwin.

“Is this true?! How can we be certain?” Niles demanded to know.

“It’s one of the only plausible explanations for how titans got behind Wall Rose without breaching it. We’re still looking for other theories but this is the soundest one we have. It’s why I called you gentlemen out here. Do you have any other information that could help us?”

Niles shook his head while Commander Pixis twisted the edge of his mustache. “I heard from my troops that a Survey Corps scout returned from Wall Maria territory as soon as the attacks began but he sped off just as soon as the news arrived. The timing seems odd but it’s one of the few things that I heard.”

“That was Jean actually,” Erwin explained to those around them. Jean’s muscles tightened as Erwin called him out in front of those in the room. “We had sent him on a recovery mission and he returned in time to help rescue the soldier stranded at Castle Utgard.”

“Ah, well done soldier. I’m unaware of many other soldiers besides Levi that could survive in Wall Maria territory with little support,” Commander Pixis complimented.

“Part of his mission involved retrieving supplies from a caravan that went missing from Trost shortly after the battle took place years ago. Among the equipment he recovered was this interesting piece of technology I wished to share with you two. Have you seen anything like this before?”

Jean tilted his head towards Hange with a questioning look but they merely shrugged back at him. A swift jab in his side from Levi had him straightening back up to face the commanders. He watched as Erwin placed a pistol on the table, Jean’s pistol.

Jean’s stomach sunk as his personal sidearm from his battles with Marley was being inspected by the heads of the military branches. Erwin had a sly grin on his face when his eyes met Jean’s. The impromptu staring contest between the two ended with Jean averting his eyes towards the gun. Commander Pixis picked up the gun, flipping it around in his hands. Eventually he figured out how to open the cylinder with the six bullets still in it.

After Commander Dok finished analyzing the weapon, he simply shrugged. “I’ve never seen such a gun before in my life. It’s clearly a gun but I’ve never seen a pistol fire more than one shot at once.”

“Same,” Commander Pixis agreed.

“I see,” Erwin clasped his hands together before staring intently at Jean. “In any case our labs are going to reverse engineer it to understand how it works. If someone were to get their hand on a shipment of these they’d be quite formidable.”

“But they are useless against titans. Why would someone need such a gun besides for attacking civilians?” Niles seemed shocked by the thought.

“Good question, I was curious about that myself,” Erwin replied while keeping his piercing gaze locked on Jean. “Either way, it might lead into new innovations for the military for fighting crime. I’ll pass our findings on once we thoroughly understand it. For now, please keep this between us.”

Commander Pixis nodded before getting up. Commander Dok stared in between the two men before standing up as well. “Why not tell Commander Zackley?”

“He’ll find out soon, I just wished to share it with you two before then.”

Commander Pixis watched as Commander Dok frown for a moment until he let out a hum in agreement. The two men said their parting words to Erwin. Jean stepped to the wide with the other two captains to allow the other commanders to leave. Once the office was cleared of all non-Survey Corps people, Erwin gestured to the unoccupied chairs for Jean and the others. Nervously, Jean shuffled over and sat across from Erwin.

“I can explain,” Jean started but a hand from Erwin caused him to pause.

“Nothing to explain. My test is done,” Erwin frowned as he picked up the gun and observed it himself. “I was curious if any of the other branches were aware of such a technology and I got my answer. So either your farfetched story is true or…”

“You’re a genius who’s mental,” Levi finished.

“And your cadet profile seems to disprove the latter,” Erwin believed.

While Jean frowned at the backhanded compliment, he nodded.

“So this gun coupled with your fighting abilities prove you fight humans. Which begs another question,” Levi said as he glared at Jean.

“Are you part of the secret police?” Hange asked, catching Jean of guard.

“What? No!” Jean’s face fell as he began to analyze that theory. Butterflies began fluttering in his stomach as he tried to picture the evidence from their view. Things definitely did not look good for him though. “You guys actually know about the secret military police branch?”

Levi and Hange’s eyes widened for a moment as one of Erwin’s thick eyebrows quirked up. “So they do exist.”

Levi swiftly pulled a knife from his pocket and aimed it at Jean. “Are you the spy?”

“No!” Jean tried to defend himself.

“Stand down, Levi. A dead man can’t be a spy,” Erwin didn’t believe. 

Jean relaxed a little bit know that, especially after Levi dropped his knife. “You’re right. Otherwise he’s be a shitty spy revealing himself like that.”

Despite the obvious insult, Jean gave little care considering the danger he perceived himself to be in. “Why ask me that if you knew I wasn’t?”

“I wanted to see if they existed or not,” Erwin shrugged.

“If you wanted to know you could just ask. I don’t think everything that happened in my world is the same as here but I can tell you what I know if you think it’d help.”

“Hange has made me aware of that but I’d rather we figure things out here since a lot seems to be different,” Erwin informed him. “The theory about this secret military police was just speculation since any titans we manage to capture inadvertently escape or die. It’s seemed very suspicious but we’ve never had solid proof.”

“Well they existed in my world but they only arrived after it became apparent we had something of theirs that we needed.”

“I see. Well that is all for now. I ask that you refrain from informing anyone else of this development while we research this in secret. You’re dismissed.”

Jean nodded. Quickly, he got to his feet and readied himself to leave. A tug at his sleeve from Hange stopped his departure though. “I might need your help in the foreseeable future to test some more theories. Care to help?”

“Yes, sir.” Jean agreed, although inside his nerves began firing. Helping Hange with experiments was the fastest way to injury and alcoholism but he was in no position to deny them help.

“Thank you,” Hange smiled as they released Jean.

He exited the office and was relieved to find the hallway empty. Jean only made it a few shaky steps before collapsing onto the floor as his feet gave out. Did they really trust him, or was he simply a tool to achieve their goals? Probably only the latter that this rate. With little choice but to earn their trust over time, Jean retreated back to his room to rest. Adjusting to the new world was not going to be as easy as he was hoping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Jean and Marco in a canon setting is something I never knew I wanted until I tried it. That whole scene had me kind of sad until the little ball of sunshine that is Marco Bodt started being himself and got me cackling. I hope you all enjoyed the fluff he brings because there's going to be more of it to come as we explore more of who he is and how he grew without his best friend. Next week we get a glimpse into Jean's dreams (aka his nightmares) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, reblogs, likes, and messages on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22) are appreciated and loved! Feedback gives me life~


	4. Would You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite Trost being so long ago, Jean remembers more of that day than he care to admits. When a nightmare forces him to confront the fact that Marco is actually still alive he finally makes peace with the fact that he does have a second chance to be near his best friend. At least until the others catch wind of his stories and demand to know about their mirror halves. And Eren finally gets some revenge for his humiliation at Jean's hands the day before.

_“Why Jean?”_

_Ignoring the ghastly voice, Jean walked through the battered streets of Trost. Rubble, splintered wood, and demolished houses lined his path as he walked towards the same destination; the one place he could never seem to escape. The thunderous footsteps of titans echoed around the ruined city accompanied by a chorus of screams and anguish. Completing the assault on Jean’s senses, the aroma of death, decay, and burning flesh trapped Jean in a constant reminder of the battle around him._

_“This isn’t what we wanted…”_

_Jean pressed his eyes shut as he trudged through the demolished town, his boots sloshing in a puddle of someone’s blood and organs. He buried his nose and mouth in the crevice of left arm near his elbow in a vain attempt to protect himself. However, the disgusting scents were already burned into his nose and memory. A sharp scream forced Jean’s eyes open, making him spin on his heels. In the distance he could see the outline of a titan with long brown hair, the Attack titan. The moment was brief but powerful. A person squirmed in its clutches for only a few moments until the titan’s jaw bit off their head. A strong breeze swept through the area. From the person’s fresh corpse a crimson scarf flew over Trost._

_“You were supposed to be safe. Away from this!”_

_Suddenly someone grasped his right shoulder, making Jean want to jump out of his skin. He tried to spin back around, but only managed to tangle his boots together and successfully knock himself on his ass in a puddle of human remains. Jean dared to look up to see who grabbed him. Staring down on him with cold judgement in his eyes was Marco._

_“I’m sorry,” Jean muttered, terrified of his best friend’s displeased appearance ._

_“Sorry? You’re sorry? You were supposed to join the Military Police, a safe and comfortable life. That’s what we worked for!” Marco scolded Jean, anger simmering in his voice._

_Jean trembled as Marco’s incendiary tone seemed to affect his body was well. Steam emerged from Marco’s right half, slowly overcoming his torso and part of his face. Dread filled Jean’s head when he heard skin crackling in front of him._

_“Don’t make me regret my choice, Marco! It’s hard enough as is!” Jean replied, only a few steps away from breaking down._

_Upon hearing his plea, Marco’s expression softened along with the sounds. The steam seemed to cool off, revealing missing bone and hanging flesh around his face. Exactly like when Jean found him in Trost. Marco knelt down near Jean with pity in his eye. A tear formed in the corner of it._

_“Regret, Jean? What’s there to regret? You’re already as good as dead…” Marco quietly informed Jean, silencing the screams and titans around them. The steam from Marco’s body cooled further, only further showing more decay and rot from Marco’s torso. While his hand was still steaming, Marco caressed the left side of Jean’s face. Jean screamed from the burning pain until Marco’s hand vanished with the cloud._

_Jean immediately tried to grasp his face with his left arm but found no responsiveness. His right hand went to feel the pain, only to slip right through the sensation and his face._

_“What did you do?” Jean questioned as Marco pushed himself to his feet. As Marco raised himself from the ground, his right side slowly faded back in but the pity never left his face. When Marco stood upright, Jean noticed the symbol on his jacket changed from that of a recruit to the Survey Corps._

_“I’ll honor you Jean, just as you honored me,” Marco sighed before turning around to leave._

_“No!” Jean yelled but it fell on deaf ears. He tried to get to his feet but found his body unresponsive. He could simply turn his head to see his reflection in a broken window nearby. His blood ran ice cold when he saw himself laying there without a chunk on the left side of his body. Muscle and splintered bone replaced the left half of face. His torso..._

“No!” Jean shouted as he sat up in his bed, sweat drenching his body. He ran a cold hand through his damp hair as his heavy breathing steadied. His eyes darted around the room as he processed what he had seen in his dream, trying to remind himself that it was only a vision in his head. Everything was fine, he was fine. Hell, Marco was fine. Right?

He got to his feet, not bothering to throw on a shirt on his way to the door. Quickly but quietly he tiptoed down the corridor into the hallway where the other Levi squad members slept. Carefully, he pushed the wooden door open with a loud creak. He cringed from the sound. Thankfully no one seemed to wake up though. He snuck into the room and cautiously stepped towards Marco.

Through the darkness Jean could see Marco’s resting face, peacefully asleep. His serene expression helped steady Jean’s rapidly beating heart. 

_“Marco is here. Marco is alright.”_ Jean mentally chided himself.

Jean’s own face relaxed, now choosing instead to scrutinize his sleeping friend. The messy nest of bedhead, the drool in the corner of his mouth probably soaking his pillow, and occasional unattractive snore. It really was the same Marco he trained, befriended, and slept alongside so many years ago. A gentle smile replaced the unsure frown from before. Jean’s hand reached out for Marco but he stopped himself halfway, afraid to touch and taint what he considered a precious memory.

Just as quietly as he entered, Jean retreated back to the doorway content with his findings. A few floorboards creaked on his way out but none were loud enough to stir the others from their slumber. Right when he reached the doorway, a hand shot out from behind it and pulled Jean roughly through it. Another hand immediately covered his mouth while he was forced harshly against the wall opposite of the entrance to the rooms with the other 104th trainees.

Jean’s eyes tried to find who had grabbed and pinned him, and unsurprisingly a pair of pointed eyes glared at him through the darkness.

“What were you doing in there?” Levi demanded to know.

Jean tried to give an answer but Levi’s hand muffled any response. Levi narrowed his eyes before pulling his hand back.

“Just checking on them,” Jean replied softly.

“No shit,” Levi rolled his eyes, clearly not content with the response. “I want to know why you were creeping on my soldiers in the dead of night like some stalker.”

Jean flinched from the harsh words. While thoroughly embarrassing, he saw little choice but to tell Levi the truth. “I had a nightmare.”

Levi’s piercing gaze softened for a moment. “A nightmare?”

“Yes, a nightmare. I had to make sure they were all still there. _He_ was still there.”

The force holding Jean against the wall faded as Levi eased off of him. Still giving Jean a questioning look, Levi resumed his usual scowl. “So you were that hideous shriek I heard then.”

“Y-yeah…” Jean admitted, slowly scratching the back of his head.

Seemingly content with the answer, Levi gave Jean one last go once over before turning to leave. “Try not to wake me again. And don’t let me catch you spying on my squad again, nightmare or not.”

“Yes, sir. But captain?” Jean dared to continue the conversation.

“Hm?” Levi glanced over his shoulder with a clearly disinterested look.

“You don’t need to lie to me. I know you don’t sleep. You see _them_ like I see him.” Jean frowned, unable to meet Levi’s momentarily surprised face.

There was a brief pause before Levi replied. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Following Levi’s advice Jean tried to return to his room and rest but any trace of tiredness vanished after his earlier rude awakening. Instead, Jean pondered more about the world around him. Was it worth trying to survive here and fight all over again? He already dealt with the troubles that seemingly plagued the Survey Corps. He was practically back at square one by being here. The very thought of experiencing all the death, battles, and trauma to get to the Survey Corps back to the same place as his chilled Jean to the bone.

“Is it worth it?” He muttered to himself from the small comfort of his bed. When his mind wandered to the memories of the last few days: eating with the 104th trainees again, knowing that all of them were alive and yet to be betrayed, and most importantly, Marco’s sleeping face; he knew his answer.

\---

Breakfast came as a blur to Jean. Despite believing himself to be rested, his sluggish movements and inability to pay attention to any of the conversations around him told a different story. He finally joined the Survey Corps for a meal but he opted to sit at the end of a table by himself. If sthe others tried to engage him he never replied. He simply nibbled on some bread as the others remained quite lively around him. Jean couldn’t quite shake the feeling that someone was watching him. Rather than try to find out who, Jean preserved his energy in favor of reflecting on his lack of sleep.

From the middle of the table Jean could make out Connie and Sasha’s voices excitedly bragging about something. Between Jean and them sat Bertl, Reiner, Ymir, and Historia. They all seemed enthralled with whatever the two class clowns were telling. On the other side of the table sat the Shinganshina trio and Marco, also equally enraptured with Connie and Sasha.

“I don’t believe you,” Ymir stated.

“But we were totally like ‘whoosh’ and ‘bam’ and we helped take it down!” Connie defended himself. “At least that’s how I imagined it. Jean didn’t give specifics.”

“Hey, Kirschtein. Kirschtein!” Ymir all but yelled to get his attention. She succeeded in snapping him out of his drowsy thoughts.

“Huh?” He tilted his head towards the others. All eyes were on him for some reason.

“Did these two idiots really take down the Armored titan in your world?”

That question woke him up relatively quickly. So much for keeping things private. With little choice he shook his head.

“They assisted with me. The credit for the takedown went to Mikasa,” Jean corrected, much to the chagrin of Connie and Sasha. Ymir threw a fist up in victory. Down on the other end of the table, Mikasa seemed genuinely surprised by the information, and the same went for her two closest friends.

“Knew it! But how did she take it out? I heard the hide is impenetrable,” Ymir wondered.

“It’s skin is the same as any other titan, it’s the hardened parts that are all but impossible to cut through. A powerful enough round, an explosion, or shrapnel flying fast enough can cut into it. But we did it without any of that,” Jean grinned as he fondly recalled the pride of being able to say he helped defeat Reiner.

“Then how the hell did you do it?”

“Connie, Sasha, and I distracted him until Mikasa surprised him and cut him out by flying into his mouth. The inside is just as tender as any other titan. She easily found the nape and removed him from it,” Jean recalled, only withholding some information. “I can’t stress how important it was that we distracted him to give her the chance. Heck, Sasha got stabbed by a house.”

“I was stabbed by a house?! What does that even mean?” Sasha seemed just as curious as she was excited by the thought.

“Take it however you want,” Jean shrugged, preferring to leave it unclear.

“What were the rest of us doing when you did this? Was this when you retook Shinganshina?” Historia wondered.

Jean’s stomach dropped as he realized the hole he accidentally dug himself into. He could explain half the people, but the traitors and the dead were a lot harder to explain.

“Historia guarded the cavalry with Ymir, Eren and Armin defeated the Colossal titan, and…” Jean’s eyes fell to the table as he couldn’t think of any excuses for the others.

“Ooh, what did I do? Did I beat a shifter?” Reiner seemed pumped to know his role. Even Bertl’s curious eyes betrayed his silence. Marco also smiled widely at the other end of the table.

“You two,” Jean pointed at Reiner and Bertl with a frown. “Were the Armored and Colossal titans in my world.”

The conversation at the table died immediately at that revelation. Suddenly the eyes were on those two as the trainees stared suspiciously at them.

“W-what?” Bertl finally asked back.

“But I know you’re not them here. Well, Reiner at least if he’s the Attack titan. That was Jaeger’s titan.”

Next the eyes fell to Eren as he started choking on his bread.

“What?! I was a shifter?” He seemed shocked by the very thought.

“It’s the only way your suicidal ass made it through all the battles. Captain Levi called you a freaky reptile because of the amount of limbs you went through.” Jean shrugged. The tense air around the table did little quell the idea that revealing all this was a bad idea but he couldn’t bring himself to hide the truth from them. Well, all of the truth. “And I’m saying this not because you guys are shifters. I’ve seen little proof of it and I know the roles are changed here. Enough things changed that I don’t trust my knowledge. That said, our class had half the shifters I met.”

“Who?” Armin wondered, barely audible to Jean due to his distance from Jean.

Taking a breath and a moment to count them on his fingers, Jean recited what he knew. “Reiner, Eren, Ymir, Annie, and Bertholdt plus Armin for sharing.”

A bunch of eyebrows raised at that last statement.

“How- how many titan shifters are there? And what do you mean sharing?”

“If your world has the same rules as mine, nine.”

Everyone’s eyes bounced from person to person as they analyzed the answers given by Jean.

Bertl crossed his arms while he bit his lip. “Y-you didn’t answer Armin’s question. The sharing part.”

“Armin inherited your powers when he defeated you.” Jean answered simply, really not wanting to discuss the manner or the circumstances that surrounded it.

“The powers can be transferred?” Bertl pondered aloud.

“Yes, otherwise they are lost upon death and some random person inherits it. The magic behind the titan powers is convoluted at best,” Jean admited as he finally bit into his stale loaf of bread.

He counted his blessings when no one inquired about transferring powers between people. His blessings fell very short when those who were mum began to whisper among themselves to try and break the icy tension Jean created. He really shouldn’t have been surprised when it was Eren who took it upon himself to break the ice.

“One thing has bothered me since you arrived, Kirschtein,” Eren’s tone got accusatory very fast.

“Besides the undead part?” Reiner chuckled, somehow finding humor in the awkward situation.

“Besides that. And not just trusting you. We have to believe everything you say since no one can vouch for you.”

“That’s what happens when you get blasted into a new world with nothing but your horse,” Jean rolled his eyes, quite unsure when this train of thought was going.

“I always wondered, why did you arrive wearing a Survey Corps uniform? I thought you wanted to go into the Military Police after you graduated.”

Jean paused as that question struck a chord in him. _That_ was the last thing he wanted to talk about right now. What Eren lacked in fighting skill he seemed to make up for in perception since even he seemed to notice his words prickled Jean.

“Eren, that’s assuming that was his goal in his world,” Armin contributed to the line of thought. “But I was curious myself. From what I gather, and from what we’ve seen you’re very much like our Jean.”

“Not true! He actually can talk to people and is nicer.” Sasha defended Jean, much to his surprise.

“I’m not saying he’s mean, I’m saying his goals might’ve been the same.”

“Trost changed a lot of things in my world like it did for you all,” Jean replied as he stood up. “Now if you need me, I’m going to do my chores.”

The unsatisfactory reply got those at the table squabbling but Jean easily avoided them by taking his dishes back to the kitchen. Rather than head back to the hall, Jean retreated to his room. He sat in one of the wooden chairs the Survey Corps used to watch him while he recovered. To try and calm his busy thoughts, Jean counted backwards in his head to distract himself. The creaking of the door alerted him someone else had joined him.

“Jean?” Armin hesitantly called out. Brave enough to ask for Jean but not brave enough to enter the room.

Jean turned around to look at Armin. Armin flinched when he saw him, leaving Jean curious if something was on his face.

“Yes?”

Clearing his throat, Armin strolled into the room. He carefully shut the door behind him as he spoke. “Sorry if that hit a nerve. Eren’s been bickering about you since you arrived and I think our curiosity got the best of us. You didn’t seem all too comfortable talking about your world…”

“Contrary to how I talk about it, it’s not all sunshine and roses over there. To achieve our goals it cost so many lives.”

“Including Marco?” Armin ventured a guess.

Jean didn’t reply initially, instead bringing his eyes to the ground. “Good guess.”

“It wasn’t that hard based off your reactions around him. You two look at each other the same way. I’m guessing one of the differences in your world was who died at Trost.”

Armin crept closer to Jean until he sat in another empty chair. He studied Jean’s reactions to gauge a proper answer in case Jean refused to speak.

“You’ve always been very perceptive. Yes, I found him after the battle and that… it devastated me.”

“And then you ultimately chose to join the Survey Corps. Marco did the same here.”

Jean slowly nodded his head. “Yeah. His death was a mystery and I mourned. I lost my best friend.”

“I’m sorry… we didn’t know.”

Jean shook his head. “You guys have no reason to know it. It’s something I prefer to leave buried but every day I have to fight it here. It feels… weird.”

“I think he feels the same, but I think you’re missing a golden opportunity.” Armin leaned back in the chair to look at the ceiling, crossing his arms over his chest.

That comment piqued Jean’s interest. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Armin began as he faced Jean once more. “You both have regretted it for so long but now there is an impossible chance to reconnect. You might not see it but Marco’s been himself the most the last three days than he’s been in the last six years. I have no doubt you have everything to do with that.”

“Yeah but-”

“No buts. Talk to him, hang out with him, be yourself. This world may not be at the same place yours was at but there is one major difference that sets us apart from yours.”

Armin stood back up and walked towards the door to leave. Jean scowled as Armin left him hanging. “And that is?”

“I know you know it,” Armin teased back. Armin Arlert actually teased Jean Kirschtein. “If given the option to trade the entire world for a chance to even see Marco again, would you? Because we both know what his reply would be for seeing you again. The only difference is that you’re the one who made the sacrifice. And that isn’t lost on Marco.”

Jean opened his mouth but no words came out at first. He closed it and chuckled lightly at the thoughts Armin fed him. “Thanks for the advice Armin. I hope the me of this world wasn’t a complete dick to you. Contrary to what Jaeger might believe you and me were best friends in my world.”

That last part caused Armin’s eyes to widen a bit. “R-really?”

“Yes. We saved each other’s lives so many times we lost count. I know it’s sudden but I’d like to count you as my good friend here too. It’s hard to find people to debate philosophy with intelligently.”

Armin’s shock faded as a gentle smile came to his face. “Sure, I’d like that chance. Just remember to extend the same courtesy to the others.”

“Already planning on it, even Jaeger.”

“The horse or Eren,” an amused voice asked from the doorway, surprising both Levi squad members in the room. Connie’s grinning face slightly annoyed Jean.

“Eren you asshole. Knock before you enter,” Jean glared.

“There’s the prickly Jean we all know and accept, begrudgingly of course,” Connie laughed.

“Your horse is named after Eren?” Armin seemed more baffled by the thought than Connie’s unannounced entrance.

“What do you want?” Jean glared.

“Levi is making an announcement in the dining, all squad members requested including you two.”

With that Connie’s head disappeared into the hall, leaving Jean slightly annoyed and Armin still puzzled by the equine revelation.

The two quickly left the room to return to the dining hall. Levi waited patiently for Jean and Armin to join the others before he started speaking.

“Congrats, we managed to secure another live titan from the battle at Utgard,” Levi began his announcement unusually cheery. His squad perked up at that news but Jean remained unmoved by the news. “However, Erwin wishes to inspect this unusual titan in person so he’s requested that some of you travel with his squad. Bertholdt, Connie, and Armin will accompany Erwin and four eyes. Prepare to leave in fifteen. Dismissed.”

Jean glanced over at Connie. His bald friend seemed to be oblivious as to where the titans came from. As much as he wanted to preemptively comfort him, Jean didn’t want to interfere with the natural course of events any more than he had at breakfast.

The three squad mates left to gather their belongings, saying goodbye to those who could be considered close friends. Armin spoke with Eren and Mikasa, giggling a bit at something Eren said. Probably a shitty joke. Connie embraced Sasha, hugging far longer than Jean expected. Reiner clasped a hand over Bertl’s and brought him in for a one armed hug.

“See ya when you get back. Take care,” Reiner spoke loud enough for Jean to eavesdrop.

Marco walked behind Bertl and placed a firm grip on his shoulder. “Yeah, be well.”

Bertl smiled at the two and nodded. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

With those last words Bertlholdt turned to leave. Marco waved at him, watching him exit the room. Reiner’s gaze seemed a bit lower compared to Marco’s as he watched Bertl leave. Marco hit Reiner with his elbow to shake Reiner from his thoughts.

Jean shrugged his shoulders at the sight.

\---

Specks of sunlight pierced through the shaky leaves, coloring Jean’s chest with bright dots. He remained laying on his back mindlessly watching the specks dance back and forth on the shirt he borrowed from Marco, moving with the gentle breeze. Birds chirped from other nearby fauna but Jean didn’t give them an iota of attention. He focused his eyes on his shirt. All the peace and quiet around only made him more uncomfortable.

“What’re you doing?” Marco’s voice stirred Jean from his thoughts.

“Huh?” Jean replied, sleep lingering in his voice.

Marco chuckled lightly. Trying to act casual, he leaned a shoulder on the tree and stared down at Jean.

“Napping?” Marco inferred.

“Nah, just thinking.”

“What about?”

Jean’s frown deepened as he debated telling Marco the truth. The nightmare from earlier still tugged at his nerves, and he felt Marco deserved to know the truth about his other half. Even if just for Jean to get it off his chest.

“My home,” Jean answered. Mentally he scolded himself for not elaborating futher.

“Ah, I see,” Marco’s tone became tinged with sorrow. “I… I wanted to apologize for pushing you earlier. The others and I didn’t have the right to pry. We should’ve known-“

“Don’t apologize, I need to accept the fact that I’m not there anymore. You of all people don’t need to apologize to me.”

Jean wouldn’t have Marco apologizing to him. He already had his shirts on top of causing him distress from seeing his dead best friend rise from the grave.

Marco’s face seemed to recover some of its former happiness at that statement. “Well, still.”

“Hush, no more sorry’s. Now, what brings you here to this tree? We’re kind of far from the barracks.”

Marco’s face reddened a bit at Jean’s comment. He cleared his throat as glanced at Jean’s shirt.

“Well, I had a somewhat personal question to ask you.”

Jean quirked an eyebrow when Marco started chewing on his lower lip. His heart pounded louder in his chest as his mind raced with all the questions Marco could try to ask him.

“Wh-what is it?” Jean’s voiced cracked, much to Jean’s chagrin. Thankfully Marco didn’t seem to notice it.

“So I know that you earned my trust if you know about my… birthmark,” Marco gestured with his head towards his left side. Jean nodded his head slowly in response. “I was wondering… how close were we in your world?”

Jean couldn’t miss the hopeful tone in Marco’s question. His scowl flipped into a tiny smile as he tried to recall the pleasant memories from their cadet days. “The bestest of friends.”

Marco’s eyes popped for a moment. “H-how so?”

“Uh let’s see. Reiner had Bertholdt and Annie, Eren had Armin and Mikasa, Ymir had Historia, Connie had Sasha, and I had you. Throughout training we stuck by each other through thick and thin.”

Glancing towards the sky Marco pondered Jean’s words for a moment. He made a small noise as he processed them.

“What about after Trost? Did I join the Survey Corps with you?”

That question froze Jean’s smile in place along with his blood. He did his best to contain his shock but the worried look that crossed Marco’s face signaled that Jean failed miserably.

“No. You decided to follow your dream and join the Military Police to guard the king. I… I wanted to fight for humanity after Eren gave a rousing speech during the battle.” Jean lied.

Hurt was written plainly on Marco’s face once he heard that. His smile fell.

“Oh. I see. Were you and Eren close then? I mean you named your horse after him so I guess you two were good friends.”

“As if,” Jean dismissed with a roll of his eyes. Marco’s disposition improved marginally at that comment. “We worked together but close friends is pushing it. I respect his strength and determination but we had no choice but to. I didn’t name my horse after him to honor him. Quite the opposite. He was pissed off when he found out.”

The memory of an equally puzzled yet steaming Eren brought a wide grin to Jean’s face. Marco returned to a more confused look when he heard that reply. Before Jean could elaborate anymore, a dust cloud on the horizon drew their attention.

Jean pushed himself off the ground with his elbows, squinting his eyes to get a better look at the source of the dust. Through the mess he saw a lone soldier making a beeline for the barracks.

“Who’s that?” Marco wondered as he observed the new soldier.

“I was gonna ask you that,” Jean said.

When the soldier took notice of them, he switched directions and galloped towards the two Survey Corps scouts. Jean eagerly stood up, patting the dirt off his backside and shirt. He waited for the panicked man to approach them. His mouth had just opened when the unknown soldier shouted at them.

“Titans! Titans raining down on the wall!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor traumatized Jean. I had more fun writing that dream sequence than I care to admit but I hope you're all excited for the next chapter because we get a return to the titans and more shifters will appear. Its also going to be the first non-canon thing Jean will experience so his assumptions of this world will once again be challenged. Also the next update will likely be two weeks away because my free time is officially dying for the next few days but the chapter the following week should be slightly longer to make-up for it. Thanks for the patience!
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, reblogs, likes, and messages on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22) are appreciated and treasured! The speculation going on in the comments last time was also amusing to read and a lot of you are very perceptive so bonus points to Flaria and Lordofdeathn!


	5. A New Challenger Appears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Levi's Squad race to fight off a new assault by the Beast. But after coming close to losing Marco and getting face to face with the Beast titan shifter, another shifter is forced to appear to save a close friend with Jean is caught in the crossfire.

Peace truly was a brief experience for those in the Survey Corps and the citizens trapped within the walls. When Jean learned the truth of the world outside the walls he was neither excited nor jumping for joy. Sure the world appeared beautiful and open, but the unexpected vast and blue fourth wall around the island served as a dual reminder. The Eldians were on the island for their own good, safe from the horrors of a world prejudiced against them and their curse. Breaking out of the three inner walls simply ended any notion of peace that might exist for them.

At least that’s what Jean thought. Being trapped in the walls gave a vague form of security and a false sense of control over their conflicts. With the exceptions of the titan shifters, the Survey Corps and humanity were able to pick their own battles. That was the argument half of the population of the walls argued when the new government announced plans to secure their own place in the world.

As Jean rode into upcoming conflict, just after achieving victory at Utgard, he was reminded of those paper-thin arguments. Humanity, the Eldians, never had any control over their conflicts. They were always subject to the battles of others. And he was a fool for getting comfy these last few days and thinking everything would be quiet for a while.

“Undead guy!” Levi’s voice called out over the sounds of the horses charging to their next fight.

“Yes, sir?” Jean glanced over to the squad commander. While it was tempting not to respond, Jean decided against the thought.

“Did titans fly in your world?”

Jean bit his lip as he recalled the war in his world. Titans falling from the sky was definitely a tactic used by Marley but that wasn’t until late into the war. “No, the only walked on land.”

“Hm…” Levi’s perplexed faced summed up everyone’s understanding of the current situation.

If it were raining titans there should’ve been large balloons in the air to drop them. Jean scanned the horizon but saw no such machines.

“Did any of the shifters have the ability to fly?” Marco asked next.

“Nope. A lot were very acrobatic but none were able to fly.”

The Survey Corps had immediately launched towards the titans after that lone soldier arrived at the barracks earlier, yet no titan was seen in the sky or heard on the ground. Without Erwin or his squad Levi had little choice but to dispatch the same soldier north to alert the rest of the Survey Corps.

Just as Jean was about to glance towards Marco, a large shadow was seen being lobbed over the wall like a sack of potatoes. It spun gracelessly in the air but there was no mistaking the shape. Albeit on the smaller side, Jean had no doubt it was a titan. Was something chucking it over the wall?

A loud thud sent dirt rising into the air around the base of the wall.

“Not exactly rain but I guess that’ll do,” Reiner commented with a frown.

As the soldiers approached the impact zone, more dull thuds were heard echoing nearby. Trees dotted this part of the terrain, successfully concealing the sources of the sounds but the veterans knew. Those low rumblings were etched into their minds. The only question was how many.

“Keep an eye out for any falling shitheads and slay the walking ones. The Garrison was in charge of this area after we left so let’s back them up until the rest of the corps arrive,” Levi ordered. His squad nodded as they rode into the last line of trees.

As they emerged from the brush, the sight ahead sunk their hearts. Numerous craters were scattered the landscape along with numerous bodies and titans. Many of the Garrison soldiers were still fighting valiantly but the cost to hold off the attackers could easily be estimated form the number of horses running loose. To make matters worse, several squads were stranded on various buildings around the plains. The lack of buildings and trees clearly favored the lumbering titans.

The titans themselves carried the wounds of their travels. All the titans were on the smaller side and definitely misshapen. Some walked with smashed heads, broken limbs, or even missing parts of their body. The sight stirred Jean’s breakfast but he kept it down.

“Sir, what should we do about the soldiers?” Marco questioned.

Levi scowled as he glanced around the battlefield.

“Save who you can. Mikasa take Jaeger and Braus to the nearest group. Bodt, take Braun and your undead friend to the next. Lenz and Reiss with me!”

Jean shot Levi one last glare before the horses split into three parties. Traveling alongside Reiner rubbed Jean the wrong way but he suppressed his desire to attack the blond giant. They weren’t in his world anymore.

“Jean, Reiner. To the farm house. Don’t use your powers unless necessary, ok?” Marco said, earning a nod from Reiner.

Biting his tongue, Jean merely hummed in agreement. Not that the sounds could be heard over the horses.

Approaching one of the many farms that dotted this part of the region, the three guys saw several titans already trying to climb onto the ruined house. Only two soldiers were seen on the nearby silo while another rolled to the other side of the roof. Part of the house collapsed underneath the weight of the titan. To make matters worse, another swarm of titans were coming from their left.

“Marco!” Jean shouted, causing his squad leader to look back. “Can you and Reiner handle the titans by the farmhouse yourselves?”

“What? Why?” Marco questioned back.

“Of course,” Reiner proudly stated.

“Alright, I leave those to you. I’ll head off the oncoming titans,” Jean said as he pulled Jaeger’s reins toward the other titans.

“What? That’s crazy!” Marco disagreed, but it was already too late.

Jean broke rank, speeding towards the five titans quickly approaching. Despite being small and misshaped, that seemingly did little to quell the monsters’ desire for human flesh. A quick analysis showed that two of the titans were crawling while the other three slowly towered towards small house. Those would be the first of Jean’s victims.

Marco’s concerned shouts could be heard but they fell on deaf ears. Jean steered Jaeger towards the outermost lumbering titan, hoping for an easy kill. By the time the titans realized they were being intercepted it was too late. Jaeger sprinted straight at the group. Allowing his horse’s momentum to carry him, Jean fired a hook into the neck of the tallest titan. He flew in front of the group and caught their attention finally. Jean managed to swing over the smaller titans and sent his other hook into the neck of the same titan. His 3DMG propelled him back towards his first victim. The titan was unable to protect its nape from being cut.

Jaeger navigated out of the way of the titans as they hobbled to a stop, now trying to catch the human buzzing around their heads. Jean stayed on the first titan as it fell to the ground, mentally determining the safest route to remove another of the titans. One had its head caved in far enough that it had no eye while the other’s right arm looked broken beyond repair. The two crawling would be easy pickings after the other two fell. Leveraging their injuries, Jean anchored his gear into the broken shoulder of one and used the 3DMG to launch himself past its one good arm. It tried to claw for him but Jean was out of its short reach. He flew past its head before spinning back around to fire his 3DMG into its neck. From that vantage point it was another kill.

The last titan proved easier than Jean anticipated, eagerly stumbling towards him. It tumbled directly into its newly slain comrade. Jean shot both anchors into its deformed cranium in hopes of latching onto something. He rocketed right at its face as it fell forward, pushing himself over the titan as it fell into a heap from its shotty tumble. It almost wasn’t worth the gas needed to finish it off but Jean took no risks.

The two crawling on the ground were just as simple as Jean expected them to be. They crawled on their stomachs, both their legs shattered beyond repair or recognition. Neither even turned over to even try and fight Jean while he cut their napes.

As Jean rested on the back of a steaming corpse for a quick breather, he noticed his two partners fighting the titans around the farmhouse. The structure was definitely more rubble than house at this point. At least the silo with the other two soldiers seemed to be intact. Not wanting to leave his squad alone for too long, Jean whistled for Jaeger. His horse quickly returned and soon they were flying towards the farmhouse.

Just as they got within shouting distance, a dark shadow blocked out the sunlight shining on Jean.

“What the?” Jean commented as he looked towards the sky. His blood froze in his veins as he spotted the source of this disaster. Perched atop the wall like a falcon with prey in its talons sat the Beast titan. In its grasp wriggled another smaller titan. That explained how the titans got over the wall at least.

Jean glared at the titan as it observed the battlefield below. A face-splitting grin formed on his face, seemingly content with the damage he caused. When he noticed the farmhouse below, his grin dropped for a second. Jean’s eyes slowly widened, watching helplessly. The Beast titan pulled his hand back just as Jean reached the farmhouse.

“Look out!” Jean yelled as loud as he could, launching his 3DMG into the silo where Marco and the other two survivors sat. They glanced at him before glancing up, but by then it was too late. The small titan rocketed directly at them. Reiner looked up too late as the shadow over the farmhouse grew. Jean grabbed the nearest body as he propelled himself by the silo, just as the sound of the smaller titan became deafening.

The explosion of dirt, shrapnel, and searing flesh from the impact collided with Jean midair. It pushed him into a nearby tree. Countless branches scratched him, breaking his fall. He fell like a ragdoll through the tree clutching whoever he caught. He would’ve hit the ground with a thud if his uniform and straps didn’t get tangled in a branch. His body suddenly stopped but the force of the fall carried the person he saved further down and onto the ground with a sickening thud.

Jean momentarily blacked out. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, forcing him back to consciousness. He felt a trickle of liquid down his face, dripping off his nose and landing with a splatter on the body below. It took a few seconds for Jean to regain full control of his faculties. Panic seized him through as he stared at the person below him. All he could see was a mop of unmoving black hair. He struggled around for a bit, hearing some tearing and wood snapping yet he didn’t budge. With little options, Jean reached for a blade from his gear and tried chopping around him. It took some effort and time but eventually he broke loose. He landed on his feet next to the person on the ground. A groan from the person indicated they were alive.

“Ugh… J-Jean is that you?” a disoriented Marco spoke, his words slurred.

“Yes, I’m alive. You’re alive,” Jean quickly informed Marco. He embraced Marco tightly, ignoring his friend’s squirming. He almost lost him again. _He_ almost took him away.

Jean remembered their current situation and stared back at the top of the wall. The Beast titan was nowhere to be seen. He looked back at the farm house, immediately grimacing at the sight. It was a smoldering crater with steam rising from all around it. Carefully, Jean let go of Marco to begin slowly walking towards the rubble. He ignored Marco’s calls for him.

Jaeger wildly ran around the crater until he noticed Jean approaching. He whinnied, trotting towards an edge of the farm. Curious about his horse’s behavior, Jean followed him. The closer he got to the ruins of the farmhouse, the more details Jean noticed. The house was a mixture of splintered wood, broken stone, and human limbs. No bodies could be seen from the distance Jean was at. Once he caught up to Jaeger he found the one intact body. 

“Mmmmm…” Reiner groaned. The big blond was laying on his back like a starfish. But unlike the sea creature most of his limbs were bent into unnatural angles and a piece of timber pierced his shoulder. “Je…n?”

The sickening sight had Jean pressing a hand over his mouth, choking back a wave of nausea. Sure Reiner would recover, but it still was a horrible sight. “Are you alive?”

“Yeah… Hurts…” Reiner replied, his breaths slow and practically wheezing.

“You’re going to hate this,” Jean said as he approached. Reiner didn’t react until Jean grabbed his torso. Jean yanked his body off the timber.

“Argh!” Reiner grunted, coughing some blood onto Jean’s shoulder. He was gently placed back down, a brief reprieve until Jean began the process of forcing his limbs into more natural positions.

Jean ignored his teammate’s shouts and complaints as best he could. Once he finished the process, steam was already rising from Reiner’s wounds. “If you excuse me, I got a bastard to kill.”

Reiner’s pained noises his only reply.

Jean pulled himself onto Jaeger, wincing at the pain in his right arm. He definitely bruised his body again and probably tore his stitches. Despite the pain he whipped the reins for Jaeger to carry him to the wall. The journey was thankfully a short one as the vibrations strained Jean even more. At the wall Jean launched himself up, ignoring some voices from behind him. He reached the top relatively fast.

Jean flew over the top of the wall, reaching a view that allowed him to see the damage. Countless bodies laid strewn about the top of the wall. Looming over one body crouched a shirtless, older man. A quick glance from the person revealed a shifter that made anger pulse through Jean’s body.

“Zeke!” Jean yelled.

The person glanced up with a wicked smile still on his face, the same wicked grin the Beast Titan wore earlier. At least that fact hadn’t changed.

Jean shot an anchor into the ground nearby and pulled himself in, drawing a blade. Zeke reached for a discarded blade and prepared to defend himself. Just as Jean neared him, he finally spoke. “There you are, Jean.”

That comment stunned Jean, interrupting his approach. He crashed straight into the ground. Jean rolled over several times due to his momentum, further aggravating his wounds. He groaned as he felt cold metal pressed against his throat. A pair of cold yet bemused eyes stared straight into his when he found the strength to open them.

“How… how do you know my name?” Jean coughed, his throat pressing dangerously close against the sharpened metal with each breath.

Rather than answer his question, Zeke simply glared. “I thought that was you during the last battle. Now you show yourself. Give me a good reason I shouldn’t kill you right now?”

Jean’s mind raced as he tried to understand what was going on, but the increased pressure on his throat kicked his survival instincts into gear. “Cause I know where the Coordinate is!”

Zeke’s eyes widened, shocked by that unexpected response. He slowly withdrew his weapon, tossing aside as he lifted Jean by his collar. He dragged him over to the edge of the wall.

“Oh, so you found it? Where is it?” His voice was cold but clearly interested. At least the Coordinate still existed in this world.

“One of the people below has it. You risk losing it if you attack us,” Jean warned.

Zeke snorted at the empty threat, “And what if you’re just lying to me. I should take you back with me.”

“Fuck you,” Jean replied. He felt his body slip down as the grip around his neck loosened.

“You’re testing my patience, Jean,” Zeke spoke. Based on his tone, his patience seemed to be gone. “I should return the favor from last week and drop you off here. But I’m better than that. If you’re smart, you’ll follow me out to the forests so we can continue this discussion.”

As Zeke finished his statement the unmistakable sound of 3DMGs hitting the wall echoed skyward. Jean was carelessly tossed aside as Zeke let out a sigh. He walked a few paces before biting his thumb. A brief but intense heat erupted from the top of the wall as the Beast titan formed. It climbed down the wall, leaving Jean grunting from his pain.

Jean wasn’t sure how much time went by until he heard footsteps on the wall. He glanced over to see Eren and Mikasa pulling themselves up. They stared around the bodies until they saw Jean. Both hurriedly approached him once they saw he was alive.

“How are you alive?” Eren asked first. So much for concern.

“Hell if I know,” Jean scowled back. That earned him a deserved glare from Eren.

“Was that the Beast titan?” Mikasa inquired next.

“Yes,” Jean confirmed as he pushed his torso off the ground. More groans around him indicated some others were alive. Why were others alive? “I talked with the bastard. He’s the same shifter as my world.”

“You _talked_ with him and you’re alive?” Eren squinted down at Jean.

“Are you accusing me or something?”

“It’s suspicious.”

A loud groan from a body went ignored by the boys but Mikasa walked over.

“If I wasn’t so injured from saving Marco and Zeke beating me I’d kick your ass,” Jean threatened Eren. That remark killed Eren’s glare instantly. A shocked expression replaced that one.

“Zeke is the Beast titan?” Eren said, disbelief evident in his voice.

Jean’s body froze at those words. Eren knew Zeke?

“How the fuck do you know Zeke?” Jean found himself asking before his brain could process his thoughts.

The color drained from Eren’s face when he realized what Jean just asked. Mikasa’s normally emotionless eyes widened for a moment. But before the conversation could continue, others arrived on top of the wall.

“What’s going on?” Ymir called out as she landed with Historia.

A loud roar interrupted the question, drawing everyone’s attention to the Beast titan in the distance. An even louder groan came from a body across the top of the wall. Jean looked over to see a Garrison shoulder shout as an explosion went off.

Hot steam pushed everyone back, knocking Ymir onto Historia and Eren onto Jean. Rubble and tattered cloaks flew off the wall. Jean cracked an eye to see the source of the explosion. All he heard was a roar until the steam slowly faded. Standing on the wall was a new titan, grasping an unconscious Mikasa in its hand.

“Mikasa!” Jean shouted. He tried to move, but he winced from his injuries.

The new titan brought its victim towards its mouth, earning a venomous remark from Eren.

“ _Don’t you fucking dare!_ ” Eren threatened. His poisonous words did little to stop the mindless beast.

He quickly got to his feet, running towards his sister. In a gesture Jean had seen many times before, Eren brought his hand to his mouth.

“No way…” Jean muttered before another explosion occurred on top of the wall. He covered his eyes as more steam blew past him.

“Fuck!” Ymir cursed as she flew even further back with Historia in her grasp.

Despite being unable to see through the searing mist, loud roars and thuds could be heard. The fight was brief until a loud crack pierced the mist. As it cleared, a new titan stood over the corpse of the one that grabbed Mikasa. She rested in one of its hands as it stared directly at Jean. Through the dissipating cloud Jean found himself face to face with the Armored titan. It was like a playback from Jean’s nightmares except this version of it had long, dark, messy hair.

“Y-Y-you’re the Armored titan?” Jean barely gasped out. Its second hand reached out for Jean, prompting the injured man to protectively cover his face. He found himself quickly stuck in its grasp, unable to move much. “Let me go, Jaeger!”

A loud whinny echoed from down by the wall.

The Armored titan’s only response was steam erupting from its mouth. Without any warning it jumped down from the wall into the wall Maria territory. More shouts could be heard from the top of the wall but they all faded into Jean’s subconscious as he let himself blackout. The forces on the way down were too much for his injured body to sustain consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting this out but life and work have kept me relatively busy. I know this chapter is shorter than the last few but its more dense and has more information about the mirror world that I wanted to get acrossed and absorbed. For those who follow canon, this is the equivalent of when Reiner took Eren and Ymir so next update will be the conclusion and consequences of that.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, reblogs, likes, and messages on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22) are appreciated and greatly improve my day!


	6. Need a Hand?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean awakens to find himself stranded once more in titan infested territory as the result of his new least favorite titan shifter, Eren Jaeger. He quickly learns that things aren't what they appear to be though when small details don't begin to add up and all he can do to survive the upcoming titan battle is trust his gut, and Marco.

Flickering sunlight moved back and forth over Jean’s eyelids. Despite being a minor stimulation, it was enough to stir Jean. He groaned, trying to stretch his aching limbs. His body felt like sludge. However, he found himself unable to move either his arms or his legs. His eyes fluttered open for a few moments as his mind started to race, thinking of reasons he couldn’t move. A strong breeze whipped all the branches around him, forcing him to look beyond his body. He clearly wasn’t indoors and a quick glance sent panic spiking in his body.

Jean was sitting on a branch next to a huge tree trunk. He tried once again to move his limbs but they remained restrained by something beyond his strength. To make matters worse, a rhythmic crashing sound kept booming in the background. As much as Jean wanted to curse his situation, a stale cloth in his mouth gagged any words he wanted to yell. The only audible sounds that escaped were his frustrated grunts.

He dared to peek over next to him, barely able to see the source of the constant crashing. He swiftly learned two important facts. First he learned he was high in the treetops. Then he discovered a titan at the base of the tree jumping up in vain with its arms outstretched, trying to reach him. Goosebumps formed on his skin until he heard the familiar gas expulsions of 3DMG followed by two muffled voices. Jean tried to remember what had happened to him. Only when Eren and Mikasa flew back into view did he recall the events that transpired before he awoke.

A brief glance from Eren had the titan shifter moderately surprised. Even beaten and battered Jean could manage a glare to convey his seething hatred for the current situation. Eren Jaeger, the Armored titan, brought him here and probably tied him up. If he was the Armored titan that meant he was the monster who broke Wall Maria, destroyed much of the Eldian population, and almost condemned Trost to the same fate as Shinganshina. He was the devil responsible for it in this world. Rather than meet Jean’s hate-filled glare, Eren allowed his eyes to spot a branch to land on with Mikasa stopping on one a little further up.

Mikasa’s cold expressionless face met Jean’s. If Eren was the Armored titan, did that mean she was the Female titan and Armin the Colossal titan? Did Reiner, Bertl, and Annie simply trade roles with the Shinganshina trio? The changes in this world were subtle but their impact on events couldn’t have been overstated.

“Stop it,” Eren broke the silence. Either he felt courageous or Jean’s fierce gaze finally got to him. “Stop looking at me with those eyes.”

With little ability to do anything else, Jean kept his eyes trained on Eren. The fucking traitor.

Mikasa took the task upon herself to fly down by Jean. He looked up at her, and unlike her adoptive brother, she met his stare with an equally cold one. She reached down into his mouth to remove the gag.

As tempting as it was to bite down on her hands, Jean couldn’t bring himself to. He immediately started coughing as fresh air entered his throat. Once he regained control of his lungs, Jean reformed his glare. “You jackass.”

“Shut up. This ‘jackass’ just saved your life,” Eren said, rolling his eyes at the person he kidnapped.

“Saved my life?” Jean snorted, well aware of the situation he was in. “You brought me into titan infested territory. One has _literally_ been jumping for me since I woke up you asshole.”

“It can’t reach you.” Eren dismissively waved his hand.

“The point is ‘safe’ is a relative word. I’m not the fucking Armored titan, nor do I have my gear. I’m tied up!” Jean shouted, his body shaking from anger. As if trying to demonstrate his point, he wiggled his body to show how little he could move.

“We didn’t want you running off to your death,” Mikasa said, yet she made no movements to release Jean’s restraints.

“Oh, thanks for your concern,” Jean sarcastically replied.

“Will you shut the fuck up?! We’re here until night and you need to answer my questions,” Eren demanded.

Jean snorted at the thought.

“I don’t need to answer shit. If you wanted to ask me something you could’ve just pulled me aside like a normal person instead of, I don’t know, kidnapping me?!”

“Like you would’ve actually answered them honestly. Anytime I tried you ran off,” Eren narrowed his eyes.

“You asked me one thing! And why would I answer your questions now?” Jean shook his head.

“Because you don’t have a choice.”

“You make a compelling argument. How about no?”

“Pull your head out of your self-righteous ass.”

“Take me back you absolute idiot.”

Mikasa patiently watched the exchange, unmoved by the colorful insults or either boy’s stubbornness. The others definitely would’ve enjoyed the show.

“Not until I get my answers.”

“You ain’t getting shit you armored dick.”

“You think I wanted this curse?” Eren yelled, pointing a thumb at his chest. “I’ve kept this thing under lock and key ever since Trost!”

“Oh boo hoo,” Jean rolled his eyes. Eren Jaeger was getting no sympathy from him. “Poor Jaeger can’t turn into a titan after he destroyed Shinganshina and Trost.”

Eren’s hand fell from his chest and he clenched both of his fists. Through gritted teeth he shouted, “I didn’t do those!”

Jean’s guard dropped for a moment when he heard those words. “Didn’t the Armored titan attack both Shinganshina and Trost in this world?”

“Well yes, but it wasn’t me!” Eren answered.

“Bullshit, there’s only one Armored titan.” Jean steeled himself once more.

“The Armored titan only attacked Shinganshina, where I lived! It took away my mom and Armin’s family. I’ve wanted nothing but to kill all the titans, except I’m stuck with this goddamn curse.”

Jean wasn’t sure how to process that but his fiery hatred for Jaeger didn’t subside. “I should’ve known you couldn’t have survived this long without a titan power. The signs were so obvious.”

“Will you shut the up for one second?”

“No. And if you’re the Armored titan that means Mikasa is the female titan and Armin is the Colossal titan.” Jean deduced.

Mikasa didn’t answer but Eren shook his head. “Leave them out of this.”

“No. And I don’t owe you anything.”

“You owe me for saving your ass atop the wall. Can you just answer one question? How do you get titan powers?”

As much as Jean wanted to ignored Eren that seemed like a very peculiar thing to ask. “You have your power, yet you don’t know how to get them?”

Eren’s fists unclenched as he started to calm down. “No I don’t.”

Either Jaeger was lying, or he was an idiot for not remembering. Either way it seemed like a harmless enough question to answer. “You receive an injection.”

“An injection?” Mikasa quirked an eyebrow.

“Yes, to become like the idiot below us,” Jean gestured with his head. “But to get your powers you need to inherit it from the previous titan shifter.”

“H-H-How do you do that?” Eren’s voice trembled, troubled by the very question he wanted to know.

“You eat them.”

Eren’s eyes widened at that response. He repeated it back, disbelief evident in his voice. “You… eat… them…”

“Yes. And you gain their abilities and memories. Although you need someone special to help clear up those memories.”

“Someone special? Who?!” Eren demanded to know.

“Why would I tell you? Besides, they probably aren’t even the same person in this world.” Jean rolled his eyes.

Anger returned to Eren’s eyes, forcing him out of his traumatized state. He propelled himself down to Jean’s branch to get closer.

“So those dreams, those are _his_ memories? I want to get rid of them!” Eren demanded.

“Don’t like what you see? That’s your burden, not mine,” Jean offered a cruel smile. He would’ve been lying if he wasn’t somewhat satisfied seeing the Armored titan shifter suffering. It was the least he could do for all the pain he caused.

“You asshole!” Eren grabbed Jean by his collar, pulling him towards him.

Jean winced from the pain due to the injuries he sustained, but he maintained his cocky grin. “Fuck you.”

Finally growing tired from the tense exchange, Mikasa approached Jean and Eren. She pulled out a knife and cut the straps binding Jean’s feet.

Jean immediately pushed back from Eren, but lost his footing in the process and tumbled towards the edge of the branch. He let out a shout as he rolled closer and close to the edge. His eyes closed as he braced for the real possibility of falling to his death, yet it never came. A firm grip pinned him to the branch.

“’Kasa? Why?” Eren asked as Mikasa casually lifted Jean from the rough bark.

“He doesn’t trust us so we gotta give him some help.”

“But he’ll-”

“Do nothing.” She simply stated as she cut the straps around his wrists. She rolled him onto his back; she watched him carefully as quickly moved his hands in front of his chest.

His wrists hurt and his arms were incredibly sore from the earlier battle so fighting Mikasa probably wasn’t the wisest idea or even possible.

“…Thanks,” Jean quietly replied.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking but its probably not the truth. Eren didn’t destroy Shinganshina or Trost,” Mikasa backed up Eren’s statement.

Despite freeing him, Jean didn’t feel any more inclined to answer their questions. “Say what you want, it doesn’t mean I have to believe you.”

Eren narrowed his eyes once more, still irritated by Jean’s behavior.

Suddenly a strong gust passed by the tree carrying the sounds of a loud stampede. The trio looked over the side of the branch to see a swarm of titans running towards the trees. Jean groaned and fell onto his ass. They were doomed.

“I was wondering where you went,” a fourth voice joined the conversation.

Jean’s blood ran cold as he clearly recalled that voice from before. Eren, Mikasa, and Jean looked to the tree next to them and saw an oversized titan face. All three guarded themselves but the canine-like titan face remained unmoved. The others looked at where the titan propped itself and saw an older bearded man sitting on its back. Zeke seemed confident from his position on the titan, surrounded by countless barrels.

“Zeke,” Jean finally muttered, earning a shocked look from Eren and Mikasa.

“I thought I told you to come alone. Are these your allies?” Zeke seemed amused by the thought.

“You could say that,” Jean said, unsure of how the situation would play out. He was definitely outnumbered and outmatched.

“Are you Zeke? Zeke Jaeger?” Mikasa asked the question Eren seemed to be unable to form.

Zeke chuckled at those words before his cheerful expression suddenly grew dark. “I am Zeke, yes, but that other name caries no meaning to me. While I do have that wretch’s blood flowing through me, I refuse to acknowledge Grisha as my parent.”

“Y-You are him.” Eren seemed stunned.

“Hm?” Zeke frowned as he glanced at Eren. His eyes narrowed for a second before realization dawned on him. “You have his eyes. Are you his son?”

“Yes,” Eren said, his voice hopeful.

Jean watched the exchange, something he never saw in the other world. He studied Eren’s expression but it only left him perplexed.

“You brought me my brother, Jean? Just what are you getting at?” Zeke also seemed confused by the situation.

“I didn’t bring you shit,” Jean spat back, bringing a coy smile to Zeke’s face.

“Where is our dad?” Eren demanded to know. Jean’s eyes glanced at Eren before bouncing back to Zeke.

“That traitor? I dealt with him ages ago,” Zeke shrugged before turning his attention to Jean. “So why bring me these two? Perhaps you finally brought me the Coordinate.”

“Why would I do that?” Jean asked. He barely took note of Eren’s disposition.

“You killed our dad?” Eren’s voice trembled.

“Do you need proof?” Zeke quirked an eyebrow. He reached into his shirt and revealed an all too familiar key. Jean’s eyes widened when he realized where he’d seen it numerous times before.

“Dad’s key!” Eren shouted.

“Bingo. He’s already paid for his crimes, although I suppose you could still be useful if you’re like me. Are you interested in fighting for Marley?”

“You killed my dad!” Eren growled back at Zeke. He unclipped his 3DMG, dropping it on the branch next to him.

“Oh well, I asked,” Zeke shrugged. “Well Jean, where is the Coordinate?”

“Like I’d tell you,” Jean shook his head.

“Still as catty as ever,” Zeke sighed. “Pieck?”

The titan perched on the branch slowly repositioning its limbs.

“That titan is a shifter!” Jean shouted at Mikasa and Eren just as it came dashing towards them.

Eren kicked his gear backwards into Jean’s shin. Rather that complain, Jean grabbed it just as Pieck’s titan form crashed into the tree. He started to fall but Mikasa grabbed him while she swung to a nearby tree. Eren continued to drop until an explosion of steam erupted during his fall. The Armored titan fell into the mass of titans gathering below, squashing a few unlucky ones.

At the first opportunity, Jean hurriedly dawned the gear. He noticed Zeke looking down on him and Mikasa, stunned by what he was seeing. The Armored titan roared back up in the treetops, distracting Jean from his thoughts. He felt a nudge from Mikasa and she flew down, landing on Eren. With little choice in the matter he copied her actions. As soon as he landed, he grabbed onto Eren’s long hair as the Armored titan sprinted off from the woods through the other titans.

“Get them!” Zeke shouted at the titans below. Compelled by his command, they started running after Eren.

Jean pondered what was going on, baffled by the conversation that took place. Nothing made a lick of sense.

After sprinting for a bit, Jean felt Eren’s titan begin to slow down. It eventually came to a stop, turning to face the oncoming titan horde. Why did Eren have to come to a stop in the middle of plains?

“Jaeger, run!” Jean commanded, but no response came.

“He’s exhausted. We’re gonna have to fight here,” Mikasa informed him.

“Then why the hell did he bring us out in the open?!” Jean replied, definitely exasperated with the day’s events.

He looked at the gas on his gear, frowning at how near empty it was. Even if he and Mikasa were fully equipped, he doubted they could take on this many sprinting titans on top of Zeke and Pieck. Still, he equipped his blades and readied himself once more. As he prepared to face the oncoming death, a dust cloud from behind him caught his attention. He glanced back to see familiar faces charging towards them. Leading this small squad of soldiers was a rather pissed Levi Ackerman.

“Look, its Levi squad!” Jean pointed back behind them. Mikasa looked back, as well as Eren.

What transpired next, neither Jean nor Mikasa expected. Two giant hands wrapped around them and Eren turned towards the oncoming Survey Corps members. Suddenly, both were flung in the direction of the Survey Corps.

“Eren!” Mikasa shouted.

“Damn it, Jaeger!” Jean also shouted.

Both flew fast but they skillfully flipped into a maneuverable position. They were able to land in the grass, away from any titans thanks to their 3DMGs. It only took a minute for their squad to arrive, stopping next to them. Levi glared at both, before staring at the Armored titan.

“So Jaeger is the Armored titan? What about you two?” Levi questioned them immediately.

“He took me so don’t look at me,” Jean quickly defended himself. A sudden bump in his side revealed Jaeger the horse. His horse came with them? “Hey buddy. I missed you too.”

“That creature insisted on coming,” Levi briefly mentioned before focusing solely on Eren. “What’s he doing now?”

“He’s going to fight the Beast Titan by himself. We have to help him!” Mikasa quickly said.

Levi scoffed at the thought. “Why would we help the Armored titan?”

“I’d agree but the Beast Titan has something crucial for understanding the world beyond the walls. He’s wearing a key around his neck that unlocks the basement to Jaeger’s house,” Jean frowned.

“Why do I give a shit about Eren Jaeger’s basement?” Levi squinted at Jean.

“In my world it was a repository of information that was crucial for understanding the outside world.”

“That doesn’t mean I’d give a shit about it.”

“Erwin did,” Jean said, biting back his fears as Levi’s eyes hardened. “He believed in it enough to sacrifice his life as well as the Survey Corps to acquire it.”

“The Survey Corps?” Marco’s eyes widened at that information.

“Yes. Everyone but nine of us died fighting to get to that godforsaken basement. I’m not sure what’s in it here but I have no doubt it’d be incredibly useful.”

Levi frowned as he glanced at the Armored titan. It got into a defensive position as the first wave of titans ran towards it. Rather than engage him, their focus seemed to me on the squad behind him.

“Well, that makes that choice easier. Prepare for battle! And get that key,” Levi ordered as everyone prepared for battle.

Jean glanced at his equipment. “Did you guys bring any refills? I’m kinda running on empty.”

Marco nodded and gestured to his backback. Jean ran over with Mikasa while Marco dismounted. He handed the two of them canisters which they immediately used. As they filled up, Marco observed Jean’s appearance.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m peachy, how’re you?” Jean answered, his mind more focused on the oncoming titan horde.

“A-alive. Thanks for saving me back at the farm. If not for you I’d… I don’t wanna think about it,” Marco muttered.

Jean looked at him, stunned when he saw the comber look on Marco’s face. “I’d never let anything happen to you. I swear.”

Marco’s eyes widened a bit at the declaration, his mouth opening a bit. No sounds escaped him at first. Eventually he formed a tiny smile and nodded. “Thanks Jean.”

“Oi! Quit chatting and get ready,” Levi interrupted. Jean’s face reddened as he realized the others were watching him. His traditional scowl returned to his face and he jumped onto Jaeger. Marco mounted his horse and they got ready. Mikasa climbed on behind Jean.

“What’re you-”

“Just take me into battle and I’ll be gone,” Mikasa stated. It was a reasonable demand.

“Hyah!” Jean shouted as he whipped the reins on Jaeger. His horse was flanked by the rest of Levi’s squad. Levi, Reiner, Marco, Ymir, Historia, and Sasha all charged at the rapidly approaching titan horde. At least where they would meet the titans had some trees for help, but otherwise it’d be a battle in favor of the titans.

First blood went to Eren as he started punching wildly at the swarm of titans. His attacks did little to thin the crowd that charged forward, fearless and determined. Levi’s squad however was just as willing to fight.

Time nor body count mattered to Jean or the others. Chaos reigned supreme once the clash began. Unable to focus on anyone else, Jean skillfully hopped from titan to titan trying to get closer to Eren. He needed to get that key once Zeke made himself apparent.

Jean did his best to slaughter who he could, but for every titan he knocked down another two eagerly replaced it like a hydra. His focus was broken once he heard a shout. He noticed that Marco had foolishly followed him and Mikasa this far ahead into the titan horde. Marco was on the ground, grabbing one arm that he had crash landed on. This was the opening a titan needed to lunge at him.

“Oh hell no!” Jean shouted, easily able to fly down and slice at its nape. The creature collapsed just before Marco.

Refusing to be saved once more Marco quickly flew back up. He passed Jean, only offering a nod and a gentle smile as he attacked the next titan.

Jean continued to dart around the chaos, but he kept some of his attention diverted towards Marco. His best friend’s skill couldn’t be denied. Marco had definitely shaped up into a fantastic titan slayer, although nowhere near the Ackermans’ or Jean’s level. During one of his distracted moments Jean felt a rush of air as Pieck’s titan jumped overhead. Despite only being a 4 meter tall titan, it was agile for being on all fours.

Zeke’s unmistakably grinning face only pissed Jean off even more.

“You’ve definitely got a knack for this!” Zeke shouted.

Levi noticed the titan and shot a glare upwards.

“Who the hell is that?” Levi demanded to know.

“He’s the Beast titan shifter. The key is around his neck,” Jean shouted across the chaos. Levi nodded but had no time to do anything. Zeke was already jumping down into the fray, transforming midair.

“Watch out!” Jean shouted as the Beast titan flew by him, landing on two unfortunate titans below it.

Zeke immediately went for Jean, but a pair of blades spun wildly through the air. It cut across the Beast titan’s outstretched arm, dropping it useless to its side. Mikasa’s cold glare revealed itself as she finished her spin.

Through the skirmish, a loud battle cry pierced the battlefield. From across the way in the direction Levi’s squad came from was another bigger dust cloud. It didn’t take a genius to realize it was their back-up. At the front of the pack with a blade raised to the air sat Erwin, his face sporting a crazed look as he shouted.

Zeke also took notice of the incomers.

“Pieck, now!” The Beast Titan spoke.

“It can talk?!” Reiner commented as Pieck’s titan landed on the other side of the crowd. It hopped back over the crowd, spinning over and allowing the barrels on its back to fall. The nondescript barrels landed in Zeke’s good hand, and he swiftly launched them at the remainder of the Survey Corps. When they flew closer, Zeke unleashed a loud roar. Multiple explosions went off midair as a new handful of titans appeared on a crash course with the Survey Corps.

Levi’s eyes widened when he saw what took place, his focus immediately going to the Beast titan. Rather than allow him to get close though, Zeke continued to roar for more titans to close in on them. How suicidal was he?

In the distance Eren also roared, a pained roar. Jean turned to seem the Armored titan being crawled over by the smaller titans. There were too many to smash and he was clearly being overwhelmed. Despite this, Mikasa could be seen heading over to him.

Jean instead kept his attention on those near him. He latched himself onto the nearest titan, slaying it as he observed Marco and Historia attacking those around him.

A third roar erupted from mass of titans as a new titan shifter broke out. Jean turned to see a very familiar titan, the Attack titan.

“Holy shit,” he muttered as the nostalgic titan began punching countless smaller titans around it. It really was the same titan, albeit with shorter blond hair. The Beast titan seemed to take notice as well, quickly turning its attention towards it.

“There you are,” his deep voice carried, garnering the attention of Reiner.

Instead of replying, Reiner sprinted towards it with a fist reared back. Zeke easily dodged and responded by sending a solid punch square into Reiner’s jaw. The Attack titan reared backwards, almost landing Sasha and Ymir.

“Watch it!” Ymir shouted as she flew into a nearby titan.

Another chorus of shouts broke through the chaos once more. Jean glanced over to see the Survey Corps still riding towards them, only to have a cavalcade of titans chasing them on all fours. Of course the titans Zeke created were aberrant titans.

Knowing full well what this meant for the Commander of the Survey Corps, Jean immediately propelled himself towards the oncoming horde. He was using too much gas but if he could prevent Erwin’s unfortunate amputation it’d be worth it.

Levi and Marco noticed Jean’s abrupt change of course towards the Survey Corps. Rather than stay for the action, both took off towards Jean. Even with Jean making haste Levi propelled after him faster.

Soon all parties met in the middle of the plains. With one last roar, Erwin threw his arm up in the air. A titan saw this as a cue and began to spring for it. Panic set through Jean and he saw that he had little choice. He swung a blade from his gear, releasing it in the direction of Erwin.

“The hell are you doing?!” Levi shouted, grabbing the attention of Erwin. The Commander shot a suspicious glare at the two as he saw the blade flying at him. He quickly dropped his arm to navigate his horse out of the way. Just as Erwin’s arm dropped, an aberrant titan flew within centimeters of him. His eyes widened as the blade embedded itself uselessly in the creature’s cheek.

Levi ignored his desire to grab Jean and immediately went to slay the titan that dared to try and eat the commander.

Jean turned to propel himself back to the mass of titans, but as he launched an anchor it only went halfway before falling uselessly to the ground. He was out of gas.

“Shit,” Jean muttered as he found himself still flying towards the oncoming stampede of titans and Survey Corps members. He prepared himself for a crash landing that’d likely shatter his bones. Today just wasn’t not his day.

Another one of the aberrants charged over the Survey Corps, hoping to make an easy snack out of Jean. It opened its mouth wide as it pounced near Jean. Unable to dodge without gas, Jean equipped one more blade and outstretched his arms. Just maybe he could use his blades to stop his momentum.

The world went dark as Jean flew straight into the titan’s mouth. One blade shattered when it hit the bottom teeth of the titan while the other lodged itself in the crack of the titan’s two top teeth. A terrible pain wracked Jean’s body as he struggled to hold onto his blade, his momentum almost carrying him into the titan’s throat. His feet fought against the wild tongue lashing at him. He struggled as best he could until the tongue suddenly ceased moving. The creature’s body crashed into the ground, knocking Jean loose from his blade and into the titan’s mouth. He braced himself for imminent death, a sweet release from the pain his body felt. Despite being bounced, bruised, and probably having a shoulder dislocated, Jean was stunned to find himself not being swallowed. Instead steam started erupting from the insides of the titan.

He stumbled around the misty mouth, getting covered in saliva and lord knows what else until he tripped over his blade.

“Fuck!” he muttered as he banged his shin. He took a sharp inhale of breath as he reached for his blade. He tried to pull it out but it was stuck where it was latched. He detached the blade from his grip and crawled out of the titan. Jean found himself near a tree next to the steaming corpse. A loud thumping captured his attention, sending adrenaline pumping through his veins. He turned to see another aberrant charging at him. “Bring it on, I can do this all day!”

He equipped one more blade but noticed it was his last blade. Jean also noticed his other blade remained shattered, and he was still out of gas. On top of all of that his shoulder still felt weak. Grabbing onto his one good blade felt like pins and needles were stabbing him but he held on. Still, he refused to fall to his knees and glared at the grotesque creature. For the umpteenth time that day, Jean braced himself for death’s warm welcome.

A 3DMG shot from the tree above him towards the aberrant titan. It only took a simple maneuver to flip over the titan for the mystery person, something Jean had done a dozen times. Jean’s mouth dropped when he realized it was Marco skillfully doing that maneuver. The titan tried to bite at him, but he was able to dodge around that as well. They went back and forth for a bit until Marco was able to get around it and strike a killing blow.

Jean’s legs gave out once that titan came crashing to the ground with Marco riding its back. He hopped off and ran towards Jean, who collapsed as his adrenaline wore off.

“Jean? Are you alright?” Marco quickly asked.

“Y-yeah,” Jean struggled to get out. He glanced over at the battle and saw they were far away from it, but it definitely looked like it was winding down. However it looked like another mysterious titan had appeared. A large female titan roared loudly. Jean wondered if Mikasa finally transformed, but his body decided it had had enough for the day. He formed a weary smile at Marco before he passed out. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Huh? Jean? Jean!”

\---

Jean let out a pained groan as he started to awake. His eyelids felt incredibly heavy and his body just as sore. Thoughts felt like haze slowly swirling in his mind, wispy and all over the place. A cool wind caused goosebumps to rise on his left arm while a scratchy fabric irritated his chest. It felt like his mind blinked on and off with each of these sensations. Just as he thought he could push himself to wake up, Jean found himself lulled back into slumber. He wasn’t sure how many times he repeated this process until his eyes eventually cracked open.

Another sound escaped his parched throat, more akin to loud wheeze instead of a groan though. When his mental faculties started moving again, he soon realized he was back in his bed at the Survey Corps headquarters. Was it time to train again?

A light flickered around the dark walls of the room, drawing Jean’s attention to his night stand. A half-melted candle burned weakly; its flame dancing back and forth with the gentle air currents. Just behind the candle sat another person, passed out on a wooden chair. Jean’s heart skipped a beat as a tiny smile formed on his face. Marco snoozed gracelessly in the old chair, his head tilted back. It was a much needed sight for Jean when his thoughts began to return to him.

Marco was safe still.

In Marco’s lap a half peeled apple remained pinned between his thighs. Next to Marco and lightly embedded in the floor board was a knife probably taken from the mess hall.

Jean flinched as he tried to move towards Marco, his body rejecting the thought. It was then he began to notice the extent of his injuries. His right arm was resting in a sling, partially covered in bandages. The familiar itching of the bandages could be felt over various parts of his body including his other arm, torso, and even his head.

The memories of the earlier battle slowly returned, but Jean tried to set them aside. He really didn’t want to process them right now. They weren’t going to ruin this peaceful moment. Or at least he hoped until the door cracked open.

“Oh look, it awakens,” Levi’s voice greeted him.

The door opened further to reveal Hange and Erwin next to Levi.

“I knew I heard something,” Hange smiled, unsettling Jean just a bit.

The three senior members of the Survey Corps entered quietly, trying to not cause too much noise. They made their way over to Jean but stayed far enough away to not box him in.

“How are you feeling?” Erwin asked the first question. If Jean didn’t know him better he’d say the commander looked vaguely concerned.

“Sore,” Jean said, his voice still a bit raspy.

“As to be expected from someone who fought in two battles in a row,” Erwin nodded in understanding. Despite knowing it was probably a charade Jean was at least slightly pleased to know the commander understood. “I think you know why I’m here though.”

That didn’t last long.

“Because I was kidnapped?” Jean guessed, his tone only slightly sarcastic.

“Huh? Oh yeah that happened.” Erwin frowned for a moment as he seemed to have forgotten that detail. “No, I meant because you charged across the battlefield to throw a sword at me the moment I got close enough.”

Jean’s eyes widened as he recalled that. He immediately glanced at the commander’s right arm and saw that it was still attached to the guarded man. When he tried to look back at the commander he instead found Levi peering directly into his face.

“You attacked the leader of the Survey Corps,” Levi narrowed his stone cold eyes. Jean gulped until Levi softened his expression. “Thanks.”

“Huh?” Jean’s heart was beating loud enough that it almost deafened him to those unexpected words.

“You prevented that titan from hitting me. How did you know that would happen?” Erwin offered a curious smile.

“…That’s how you lost it in my world,” Jean explained quietly.

“So you were kidnapped in your world as well?” Hange butted into the conversation, physically knocking Levi out of the way as they stared at Jean. Hange’s wide smile unsettled Jean even more.

“N-no. Something like it happened and in the ensuing battle the commander lost his arm. I was trying to prevent that.”

Erwin quirked an eyebrow upon hearing that. “You almost sacrificed your life to save an arm?”

“I firmly believe you would’ve done much more if given a hand.”

Levi gave Jean a dull look. “Don’t ruin my mood with a shitty joke, Kirschtein.”

Embarrassment flushed Jean’s face red when he realized the accidental quip. He almost missed the fact Levi actually used his name too. “Sorry, sir.”

“It’s alright. It’s been a few days since the battle anyways so we’ll leave you to recover. You’re off duty until your arm recovers,” Erwin informed Jean.

“Days?!” Jean almost choked on the words. He was out for days? “What happened to Jaeger? Mikasa? The other titans?”

“We’ll go over it in more detail in the morning. Assuming you can make it to mess hall. Just know that they got away but we won the day. I believe we’ll be safe for a while from any more attacks but we lost some good soldiers. For now we rest and lick our wounds,” Erwin said as he turned to leave. “We have more pressing matters to attend to now that the other branches have caught wind of these new shifters. And when the time comes I’ll need your skill and expertise. Until then, rest. You’ve earned it.”

With those words Erwin excused himself from the room. Levi slowly followed after, casting one last uninterested stare Jean. Hange hung around for a second longer though.

“When you’re feeling better, I have some tests I’d like your help with. See you then!” Hange happily spoke on her way to the door. She paused a moment to give an amused look at Marco. “You know, he’s been by your side since we’ve been back. Be sure to thank him!”

“Huh?” Jean was shocked by that admission. He barely had any time to react before Hange slammed the door shut, startling Marco from his nap.

Marco yelped as he jumped up, dropping the partially peeled apple on the wooden floor. “Who did what now?”

Jean laid in his bed, propped up on a pillow blinking at the unexpected jump. He sat there like a deer caught in the headlights. A low continuous hum escaped him until Marco looked right him. “H-hi.”

“You’re awake!” Marco smiled widely, quickly entering Jean’s personal space. He tightly embraced Jean, ignoring the fact he was injured all over.

“A-Ah-Ah-Marco!” Jean said as his nerves started spiking.

Marco realized what he was doing and jumped backwards almost into the chair.

“I’m so sorry! I just got caught up in the moment?” He nervously chuckled.

Jean snorted, shaking his head at his friend.

“It’s ok,” Jean shrugged off with a wince.

Marco gave a skeptical look but didn’t press Jean any further.

With Marco now much closer Jean was able to get a better look at him. Using the light from the candle he was able to see his friend was also bandaged up, albeit much less than he probably was. Marco’s forehead was wrapped tightly and a scratch was covered on his cheek but at least he looked cheerful. It really was a happy sight for Jean.

“Jean?” Marco asked, concerned by his friend’s staring.

“What? Oh, sorry. I was lost in thought,” Jean half-lied.

“What’re you thinking about?”

“Um, the battle, everything that happened, and you.”

“Me?” Marco’s voice unintentionally raised an octave.

Jean flushed a bit at the admission but told him nonetheless. “Yeah. You saved me during the battle and I woke up to find you here.”

Marco’s neutral expression faded into a happier one. “Someone had to take care of you. Besides, you saved me first. Twice!”

“Duh, I’m not going to let anything happen to you again,” Jean scoffed at the thought, not immediately realizing what he said. When Marco tilted his head in confusion, Jean blurted out more words. “I mean you’re best friend here and that’s what friends do. You know, keep each other alive and stuff.”

Marco nodded but his face remained stoic. “You mentioned that before. And there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask.”

Jean plastered a fake smile on his face as he nodded. “Sure, what’s up?”

“You said during the battle that only nine people survived the Survey Corps in your world.” Marco started, sending chills down Jean’s spine. He forgot about how perceptive Marco could be. “Given what we’ve learned from you that means that two were Levi and Hange since you know them as your superiors. Adding you, Eren, and Armin as survivors and titan shifters that makes five. Assuming Mikasa, Sasha, and Connie were all a part of this mission to like you said at breakfast that’s eight. You mentioned that Ymir and Historia were also there guarding horses which makes ten. Now I know you didn’t say that any of us died there so the numbers don’t add up. Have you been lying to us?”

“Th-that’s making a lot of assumptions Marco,” Jean’s smile twitched as goosebumps travelled down his legs. Damn Marco’s observation skills.

Marco’s eyes fell to the ground. “So you haven’t been telling the whole truth.”

“I didn’t say-”

“You don’t have to say. I know you Jean. Well, I _knew_ you. So I know when you’re hiding something.”

Marco’s voice quieted with each successive word, slowly pressing Jean’s nerves.

Jean couldn’t talk his way out of this and this was the last person he wanted to disappoint right now.

“I couldn’t tell everyone the truth,” Jean finally confessed, catching Marco’s attention. “I didn’t want to be the one to ruin the… dynamic? I think that’s the word for it.”

“What do you mean?” Marco tried to make eye contact with Jean, but his injured friend instead stared at his sheets.

“Besides everything being fucked up compared to my world, everyone here was still friends. Nothing had interfered with that and, to be honest, it felt good. It felt nostalgic. Telling people about their other halves just made people suspicious of each other and now that Eren took off like an idiot I feel like I’m partially to blame.”

“Don’t blame yourself, that’s not your fault,” Marco disagreed with that last thought. “It would’ve happened with or without you. I understand about not wanting to tell people about their other halves but you have to know that we are not them. Just like you’re not our Jean.”

“Ouch.” Jean pretended to be hurt by the thought.

“I’m serious. You’re very different than the Jean I knew…”

Marco’s gaze fell to the bed as he reminisced.

“I mean I had several years to mature so I’m different from who I was then too.” Jean chuckled at the thought.

Marco smiled a bit. “Yeah, I guess I’m different from the Marco in your world too.”

Jean’s playful smile immediately fell along with his jaw. He couldn’t stop his reaction nor could he stop Marco from seeing it. That was another lie he hadn’t fessed up to.

“Uh-huh.”

“What? I mean I went into the Military Police without you so something had to have-” Marco started when an idea crossed his mind. He studied Jean’s reaction as he slowly thought more about it. Jean watched his best friend’s frame shrink in on itself while he seemingly processed something.

“Marco?” Jean hesitantly spoke up.

“There’s no way. I didn’t go into the Military Police, did I?” Marco hit the nail on the head. When Jean couldn’t answer right away, he knew. “You lied to me too.”

“I… Marco I-” Jean stumbled over his words but his throat constricted from fear. Marco caught him and he couldn’t bring himself to explain. His mind started racing at the possibilities as he thought about how bad he fucked up. Would Marco leave him to himself? Would he tell the others? Would he hate him? Oh no, he couldn’t lose the one good thing that came from this world.

Marco’s lips trembled as he continued to think about it, staring at the floor. “I died in your world.”

“M-M-M…”

Marco stared directly at Jean, making his friend’s stomach sink from all the butterflies and guilt swirling in it. The anxiety was so much worse than any of the injuries plaguing Jean’s body at the moment. He didn’t want to lose his friend. Not again.

“You lied to me. It all makes so much sense though, how did I miss it?” Marco said in a chastising tone. He scratched his head as he continued. “Your reactions, the unconditional protection, the hesitation whenever I asked… and- Oh no. Oh no no no no.”

“Marco?” Jean’s voice barely spoke above a whisper, catching his friend’s attention. Jean must’ve looked like a trembling puppy because Marco’s demeanor instantly softened upon gazing at Jean.

“Did you join the Survey Corps… because I died?” Marco asked, his lips pressed into a line.

Water started to collect at the corners of Jean’s eyes as his fear enveloped him. “Yes. I… I couldn’t tell you. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I didn’t want to worry you or or or-”

“Jean.”

“I didn’t want to lose you again. Or think about it. I-”

“Jean.”

“Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to lose you again over this. I’m not sure-”

“Jean!” Marco snapped him out of his downward spiral. Jean met his eyes and saw the last thing he expected to see: warmth. Marco sat down on the edge of the bed with a gentle smile. “It’s ok, I understand why you did what you did. You don’t have to apologize. I don’t want apologizing to me. You did nothing wrong.”

“Nothing? I lied to you. I lied to _Marco fucking Bodt_. That’s like the worst thing I could ever do!”

Jean’s answer took Marco aback. The other last thing Jean expected to happened right then: Marco started laughing. At him.

“That’s the worst thing you could ever do?” Marco replied incredulously.

“Are you laughing me? Of course it is.”

“Jean, it’s ok. I probably would’ve done the same thing given your situation.”

“No you wouldn’t have. You’re too… honest.”

That answer had Marco clutching his sides.

“Jean, please. I know I would’ve.”

Jean gave him a deadpan look as his emotions finally calmed.

“And how would you know that?”

“Because we both did the exact same things when we lost each other. And we’ve been acting the same way here. Namely protecting each other with little regard for ourselves.”

Jean tried to raise a finger to contest that point, but couldn’t come up with an adequate disagreement. “Touché.”

“So don’t worry. There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m not going to leave you. You’ve already done so much for everyone besides me, so we’re not going to leave you. I’m not going to lose you again, I promise.”

Jean felt a crushing weight lift off his body at those last words. “Thank you.”

Marco shook his head as he embraced Jean one more time, albeit much more gingerly this time. “No, thank you for being here.”

They remained that way for a bit, letting their guards down. Jean fully expected Connie or someone to come interrupt them but to his eternal gratitude no such thing happened. He was able to let all his anxiety and fear go, if only for a fleeting moment.

Little did Jean know his fear of being interrupted was warranted, but the potential offending party instead sat outside the door listening. Connie sat there with wide smile, genuinely happy for his friends. Marco really had found joy through an impossible means once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing titan fights is not as easy as it is drawing them in the manga that's for sure, so I hope the paragraphs were detailed enough but not too dense for those moments. I also almost choked myeslf up at the end when Jean finally let the truth out simply because in this situation I can't see him being anything but a nervous wreck with how shitty his situation is and not reacting viscerally whenever he's afraid he might lose something. So I hope that didn't appear out of character for him.  
> The only other clarification I can think of to say is to remember Jean is not a trustworthy narrator nor does he have all the answers. In this chapter we met a new titan shifter but we don't know who for sure it is nor do we know Eren's game plan. Still, I hope you all enjoyed the action, new pieces of information dropped, as well as Jean and Marco having little to no secrets between them. I won't forget this is very much still a JM story but the showing the world as well as everyone else's relationships grow is also a main goal too so I hope I'm accomplishing that.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this longer than usual chapter and I'd love to hear some feedback whether about the plot, contradictory pieces of info, or if you just wanna gush about the characters and how everyone is behaving. Please leave a comment, kudos, or reblog this on my tumblr. Have a great day!


	7. Hello Nurse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean learns he's wrong in a lot of his assumptions about the mirror world and how much he values the extra attention from Marco.

While not impossible, moving from his bedroom to the dining hall definitely was uncomfortable for Jean. His muscles remained sore, aching from their first actual use in days. The burden of the trek was lightened thanks for Marco’s encouragement and occasional help whenever Jean’s legs stumbled. Jean refused to keep count of how many times Marco prevented him from hitting the wooden floor. No one seemed to notice his injured state too much as many others eating also were bandaged and bruised.

Breakfast itself was much quieter than Jean expected. He sat on one end of the table fully expecting more of the 104th squad to appear but only Sasha, Connie, Reiner, and Bertholdt appeared. Half of them were already gone. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin he expected but where were Ymir and Sasha?

“Hey, you’re alive,” Reiner cheerfully greeted Jean. He went to pat Jean’s back but an icy glare from Jean stopped that idea.

“What can I say, I’m stubborn,” Jean said. He slowly munched on some stale bread with his left hand now that his right hand remained stuck in the sling. “Glad to see you made a full recovery from that titan.”

“Hm? Which one?”

“The one that flattened the house you and Marco were on,” Jean clarified. Somehow he wasn’t surprised that Reiner survived multiple titan attacks during the battle.

“Oh yeah, he wrecked my shit. Thanks for pulling me off that house.”

“And thanks for coming to my rescue. We’re even.”

“Far from it, Kirschtein,” Levi interrupted the conversation. He took a seat across the table from Jean. “Last I counted we lost a lot of good soldiers recovering your pasty ass.”

Jean’s expression immediately fell flat. He dropped his bread on the table with a solid thud.

“You didn’t have to come save me, sir.” Jean frowned as guilt started to creep up his spine.

“You’re right,” Levi agreed unabashedly. “But your friends didn’t. Or your horse. They took off before I could stop them and next thing I knew we were in the fray. All of that said, we learned quite a bit from that battle and you personally risked yourself to save the commander. Either you’re the world’s shittiest spy or you’re proving yourself quite worthwhile. After breakfast Erwin wishes to see you in his office.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Glad we’re clear on that,” Levi said as he bit into his bread. He chewed for only a few moments before setting his small loaf down. “Question for ya, Kirschtein. Was the food this shitty in your world too?”

Jean glanced at his bread before nodding. “Yeah, that hasn’t changed.”

“Great, at least you suffered like the rest of us.”

\---

“You wanted to see me, sir?” Jean spoke as he knocked on the heavy door to the commander’s study.

“Please, come in,” Erwin beckoned from the other side of the door.

Jean glanced to his side and nodded at his walking buddy. Marco turned the knob for Jean, providing the extra force his friend couldn’t muster at the moment. Allowing the door to creak open for a moment, Jean walked through once it was wide enough. Instead of joining Jean for the meeting, Marco opted to shut the door and walk away. It was a private summons from the commander so he had no reason to be there.

The commander didn’t look up from his documents as he continued to write something down when Jean approached the desk. Erwin was surrounded by piles of books in varying states of decay and messy stacks of papers. One responsibility of the commander Jean didn’t admire was the bureaucratic one.

“How can I help you?” Jean spoke weakly.

“Take a seat, Jean,” Erwin gestured to a comfortable looking chair across from his desk. Doing as he was told, Jean swiftly took a seat while the commander finished up one last paper. With a heavy sigh, Erwin set down his pen and finally gave his full attention to his subordinate. “Let’s talk.”

Goosebumps trailed down Jean’s arms upon hearing those words. He’d assumed that much when he got a summons. “A-About what, sir?”

“The battle, your world, you. Whichever is most convenient for you right now. You’ve been out for a while so I believe you want to be brought up to speed, correct?”

“Uh, yes please.”

Erwin nodded, intertwining his fingers while he rested his hands on his desk.

“Very well, what would you like to know?”

Jean bit his lip as he thought about all the concerns plaguing him.

“What happened to the Armored titan?”

“He escaped with Mikasa after the Beast titan was beaten back.”

“We beat the Beast titan?” Jean was genuinely surprised by the thought.

“Yes, although it took the combined might of the Armored titan and Reiner. After they forced him back to his human form that four legged titan he brought rescued him. Shortly after that Eren grabbed Mikasa and sprinted deeper into Wall Maria territory. We were in no condition to pursue however.”

That was an interesting thought. Eren fought against his older brother.

“Did we get the key from the beast titan?”

Erwin quirked an eyebrow at that question.

“No but Levi mentioned it in his report. What’s special about that key?”

“It’s the key to knowledge of the outside world, pardon the pun,” Jean informed him. An unmistakable glint of curiosity flashed across Erwin’s eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“It unlocks Grisha Jaeger’s stash of books on the outside world. Or at least it did in my world.”

“Interesting.” Erwin pulled out a piece of paper and started taking notes.

“You said Eren ran off with Mikasa. What happened to Armin?” Jean frowned as he thought about it. If Armin was the Colossal titan he was arguably the most dangerous.

Erwin paused his notes to stare at Jean for a moment. “He’s currently locked in the dungeon until we decide whether or not we can trust him.”

“What?!” Jean’s arms fell to his side as he made his shock evident. “Isn’t he a titan shifter?”

“That was our initial thought but he continued to fight in the battle by our side in human form. He also sustained injuries that have yet to heal. We even made a few… additional ones to check. I believe he’s a regular human. He’s been as helpful as possible but we’ve yet to determine what to do with him.”

“He fought by us? Did he try to leave with Eren or Mikasa?”

“No. In fact he kept his distance when Mikasa approached him at one point. Regardless, it’s likely he harbored the Armored titan shifter and told no one. He may face a military trial depending how the cards fall. It’s out of my hands now.”

Biting his lip, Jean mulled over his thoughts. Why would Armin reject going to Eren and Mikasa?

“Shame. He was a great resource in my world. Almost became your successor too.”

Erwin stopped taking notes when he heard those words. “My successor?”

“Yeah, he has a brilliant mind. Has he ever done anything to betray the Survey Corps yet here?”

“You mean besides hiding Eren’s titan form? No.”

“Then he might still be good. Still, it’s odd for Eren and Mikasa to be titans and him not,” Jean rubbed his stubble. He really needed to shave when his strength returned.

“Mikasa Ackerman is a titan too?” Erwin seemed surprised by the thought.

“Well, yeah. Didn’t she turn into a female titan during the battle?” Jean narrowed his eyes.

“No, that wasn’t her. That was Ymir. She’s currently in the dungeon with Armin while we figure out her allegiances.”

“ _Ymir is the female titan,_ ” Jean’s eyes widened. “Where is Historia?”

“With her in the dungeon. She insisted. Plus it guarantees Ymir won’t try to shift and escape. Did you have this many shifters in your class in your world too?”

“About, yeah.”

“And you said something similar happened in your world too. What happened after this?”

Jean stared at the ground as he tried to recall the events in his world. It was so long ago that most of the time it blended together at this point. “I believe we dealt with the secret police or the government next.”

“The government?”

“Yeah. But that’s one thing I’ve never been able to figure out here. Who runs the country?”

“Formally it’s King Fritz but there are rumors he’s just a figurehead for the wealthy elite of this country.”

“It was the same in my world.”

While Jean could’ve explained more about the coup, he was more than sure that was something that needed to happen on its own here. For them to have succeeded it took a lot of dominos falling into place at the right time and from what Jean knew they were still missing the pieces here.

“Interesting. I’ll have to check in on my mole about that secret police. Well that’s all for now. When you are more mobile I’d like you to take watch in the dungeon. You might need this.”

Jean’s momentary shock subsided when Erwin reached into a drawer in his desk and placed his sidearm on some papers.

“M-my gun?”

“Yes, you’ll need some protection since your arm is immobilized. That should be enough to keep Armin in line. Now if you excuse me, I need to send my reports of the battle today before Pixis brings all the others here in person. You’re dismissed.”

Jean grabbed his gun with his left hand, a bit surprised at how heavy it felt. Was it already loaded too?

“Thank you, sir.”

Jean tucked the gun into his pants pocket as he turned to leave. With some strain he managed to open the door. Behind it Jean found Marco leaning against a wall.

Marco’s face lit up once he saw Jean. “Ready, Jean?”

“Yeah, but you don’t need to escort me,” Jean complained aloud, although he secretly appreciated the extra attention from his friend. Not that Marco needed to know that.

“Shush. The nurse said you’d need help for a bit and I volunteered. Come on, let’s get some fresh air and stretch your legs.”

“Whatever, nurse Bodt.”

“ _Jean!_ ”  
\---

It took some fishing but Jean managed to find his old gun holster in his belongings from the other world. Thankfully it was already designed to be used with the suspenders of the Survey Corps uniform. Jean tucked it behind his sling and placed his gun in there, not that he’d likely need it. One week was more than enough for his muscles to recover enough so he could walk around on his own. It wasn’t enough for his arm to do much movement but he was doing better.

A knock at his door caught his attention.

“Come in,” Jean beckoned as he finished preparing himself.

Marco quickly scurried in.

“Hey, ready for dungeon duty?” Marco asked despite already knowing the answer.

“Yeah,” Jean said. He walked towards the door with Marco starting to follow him, partially out of habit from the past week. “Thanks for all your help by the way. It means a lot, ya know?”

“No problem,” Marco smiled. The bandages on Marco were long gone and replaced with smaller cuts that were healing faster than Jean’s deeper wounds. “Just don’t push yourself.”

“I won’t. Don’t worry about me, nurse,” Jean teased.

A loud groan came from Marco. “Quit calling me that! I’m just helping you.”

“I know, I know.” Jean rolled his eyes, enjoying the dynamic with Marco. Truthfully he needed the assistance and loved the attention. Although he couldn’t figure out if he loved the attention for the sake of it or because it came from Marco. Either way it was a huge relief from all the stress this world brought on Jean.

When they reached the corridor that lead to the dungeon, Marco turned to break off towards the mess hall. “Well, good luck. I’ll leave you to your job.”

Jean’s hand quickly grabbed Marco’s bicep. “Actually, can you help me today?”

The surprise grip stopped Marco’s movements. He frowned for a bit and gave Jean a puzzled look. “What do you need me for?”

“Well…” Jean muttered as he tried to find the words to describe it. “I want to ask Armin questions and I’d like you there to verify what he says.”

Marco’s face went from confused to hopeful to disappointed to understanding in the span of a few seconds. “Sure.”

Jean gave his best friend a slight smile. Being honest with Marco definitely worked wonders for convincing the boy, not that Marco needed to know the whole truth behind Jean’s motivations. Both boys remained silent on their trip below the headquarters into the dungeon.

The dungeon truly lived up to its name thanks to the damp air and cold stone walls. Two lights shone brightly in the dingy area. Jean and Marco walked past the first cell where Ymir laid in a bed peacefully in chains with Historia at her side. The tiny blond girl didn’t acknowledge the two boys as they passed by.

In the last cell with a flickering light a soldier sat outside by it. He sat in a rickety chair reading a newspaper as an oil lamp burned on the crate next to him. The sounds of footsteps drew his attention from the paper.

“Are you my relief?” he wondered, folding his paper up in anticipation.

“Yes. You’re free to go.” Jean nodded at the man.

“Thank the goddesses. Have fun with the traitor,” the soldier joked. He got up to stretch his arms, pausing a moment to look in the cell. “Just between you and me, if you feel like stretching your muscles you can punish him for ‘acting up’ if you catch my drift. A few more bruises won’t go noticed.”

Anger briefly pulsed through Jean’s head as he processed that last statement but he was in no condition to do anything about it. “Yeah, yeah, now get out of here.”

The solider quirked an eyebrow at the dismissive statement but he didn’t need to be told twice to leave.

Once the sounds of echoing steps faded, Jean looked into the cell to see the condition of the Survey Corps supposed traitor. Pity was the first impression Jean got.

Armin sat against the rough stone wall, his wrists wrapped in chains that eventually attached to the top of the wall. He had enough slack to sit down on the smoother floor with his hand in his lap, but not enough to lay down or move from the wall. A threadbare white shirt and equally town pants were the only clothes on him; his feet were left to the mercy of the chilly air. The poor kid didn’t look like he’d been cleaned up or treated too much since the battle over a week earlier.

Countless frayed bandages wrapped around his wrists, head, and feet. And just like the soldier suggested, fresh bruises colored his cheeks purple. A blindfold covered the poor kid’s eyes and Jean noticed some fabric in his mouth. They actually gagged the kid. It really was a sad sight.

Jean looked by the lamp to see a ring of keys lying there. He retrieved them and started the process of finding which one opened the cell. Loud clanging from Jean’s numerous attempts prompted Armin to begin moving. Jean glanced up upon hearing the lock click open to see Armin curling in on himself. The blond instinctively pushed himself as far from the door as possible. A sigh left Jean as he walked towards the mistreated prisoner.

“It’s okay, Armin. I’m not going to hurt you,” Jean announced his presence as he approached. Armin stiffened up, stopping his movements. Fulfilling his promise, Jean bent down to remove the blindfold. He almost flinched when he saw the fear in Armin’s puffy eyes. Stomaching himself for whatever Armin’s words would be, Jean grabbed the fabric in Armin’s mouth and pulled it out. The prisoner immediately started coughing up a storm. Just how deep was that rag shoved in Armin’s mouth? “Marco, please get some water.”

“O-Of course,” Marco answered before running off.

Armin’s eyes moved sporadically as he observed Jean. Both boys were on edge until a raspy voice escaped Armin’s throat. “You’re alive.”

“Thanks to Marco, yes.”

Armin nodded slightly. “That’s good.”

“And you look like shit. What the hell happened to you?” Jean wondered as he started taking in details he couldn’t see form outside. Armin definitely looked frail compared to the last time they met. A loud groan from his stomach cued Jean further to his teammate’s health. “Have you been eating?”

Gesturing with his head, Armin pointed to the corner where Jean’s stomach fell. A pile of stale and rotting food along with a puddle of lord knows what had flies buzzing around it. “They just dump it there. They only give some water.”

“What the fuck?” Jean gritted his teeth, completely disgusted by this treatment.

A quiet question escaped Armin, his voice trembling as he dared to ask it. “A-Are you g-going to do the same?”

“What? No!” Jean tried to reassure Armin. Even he got better treatment from Jaeger and Mikasa, and they were supposed to be the villains. “I just got assigned to watch you. No one said shit about beating you.”

“Well, I’m not surprised,” Armin’s voice remained low and raspy. “I hid the identity of the Armored titan after all.”

Just as Armin confessed that, the sounds of Marco’s footsteps brought relief to both Jean and Armin. Marco entered the cell with not only a glass but also a pitcher of water.

“Here,” Marco said as he carefully poured a small amount of water into the cup. He placed it in Armin’s weak grasp and kept his hands there. He guided the cup to Armin’s mouth, allowing the prisoner to take greedy gulps of the precious liquid. “Let me get you more.”

“Please,” Armin pleaded.

“Why did you stay with us?” Jean asked.

Armin’s eyes remained at his feet. “Because someone needed to prove their innocence. I already told Levi and Hange this. Eren wasn’t the Armored titan who attacked Shinganshina.”

“Then who was?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Marco brought Armin more water, still assisting him in drinking the liquid. Marco spoke, “You know they don’t believe that.”

After finishing his second cup Armin continued to not face his former squad mates. “They can believe what they want. I helped the Survey Corps since day one, fought alongside everyone for all those battles, and stayed behind when Eren and Mikasa hastily ran off. If that doesn’t mean anything to the Commander then Eren and Mikasa probably made the right choice escaping.”

“I’d agree with that except the fact they kept saying Eren was innocent. If you were guilty there’s no way you’d return nor would be a regular human. In fact your wounds would be gone right now. Speaking of which, Marco please go get some fresh bandages and food.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” Marco left the water pitcher by Jean and took off once again.

“Can you tell me about Shinganshina?” Jean requested as he poured another cup for Armin.

That got Armin’s eyes to momentarily bounce from the floor to Jean’s before quickly returning. “What about it?”

“What happened? I wanna know if it’s like my world,” Jean explained. He placed the water in Armin’s hands and waited for a response.

Armin bit his dry bottom lip as his face turned red. “Sure but can you help me?”

“Huh?” Jean tilted his head.

“I’m not that strong right now…”

“Oh, right!” Jean realized what Marco was doing for Armin. He gingerly grabbed Armin’s hands and pushed the cup towards Armin’s mouth. He waited until he cup was empty before taking it away.

“T-thanks,” Armin offered a tiny smile, grateful for the relief.

“Of course.”

Armin paused as he mulled over how to explain the most frightening event in his past. “Years ago humanity received a grave reminder of our place in the world. For the first time in a century a titan was seen standing over the gate of Wall Maria. The Colossal titan broke down the gate and the Armored titan appeared. It sprinted through the city and crashed the other gate, thereby breaking the seal we had on the wall and allowing the other titans to flow passed Wall Maria into new lands. Halfway through the evacuation the Colossal titan reappeared within the city and decimated the rescue efforts.”

“What about Jaeger’s family?” Jean narrowed his eyes as he couldn’t forget the countless fits of anger Eren had as a result of that day. All the nights he woke up shouting during their training that left everyone tired the next day.

“Eren’s mom died in the initial impact. I don’t know how she died but Eren blamed the titans. I lost my grandpa when the Colossal titan reappeared. The three of us stuck together after that.”

“What about Trost? What happened there?”

“We were going to graduate but the Beast titan attacked that day. It broke the gate with a huge boulder but Reiner transformed to save the day. Once the government decided it was time to show their secret weapon.”

“Their secret weapon? They knew about Reiner?” Jean scratched his stubble thinking about that. “And the Beast titan attacked Trost?”

“Yeah. What happened in your world?”

“Jaeger turned into his titan on accident. It took some struggling but Eren eventually sealed the wall with your guidance. As for the titan, we were attacked by the Colossal titan and not the Beast titan. That fucker didn’t appear until Castle Utgard.”

Armin nodded as he thought about those words as echoes of Marco’s footsteps reached them. “I guided Eren?”

“Yup, not even Mikasa could calm him when he was raging,” Jean recalled.

“Interesting.”

Marco returned to the entrance of the cell with a tray of food in one hand, a basket of medical supplies around his wrist, and a shovel in the hand. “I’ve returned with supplies. Jean, please put this shovel by that compost in the corner. His dirty bandages are a priority.”

“Yes, nurse Bodt,” Jean smirked as Marco offered a dull stare. Levi must’ve been teaching Marco how to do it because it was surprisingly good.

“Please stop calling me that, Jean,” Marco requested.

“No can do,” Jean rejected. A small chuckle from Armin caught the attention of both boys. They glanced down at the dirtied blond and gave him puzzled looks. “What?”

“Nothing,” Armin shook his head as the first genuine smile on his face appeared.

\---

“This treatment is bullshit, even if he hid Jaeger’s secret from the world,” Jean complained with a swift kick to the wall in the stairwell.

“Shush!” Marco placed a hand over Jean’s mouth as a look of fear flashed across his face. “The guards will hear you.”

“I want them to hear me.”

Despite muffling Jean’s words, their meaning still came across clearly.

“No you don’t.”

Carefully pulling Marco’s hand off his mouth, Jean turned the volume down on his voice.

“Watch me,” he stated. Jean walked briskly up the stairs and left Marco behind.

“Huh? Jean, where are you going?” Marco asked. He immediately ran after Jean.

“Take a guess. There’s no way Erwin is approving this shit.”

“But Jean, its night time. He’s probably getting ready for bed!”

“We both know he doesn’t sleep. He plots.”

“That doesn’t even mean anything!”

Ignoring Marco’s comments were easy enough with the fresh image of Armin’s abuse in Jean’s mind. He knew of the unsavory deeds the Survey Corps in his world had committed all in the name of humanity and survival. Torture, murder, and assault were all tools used by the Corps in order to exist, let alone change the geopolitical landscape of their world. But abusing a helpless prisoner that was one of their own? That line was never crossed.

Countless warnings trailed Jean down the hall until he stopped in front of Erwin’s office. Marco had just reached him when he pushed the door open. It flung open to reveal Erwin still behind his desk glancing over papers with Levi dressed in his cleaning gear wiping around his superior. Their eyes bounced towards the door to see a seething Jean and nervous Marco in the entryway.

“May I help you two?” Erwin cocked an eyebrow. He set his paper down while Levi dropped his cleaning supplies.

The shorter yet more intimidating man removed the cloth protecting his mouth from the dust to reveal a rather deep scowl. “There you are, Bodt. Where were you at training today?”

“Oh. Uh, sorry, sir. But Jean requested my help with prison hoarding duty and-” Marco began to blabber but was cut off by Levi.

“Help watching a prisoner?! Are his eyes that shitty or did those get injured too during the fight last week?” Levi scoffed.

“Well, no sir but-”

“Then why did you assist, Kirschtein? Your nursing duties concluded this morning.”

“He asked-”

“Whoopie shit. You have duties as a soldier. If you two wanted more alone time then save it for when you’re off. Just because- Oi, Kirschtein!”

During Levi and Marco’s back-and-forth Jean marched straight passed the annoyed captain and straight towards the commander’s desk. Erwin remained unmoved by Jean’s boldness but his curiosity appeared piqued. It was only when Jean asked him directly did his stoney façade chip a bit.

“Did you sanction the abuse of Armin?” Jean demanded to know, ignoring the increasingly frustrated insults from Levi.

“Pardon?” Erwin’s eyes widened a little.

“Did you tell the guards to starve and abuse Armin?” Jean’s patience wore thinner as the commander seemed to be clueless.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. What do you mean?” Erwin’s voice lost its characteristic sense of mystery as he inquired into Jean’s question more.

“The soldiers watching Armin up until this point have been assaulting him, withholding food, and allowing said food to rot in the same cell as Armin. Did you or did you not sanction this?” Jean’s tone edged on accusatory but his anger slipped into insecurity when Erwin laid his hands on the table.

The commander pushed himself up and stared down at Jean, but the younger soldier didn’t falter. “My soldiers have been doing such things to a prisoner?”

“To _Armin_.”

“Marco, is this true?” Erwin looked over at the much more terrified Marco.

“Y-yes, sir. We spent most of the time cleaning the cell and Armin up.”

Levi’s expression softened into a neutral state as he processed the new information.

“I see.” Erwin let out a loud sigh as he paused to reflect what Jean and Marco said. “Levi, please check on Armin and look into this matter. If what they say is true, and I have little reason to doubt these two, please settle this as you see fit. I’m going to reorganize those on duty. You two are dismissed for the evening. And no Jean, I’d never condone such behavior.”

Levi nodded, taking his cue to leave.

Jean and Marco copied the actions of the captain and quickly left. Neither acknowledged the loud string of curses that emerged from the commander’s office as soon as the door shut behind them.

\---

True to his word, the commander instantly changed the guard duty schedule and soon only those that Erwin trusted were watching the kid in the dungeon. Armin was provided actual clothes instead of threadbare shirts and pants and was given a bed with a blanket. He was able to eat and his restraints were removed from the wall, although his hands remained cuffed by manacles. Armin did not argue with the greater mobility and comfort.

Watching the blond over the next few weeks felt like a mandatory bonding exercise for Jean since every passing day he felt that Armin was less and less guilty. Being able to learn more about the world as well as the events that transpired between Trost and the battle at Castle Utgard was quite informative. The most reassuring fact was how little Armin seemed different from the Armin in his world. He still yearned to see the ocean, and Jean refused to tell him what the vast sea felt like the first time they saw it.

Being able to reach the edges of the island was simultaneously the most freeing yet depressing feeling. On the one hand they discovered sights and creatures that remained unseen for more than a century to the people of Paradis. Everyone’s infectious delight made the memory one to not be forgotten. The trade-off that sunk their joy was when they returned to the walls. The ocean was the new, fourth wall protecting them from the enemies of the world that hated them for who their ancestors were. They needed to prove their right to life and that meant engaging a new enemy: Marley.

Armin settled for the scraps of Jean’s adventures like the close calls both boys shared, the sleepless night on expeditions, and even their first discussion in the tree tops. At least those stories were as fascinating to Armin as they were to Jean.

During that extended time with Armin Jean healed rather quickly. His wounds closed, some scarred. The only remaining injury was his right arm which he kept in a sling. It moved much more than it used to but by nurse’s orders and Marco’s watchful eye Jean kept the blasted sling.

Jean glanced at his arm, checking the progress of its movement. His fingers curled in and out of his palm with relative ease, not straining his muscle as much as they used to. He let his elbow wiggle back and forth. That sent a small spike of pain into his shoulder so he stopped. It was progress.

A soft whimper caught Jean’s attention. He quickly but quietly retreated behind the stable, hiding in the shadows. Another sob piqued his interest. He carefully peered around the corner to a spot he saw anyone go. It really was a nice hiding spot, especially while the others were out on a refuel mission. Around the corner Jean saw Bertholdt sitting by a stump hunched over. 

His tall frame shivered a bit until a loud crunch in the grass caught his attention. Bertl’s head snapped in the direction opposite of Jean as more crunching meant whoever was coming didn’t care about being stealthy.

“H-hello?” Bertl spoke, his voice a bit hoarse.

“Yo,” Reiner replied as he emerged from around a tree. “I was wondering where you went.”

“Oh you know… places.” Bertl brought a sleeve to his face to wipe something away.

“I can see that.” Reiner snorted. He continued walking until he stood next to the stump Bertl sat on. “You know there are better places to mourn right?”

Bertl sniffled loudly at that. “Yeah. But this is my favorite.”

Reiner bent down to place a huge hand on Bertl’s shoulder. “They’ll find a way to fix her. I just know they will. Until then, I’m here with you whenever you need me. And I mean whenever.”

“Thanks, Reiner. I hope you’re right. I’m just scared someone will get to her before they fix her. I mean it’s happened to every other-”

Jean’s eavesdropping was cut short as he felt himself forcefully pulled away from the stable and tossed like a sack of potatoes to the ground. He landed on his injured arm, sending a jolt of stinging pain up his arm. “Ow!”

“There you are, you snitch,” a very unhappy voice said.

Jean looked up, still wincing from his pain. In front of him stood three older Survey Corps members still sporting black eyes and bruises. The one who grabbed Jean was person Jean relieved on his very first prison watch shift.

“What do you assholes want?” Jean glared. He sharply inhaled when a foot kicked his side.

“Shut up. You’re the reason we got attacked by the captain and smell like horse shit!”

“No, you’re the reason for that,” Jean disagreed. The leader of the group of fuck-ups pulled Jean up by his collar and pinned him against the stable wall effortlessly. “You got what you deserved.”

“The prisoner got what he deserved and he deserves so much more. Why does he get a bed and blankets while we get straw?”

“Because he didn’t beat helpless people for shits and giggles. Oh wait, that’s what you’re doing right now,” Jean replied, offering his best deadpan look. A fist slammed into the wall next to his head. “Careful, that’s your room right now.”

“Be quiet. That traitor-”

“Supposed traitor.”

Another hand grabbed Jean’s jaw, trying to stop it from moving.

“Traitor. He hid the Armored titan from us.”

“Like you hid his food from him?” Jean continued to add fuel to the fire. He really couldn’t care less for these guys and if this provoked them into assaulting him then they’d really be in the dog house.

Jean’s collar tightened with the leader’s fist. “You just don’t understand the meaning of shutting your mouth, do you?”

The soldier released Jean’s jaw. He pulled his fist back, causing Jean to brace himself for impact. To his surprise the punch never came. Jean opened his eyes to see Reiner’s hand holding the soldier’s bicep back.

“Now that’s not how we treat a fellow soldier, now is it?” Reiner said, his tone uncharacteristically dark. “Especially one of my friends.”

“You’re friends with this shit brain?” The leader inquired, earning a punch from Reiner straight to his injured eyes. “Shit!”

“Yes, that shit brain is my friend and a rather popular soldier. Now I’ll give you three the chance to quietly back away and pretend this didn’t happen, but I really hope you don’t.”

“Reiner, don’t encourage this.” Bertl appeared next to him.

“Fuck you and fuck your friend,” the leader replied from the ground.

“Now that was uncalled for.” Reiner shrugged his shoulders before sending a strong kick into the solder’s ribs.

That was the cue for the other two to jump on Reiner, but that soon proved to be a terrible idea. Bertholdt grabbed the one on Reiner’s back and effortlessly threw him to the ground. He pinned the soldier with his boot while Reiner took a much more active approach. With the last soldier embracing Reiner’s chest as best he could, Reiner opted to body slam the poor soldier onto the leader of the group on the ground. Their howls of pain was music to Jean’s ears.

“Thanks,” Jean spoke to his two saviors. Reiner and Bertl were among the last people he’d ever expect to come to his aid.

“No problem, you looked like you needed a hand.”

“Something like that.”

Reiner offered a hand to help the fallen Jean up, a proposition he didn’t refuse. Jean found himself easily lifted onto his legs.

Jean had just opened his mouth when a loud yelp caught his attention.

“HELP! SO-” a female shouted before being abruptly cut off.

“Knock her out next time.” Someone quickly replied.

“Sorry, sir.” A third voice apologized.

Jean, Reiner, and Bertholdt peaked around the stable to see three men carrying three sacks over their shoulders to three horses waiting patiently behind the Survey Corps headquarters. One horse was a regal white while the other two appeared to be common ones. The men had just arrived at their horses when Marco came stumbling out from the other side of the headquarters.

“Stop! Give those prisoners back!” Marco shouted.

Jean saw that Marco looked battered and cut up, much different from when he relived Jean of his guard duty earlier in the day.

“I thought you knocked the guard out, you dumbass,” one of the men shook his head.

“If you want something done right you have to do it yourself,” the taller middle man stated as he placed his sack on his horse. He turned to face Marco as he stumble-ran towards the group. The man clanged with metal as he approached Marco. He drew a gun and aimed it at Marco.

Jean’s blood froze as he shouted, “No!” 

The three men looked over to see Jean, Reiner, and Bertl watching them.

“Damn it. Get the good and get out of here!” The man with the gun ordered the other two.

“But boss.”

“Go!” The armed man yelled.

Needing no more of a cue, the other two threw their sacks on their horses and quickly took off.

The man with the gun closed the distance between him and Marco, opting to pistol whip Jean’s freckled friend. Marco fell to the ground with a sickening thud. The man ran back to his horse and prepared to take off.

“Marco!” Jean’s eye widened. However when the man returned to his horse the tie around his sack loosened. A mop of blond hair fell out and it was then Jean realized what was going on.

“They took the prisoners!” Reiner spoke before Jean could.

“No shit. Grab your horses because we need to catch them.” Jean retorted as the man mounted his horse to take off after his companions. “Jaeger!”

“Huh?” Reiner gave Jean the most confused look until Jean’s horse came running out of the stable.

“He’s my horse,” Jean explained as he pushed himself up. He had to use his right arm but he fought through the pain.

“You have a horse named… you know what never mind.” Bertl started to comment before giving up. He ran into the stables to quickly pull one out.

“You two follow after me. I gotta get Historia!” Reiner decided his actions before receiving any input from his two friends. The bulkiest member of the 104th squad broke off into a sprint, making it a few meters away before transforming into the Attack titan.

“Hurry up!” Jean called back to Bertl. He whipped the reins to encourage his horse to chase after Reiner. While it wasn’t the original plan of taking Jaeger for a leisurely stroll, Jean had little choice in the matter. His arm be damned.

Catching up to a sprinting titan wasn’t the easiest feat but it was one that Jaeger attempted. Bertl wasn’t too far behind Jean, clinging on to an unsaddled horse for dear life. Somehow Bertl managed to stay on, proving to Jean he was more skilled than he gave him credit for. Up ahead they saw Reiner catching up to the would-be kidnappers. As he drew closer the three men broke off into different directions. Reiner kept his attention on the man with the white horse, letting the other two ride into the woods and off into plains.

Jean looked back to Bertl to see how much his partner saw. Bertholdt pointed a thumb at himself and then at the man traveling into the plains. Jean nodded, taking his reins and guiding Jaeger towards the woods. Bertl managed to persuade his horse to change direction by simply shifting his body toward the other rider. How he acquired that skill was something Jean would have to inquire about later.

Normally riding casually through the forest was Jean’s idea of a perfect day with his trusty horse but when the pressure was on it often lead to disaster. His first expedition, fighting the Military police, and his final battle in the other world were prominent examples at the front of his mind. Chasing after a single horse that had a head start on him was far from ideal. To make matters even worse, the kidnapper entered the forest not on a path so Jean and Jaeger barreled through thick brush in a vain attempt to find the wanted man.

After battling branches and leaves for a few moments, a clearing opened up and gave Jean the moment he needed to reorient himself. He spat out a leaf as he tried to gauge where the kidnapper could have gone, and some flattened tall grass gave him the best indication.

“Hyah!” Jean spurred Jaeger forward.

The trail lasted only the length of the clearing with an unexpected surprise waiting for him at the end. An abandoned brown horse was eating the grass. Jean stared around the area before he could understand why. The brush heading back into the forest was both dense and up a rocky incline. Broken branches and flattened grass trailed all the way up the incline so Jean at least knew where he had to climb.

With a quick pat, Jean left Jaeger to join his fellow horse in eating fresh grass. He climbed with ease despite his arm. Every step up had Jean’s sling bouncing against his chest, pinning his gun and holster against him. He didn’t think he’d ever have to use it this early in this world though.

At the top Jean followed the brush carefully, hearing some bickering up ahead. For this guy to not only abandon his horse but also be loud either meant he was quite stupid or overconfident. He probably never though he’d get caught.

Unlike the kidnapper, Jean chose to remain silent as he hunted him. Carefully he drew his gun upon approach. He listened intently for any indication of which direction to follow. Soon he could hear the comments the man was making.

“You can’t escape.”

Jean quirked an eyebrow as he pushed through the tall grass. That was his line.

“Come back here, cutie.”

Oh great, he was chasing one of _those_ kind of men. He probably ended up chasing the man who captured Historia. Knowing he was on the trail of the potential queen of the Walls made Jean press on faster.

“Don’t you want the rest of your shirt?”

As the comments grew louder so did Jean’s fears. He started breaking twigs and stepping in brush. A brown sack stuck in a small shrub was the strongest indication he was going in the right direction. However a muffled scream froze Jean in his place.

“I knew you couldn’t hide from me.”

Adrenaline spiked in Jean’s body as he powered through the brush, stealth no longer a concern of his. Another clearing up ahead had a large silhouette lumbering around. When he heard the comments clearly coming from there he cautiously pressed himself against a nearby tree he cocked his gun with his left hand. While not his dominant hand, it was the steadier of the two.

“While you’re not my type, there’s something about you. Maybe it’s how you fooled us. Or how innocent you look. Either way, _you_ made me this way so you’re gonna fix it. I hope you’re ready.”

The sound of someone falling roughly against the ground gave Jean the motivation he needed to spin around the tree.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Jean spoke, revealing himself. He stopped his approach just as the man started unbuckling his belt.

The man, a bit on the smaller and fatter side, stared back like a deer caught in headlights. On the ground was a petite blond like Jean expected, just not the one he thought. Armin laid on his side, covered in dirt and brush. Tears formed on the edge of his eyes while his face remained contorted from fear. And just like the man mentioned earlier, half of his shirt was missing, its other half resting at the feet of the kidnapper. The kidnapper wielded a knife in one hand.

“Huh, you found me… well I can share,” he pointed at Armin.

At those words Armin’s eyes widened, furiously shaking his head back and forth.

Jean’s gun dropped a bit, started to hear those words. “Seriously?”

If possible, Armin’s face paled even more. “Yeah, I’m a generous guy. I mean look at him. I used to be normal but he made me like this. I just gotta…”

The man turned his attention back to Armin as memories from the other world flooded Jean. He paused as this shorter man with a receding hairline suddenly became all too familiar. This guy was the sick man from the when Jean and Armin were kidnapped as doubles for Eren and Historia.

Allowing the man to be distracted, Jean closed the distance between him and the would-be rapist. Armin desperately crawled away, not that he could get far with his arms bound. As the man loomed over Armin with a desperate look on his face, like a starved man over a dinner table, Jean finally put an end to the chase. He pressed the gun against the back of the man’s neck.

“You never were normal, you sick bastard,” Jean said before pulling the trigger. His face remained remorseless as blood and tissue sprayed forward, some landing on Armin.

The man clutched his throat as he choked on his blood, falling to his knees and gagging near Armin’s feet.

Jean sidestepped him. He walked over to Armin and holstered his weapon. Jean checked his pockets but realized he didn’t have a knife. Remembering the weapon of the kidnapper, he turned around to acquire it from the man’s trembling body, not even stopping to acknowledge the dying bastard. He returned to Armin who still appeared terrified. Jean cut the rope around his arms and allowed the boy to remove his own gag.

Armin scrambled to his feet and hobbled a few feet away, quickly throwing up the contents of his stomach. His breathing was heavy and ragged but Jean gave him his space. Eventually Armin wiped his mouth on his one remaining sleeve before ripping it off and tossing it to the ground.

“Please take me back to prison,” he quietly requested.

“Okay,” Jean nodded.

Armin only took a few steps before his shaking legs gave out. He tried to get back up but he found himself unable to. Jean offered a hand which Armin took. He easily helped the skinny soldier to his feet. He placed Armin’s hand around his neck and offered himself as a walking stick on their way out of the clearing.

They reached the horses after a considerable amount of time, both shuffling slowly and remaining quiet. Getting down the stony incline was tricky but doable.

“Can you ride a horse?” Jean wondered as Armin started at the brown horse, his eyes seemingly fearful of the creature.

“I… I don’t think so,” Armin muttered, sounding embarrassed.

“It’s ok. Get on Jaeger and I can get us back,” Jean offered.

Armin’s frown faltered for a moment as he stared at Jean and then at his horse who whinnied at the name. A tiny smile broke onto Armin’s sad face. “I forgot you named him that.”

“After the most stubborn person I know.” Jean shrugged as Armin carefully climbed onto the saddle. He placed a hand just behind Armin for support in case he slipped but thankfully that was not the case. When Armin got comfy, Jean pulled himself up and positioned himself behind Armin. The blond handed him the reins. “Thanks.”

“No problem. I guess you couldn’t name a horse after yourself.”

With a quick whip they were off to find a path to get them out of the woods.

“What does that mean?” Jean scoffed.

“Nothing,” Armin chuckled. At least he was somewhat lively. “Jean, did that ever happen to me in the other world?”

A chill ran down Jean’s spine as he thought about that question.

“Not as close but something like it.”

“How’d it end?”

“Umm… with him in ropes. I dealt with him as best I could but I don’t recall what became of him. We took him prisoner.”

Jean felt Armin tense up.

“So you didn’t kill him then?”

“No, but I don’t regret doing it. He said similar bullshit in the other world.”

Armin relaxed a bit more upon hearing those words.

“How long did it take me to get over it?”

“As long as you needed. You’re not you from my world, ‘Min. Don’t try to force yourself to get over this because that won’t end well.”

“’Min?” Armin’s voice barely squeaked.

“Yeah?”

That was what Armin picked up from those words?

“Eren and Mikasa called me that when we were younger. I… I never expected to hear those words from you.”

“Some of us called you that. Sorry if it’s weird.”

“No its fine. It’s nostalgic. I need that right now.”

Jean hummed a bit, content with that answer. He stiffened a bit when Armin leaned back into him but let it go just as fast. He needed to focus on getting them out of these woods and Armin needed all the support he could get if was going to get through what just occurred. And if that meant being a glorified chair, so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter to make up for the fact I'm gonna be unable to update for a little while. Work has me doing back-to-back 12 hour shifts for a while so writing just isn't happening until its over. Until then I hope this will pass the time.
> 
> If it wasn't obvious by now Jean is pretty dense to his own emotions as well as those around him. He's also pretty capable with a gun, not that we saw that here. This does kick off the start of the Uprising Arc/Coup so look forward to seeing how that plays out. And another shifter is revealed so I hope you all are enjoying the new info!
> 
> As always feedback is very much appreciated. I love to read your guys' thoughts and opinions on the story, it makes writing this so much more engaging and cool. Looking at you Luna. Thanks again and please leave a comment!
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22) if you wanna chat or see what else I'm writing.


	8. The Better Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean returns with Armin to discover the time for the coup is quicker than he had anticipated and he learns a bit more about Reiner, Connie, and Sasha than he would've liked.

Recovering Armin and navigating Jaeger through the woods took significantly more time than Jean anticipated. When they returned to the Survey Corps headquarters, the other two would-be kidnappers were already tied up on the ground. Levi and Hange stood over them with puzzled yet frustrated faces. Levi looked like he already wanted to beat the two even more. Next to the new prisoners stood Reiner, Bertholdt, Historia, Ymir, and a bruised but alive Marco.

Seeing Marco moving relaxed Jean right away. He exhaled a deep breath, earning a wiggle from Armin.

“Comfortable?” Jean asked, partially out of concern but mostly to tease. Hopefully Armin could use some of that.

“Not until I’m back in my cell.” Armin’s quiet voice made Jean’s scowl deepen but this wasn’t exactly something Armin could shrug off immediately.

“Just want to be away from others?”

Armin hummed a neutral tone as he thought about it. “Yes. But not everyone. You’re okay.”

Jean smiled a bit since he at least gained someone’s trust besides Marco’s.

Jaeger whinnied as they approached the group, catching everyone’s attention. Hange’s face immediately lit up when she saw the two.

“Jean, Armin. You’re both alive!” Hange waved at them.

Jean and Armin offered smiles just in time for Marco to see them. Their freckled friend reciprocated their joy and relief. Jean brought Jaeger to a halt next to the others. He dismounted first before offering a hand for Armin.

He took Jean’s hand as he carefully slipped off. Jean held his hand firmly in case Armin’s wobbly legs gave out. While still shaky, Armin seemed to have recovered enough strength to stand on his own so Jean let him go.

“Where’s the third shit stain?” Levi questioned. “And why is Arlert missing his shirt?”

“He lost it while escaping from his kidnapper,” Jean answered the second question.

“Where’s Jim?” one of the tied up men asked.

“He died trying to attack my friend.” Jean glared at the two on the ground. A few seconds into his glare he caught sight of all the jewelry hanging around the neck of the man who tried to shoot Marco. They were part of the garb of the Church of the Walls.

“I see. Well we were trying to understand why a priest of the Walls and some others were trying to kidnap Historia, Ymir, and Armin. And they aren’t saying a thing.” Hange informed Jean after sending a swift kick into the priest’s guts.

“We have nothing to say to you,” the priest replied through gritted teeth.

“Makes sense. I’ve seen you dangle one off the walls and he wouldn’t speak. Their secrets are much more valuable than their lives,” Jean shrugged. He recalled the frustrations they felt when they first tried to interrogate a priest after the female titan was captured. He at least had a few guesses as to what the man was hiding. If they were dealing with a priest now that meant a storm of trouble was incoming.

“I did what now?” Hange furrowed their brow.

Levi scoffed at the thought. “So you’re saying they’ll die before they talk. I’m sure we have ways of making them talk.”

Jean shook his head. “Torture won’t work either. Although you could leave them with Zackly and they could finally eat all the shit they’ve been preaching.”

“What?” Levi squinted at Jean.

Shuddering at that memory, Jean offered an alternative. “Or we could guess why they’d risk coming to Survey Corps Headquarters in broad daylight to abduct some prisoners.”

That got the priest laughing. “You could never understand the burden we bare.”

“Really?” Jean smirked at the man. Getting under peoples’ skins was a hobby of Jean’s but he never thought he could try it on a member of the Church of the Walls. This was going to be fun. “Which part won’t I get? Your friend is from Reeves Company from Trost so I’m willing to bet you’re a priest from Trost as well.”

The priest’s partner’s eyes widened. He cursed, “Jim you big mouthed idiot.”

“Dead men can’t talk. I’m willing to bet the Military Police put you and your company up to this. The priest I imagine has something to do with Historia. Can’t let a member of the royal family risk her life anymore, can you?” Jean guessed.

The look of shock in the priest’s eyes meant Jean pressed the right buttons. “N-No.”

Historia also looked at Jean with surprise.

Jean’s grin widened. He had so many button he could keep pressing. “Oh, not that? Could it be one of them knows about what’s inside the walls?”

Sweat began forming on the priest’s forehead now, and the man was unable to hide his trembling. “There’s nothing inside those walls. And that has nothing to do with this!”

“Nothing but titans in them, right?” Jean shrugged.

That announcement earned a few gasps from the others. The priest continued to pale further as he completely froze. “Blasphemy! You slander the walls with baseless accusations!”

“Uh huh. What I don’t get is why you’d kidnap all three of the prisoners. Is it because they know something you don’t want us to know? About the illegitimate king? About the other titans and the outside world? Or perhaps about the Coordinate?”

That last comment snapped the priest from his shock to anger. “How dare you?! How is a commoner such as you privy to such secrets?! Only the most esteemed of the Church are aware of-”

The man’s rage was silenced by a loud gunshot. Blood gushed from the priest’s forehead as he slumped over with a look of rage and shock forever etched onto his face. His partner started to panic before another gunshot killed him as well. Everyone ducked to the ground but Levi and Jean were already scanning the buildings for signs of the shooter. The faint sounds of 3DMG caught their attention but they couldn’t see where it came from.

“Someone find that killer! Jean, Marco get the prisoners inside,” Levi ordered as the other scouts began running around.

Doing as told, Jean and Marco escorted Ymir, Historia, and Armin inside.

The scouts hid in the cafeteria as people ran around in distress. Everyone remained like this for the hour following the shooting but no one was able to locate the perpetrator. Ultimately the decision of how to process all that happened took place after Erwin returned with the rest of the Survey Corps that left for resupplying that morning. He was none too pleased when he learned of the day’s events.

Shoving the Levi, Hange, Jean, Reiner, Bertl, Marco, Ymir, Historia, and Armin in Erwin’s office was no easy feat but they made themselves comfortable as Levi and Hange informed Erwin of every detail. While the commander seemed a bit ticked off at the events, he nodded along until they were finished.

“I see. Well this accelerates things definitely. Can the victims please shed some light onto why they were taken?” Erwin asked aloud.

“Th-they wanted me because they thought I overheard what they said to Ymir and Historia. But I didn’t hear a thing,” Armin spoke softly first, pinned between the edge of a couch and Jean.

“It was as Jean said,” Historia quickly interjected just as Ymir opened her mouth. “I am an heir to Reiss family who are the true rulers of the wall.”

“And they just now figured this out?” Erwin cocked an eyebrow. “Frankly that seems to defy belief. You’ve never changed your name and I’m sure you’re aware of the arrangement your father made with the Survey Corps. And why is the Church of the Walls coming in to take you and Ymir?”

“You really think I’d let them take Historia without me?” Ymir glared.

“Nevermind that, I’m curious about the shit Kirschtein said that scared the priest shitless before he croaked. The hell do you mean titans are inside the walls?” Levi narrowed his eyes.

Erwin interlaced his fingers and rested his chin on them as he observed Jean.

“Exactly what I said. Giant titans are inside the walls. Where do you think the walls came from, or the material that built them. They are too perfect to have been made by our ancestors. The first king built the walls to protect us from the titans.” Jean explained.

“But you just said they were titans. How could the first king have built the walls if titans did it?” Erwin pondered aloud.

“He controlled the titans,” Jean succinctly answered. That surprised a few more people in the room. “The first king was a shifter with an ability called the Coordinate. It controls the titans and it’s the birthright of the Reiss family that makes them the royals. But it’s also their curse. The ability is supposed to be passed down from generation to generation but all the members who inherit it are bound by the desires of the first king.”

“Wait a moment, there is an ability to control titans?” Hange broke into the conversation.

“Yeah, that’s what made Jaeger so special in my world. He acquired it and had a decent handling on it by the time I disappeared. It’s difficult to use but tremendously effective when it can be. It’s why the other titan shifters attacked us. Their mission is to find it and acquire it.”

Those in the room stared at Historia when Jean revealed that information.

“You’re mostly correct…” She quietly confirmed.

“Historia…” Reiner mumbled as he looked to the ground.

“I assumed Reiner acquired it since he has the Attack titan.” Jean shifted the attention in the room to the big blond.

“No, I just have this titan form. My clan has been in possession of the Attack titan since as long as I knew and it was our honor to guard the royal family with it.” Reiner frowned.

“Which is more or less the details of the deal Rod Reiss made with the Survey Corps. In exchange for supplies, extra funding, and his daughter joining us out of her own volition, she was to always be around Reiner for protection.” Erwin nodded. “But he never mentioned anything about this Coordinate.”

“Because… What I’m about to say is a secret that cannot leave this room. The royal family lost it a while back after my uncle disappeared. We don’t know where it is but it’s gone.” Historia confessed. She hunched over a bit into Ymir, who protectively hugged her.

“Great. That hasn’t changed,” Jean rolled his eyes.

“Regardless, we now have dead member of the church in our midst and a variety of interesting prisoners. Not that you count as one Historia. This will only serve to discredit the Survey Corps even more,” Erwin stated as he stood up. He walked over to the window that overlooked the courtyard, folding his arms behind his back. “I was summoned today to the capital to have an audience with the king and the full military. I suspect this mishap will come up.”

“It will. They used the same bullshit in my world.” Jean sighed as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair. Marco glanced over at him for a second.

“I see. What else happened so I’m not going into this blind?”

“You staged a successful coup at the cost of many lives. It only worked because of the flimsiest of reasons. The right people caved in at the right time.”

“A coup?” Hange seemed surprised but amused by the thought.

“Dethroned Fritz and his supporters in favor of Historia.”

Historia quickly shot a startled look at Jean. “And I went through with it?”

“Yup since you were the only Reiss left.”

“But my brothers and sisters… They’re all still alive along with my dad!”

“Then we use one of them,” Erwin shrugged. “This has been a long time coming to be honest. The Military itself has been split but there was never enough reason or support for it because it made no sense. Remove the king in favor of what? The public wouldn’t accept it and we’d dissolve into civil war. But the legitimate ruler? That could work.”

“I won’t do it!” Historia vehemently shook her head.

“You don’t have a choice,” Levi stated as he walked over to her. “You were almost kidnapped because of who you are. Someone is gunning for you so the time to passively ignore this is gone. If and when the opportunity comes, you will rise to the task.”

Ymir pulled Historia closer to her and leered at the captain. “She’ll do what she wants when the time comes.”

Levi grabbed Ymir by the collar and pulled her down to his level. “If she doesn’t then the Church will kill her or do who knows what. This ain’t some game. Welcome to the real world.”

Levi let go of her and returned to his post next to Erwin’s desk.

“We’ll cross that bridge when the time comes but I’ll be on my way soon enough. I’ll send my plans with Levi once the time comes. For now, Hange will be in charge of the remaining members in my absence.”

“Be careful, sir. Assassins will gunning for us now. They succeeded in killing most of your squad in my world,” Jean warned.

Erwin’s body stiffened but Jean couldn’t see his expression from the angle he sat. “In that case I’ll warn them. The secret police is after us I suppose.”

“Or we could let them get what they want,” Jean suggested, causing Erwin to turn and face him.

“The hell are you on about, Kirschtein?” Levi gave him a dull stare.

“We tricked Reeves Company into thinking they kidnapped Eren and Historia since that was who they wanted. Armin and I dressed up as Jaeger and Historia to get taken. Levi Squad followed them, saved us, and we reached a deal with Reeves Company to understand the situation better. That deal was crucial to overthrowing the government.”

“Me?!” Armin’s panicked eyes met Jean’s somber ones.

“Yeah, that’s how we met the guy in the woods in my world. So… he won’t be a problem.”

Armin lowered his eyes into his lap.

“Then we’ll do it. If they want Historia they’ll try again so Armin can play the part.” Erwin decided. He took a seat and a made a fox-like grin.

“What about me?” Ymir stared at the commander. I’m not leaving Historia’s side.”

“Oh I have a solution for that.”

Erwin’s eyes then turned their attention to Marco.

Marco blinked a few times before noticing that the others were starting to stare at him. “What?”

\---

“This is going to be such a terrible idea,” Marco complained. He took a seat in the creaky old chair outside Armin’s cell.

“A-agreed,” Armin mumbled while he crawled into his bed.

“Nah, it’ll work perfectly,” Jean smiled. He leaned against the wall next to Marco with the biggest shit-eating grin he could muster.

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one pretending to be a girl,” Armin frowned. “Or putting himself in a position like _that_ again.”

Jean’s grin fell flat with that comment. “You’re not wrong but I have to pretend to be Jaeger for the umpteenth time.”

Marco chuckled at the utter disdain evident in Jean’s voice.

“Look on the bright side, you’ll be out of this jail cell soon enough. They trust you again. I think,” Marco found the silver lining in the situation, at least what he thought it was.

“Only because I fit their needs,” Armin snorted, not oblivious to the truth. “But it is an opportunity I suppose. I’d rather stay in this cell for the time being though.”

“What, why? Don’t you want to be with us back in the barracks? You still have your bed but with sunlight and actual human contact.”

The mention of human contact had Armin clutching his thin blanket.

Jean’s mouth deepened into a frown when he saw that. “I don’t think that’s what he needs right now, Marco.”

“What do you mean? Don’t you want to be back with the others, Armin?”

“No- I mean of course but… It’s not that simple. I need my space right now,” Armin struggled to explain.

As perceptive as ever, Marco leaned forward in his chair and looked into the cell. “Are you okay, Armin?”

“He’s fine, Marco,” Jean tried to remove Marco’s curiosity but only succeeded in drawing more attention to it.

“No he’s not, Jean.” Marco shook his head. He pressed his hands to his knees to force himself up. Walking over to the bars of the cell, he observed Armin like an animal at the zoo. “Something happened.”

“You’re reading too much into it Marco.”

“You can’t lie to him, Jean,” Armin said from the comfort of his bed. Slowly he sat up to face him two guards. “He knows me almost as well as Eren and Mikasa.”

Marco squinted into the cell to look at Armin better. In the flickering candlelight faint specks of light were reflecting off the corners of Armin’s eyes. “Are you crying?”

“Trying to but it’s hard with the two of you bickering like an old married couple,” Armin joked, causing a blush to rise on Marco’s face.

Jean rolled his eyes at the notion.

“What’s wrong?”

Armin swallowed heavily as he tried to piece words together in his mouth. “The guy who kidnaped me… he tried to… he wanted to have his way with me.”

Marco’s shoulders fell at those words. His face paled as he opened the door to the cell and instantly went over to Armin’s side. His smaller friend sunk into the covers a bit but he didn’t retreat as much as Jean expected. Marco carefully looked over his exposed body but refrained from touching Armin in any way.

“Your reactions make so much more sense now. Are you alright? I mean as much-” Marco began fussing like a mother hen.

“Yes. Well as much as I can be. I just need some time and space to process,” Armin believed. He trembled a bit as he thought about it but Marco’s sudden attention seemed to ease him. “Jean saved me.”

Jean hadn’t prepared himself for Marco’s quick head turn. Marco’s concerned stare met Jean’s jaded eyes.

“Jean, what did you do?” Marco asked the question he already knew the answer to, yet couldn’t bring himself to truly believe.

“Shot the shithead before he could lay a hand on Armin,” Jean spoke but the words left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

“You killed a man?”

“I’ve killed more honorable men for less,” Jean admitted. He saw the concern in Marco’s eyes fade. Marco probably was judging him harshly for such a cold statement. “I said I came from a war with other humans. You’re gonna have to make peace with the idea soon enough if this coup goes the way it did in my world. When the time comes you’ll be faced with a tough choice and hesitation will only cost you your life or your friend’s life.”

“I see... Well thank you for saving Armin. He’s a close friend.” Marco’s disappointed frown stung Jean more than any insult Eren ever threw at him. Watching Marco raise such a fuss over Armin was reassuring yet bothered it Jean. He felt almost envious of the attention Armin was receiving, but Jean quickly banished those childish thoughts.

\---

In the following days Jean and the Survey Corps watched as Erwin was escorted from his office by the head of the Military Police and Levi. It was quick, quiet, and meticulous. The bodies from the day before were also acquired as evidence, leaving the Survey Corps without many answers. Jean didn’t let that ruin his breakfast though. While things were about to get unpleasant he knew events could still play out in favor of the Survey Corps.

What spoiled his appetite was the unexpected guest who sat right next to him, taking Marco’s usual spot. And as much as Jean hated to admit Levi was right, he smell Hange before he saw them.

“So Jean, the day has come,” Hange greeted. They didn’t even have a plate of food as an excuse to sit by Jean.

“That you’re the commander?” Jean guessed.

A pair of footsteps paused a few feet from Jean. Marco frowned when he saw the substitute commander at the table.

“Nope. I need your assistance right after breakfast,” Hange corrected with a wide grin. “Preferably right now.”

“I just got…” Jean began but he saw the determined look in Hange’s eyes. “Fine, I can take it to go.”

Hange grabbed Jean by his shoulder and dragged him away from the table, not even letting him grab his food. He tried to reach for but it was in vain.

Marco watched with a puzzled but sympathetic look as Jean was forced out of cafeteria and towards the back of the castle. Usually these were training grounds but today they were quite deserted. In the field sat a backpack, Moblit, and Jaeger with two other horses.

“Moblit, we’re ready!” Hange announced.

Her assistant nodded before taking a swig from a flask. He pocketed the shiny metal object and grabbed the pack.

“Yes, sir,” Moblit replied. He climbed onto the sturdiest of the three horses and waited for the other two to join.

When they mounted their horses, Hange immediately lead the other two into the woods away from the castle. The journey was only a few minutes but it put some distance between them and the others back at the headquarters.

To say Jean was unnerved was an understatement. Watching Hange perform their crazy experiments was a spectacle for all those not involved. Usually that meant Jaeger the shifter pushing his boundaries, not whatever Jean feared was about to pass.

Hange stopped in a clearing in the woods filled with rocks of varying sizes and plenty of tall grass. They parked their horse on the edge of the clearing. Moblit and Jean copied Hange. They followed Hange to the center of the clearing where they stopped in front of a rather large boulder.

“Here, Moblit,” Hange stated.

Her assistant nodded, dropping the backpack right there. The loud clanking of metal on metal caught Jean’s attention. His curiosity would be the death of him probably.

“Shall I prepare the weapon or have Jean do it?” Moblit asked.

“Jean, please assemble what’s in the bag.”

With a heavy sigh, Jean shuffled over to the backpack. Moblit was already dumping the contents for Jean to see. His eyes widened from surprise when a thunder spear rolled out on top of the 3DMG that was in the bag. He had forgotten about the weapons he entered this world with including the special 3DMG that was required for the thunder spears.

“A thunder spear?” Jean spoke.

“Oh, is that what it’s called? I like it,” Hange grinned. “I was hoping you could show me how it works.”

“Well you named it so I hope you like it,” Jean shook his head.

Doing as requested he swiftly donned his old 3DMG and equipped the spears on the end of his gear. Unlike the titan slaying gear they were used to, this design was base doff the anti-personnel ones used by the secret Military Police in Jean’s world. Without any warning he launched the thunder spear into the rock in front of him, scarring Moblit and Hange.

“Hey!” Moblit shouted as he fell backwards onto his ass. His arms flew in front of his face.

“Don’t worry, it’s a two stage weapon,” Jean shook his head. “Though we should get behind cover now.”

Moblit scrambled backwards to a nearby tree while Hange waited for Jean to slowly retreat. They both retreated to a nearby rock where a rope followed them.

“What’s next?”

Jean responded by producing a knife from his pocket. He cut the cable, setting off a tremendous explosion. Bits of rock and soil showered down on them. They both almost missed the surprised shout from Moblit. Almost. “That’s next.”

“Ooh, that’s a two staged explosive so the user can retreat and not get caught in the explosion.”

“Yeah, although you were hard at work on creating a modified version that didn’t need all this extra equipment. By the time we got into the war we had to use these older models on the front lines.”

“Interesting. And this was used for taking down the titans?”

“The Armored titan initially but it could penetrate some of the armor of other types. It’s a dangerous but powerful weapon.” Jean elaborated.

“I see. I was curious how it worked but thanks to you I have somewhere to start. You’re dismissed, Jean. I may find you if I have more questions.” Hange waved Jean off. “Moblit, get another one. Let’s see how a tree holds up.”

While thankful he got off relatively unharmed, he still feared for what other ideas Hange had down the road.

\---

Jean knew it was becoming a bad habit but he couldn’t help himself. He peered through the crack of the doorway into the male dorm to see Marco still resting peacefully under the pale moonlight. Another nightmare, another panic attack, another check-up. This weekly event was getting old real fast. Content with seeing Marco safe and sound, Jean opted to head for the next best thing to soothe his nerves. Some water from the spigot outside could help.

He returned to his room to grab a lit candle and proceeded outside. His steps creaked loudly throughout the headquarters for anyone awake at that ungodly hour to hear.

Outside the crisp air sent shivers down Jean’s spine; it felt quite refreshing compared to dry hot air of the building. The candle provided enough light for Jean to avoid most obstacles. Upon reaching the spigot, Jean placed the candle on a stump a small ways away before turning on the water. The ice cold water flowed down through Jean’s hands. His cupped hands brought the precious liquid to his lips. After a few minutes of drinking, he turned off the water and prepared to go back. As soon as he grabbed the candle he heard a loud creak from the supply shed near the spigot.

“Probably just the wind,” Jean mumbled as he froze in place. He turned to leave when he heard a crashing sound. “Son of a bitch.”

Jean’s heart began racing as he carefully approached where they stored their food and weapons. His shaky hand slowly made its way for the latch. Just as he grabbed the latch the door flew open, forcing Jean to shout as he fell backwards onto his ass.

At eye level with Jean was something on all fours. Long, messy brown hair covered its face but a low grown came from its throat. Jean’s blood ran cold as he never saw a creature like it in his life. It crawled forward a bit, coming into the candlelight and revealing a piece of bread in its mouth. When Jean saw the pastry his eyes began to narrow.

“Quick, run!” someone shouted as they darted out the same door the creature emerged from.

Under the moonlight Jean saw the shine of Connie’s bald head. He was also missing pants.

The creature took off on all fours after Connie. From behind Jean could see it wore a tan shirt and also was lacking pants.

“What the fuck?” Jean couldn’t help but state.

“That’s what I said,” Reiner grunted as he emerged from the supply shed, rubbing his head. Jean shouted again before Reiner placed a finger over his lips. “Shush! We don’t wanna get caught.”

“What are you doing here?!” Jean demanded to know with a harsh sounding whisper.

Reiner lifted his handed to show a nondescript flask. “Was grabbing this but someone bumped into me. You might want to put that out by the way.”

Reiner pointed at the fallen candle that thankfully landed in a patch of dirt.

“Yeah, thanks,” Jean said. He smothered the flame when he saw lights emerging form the headquarters.

“Come on, we gotta get out of here before they find us. Last time someone was caught in here Levi made them clean the toilets with a toothbrush.”

“I wasn’t in there though,” Jean started to defend himself before he heard voices coming from the castle. He turned to see the lights approaching the doors.

“They won’t give a shit, come on!” Reiner offered a hand that Jean couldn’t refuse. He hoisted the smaller soldier to his feet with minimal effort. Reiner took off towards the woods with Jean hot on his tail.

“Hey! Whose out there?!” A loud voice behind them shouted.

Jean had little choice but to trust Reiner as the giant soldier ran through the brush. Many branches hit him in the face and he was pretty sure he ate a bug but no one seemed to follow them. Jean collided with Reiner when he suddenly came to a stop in a nondescript clearing.

“We should be good here,” Reiner decided after glancing around for a bit. “No one was found this spot yet.”

“Where are we?” Jean asked between pants.

“Little place I found a while back. Much prettier at sunset and I wanted Bertl to be the first to see it but this happened,” Reiner explained. He sat on a rock, popping open the flask and taking a healthy gulp. He offered the metal container to Jean. “Want some?”

Jean bit his lower lip as he mulled it over but he knew it was already too late. “In for a piece, in for a pound.”

Jean made the mistake of taking a big gulp, not expecting the burning sensation that came with drinking alcohol. He instantly started coughing some of it back up, only succeeding in making the feeling worse.

“Whoa, don’t waste that!” Reiner pulled the flask back from Jean before he could drop it on accident. “We didn’t sprint in the dark for nothing.”

“You swiped alcohol?!” Jean managed get out during his coughing fit.

“Not just any alcohol, the commander’s,” Reiner grinned widely. “This is the good shit.”

It took a few more moments but Jean eventually regained control of his body.

“You could’ve mentioned that before I tried to drink it like water.”

“I didn’t think you’d try to be a fish.”

Jean rolled his eyes. “I didn’t think you and Connie would be stupid enough to steal from the supply shed.”

“That was Connie? Oh then that must’ve been Sasha crawling around,” Reiner deduced after taking another long swig. “They better not have been messing around our food. I know Sasha likes food but even I draw the line somewhere.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Jean held his hand out expectantly as he thought about it. “Messing around our food? Weren’t they just stealing food like usual?”

“Sometimes yes sometimes they like to fool around.” Reiner shrugged, handing the flask over.

“Without pants?” Jean mentioned. He took a much smaller swig compared to last time, knowing what to expect this time. The burning sensation was a lot more pleasant.

“That settles that then. If they fucked on the bread I’m gonna string Springer up,” Reiner shook his head. That comment had Jean sputtering and coughing again. “Can’t handle your drink, Kirschtein?”

“Th-They are screwing each other? As in like… sex?” Jean’s eyes widened from the shock.

“Yeah, it’s something couples do…”

“They are a couple?”

A loud slap echoed from the impact of Reiner’s palm to his forehead. “Yes. How have you not noticed that? You’ve been here for a while now! You’re losing drinking privileges.”

“No!” Jean recoiled away from Reiner’s hands, taking a long swig before Reiner fished the flask from Jean’s mouth. “Why would they date?”

Reiner shook the container to assess the remaining drink. He groaned at how empty it sounded.

“Why wouldn’t they? Didn’t they do that in your world?”

“No. No one did.”

“Really? Even Historia and Ymir? Or Levi’s old squad members?”

Deciding to finish it up, Reiner downed the rest of the flask before chucking it into the trees.

“No. No one had the chance or wanted to risk themselves for someone else. Being in love makes unnecessary connections,” Jean explained.

Reiner nodded along but shook his head at the end. “That’s both terrible and sad. The hell were you fighting for in your world?”

“Humanity of course. Aren’t you guys doing the same?” Jean frowned at the notion they were fighting for the wrong cause.

“Of course but also ourselves. You can’t tell me you didn’t like anyone in your world.” Reiner furrowed his brow thinking about it. “I wonder if other me liked him too.”

“Yeah we liked people. I crushed on Mikasa like any normal person would, and I’m sure as shit she loved Eren, who loved only the thought of killing titans for the longest time. We liked people but we never acted on them.”

Reiner frowned. “Either you’re a very selfless lot or a miserable bunch. Everyone here has someone or a dream to fight for, which sometimes includes others.”

“What about the liability during battle, the odds of actually living to grow old with someone?”

Hearing this argument from the other perspective seemed so foreign to Jean. They trained to repress their desires, at least as much as humanly possible lest they fall prey to getting themselves killed with someone else.

“Well, yeah, but it’s a reality we accept. Connie and Sasha fight for a future together, I protect Historia, and Ymir wants to bang her. All different missions but we have our self-interest at heart.”

“Yours doesn’t sound selfish.”

“Because I don’t have a choice. I can’t be with anyone because no one wants to be with a titan shifter. I’ll do my job until I’m unable and get eaten. It’s the life of my clan,” Reiner sighed. He reached into his pocket and retrieved another flask.

“That sucks,” Jean frowned, unable to think of anything else to say.

“No shit,” Reiner snorted. He resumed drinking once more. “Especially when you know who you want but you can’t… you can’t burden them like that. At least those in battle have a chance. I aint got shit. But enough about me. What about you? What’s your goal?”

“Fuck if I know. What happens to those that lose their partners?” Disliking being the focus of that particular conversation, Jean shifted it back.

“You move on or harden your heart. You’re either Hannah or Marco.”

Hearing that last one caught Jean’s attention. “Marco dated someone?”

Reiner’s eyes widened once he realized what he said. He stopped drinking and handed the flask over to Jean. “Did I say Marco? Because that was a lie.”

Jean gave Reiner his best Levi impression before taking another drink. “Why did you say Marco? Who did he date? What was her name?”

The larger boy sighed, shaking his head at his clumsiness. “No one, seriously. Just forget I said his name.”

“Reiner…” Jean grew more and more impatient.

“I’m not kidding he didn’t date anyone. And he never said he dated the guy anyways.”

“He liked a guy?” Jean blinked a few moments before realizing he said that out loud.

“What? That not normal in your world or something? You have a problem with that?” Reiner narrowed his eyes at Jean, unnerving him a bit.

“Huh, no! I mean it wasn’t uncommon for guys to kiss and shit. Hell, even I’m not just attracted to girls.”

Jean waved his hands in front of his chest defensively. He paused only to drink more since this conversation was going in a direction he didn’t expect.

“Oh you’re like me then!” Reiner’s frown turned into a wide grin. He opened his arms and embraced Jean tightly. “Welcome to the club!”

“Thanks?”

He let Jean fall back to the earth clumsily, almost spilling the alcohol on the way down.

“I think Marco liked a guy but he never said. Nor am I going to ask him. After he died though, Marco was never the same.” Reiner’s grin fell back into a frown. “You never heard this from me though. And don’t bring it back up with Marco. He’ll think I betrayed his trust.”

“Well you did.” Jean shrugged.

“You still haven’t said what your goal is now, Kirschtein. You’re in our world now so that must’ve changed things.”

“I mean I want to go back home but that requires getting outside the walls. And even then that’s a big if. Until then I help you guys.” Jean frowned as the words left his mouth. His stomach sank as he said them. Something about the way he said it didn’t sit well with him.

“That makes sense. Might be a while though so might as well make yourself comfortable. Anyone here strike your fancy? Mikasa?” Reiner tried to guess as a smug smile returned to his face.

Jean deadpanned. “She kidnapped me with Jaeger, so no.”

“Historia?”

“Ymir would castrate me with a rusty spoon.”

“That is not incorrect. Do you like Armin? Oh is that why you’re so nice to him. He’s girly enough that I could see you liking that.” Reiner snapped a finger.

“What? No! He’s a good friend but no!” Jean blushed a bit at the thought. He might’ve had a dream once about that in the other world but that didn’t mean he liked the boy.

“Really? What about Eren from your world? You did name your horse after him,” Reiner rubbed his chin, seemingly pleased with himself at realizing that.

“I’d rather be fucked by the rusty spoon. That horse exists due to my hatred for him.”

“You do like to _ride_ Jaeger though,” Reiner smirked.

Jean scowled at the pun.

“I’ll kill you for that joke.”

“I wonder what your position would be. Guess it depends on the guy. How about Marco?”

“What about Marco? He was- is my best friend,” Jean quickly corrected himself.

“And? You can have a crush on your best friend. Join the club. Population me and- uh, no one else.”

That sudden change of tone at the end of Reiner’s sentence did little to convince Jean of what he said.

“You and who else?” Jean wondered, his stomach twisting in knots.

“Me and Armin?” Reiner’s voice went an octave higher as Jean stared suspiciously at him.

“I always knew he liked that suicidal bastard!” Jean pounded his fist into his palm.

Reiner pulled out another flask and loosened the top. “Welcome to the club!”

Jean shook his head as he raised his flask to Reiner’s. “I’m not in your club but sure, why not. How many of these things did you take?”

Reiner started downing it, holding a finger up until he polished off the drink. An impressive feat in Jean’s book.

“The better question is how many did Commander Smith take to the capital.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After much delay here you all go. Work and life have really caught up to me in this past month so I hope this slightly longer chapter is what everyone needs/enjoys. A little more about Historia's and Reiner's pasts are revealed as well as Jean obliviousness to love. Bonus points to those who can figure out what the plan for the coup is and extra bonus for those who try and tell me. If next chapter goes as planned it should be a very fruitful one!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading. Please leave any feedback below or feel free to message me/reblog on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22)!


	9. Die for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the time comes for the fake kidnapping to begin, Jean quickly discovers things do not go according to plan. Jean adapts as best he can to the changing circumstances but there some situations even he can't solve. However one thing remains certain: he won't lose Marco again.

The long-awaited signal to begin their operation arrived in the form of a lone horseman trotting into the headquarters late at night. When the horse’s cries and heavy footsteps didn’t stir Jean, the loud pounding at his bedroom door did. He let out a loud yawn as he moved to answer it. Behind the wooden slab he found an equally tired Connie.

“Yes?,” Jean greeted. He tried to wipe the sleep away from his eyes.

“Levi’s back. We leave for Trost in fifteen. He said ‘the time has come’. It sounded cryptic so I guess he’s serious,” Connie explained. With a final yawn he turned to head back down the hall. “We’re meeting in the dining room in a few.”

Jean nodded in agreement and did his best to wake up in the limited time. At a painfully slow pace he packed his belongings in his backpack. He made sure to grab some of the clothes provided by Marco, any food he stashed away, and his gun.He stashed any trinkets from his old world in the backpack as well. The stuff he brought had to be light yet diverse for the trying times ahead.

Candles illuminated the tables of the dining hall as the Survey Corps filed in. Jean made his way to the 104th’s usual table, noting on his way how the other soldiers looked as exhausted as he was. Reiner and Bertl were already chatting on one end while the Ymir, Historia, Sasha, and Connie conversed amongst themselves in the middle. As soon as Jean began to wonder where Marco was, he walked in with Armin. Despite being exonerated almost a week earlier, Armin still preferred the privacy of the dungeon.

After a few moments, Levi finally entered, a backpack slung over his shoulder and Hange at his side. 

“Good job on getting here at the asscrack of dawn,” Levi began, “I’ll keep things short. Erwin said it’s time start our plan.”

“Uh, sir?,” a tired soldier from across the room interrupted, earning a disapproving glare from Levi, “I mean, captain. What _is_ the plan?”

“The plan is for my squad to corner the dumbasses who tried to kidnap our prisoners. The rest of the Corps will remain under Hange’s orders.”

“Well said, Levi. I have a list of tasks we need to take care of, so listen to your squad commanders once they receive their orders,” Hange said with a manic grin .

“Why start in the dead of night?,” another soldier yawned.

“Urgent information came to light so we must act now. Levi Squad, let’s go,” Levi gestured toward the door. Jean and his squadmates followed their commander out of the dining hall and to the stables.

Jean found an all too eager Jaeger among the horses, shaking his head when his rider came into view.

“Easy boy,” Jean cooed, rubbing Jaeger’s neck for a bit. As the others began to mount their horses, Jean copied the motions.

“We ride for Trost. Prepare to stop in the hills just before the city; we’ll go over the plan in more detail,” Levi ordered before whipping his reins and spurring his horse forward. With little choice but to follow, the others nodded and took off under the guidance of the fading moonlight.

Jean steeled his nerves as he rode alongside Armin and Marco. This plan would hinge on all three of them doing their parts and fooling the Reeves Company long enough for the rest of the squad to arrive. Of course Jean worried for Armin but the thought of Marco in this kind of danger unnerved him. Marco’s titan-slaying skills were better than Jean expected but battling other soldiers was never his forte; at least back in Jean’s world.

“Are you feeling okay about this, Armin?,” Marco called out.

Jean shook his head; Marco was as perceptive as ever.

“As ready as I’ll ever be. Better than last week, but yes, I’m still a bit wary,” Armin admitted, his voice loud enough for Jean and some of the other soldiers nearby to hear.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be okay. They’ll never see it coming,” Jean grinned.

The remainder of the ride was mostly banter back and forth between the squad. Those concerned with those closest to them kept the conversation amongst themselves.

After his unexpected night in the woods with Reiner, Jean became hyperaware of the interactions around him. He noticed things more: the way Connie and Sasha joked, the quick but reassuring looks Ymir and Historia cast at each other, the forlorn gaze Jean caught Reiner giving Bertholdt. Their conversation had made a lot things make sense to Jean, but at the same time, it had confused him even more.

To be willing to fight for the sake of others, to put oneself in unnecessary danger, to risk one’s life when it could mean certain death; these were all concepts Jean had accepted in the other world and understood. In his world, everyone did their best to bottle their emotions. Unnecessary risks would mean extra loss of life and that was something they couldn’t afford, but here his comrades all came to a different conclusion.

Not that those thoughts were foreign to Jean. He could recognize his own emotions when the situation called for it and he knew when he was growing closer to someone than he anticipated. The fact that Reiner had to be the one to point it out to him was sickeningly ironic. The more he thought about it, the more he found himself agreeing with Reiner’s guess that Marco was becoming more than a close friend in Jean’s mind. But Jean knew he would have to leave it at that.

He could take the unnecessary risks, but Marco couldn’t. At the very least, Jean didn’t want to be the cause of Marco taking such risks. It got him killed once already.

Jean remained lost in his thoughts until he noticed the others slowing down around him.

“Alright. Arlert and Bodt, get ready. Everyone else come with me,” Levi ordered. He dismounted and walked over to the top of the hill.

Jean shot a questioning look to his friends but they appeared just as confused as he was. He shrugged and followed Levi with the others.

“Uh, what about me, sir? Shouldn’t I be with Armin and Marco?” Jean asked.

To Jean’s surprise, Levi shook his head.

“Change of plans. We found out the Military Police is aware Jaeger escaped. Instead, you’ll be in the trailing team with us. However, I want you near Bodt and Arlert when we’re in the city. We don’t want to draw unnecessary attention. Reiner will accompany you as well; everyone else will be on the other side of the street with me.”

“What exactly are we doing?,” Ymir wondered aloud. She crossed her arms- their plan seemed far too threadbare.

“We’re gonna pretend we’re buying supplies at a street market. Erwin caught wind from our mole that’s where the Reeves Company is expecting us. So while we’re split up, they’ll try to abduct ‘Historia’ and ‘you’.”

“And this will seriously work?,” Ymir stared in disbelief at Jean.

“It toppled a government before,” Jean smirked.

Ymir shrugged and wrapped an arm around Historia. “She stays by me though.”

“You can mother hen you all you like once the others are abducted. Don’t make it too obvious before they get kidnapped,” Levi scoffed.

“Uh, we’re ready,” Marco announced, fidgeting with his dress.

The Squad turned to see Marco and Armin bouncing on their feet next to each other under the warm glow of dawn. Jean choked a bit at the sight of Marco and Armin clad in dresses. Armin wore the same pale blonde wig Jean recognized from his world as well as a light blue dress. If not for the early morning sun everyone would’ve been able to see the blush coloring Armin’s cheeks.

While Jean knew what to expect with Armin, the sight of Marco in a long brown wig and long brown dress left him slack-jawed and doe-eyed. Jean knew Armin and Marco had to borrow clothes from their counterparts but what he hadn’t anticipated was how well Ymir’s dress would hug the subtle curves of Marco’s body. Or the fact it showed enough leg to give Jean less-than-pure thoughts. Seeing Marco with a bust was a bit disconcerting, though. Ymir wasn’t exactly as flat as Historia.

“Good, Kirschtein and Braun will catch you two up on the plan. Let’s get moving before we miss our ‘scheduled’ resupply.”

A fleeting look from Marco was enough to stir Jean from his stupor and motivate him to get back on Jaeger. Armin and Marco spent a little extra time mounting their own horses thanks to their dresses but soon figured it out.

“Looking good, ‘Historia’,” Reiner chuckled as they rode down towards Trost.

Armin groaned at the name but a mission was a mission.

“Same for you ‘Ymir’,” Jean tried to copy Reiner’s cool demeanor, but his voice cracked, ruining his intention. Marco shot him a worried look and shut him up.

“Thanks but why aren’t you dressed like Eren?” Marco inquired.

“Change of plans. He’s gonna guard you two with me by the stalls. Don’t panic too much, otherwise they’ll recognize you’re male right away,” Reiner advised.

The two soon-to-be hostages nodded.

Jean kept his eyes trained ahead but he could feel his nerves prickle every time Marco glanced in his direction. He hoped Marco wouldn’t find his reactions too odd.

“Jean, are you alright?” Marco asked.

“Yup, are you?” Jean threw the question right back at his perceptive friend.

“I don’t know. Being in a dress feels weird. I can’t believe I had to shave my legs for this,” Marco sighed.

That comment piqued Jean’s interest enough to look over and see the rushing air blowing Marco’s skirt up to reveal his legs. Marco wasn’t lying.

“Gotta play the part I suppose,” Jean smirked, doing his best to mask his internal reactions. Why was Marco making him anxious now?

At the gates of Trost, they dismounted their horses and walked into the city. The guards barely acknowledged them as they entered.

Jean’s eyes scanned the area for familiar or suspicious faces. It didn’t take long before he spotted someone running away from all the crowds and darting down an alley. He nudged the captain.

“We’ve been spotted,” Jean whispered.

“Good. Take the doubles to the fruit stand and make sure their hoods are down. I’ll be across the street with the others.” Levi stated.

Jean motioned for his group to follow him, splitting the Squad in half. While they walked over to the fruit, Jean looked back to see Marco and Armin walking a few feet apart.

Jean shook his head. “No, no, no. Everyone _knows_ the girls like each other: close the gap. Pretend Marco is Jaeger, Armin.”

Armin froze at those words.

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?,” Armin narrowed his eyes at Jean, suddenly not caring about his appearance.

Marco at least listened to Jean’s instruction and slid into Armin’s personal space, daring to hang an arm around his neck.

“It means pretend you love him,” Jean rolled his eyes, not noticing the panicked look in Reiner’s eyes when he mentioned that.

Armin froze on the spot, his mouth hanging open. The crowds began to bustle in around them for the early morning market. “How do you know about that?”

Jean paused to look back at him, stopping in the middle of the street as people passed by them. “It’s common knowledge.”

“No, it’s not,” Armin disagreed. Reiner’s eyes darted back and forth between Armin and Jean as sweat began to form on his brow. Armin glared at Marco next. “I told you that in _confidence_!”

“Huh? I didn’t tell him, I swear!,” Marco denied as a horsedrawn cart approached them.

“He didn’t tell me anything,” Jean stepped in to defend his best friend once he realized he made a huge mistake.

“If you’re just going to out who I like I might as well do the same,” Armin threatened. As much as Jean _really_ wanted to follow up on that statement, the cart came to a stop behind the bickering group.

Shouting erupted from the crowd as a stray horse came barreling down the street towards them. Jean, Armin, and Marco dove to one side while Reiner fell backwards into some discarded crates. Before Jean could process what was happening, he was hoisted up, gagged, bound, and thrown into the back of the cart. By the time he realized what happened, Jean, Marco, and Armin were already flying down the streets of Trost with itchy burlap sacks over their heads.

With his senses dampened by the thick brown bag, Jean could only wiggle in his bonds alongside his two friends. He tried to listen for the sound of 3DMG or anything similar but he could hear nothing over the the noise of the cart. Questions flooded his head, but one persisted on the front of his mind more than any other: why did they grab _him_?

Any concept of time faded with the rest of Jean’s senses. After what felt like an eternity his rocky trip came to an abrupt end.

“What are you-“ a gurgling sound cut off the man’s sentence.

“Huh?”

What sounded like a scuffle broke out until only one man’s whimpering remained.

“You’re the lucky one. In exchange for taking these three problems off your hands I want you to take these three dummies with you and proceed to your original destination, okay?” A cold female voice spoke. While she worded it like a deal, it came across as an ultimatum.

“Y-y-yes ma’am,” a shaky voice replied.

“Good boy. Soldiers, carry on.”

As quick as they was snatched earlier, Jean and the others were seized and thrown into another cart. Splintered wood pressed against Jean’s cheek through the sack when he landed. Squeaking cartwheels signaled the other cart taking off. However, Jean noticed they took off in another direction away from the other vehicle.

Fear began to seep into Jean’s bones at this unexpected change of events.

This was definitely not according to plan.

\---

Jean grunted as he was shoved into a rickety seat. Another set of ropes bound his torso and legs to the chair before his original bonds were severed. Someone removed the sack over his head and flung it away. Jean cherished that rush of fresh air through his nostrils. His eyes scanned the room for any defining features but found only his comrades and their kidnappers. Across from Jean ‘Ymir’ and ‘Historia’ were unmasked by people in nondescript clothes. The stone cold demeanor these people carried spoke volumes to Jean. Despite their civilian attire they were far from regular people.

Familiar clanging metal echoed around the room as a hooded figure entered. He paused in the center to take a passing glance at everyone present.

“Three?,” the figure questioned. “I thought we just needed the two girls. Who’s this fellow?”

“He’s the one Duran spoke of,” a cool but nostalgic voice replied from behind Jean.

“Which one was that? All I got from that report was your _failure_ to apprehend the girls.”

Jean heard a frustrated sigh from behind him.

“He knows all your dirty little secrets.”

“Impossible,” the hooded man dismissed before turning his attention to Armin and Marco. “We got our little runaway and recovered a princess. Reiss should rest easier now. In fact he should be here within the hour.”

“Is our business concluded then?”

Jewelry rattled with every step the hooded man took towards the ‘girls’. He paused a few feet away from them. Suddenly he spun on his heels to face Jean and the group of soldiers next to him.

“I think not. Reiss decides when our business is concluded. We wait for him to collect what he seeks and then we may part until the time calls for it again.”

“Fine.”

Upon that curt finish, the soldier behind Jean walked out of the room.

Jean tried again to figure out where they were but it was a nondescript living room. He and his comrades were bound to rough chairs while the hooded man took a seat on comfy looking armchair. The other soldiers meandered around the room looking for things to do. One went to another room where running water could be heard, while another messed with the fireplace. Yet no one spoke.

The tense silence ended when one man slowly approach Armin with a mischievous look in his eye. Armin’s face immediately seized with panic when the man leaned in and took a big sniff. The hooded man turned towards him.

“She smells like lavender,” he smiled, hovering over Armin’s head.

“What in the goddess’ name are you doing?,” the hooded man’s voice carried a sharp tone.

“Just checking out the goods.”

The soldier rubbed the back of his hand down Armin’s cheek, ignoring the water forming on the edge of his eyes.

“Those ‘goods’ are royalty, you oaf. No touching or you won’t live to see dawn,” the hooded man warned.

With a heavy sigh the man moved onto Marco. “How about this one?”

Before the hooded man could even answer, the man grabbed Marco’s breast.

“Let her go before she eats you. She’s a titan.”

The man’s hand retracted like he just touched fire.

“Damn, and she’s nice and soft too.” Jean didn’t expect those to leer at him next. The soldier casually strolled over and bent down to Jean’s level. A hungry grin appeared on his face when the man clearly did a once over of Jean. “What about him?”

“I don’t care what you do to him. You clearly have no shame.”

Jean’s eyes widened when the man grabbed his cheeks and removed his gag. “Forgive me father for I’m about to sin.”

“Never,” the hooded man scoffed at the suggestion.

Rather than lose his composure Jean narrowed his eyes at the man. The man really had no honor if he picked on helpless victims.

A bemused smile replaced the hungry one on his face. “Oh, this one still has some fight left in him. I like it when they think they can fight back.”

“Untie me and I’ll show you a fight,” Jean spoke as venomously as he could.

That quip got a hearty laugh from the man.

“He has some spunk. I like you.”

Before the situation could escalate any further, the door to the room opened to reveal a short and stout man with a thinning hairline and wispy mustache. He wore a fine button down shirt and dark slacks with a matching vest. He carefully surveyed the room before entering. His wrinkled forehead raised when he saw Armin.

“What is the meaning of this? Why did you summon me here, Nick?,” the stout man demanded to know.

“Please Rod, we both know why. We have your daughter as well as the runaway. We simply need you to work your magic to prevent them from escaping our clutches again,” the hooded man answered, standing up to go meet Rod Reiss.

Rod crossed his arms as he looked over at Armin and Marco. “I told you I would help you with your runaway problem, not my daughter. Why did you drag her into this? And who’s this boy?”

Jean remained tight lipped when Rod Reiss gestured to him.

“A nobody that was brought along for the ride. We’ll dispose of him afterwards unless you want to give him the same treatment as the other two. You know how we _hate_ to spill unnecessary blood.” Nick walked over and finally lowered his hood. Something about the man’s incredibly short hair and big forehead seemed familiar to Jean.

“So you simply wish to make your runaway more obedient?”

“And we were hoping you’d correct her _other_ problem along with your daughter’s.”

“What problem are you speaking of? Besides her flighty tendencies.” Rod questioned. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed some sweat off his forehead.

“Don’t be daft, Rod. We both know they’ve been seeing each other for a while. Even these rabble figured that out,” Nick pointed to the various soldiers around the room. “Remove their affection for one another and everything can return to the original deal. Unless you want your bastard daughter to go the way of her mother.”

“No! No, that won’t be necessary,” Rod defensively waved his hands before clearing his throat. “I’ll do as you ask. Just return my daughter back to the Survey Corps because my arrangement with them still stands.”

“Of course. I leave them in your capable hands.”

Nick began to leave as Rod approached Armin. He placed his shaky hands on Armin’s shoulders, trying to find the courage to continue. “I’m sorry, honey. But this is for your own good.”

Rod reached for Armin’s head before abruptly stopping. His mouth dropped and he took a few steps back, catching the attention of the perverted soldier.

“What’s the matter, Reiss? Cold feet?” The soldier asked.

“No, this isn’t my daughter!” Rod turned around and glared at him.

Nick immediately spun around and walked back in at an accelerated pace. He made a beeline for Marco just as Rod reached for Armin’s wig and pulled it off. A nearby soldier removed Marco’s wig too. The pastor glared back at the soldiers in the room.

“Boys? You were tricked by boys?!,” Nick shouted. He reached down Marco’s shirt and pulled out the clump of socks being used to stuff his chest. “How were you fooled by _this_?!”

The perverted soldier shrugged. “They felt soft but firm.”

“It’s been so long since you felt the real thing you were fooled by laundry,” Nick punctuated his statement by throwing the socks at the soldier’s face. The dirty laundry blew apart on impact.

“What would you like us to do with them?”

“Kill them and find the real ones. This is what you get for outsourcing,” Nick stated, throwing his hands into the air as he approached the door.

One soldier pulled out a knife and started for Marco while another approached Armin. With no signs of anyone coming to save them, Jean did the only thing he could. He opened his big mouth.

“I know where the Coordinate is!” Jean shouted, halting all movement in the room.

The men exchanged concerned expressions before the pastor spoke up.

“What did you say, boy?”

“I said I know where the Coordinate is. The original power of Ymir that the first king used to trap us within these walls. The power to control the titans and force them to become the very walls you worship!”

Marco’s eyes widened. He tried to struggle out of his binds.

“How do you know such things?” Nick squinted at Jean.

Rod folded his arms as he processed those words. “No one should know about the Coordinate, let alone that history.”

“Well, I’ll be damned. Duran wasn’t lying,” The perverted soldier chuckled.

“You probably already are. But I won’t tell you shit if you kill those two,” Jean threatened. If he wanted to save his friends, he needed to divert all attention to him.

“Listen here, smartass-”

“Enough. While we don’t need you to be willing to tell us, I suppose we can indulge you. Rod, see what he knows. Afterwards you can flush all three of their heads of anything useful.”

“Fine. Find my daughter and your runaway and I’ll deal with them afterwards,” Rod agreed before walking over to an empty chair. The sound of wood scraping across stone floor filled the room until Rod propped the chair directly in front of Jean. He took a seat and placed his stubby hands on Jean’s head.

“As much as I love to see you work, I need to report back to the leader of these idiots,” Nick spat. He ignored the simmering anger from the soldiers in the room. “Find the girls like you were supposed to and I’ll retract any negative sentiment I have. Until then.”

Nick slammed the door on his way out.

“Preachy asshole,” the perverted soldier cursed.

“Maybe so but we need him. Now keep guard while I deal with this one. If any of this information were to leak, I’d hate to see what turmoil it’d cause,” Rod shook his head. He started to focus his undivided attention on Jean.

Not knowing what to expect, Jean was caught off guard when he felt an intense pressure on his skull. It felt like chisels cracking against his head. He grunted from the pain as the chipping sensation spread from his ears all the way to the top of his head.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Jean stammered.

“Cracking you open to see what you know. Now be a good boy and let this happen, otherwise you’ll be a vegetable if you keep resisting,” Rod warned.

As much as Jean wanted to make a snarky reply, his head felt numb as the pounding ceased. It was replaced by the feeling of warm water dousing his top and trickling down his sides. It seeped into the cracks of his skull and burned his skin, coming to a boil around his brain. A scream escaped him as it felt like magma enveloped the insides of his head.

Across the room Marco wriggled against his restraints and shook violently. Two soldiers kept the chair in place but watched with amusement at Marco’s attempts to break free. He felt the chair crack under his struggle but the rope held firm. Once he knew his restraints weren’t going to budge, Marco opted to try grinding the gag in his mouth with his teeth.

“Gah, get out of my head!” Jean grunted.

Rod simply shook his head. Unlike the soldiers around him, Rod didn’t smile at Jean’s pain.

“Relax and it’ll be less painful. Just let it happen,” Rod advised.

“I can’t!”

While his brain broiled, Jean could feel a prickling sensation within his head. Thousands of tiny needles pressed against the surface of his brain and triggered his pain receptors. For an instant his brain felt like it was in excruciating pain on top of being burned. The next moment everything went numb like a drunken stupor took hold of his body. Jean’s head dangled down but Rod’s hands held it in place. The rest of Jean’s body felt limp.

“Ooh, he got in,” the perverted soldier chuckled.

Jean’s senses suddenly faded from the room and went dark. He found himself surrounded by a void before being thrust back into Survey Corps headquarters. He tried to recognize the scene around him. He was on a couch in Erwin’s office pinned between Armin and Marco. Everyone spoke in muffled voices, as if talking through cloth.

“ _I see Historia filled you in on some of the details but not enough to justify what you said. Let’s go a bit deeper._ ”

“What are you…”

The room vanished and next Jean was back in a tree, looking down on an injured Marco. His friend’s battered body laid underneath him. Panic gripped him as he furiously tried cut himself loose to check on Marco. His fear was accompanied by an intense rage as he thought about the Beast titan atop that wall that dared to try and kill Marco. He wouldn’t let that happen again, ever.

“ _You hold your friends dearly I suppose, enough to risk life and limb against a formidable enemy. I was wondering what the so-called Beast titan looked like._ ”

“Get out of my head…”

The memory ceased once more and now Jean was back at Castle Utgard, waking up in a field. An unknown soldier helped him to his feet and shuffled him over back to the castle where the rest of the Survey Corps were at. Jean couldn’t understand anything being said but he felt like he was going through the motions as people he knew to be dead were alive right in front of him. It wasn’t until he saw Marco enter the castle that shock overtook him.

“ _Curious reactions but I see you saved my daughter. You have my thanks._ ”

Next Jean found himself on the battlefield, outside Wall Maria. Marley’s soldier’s came from the sea and sky unleashing hell. So many explosions, so many bodies, so much chaos- Jean felt fear grip his throat. However, he couldn’t let it cripple him. He had to press on for the sake of the Eldians. He didn’t risk life and limb to leave to the walls only to be crushed by new oppressors.

“ _What’s this? I’ve never seen these forests or lakes before_.”

“Home… my real home…” Jean felt compelled to answer immediately. He had no time to think of a bluff.

Now scenes raced before his eyes. Countless emotions blurred together as the last few years ran by in seconds. Every hint of joy, jealousy, anger, sadness, loss, and fear blinked through his head and overwhelmed Jean’s brain. It was too much. Jean felt like he was short circuiting under the burden of his synapses communicating together all at once.

Pained groans escaped Jean and spurred Marco on. Marco ground his gag faster and with more pressure as he saw Jean’s eyes bulge and water. The tears streamed down Jean’s cheeks with no end in sight.

Brief reprieves were allowed for Jean at various notable moments from the other world. Exploring outside the walls the first time, pouring over the findings in the basement, the battle of Shinganshina that decimated the Survey Corps, the crowning of Historia, and facing the rampaging titan within Wall Rose. It wasn’t until Jean found himself in the cavern of the Reiss chapel staring at Rod Reiss on the ground moments before ingesting the titan serum did the memories suddenly freeze.

“ _What magic is this? How am I here? Answer me!_ ”

“No magic. This was your fate in my world.”

The soldiers in the room exchanged intrigued looks as Rod Reiss and Jean commented aloud.

“ _You are an Eldian in my hands. You cannot hide the truth from me!_ ”

“You’re looking at the truth.”

The scene of the chapel faded once more and the surge of emotions returned as Jean memories raced around him once more. Fighting the secret military police, being kidnapped as Eren’s body double, fighting the titans and getting knocked off his horse, experiencing the betrayal of Reiner and Bertholdt, learning the secrets of the titans being humans, fighting the Beast titan for the first time, finding a titan within Wall Rose, Annie’s betrayal, the first humiliation of being Eren’s body double, Eren’s trial, the victory of Trost, and the revelation that Eren was a shifter all meshed together in Jean’s head. The pressure felt intense but Rod continued to push deeper.

“ _Show me what you’re hiding! Show me how you can conjure these false memories! What are you repressing so much that has fundamentally shaped who you are?_ ”

Suddenly an immense sense of loss overtook Jean’s body. In front of him was an image that haunted his quietest nights. The stench of death and decay in the air mixed with the scent of smoldering bodies. Rubble scattered everywhere amongst the corpses in Trost. But in front Jean laid the most precious soldier. His best friend, the one who supported Jean during training and the person Jean chose to accompany him through the Military Police, was missing a chunk of his body.

“Marco… is that… you?” Jean asked the body.

Marco ceased chewing his gag. A chill went down his spine at the mention of his name. What was Jean seeing? While Marco wanted to continue to escape, his curiosity froze him.

Rod Reiss slowly turned his head to face Marco, as realization began to click.

“You’re alive here. That liar!” Rod’s face contorted from anger as his grip on Jean’s head tightened. “You’re trying to fool me when the one you see as dead is clearly alive and across the room! Don’t waste my time with such transparent lies.”

“Marco… we were supposed to go to the Military Police together…”

“And these false images of me as a titan? Of Reiner Braun being the Armored titan? I don’t know how but I’ve had enough of your tricks. Perhaps you’ll find better use if we emptied your head.”

Marco tried to shout through his gag, catching the attention of Rod Reiss.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get to you two soon enough.”

Jean found himself surrounded by darkness once more, but this time it felt like something was fading from him. The memories that once flowed into him were now entering the void around him. His fingers grasped at the precious memories but they passed between his fingers like molasses, sticking to the tips but still slowly escaping his grasp.

“Give those back you asshole!” Jean shouted, his urge to fight coming forward.

“ _No, you lost your right when you lied to your king_.”

An empty feeling began to replace the ocean of emotions Jean once felt. The memories drained away as every second went by. Jean struggled but it was all for naught.

“Let me go! Those are mine!”

Rod Reiss frowned at the notion. “ _No, everything you own belongs to the Reiss family: mind, body, and soul. I’m merely collecting your due_.”

Jean continued to argue but his voice slowly weakened. “You’re no king. You forfeited that title when you tried to use Historia to your own end!”

“ _I never did any such thing!_ ”

Marco resumed his futile attempts at escaping as Jean’s comments grew more vitriolic and desperate.

“Get out of my head!”

“I’ve had just enough of your insolence! I’m removing what’s most precious to you!” Rod announced.

Jean suddenly found himself surrounded by memories of his early childhood: his mom cooking him food, his times bragging in the Training Corps, the one time he beat Eren in hand to hand combat, and even his talks with Armin. They all drifted into the darkness before being replaced by pictures of the past he held even closer.

On his left was his first introduction into the training regimen next to Marco. He recalled how the boy’s clumsy nature would probably prevent him from getting anywhere. Next to it was their first genuine conversation together after Marco heaped compliment after compliment on Jean’s 3DMG skills. Perhaps Marco wasn’t as dull as Jean initially thought.

A chain of memories displaying their friendship as it blossomed circled around Jean. He smiled fondly at each one up until Trost where Marco told him he would be a fantastic leader. Not because Jean was strong but because he was weak and recognized that. Jean thought Marco was full of shit but after the battle Jean couldn’t believe that.

Loss and sorrow overtook Jean as the pyre for all the fallen soldiers burned brightly in front of him. On the ground in front of him was a chunk of burnt bone which he quickly grasped. He collapsed to his knees as the tears began to flow from his face once more.

“Sorry, Marco. I don’t even know which of these bones is even yours anymore,” Jean apologized, his fist clenching tightly around the bone. “And it’s going to be rough... but I’ve decided! I’m going to join the Scouts!”

Marco’s and Armin’s eyes widened upon hearing that. Words that were eerily similar to the pledge Marco uttered many years ago. They looked at each other briefly as Jean’s tear-streaked face slowly returned to a neutral state.

Jean felt temporary mental peace start to sink in when memories of meeting Marco once again played. Many expressions flashed over Jean’s face: shock, confusion, fear, grief, and hope. The final expression that stuck with Jean was the hopeful one. Jean felt abounding joy to be with his friend once more.

“Marco, you’re alive… I’m so glad you’re alive.”

“ _You truly believe he died?_ ” Rod questioned as he peered around Jean’s mind. “ _Pity you’re gonna lose him once more_.”

All the positive memories of growing close to Marco, saving him, being nursed back to health by him, and generally enjoying his company flew up around Jean. The last thought of Marco that arose was his recent mental debate about how close they had gotten. And with that memory came a surge of nervousness and adoration. It started to fade from his body as the memory washed away.

“Wait, where is he going? D-don’t take my memories of him! Please, I can’t lose those. They’re all I have to remember him by! I never even got the chance to tell him!” Jean cried out as the memories wisped away. “I never even…”

A small whimper escaped Jean as his face once again returned to a passive state.

Marco felt an immense combination of fear, anger, and sorrow arise within him.

“Now he’s almost as empty headed as King Fritz. Maybe we should plant some useful thoughts in there. Perhaps make him a loyal servant of the crown? Or maybe pretend he’s a farmer? His insolence deserves more punishment,” Rod mused as he toyed with different ideas. “Maybe a prisoner of the Central Military Police.”

“Ooh, could you make him a whore?” The perverted soldier requested.

Rod gave a deadpan look, lowering his hands.

“No I won’t do that,” Rod let out an exasperated sigh.

Marco’s fury towards that soldier rose exponentially.

Before anymore suggestions could be floated, an explosion at the door caught everyone’s attention. Jean snapped back to reality, his head moving back and forth as he processed what was going on. He pushed back against his binds in an exercise of futility.

Using the unexpected opportunity, Marco tilted the chair forward so he was on his feet before pushing himself backwards into a soldier and breaking the chair in the process. The rope binding his torso and legs fell limply at his feet. He turned his fury on the nearby soldier and punched him in the face. Other Survey Corps members began to flood into the room and capture everyone by surprise. Marco grabbed a knife from the solider he knocked out and ran over towards the perverted soldier. The man couldn’t even get out a remark before Marco plunged the blade into his chest.

Rod Reiss was already under a pile of bodies when Marco looked for him.

Marco’s next target was the rope binding Jean. He yanked the blade out of the perverted soldier’s chest and sawed through the fibers with the bloody blade until they loosely gave away. Jean quickly stood up and jumped the nearest soldier. Marco was impressed at how swiftly and skillfully Jean took the man down. Using the opportunity Marco went to free Armin.

The conflict passed by in a flash as the soldiers were either rounded up or killed. When it ended Marco saw Jean heaving as sweat poured down his forehead.

“Jean, good job!” Marco gave a light hearted compliment, expecting a cocky smirk or sarcastic retort. Instead Jean’s head jerked in surprise towards him. Marco’s best friend stared wide-eyed at him. Fear was written plain as day on Jean’s face. His eyes were darting between Marco and the exit while his body trembled. Jean’s flighty intentions were confirmed when he sprinted out the room. “Jean, wait!”

Marco gave chase and found that Jean only made a few steps before collapsing outside the house into the streets. Marco didn’t care what city they were in since because his best friend was on the ground on the edge of hyperventilating.

“Wh-where am I?” Jean mumbled.

“Jean, calm down,” Marco tried to soothe his friend but Jean continued to shiver. He curled into himself a bit. “We’re in Wall Rose.”

“Rose? Are we in Trost? I should be in Trost with my mom. Or am I supposed to be with the Survey Corps?” Jean’s fist bawled up on the ground. “Why can’t I remember? Everything is so foggy...”

Tears fell once more down Jean’s already tearstained cheeks.

“Jean, I’m here. It’s alright.”

“How do you know my name? Who are you?!” Jean lashed out, his voice cracking in the process.

Those questions stung Marco far deeper than any wound sustained fighting titans or soldiers.

“I-its me, Marco. You know, your best friend?” Marco stammered out an explanation. He bit his lower lip as he mulled over the situation. Did Rod Reiss actually made good on his promise?

“Marco? I don’t know a Marco… I don’t know any friends. Do I have friends?” Jean’s tone reverted to that of a scared child. His lips trembled as he thought about it.

“You do have friends. I’m your friend.” Marco answered but his voice choked upon saying it. It felt like admitting he lost Jean a second time. Seeing Jean like this pulled at Marco’s heartstrings.

“Why can’t I remember anything?” Jean shook as he tried to recall facts but it like a part of him was gone. He felt hollow and only a patchwork of confusing memories remained.

“It’s going to be alright. My name is Marco Bodt of the Survey Corps and I’m here to help.” Marco offered a hand as tears formed on the edges of his eyes.

Jean hesitated upon seeing Marco’s hand, making Marco’s stomach sink further. Jean blinked a bit as a thought dawned on him.

“Bodt?” Jean replied, confused at how familiar word sounded in his mouth. It felt like old but comfortable teddy bear. “Nurse Bodt?”

Marco’s eyes widened upon hearing that phrase, a glimmer of hope returning to him. “Yes, that’s me. You do know me!”

Marco wasn’t prepared for Jean suddenly clinging onto him like a toddler to a mother. Faint whimpers escaped Jean as he steadied himself in Marco’s gentle grasp. Even when Levi emerged from the house to see what was going on, Marco didn’t budge upon his commander giving him a puzzled look. He could answer Levi’s questions later. Right now his best friend needed him more than anyone else and Marco would be damned if he let go of Jean now. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting on this for a hot minute since I wanted to this to be as polished as possible. Thanks to commodorecliche for beta reading this for me, its always good to have a second set of eyes.
> 
> I think this is the second time I've had a chance to write the kidnapping scene and its becoming one of my favorite divergent points for canon. Although throwing Marco in as Ymir is truly a beautiful image. You won't be able to convince me that Marco and Armin wouldn't be nervous AF in those roles. But when threatened you can always count on Jean to save his friends. For better or worse :'(
> 
> As always thank you so much for reading! Feel free to comment or speculate below, I read everything and enjoy people's thoughts. I also haven't done something angsty in quite a while so I hope I got those emotions through. If you wanna privately scold me you can message me on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com/), or send a like or reblog!


	10. You Can't Protect Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking a look back at Trost in the mirrorverse, Marco learns a hard truth from Jean's tough words.

This was all wrong. Tomorrow was supposed to be graduation, their chance to join whatever branches their hearts desired. Eren and Armin would pursue the Survey Corps to fight titans and explore the outside world with Mikasa protecting them. Connie and Sasha probably would go wherever their carefree hearts desired while the Annie, Bertholdt, and Reiner trio would likely climb the ranks of the Military Police together. Ymir and Historia? Marco could see them taking a Garrison position where they could enjoy their company. As for Jean and him, the chance to protect the king together brought great joy to Marco.

All the assurances of such paths came crashing to reality with the gigantic boulder that broke the gates of Trost. Just as Eren made his early declaration to kill all the titans, a swift message was returned by the gigantic ape-like titan on the horizon. Its loud roar signaled the call to battle as many smaller titans began to flood into the city. Along the sky more rocks came raining down on the cadets and citizens of Trost.

“We know our squads, let’s go!” Eren shouted to the shell-shocked cadets.

“Not everyone has seen a titan like you, Jaeger. Give us a moment,” Jean spat back. His normally cocky façade vanished the moment that new titan showed itself. His hands trembled as he tightened his straps.

“The more time we let pass the more people die. Families torn apart. I won’t let someone else suffer the way we have.” Eren gestured between him, Mikasa, and Armin. “And what if the Armored and Colossal titans show again? We need to evacuate and kill as many of those bastards as possible.”

The mention of the other titans dropped everyone’s mood further.

“Not everyone is as gung-ho about throwing their lives away like you, ya suicidal idiot. These are titans, not training dummies. They fight back!”

“And we hit them harder! We’ve spent the last few years of our lives preparing for this. We’re ready and we’ve got each other’s backs.”

“On the battlefield you’ve got to watch your own back. You can’t protect everyone, Jaeger. You can’t save Armin like you did during training all the time. Reiner can’t keep an eye on Bertl and Annie during every second just like Marco can’t protect me! Quit living in that little fantasy head of yours and start recognizing reality.”

Jean glared daggers at Eren but he simply responded by making the salute.

“We took a pledge to protect these people and have each other’s back. We have the skills and the tools to fulfill that pledge. Come one!” Eren shouted, earning cheers and nods from his fellow classmates. Those assigned to Eren’s squad threw their hands up in the air as a show of solidarity before running off to meet the initial wave of titans.

Jean rolled his eyes and got to his feet. The remaining cadets gathered themselves and their belongings.

“Jean, you’re gonna make a great leader one day,” Marco commented as he clapped a hand on Jean’s shoulder.

Jean quirked an eyebrow but offered a tiny smile. “I’d never be a good leader, Marco. You on the other hand can be. You know how to somehow protect those around you and they inherently trust you. You have the skills and the empathy. That’s the key to your success.”

“You didn’t mean that though right? That I couldn’t protect you. We have to have each other’s back in combat, it’s essential.” Marco frowned at the thought.

“In some regards, no. Of course we’ll do our best to defend each other but there are times where you just can’t watch everyone. A battlefield is large and messy. Unlike training, your thoughts and allies are scattered. But don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” Jean explained, scratching the back of his head halfway through.

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Don’t worry about me though, I’ll be fine. I mean have you met me? I’m me! Just keep yourself alive today and then well climb the ranks of the Military Police together.”

Jean placed his hands on Marco’s shoulders, offering a reassuring grin.

“I guess. There’s something I want to tell you by the way… once this is all done.” Marco bit his lower lip, confusing Jean. His face flushed a bit as he pondered the confusing thoughts he’d been fighting for the last few weeks of training.

“What is it?” Jean wondered, dropping his arms to his side.

“A-After the battle. It’ll take a bit to discuss.”

Jean shrugged but kept his warm smile. “Okay, I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah… see you then, Jean.”

Both Jean and Eren were correct in their predictions for the battle. Their last several years of training proved invaluable to targeting titans and eliminating them, as well as their use of the 3DMG. Marco was also sure they saved many lives and thankfully none of the other notable titans appeared during the fray. Even the ape-like titan refused to approach the city. Unfortunately that was all Eren was right about.

Jean’s pessimistic outlook had many truthful aspects that Marco wanted to ignore. While they had training to kill titans, moving targets were a different story. Many cadets fell to basic mistakes and miscalculations. Marco even came close to losing himself or a limb a few times. Seeing his fellow soldiers perished left him deeply saddened but that shellshock also cost many solider their lives. Some refused to accept the death of a loved one like Franz. Others gave their lives trying to avenge their comrades. Even Eren supposedly died pulling Armin from a titan but was lost in the fray. Jean was wrong about that at least.

The biggest shock came once the battle ended thanks to Reiner’s surprising titan abilities, supposedly something the government knew about.

Once the commotion settled, Marco joined in the clean-up. His thoughts remained preoccupied by the trauma of watching those he grew close to over the years, those he watched struggle to pass through training, those who shared their life stories all get swallowed up by the titans. It was cruel.

It wasn’t until he turned a corner on a nameless street that he felt the world he’d so precariously built come crashing down. Laying against a building with a chunk of his body gone was Jean. Or what was left of Jean.

“Jean?” Marco’s weak voice called out. His legs trembled as he took big clumsy steps towards the body. He collapsed next to the body as he tried to observe it.

While missing part of his head and the left side of his body, the two toned hair was unmistakable.

“You recognize this soldier?” A medic called out.

“Jean… no…” Marco felt the tears begin to well-up in his eyes. Their future, their plans, his confession. It all died here.

“Do you recognize this solider? It’s important so we can tell his next of kin. We have to burn his body before a new plague can begin spreading.” The callous tone of the medic stabbed Marco right in the heart.

This was a soldier that gave his life for humanity and this medic simply saw it as a burden?

“Jean… Jean Kirschtein. Cadet of the 104th and the smartest soldier I knew.” Marco struggled to get out.

“I see. Thank you. Please bring the body to the nearest pyre.”

After scribbling down the information the medic left Marco with the body.

Ultimately a group of the surviving 104th carried Jean’s corpse to the fire. Many mourned their friends that evening, but Marco mourned Jean the hardest. He almost burned himself grasping at one of the charred bones.

“Damn it, Jean. I know… I know I said I wanted to protect the king. But after today I can’t ignore the cold truth. Humanity needs my protection,” Marco trembled as he grabbed the bone tightly. With tears in his eyes he faced the cadets around him. “Guys, I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to join the Scouts.”

After Trost more of the cadets joined the Scouts than anticipated, and Marco never looked back. Taking Jean’s words to heart he did his best in the ensuing battles for the next seven years. He and the others even earned a place on Levi squad once the original members decided to retire for their own variety of reasons. The Beast titan, the Colossal titan, and Armored titan never showed their faces during that time until one night reports of attacks at Castle Utgard forced the Survey Scouts to deploy.

By the time they reached the castle, the bulk of the titans were decimated. Rumors that the Beast titan initiated the attack spread along with the rumors of a brave soldier that cut down the horde. Marco had long since steeled his heart to all the death that can come from these battles and expeditions but he still remained empathetic to the plight of the soldiers. As he and his fellow Levi squad members returned to the castle to meet up with Levi and the others, he continuously offered water to the weary.

At the doors of the castle, a shocked Armin pushed his way past Marco.

“How? It- Marco? Don’t go in there,” Armin suggested as he left in a hurry.

That reaction puzzled Marco. Something got under Armin’s thick skin?

Suddenly Commander Smith pushed past him to enter the building. Marco hesitated between entering to see the commotion as well as report some findings to the commander, and going back to check on Armin. Duty came before friends during battle though. He walked inside and heard the conversation better.

“C-C-Commander Smith?!” Someone stumbled over his words.

“Yes?” Erwin asked.

“Oh, so you do know the commander,” Levi half-heartedly laughed.

Marco quickly approached his superior. “Commander, sir! We finished surveying the walls, however no breach was found. We did find a few attacked villages as well as one decimated village: Ragako.”

A stuttering sound caught Marco’s attention and he turned to see the soldier on the floow in front of Levi. The two toned hair, the lanky frame, the sharp face… Marco’s blood ran cold at the impossible sight.

“M-M-M-M…” Jean couldn’t bring himself to say his dead friend’s name.

“Jean?!” Marco’s eyes widened as his shoulders slowly sunk.

The shock must’ve been as great for Jean as it was for Marco since he immediately passed out. Marco’s conflicting feelings made him want to do the same but he managed to at least stay upright.

Over the next few days he learned Jean was the heroic soldier that nearly sacrificed himself fighting everyone, and ultimately he learned Jean hailed from a world similar to theirs but slightly different. And while it wasn’t the same Jean he grew up with, he had the same ticks, the same mannerisms, and the same charm that captured Marco’s steel heart long ago.

It took a lot of internal debate but he eventually settled on welcoming this new Jean back into his life. And he’d be damned if he couldn’t protect this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short update, but this is something I wrote a while back and never posted to here. It's something to help tide you guys over while I write the current chapter. A lot happened last month and I never really had the chance to write so I'm working on the next part. I promise its worth the wait but this brief story gives everyone a view into Marco's past for a change. And yes this will be referenced in the main story so keep an eye out for some small details ;)


	11. No One is Expendable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Struggling with the loss of his memories, Jean discovers what he knows and doesn't know as events for him and his friends to be quick thinking and adapt. Also Levi Squad learns more than they ever wanted about Connie's shaving.

Keeping out of the view of the others, Marco lead Jean to a short stone fence circling the house. He gestured for Jean to sit while he regained his composure. Drying his eyes with the palms of his hand, Marco ignored the blood he streaked across his dirty face. He swallowed his sobs and tried to act as professional as a soldier should towards civilians. A surprise hand on his shoulder caused Marco to yelp, killing any progress he made.

“Everything okay, Bodt?” Levi questioned. He quirked an eyebrow upon seeing Marco’s reaction. His eyes looked at Jean next.

“Of course, sir!” Marco answered out of habit, not processing his words until Levi squinted at him. “I mean, no. Nothing went according to plan and… and Jean sacrificed himself for us.”

Levi pressed his lips together as he scanned Jean for any injury. “Sacrificed himself? He looks unharmed.”

Jean glanced between the two soldiers before averting his gaze at the ground. He rested his head in his arms.

“He lost his memory.”

That sentence left a bitter taste in Marco’s mouth. Jean paid a hefty price to save his friends’ lives.

“He lost _what_?” Levi’s eyes widened momentarily.

“His memories. It’s more accurate to say they were stolen from him.”

“Quit speaking in vague sentences. Tell me what happened.”

Levi crossed his arms as Marco grated his patience slowly.

“Rod Reiss took his memories,” Marco bit his lip. “He wanted to kill me and Armin so Jean started talking about all the secrets he knew. Rod Reiss somehow peered inside his head and saw all of Jean’s memories, including those from the other world. He thought Jean was somehow tricking him and took Jean’s memories after that.”

Nodding at the information, Levi took a few steps towards Jean. He squatted down in front of Jean. “Do you know who I am?”

“…Captain Levi?” Jean guessed, his voice having no confidence to it.

“Interesting,” Levi mused as he pushed himself back up. “Bring him inside. We need to speak with Mr. Reiss anyways.”

As Levi turned to walk back, Marco’s trembling hand grabbed the back of Levi’s jacket. The captain stopped when he felt the unexpected tug.

“Sir, what happened to the plan?” Marco wondered.

Levi sighed. “Bullshit happened. Your cart was intercepted and fooled us. It was a while until we found out and corrected our mistake.”

Marco let Levi’s jacket go, allowing the captain to return inside. With a heavy sigh, Marco glanced at Jean.

Guilt washed over Marco as Jean rocked back and forth gently. His friend’s eyes darted back and forth around the dirt.

“Nurse Bodt, who am I?” Jean finally spoke up.

Marco swallowed before summarizing, “Jean Kirschtein, member of the Survey Corps and hero of Utgard.”

“Why am I here? Why are we here?”

“How much do you recall about the government here in the walls?”

“King Fritz rules over us. All three branches of the military answer to the crown,” Jean replied, finally meeting Marco’s eyes. Some of his confidence seemed to have returned.

“Correct, but he’s not the true ruler,” Marco informed Jean, earning a surprise gasp from Jean. “The man that took your memories is from the family that truly rules the walls. They are kept in power with a secret police we’ve been trying to find for years. They kill innocents and would rather see humanity die than let us go beyond the Walls.”

“Why did he take my memories? Can he give them back?” Jean stood back up.

“I… I don’t know. But we’re going to go interrogate him now,” Marco pointed at the house.

“Good. I want my memories back,” Jean grasped Marco’s forearm, staring intently at his friend. “Thanks for the information, nurse.”

Marco bit his lip, nodding along. He lead Jean towards the cabin and continued to hide his disappointment.

Inside the building Jean and Marco saw a pile of bodies in one corner of the room alongside several tied up commoners. Marco narrowed his eyes at them, knowing their appearance hid their true loyalties and identities. Bound in a chair in the middle of the room sat the object of Marco’s ire exchanging curt words with Levi.

“Why did you try to kidnap your daughter and Ymir?” Levi asked once more.

“Let me go you insect!” Rod Reiss shouted. “Do you know who I am?”

“Huh? That doesn’t sound like an answer,” Levi placed a hand to his ear before sending a fist into Rod Reiss’ stomach. The middle aged man coughed wildly after that hit.

“Who do you think feeds your ungrateful asses?! I do!”

“And you also kidnapped my soldiers, tortured them, and if I was told correctly, you stole one of their memories. Now tell me would someone who supports the Survey Corps do that?” Levi squinted at the arrogant prisoner.

“Because you have my daughter and that titan shifter. And that insolent soldier refused to tell me the truth. Do you know what will happen to you guys since you captured me? You’re all going to die!”

“Refused to tell you the truth?” Marco shouted. “You looked inside his head! You saw the truth. He’s from another world! One where you did this before!”

Marco’s outburst surprised those in the room, even the commander.

“Another world?” Rod Reiss squinted at Marco. “Do you take me for an idiot? There’s no such thing.”

“Then how would a Survey Corps soldier know all those things? You saw it for yourself!”

Rod’s eyes widened briefly as he considered Marco’s word. Eventually he shook his head. “Lies. And even if I wanted to give him back his thoughts, they are gone. Like smoke in the wind.”

“Don’t lie to us!”

“Marco, calm down.” Levi glared at him.

“Marco?” Rod echoed. He looked at Marco before a pitiful frown came to his face. “You want your best friend to remember you? Sorry to tell ya but all that’s gone. But what wonderful memories you two had. You should’ve seen his last thought. It’s tragic, really.”

Marco gritted his teeth, stepping forward. A quick arm blocked his way. Levi’s stone cold gaze froze him in place.

“Don’t. I’ll handle him. Fetch me the gun from the table,” Levi instructed.

Marco nodded, retrieving the weapon.

Levi grabbed the weapon and cocked the gun, pointing it at Rod’s head.

“W-what are you doing?” Rod demanded to know.

“Tying up a loose end. If you got nothing to say I have no reason to keep you alive.”

“Wait! I need my daughter and that freckled brat. The freckled brat is what the Church of the Walls wants. She’s attached to my daughter so I wanted to keep her safe.” Rod finally started talking.

“See?” Levi pulled the gun back. “Now I have a reason to keep you around.”

Jean leaned on the wall by the door, overhearing the interrogation. The man sitting in the room robbed him of his memories. Approaching Rod Reiss felt wrong, even if thinking about what he did made Jean’s blood boil. Jean perked up a bit when Marco approached. The nurse looked crestfallen.

“I’m sorry, Jean. Your memories are gone.” Marco placed his head against the wall.

“I… I heard. We were friends?” Jean dared to ask, noticing the water collecting under Marco’s eyes.

“We are… or were.”

Jean nodded as he pondered the strange thought. It felt weird knowing that someone was supposed to be his friend but having no recollection of them. He didn’t dwell on this thought long as some strange sounds on the other side of the wall caught his attention.

“Are there others supposed to be joining us?” Jean inquired.

“What? No. This is most the squad and some back-ups.”

A distinct click on the other side of the wall caused Jean’s eyes to widen. Out of instinct Jean dove forward into Marco, bringing both of them to the ground. Dozens of gunshots rang out, splintering the wooden walls as they pierced them with ease. Woodchips sprayed across the room as the soldiers reacted. Jean pressed Marco into the floor.

The door was kicked off the hinges as multiple military police came in with smoking guns. They spread throughout the room looking for survivors. One poor soldier who groaned soon found a knife at his throat.

“Play dead,” Jean whispered as he let his body go limp on top of Marco.

With little choice, Marco heeded the advice. He cracked an eye though.

Through the smoke and dust a small figure entered the room. Dark hair flowed down her back in a ponytail, yet she carried herself with a tremendous presence. She walked over to where Rod Reiss and Levi were when the hail of bullets arrived. Somehow through all the chaos Rod remained seated and unharmed.

“There you are. A little birdie told me you went and got yourself captured, Rod. You really need to work on that.”

The lady produced a knife and quickly liberated the king of the walls from his bonds.

“That’s what I got you for. Your shit men didn’t see this coming,” Rod complained, rubbing a wrist.

“Careful,” she warned, placing the knife at his throat. “These shit men _and women_ are what’s protecting your sorry ass. Besides, I think they learned their lesson.”

The knife pointed at the commoners who were previously tied up, glinting toward a pile of bodies.

“Thanks. If you want good news I believe we caught Humanity’s strongest midget.” Rod pointed to the ground but found Levi nowhere to be seen. “Wait, where did he-”

A gunshot went off, followed by someone’s throat being cleared.

“Looking for me?” Levi drew attention towards himself. A soldier fell to the floor as aimed the gun once more. “If there were a time to get the fuck out of here, now’s the time.”

Levi glared at Marco as some soldiers scrambled towards Levi.

More gunshots went off along with shouting.

“Don’t kill him, we need him!” Rod shouted.

Marco took the signal and nudged Jean. While he expected Jean to resist, his friend sprung to his feet and dragged Marco up with him. They bolted for the door while Levi shouted and the sounds of fighting filled the air. They soon found their way blocked by a girl with a gun.

“And where do you-” the girl smiled but Jean swatted the gun out of his face and punched her in the nose. She yelled until Jean hit her gut and she doubled over.

“Oi, where do you think you’re going?” Another soldier outside shouted.

As the man approached, Jean jumped him.

Marco glanced at the girl’s body and took a knife from its sheath. He prepared to fight the soldier with Jean but the man was already out cold in a heap.

“Marco, this way!” Jean motioned for him to follow. They started sprinting down the street until more soldiers turned the corner onto the street.

Marco grabbed Jean by his collar and pulled him into a narrow alley. He covered Jean’s mouth as the patrol walked by. When they heard commotion coming from the house the soldiers sprinted forward.

“We need to escape but stay hidden,” Marco stated.

Jean rolled his eyes. He gently nudged Marco’s hand off his mouth. “I assumed that, but where can we go?”

“Uh, the cabin?” Marco shrugged his shoulders.

“As good a plan as any. We just need to get outside the city and find some horses,” Jean glanced around. “There should be supplies at the military depot.”

Seeing a clearing, Marco walked out of the alley. He grabbed Jean’s wrist and pulled him along. “Not a bad idea but how do we get there?”

Jean looked at his surroundings for a moment. His eyes scanned the rooftops until a smile crept on his face. “Over there, that will take us to the town center. I know the way from there.”

Marco balked at that. “What? How?”

“I can’t remember personal details but I do remember the city I grew up in. We’re still in Trost.”

“Wait, what?”

“Oi, what are you two doing there!” A deep voice called out.

Both boys turned to find a man bearing the Roses of the Garrison approaching.

Acting on instinct, Jean slipped his hand into Marco’s. He raised it to show the man as he grew closer. “What does it look like? I’m relaxing.”

The man stopped once he could make out Jean and Marco more clearly.

“Relaxing? There are multiple reports of gunshots and shouting in this direction,” the soldier crossed his arms.

Jean’s face fell from feigned surprise. “Really? The only shouting I’ve heard the last hour is standing right next to me.”

For added effect Jean slapped Marco on the ass, causing the timid boy to yelp from surprise.

The soldier stared between the two before cracking a toothy grin. “I see what you mean. I hope you buy the lass a new dress if you did that.”

The soldier pointed to the front where Rod Reiss ripped it a bit earlier.

“If she does a good job, maybe. I have needs.”

“I understand, carry on.” The soldier waved before running off in the opposite direction.

Jean and Marco’s hands remained intertwined until they were sure the man was gone. Jean’s cocky façade fell with his hand. He let out a held breath before he started giggling.

“I can’t believe that worked,” Jean shook his head. “You don’t even look like a woman.”

“I can’t believe you slapped my butt,” Marco groaned, blushing at the thought and lingering sting.

“What? It’s a good butt. I don’t think I ever asked why you’re in a dress though.”

“Later, we need to get to safety,” Marco started to move towards the town center until a whistle got their attention.

The boys turned to the alley across from where they were hiding, finding three pairs of eyes staring back at them. Pressed against the walls of the narrow alley were Sasha, Connie, and Armin staring.

“Hey boys,” Sasha smiled, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Uh, hi?” Jean waved back, confused by the new faces.

“H-How much of that did you guys see?” Marco’s face flushed.

“Enough. Finally pursuing your self-interests, Marco?” Connie snickered.

“What? N-N-No! We-” Marco started to sputter.

“We saw the whole,” Armin interrupted. “That was some quick thinking.”

Jean stared blankly at the three soldiers before whispering to Marco. “Who are they?”

“Who are we?!” Sasha shouted until two deft hands covered her mouth.

“Friends but we need to move in case anyone heard us,” Marco explained to Jean. He faced his teammates next. “And I’ve got a long story for you guys.”

Before taking off towards the town center Jean narrowed his eyes at Armin. “Do all my friends cross-dress?”

Unlike many of their previous conversations, Armin didn’t have an immediate response.

\---

Echoes of numerous conversations blended together as they bounced around the brick walls outside the town square. The remnants of Levi squad murmured amongst themselves as they attempted to conjure up a plan of action. Despite being in the shade of houses, the hot weather reflected the intensity of the conversation.

“Going for the barracks is asking to be captured,” Connie scoffed at Jean and Marco’s original plan. “I’d rather risk hiding in the crowd until the heat dies down.”

“That ain’t gonna happen for quite a while. And hide among the crowd? With your bald head? They’d spot us as soon as we left the shade,” Jean joked at Connie’s expense.

Connie narrowed his eyes at Jean, “Just because you don’t remember me doesn’t give you an excuse to talk about my head.”

“I’m not insulting you. Just pointing out the obvious.”

“It’s a good head,” Sasha interrupted, quickly hugging Connie to try and prevent the argument form going any further.

“He does shave it pretty regularly,” Marco noted, earning an eye roll from Jean.

“That’s not the only thing he shaves,” Sasha winked.

Connie sputtered nonsense, trying to form words to shut Sasha up.

The other three boys blinked but made no attempt to comment.

“Ew,” Jean spoke, his face contorting from disgust.

“Ew?” Connie glared at him. “Why ew?”

“That’s… gross.”

“Gross? It’s hygienic!” Connie defended himself.

“Well, I guess that’s possible,” Armin rubbed his chin before his face flushed even darker. “But that’s not a line of thought I want to follow right now. We need to get ideas on how to get out of Trost and back to Ymir, Reiner, and Historia before the Military Police finds them.”

“Is it the same place we stayed at before we came to Trost? We’ve been out of the loop since the plan this morning went awry,” Marco wondered.

“No we moved to another shack closer to the city just in case. Connie and I joined the captain to retrieve you guys along with two other squads. We got Armin and got out when we saw you two escape,” Sasha explained.

“How’d you guys miss the fact the house got surrounded and filled with bullets?”

“Armin needed some air so we walked away. When we heard the commotion we came back but it was too late,” Sasha lowered her eyes to the ground. “We thought we lost you two until we heard Jean’s loud voice.”

“To think Rod Reiss possesses the power to steal memories. That’s a dangerous ability and a very dangerous enemy,” Armin noted.

Jean’s eyes softened at the mention of Rod Reiss, crossing his arms over his chest.

“We’ll have to get him and force him to give them back then,” Connie stated, slamming a fist into his palm.

“I fucking wish. He said they were gone- poof!” Jean shook his head.

“What can you recall?” Armin gently asked. “You don’t have to answer if it’s took painful.”

“I… I don’t know. Random facts, random places, a few faces. Like I know what Braus did during training to get her nickname but I didn’t recognize her face until Bodt told me. I kind of recognized Captain Levi but it was an honest guess.” Jean explained.

“Do you remember the other me? From your world?” Connie wondered.

“Huh? The hell are you on about, Springer?” Jean narrowed his eyes, turning his head just a bit.

“That’s a no. Well there goes our ace in the hole,” Connie groaned.

The ringing of a large bell sounded across the city brought the small group of out of their discussion. The murmurs of conversations faded away under the incessant noise, grabbing everyone’s attention. From their position in the alley by the town square, the group saw a large man emblazoned with the unicorn of the Military step onto a podium normally reserved for the town crier.

“News from the capital!” The man bellowed, holding a rather large paper. “Treachery from the Survey Corps!”

“Oh shit,” Connie muttered.

“Commander Erwin Smith plotted to overthrow King Fritz in a bid to gain power. Due to the decisive action of the General Zackley and the Military Police this coup was stamped out before it could begin. All members of the Survey Corps are considered traitors and are to be arrested upon sight. As punishment for this crime of the highest order they will all be hung with their leader in capital pending a trial headed by leaders of government, church, and military. Report any Survey Corps members to your local Garrison or Military Police members. Until all of these treacherous snakes are arrested you may notice heightened security and more patrols around the city.”

Once the soldier quieted down, talk returned to the town square.

“Well there goes going to the barracks,” Armin sighed. His eyes glanced around the group for a moment. “And you three might want to get rid of those jackets. They’re a giant target on your back. Literally.”

Heeding Armin’s advice, Jean, Connie, and Sasha disrobed. The trio looked around until Connie pointed to a crate. He propped open the lid to reveal an empty box. Stashing their jackets in the empty crate, Connie took a seat on it to keep it sealed.

“So what do we do?” Jean asked the obvious.

“We return back to the house and get together with the others,” Marco replied. “If the Military Police is tracking them it’s only a matter of time until they catch up. We can’t leave them to their own fates.”

“What about Levi? You said he was alive when you two escaped,” Sasha reminded the group.

“And the commander? That won’t be a trial, it’ll be an execution!” Connie bawled up his fists. “What should we do Armin?”

Armin’s eyes widened. “Me?”

“Yeah, you’re smart and shit.”

“B-but I don’t know. All our allies are either scattered or captured.”

“We consolidate and live,” Jean pointed out. “The Captain sacrificed himself so Marco and I could escape. If anyone can take care of themselves it’s him. The commander is in the capital and we can’t do shit about that since we’re stuck in Trost. Our goal should be to stay alive. We get who we can and hide until we figure out our next steps.”

The others stared at Jean in silence until Armin nodded his head.

“Well we should be able to leave through the gate and get to the others if they’re close. Connie or Sasha do you know the way back to the cabin you were at?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Sasha nodded.

“Then we go there, get the others, and try to get to the capital,” Marco stated.

“What why?” Jean turned towards his rescuer.

“Bringing Reiner back to Trost is almost as bad as wearing the Survey Corps jackets. Most people recognize the hero of the Survey Corps that saved Trost years ago.”

“Saved Trost? Didn’t Eren Jaeger do that with his titan form? I thought… wait no…” Jean tried to recall more details, grunting in frustration at himself.

“No, Reiner saved Trost with his Attack titan,” Armin corrected Jean.

“I thought…. How could I not remember that?”

“You just had your memories stolen, it makes sense things are jumbled in there,” Connie shrugged. He paused for a moment and frowned. “Do you remember anything _big_ about Trost?”

“Big? Besides the Colossal titan?” Jean quirked an eyebrow.

“The Colossal titan?” Connie echoed back, paling a bit. “He didn’t attack Trost. It was the Beast titan.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jean grumbled, pressing his head into his hands. “I can’t even remember basic shit.”

“I was trying to talk about why you joined the Survey Corps,” Connie mumbled, causing Armin and Marco’s eyes to fall on him. Connie looked between the two.

“I- no. Trost just makes me feel… empty. I don’t know why but it does.”

“Just checking.”

The others watched Marco’s shoulder slump a bit upon hearing that news.

“Let’s get to the gate,” Marco mumbled.

The others began to follow but Jean remained behind for a moment. “Am I missing something?”

“Besides your memories?” Connie mumbled, earning a sharp jab from Marco’s elbow. Thankfully Jean didn’t seem to hear. “No.”

Feeling a bit braver, the group stepped out of the alleys and into the open. Marco ignored the looks his tattered dress seemed to earn, or at least he hoped it was the dress. Armin experienced the same leering but kept to the center of the group, instinctively placing himself between Jean and Connie. Without their jackets they blended in a bit easier, even if their boots looked a bit out of place.

The journey across Trost dragged on as the sun descended behind the walls. The vast city bustled despite the scars of battle from many years ago. Large gashes across houses, cracked and broken stones from 3DMG, and burnt wood lined the buildings. Jean’s eyes traced the damage, trying to recall more. While he knew he was at Trost, his mind didn’t muster the pictures to prove it. He only heard familiar shouts, smelt corpses, and felt fear from experiencing titans for the first time.

While Jean kept his eyes on his surroundings, Sasha and Connie took a more pragmatic approach. Every discarded cloth, crate, barrel, or stand they passed were pillaged for anything useful. No one noticed until they saw Sasha wearing a scarf and carrying bread. No comments were made as the goods were shared among the starving soldiers. By the time the gate came within view Marco had a shawl, Connie a bent and broken glasses frame, Armin a ripped but blue scarf, and Jean a new hat. Each item was clearly discarded but amongst the citizens of Trost they fit right in.

“Remember our stories when we get to the gate. Sasha is with Connie, and the rest of us are friends traveling to see our families in an outside village,” Jean reiterated as the gate came within view. Like the rest of the city Military Police and Garrisons guards patrolled the front. Hopefully their disguises were good enough.

“Wait, I thought Marco was with you and Sasha and I were friends,” Connie replied.

Before Jean could correct him, the gate opened to reveal more Military Police soldiers entering. Two soldiers on horseback entered as a cart trailed behind them. Jean and the others ducked underneath a nearby building as the horsemen escorted the cart by them. In the back of the cart were foun bound soldiers: Ymir, Historia, Reiner, and Bertl.

“Oh no,” Marco mumbled, much to Jean’s confusion. “No, no, no…”

“What?” Jean whispered.

“Those are our friends,” Marco pointed to the prisoners. “The one’s we were going to meet.”

“Well, shit,” Connie sighed.

The group watched as the cart continued down the street and back towards the city they planned on leaving.

“So now what?” Jean asked, turning to get ideas form the others. To his surprise Marco was already jogging down the street. “Marco!”

“Oh no he doesn’t,” Sasha sprinted after him.

Jean swore she almost got on all fours as she leapt on the poor boy.

The others ran over to find Marco struggling under Sasha’s grasp.

“We have to get them before they reach the barracks. If they get all of them then all of this was for naught. The coup, the plan, Jean’s memories! We can’t let them get taken,” Marco spoke as he continued to try and free himself.

“Then we rescue them before they get there,” Armin stated.

Marco stopped struggling upon hearing those words.

“How?”

“We ambush them and try to hide as soon as possible. We know where the barracks are and there’s three of them to the five of us. It’s just a matter of where. I remember a little bit of Trost from when we were here,” Armin plotted.

“Are those four really that crucial?” Jean wondered, groaning at their situation.

“Yes,” Marco explained as he dusted himself off. “Reiner and Ymir are titan shifters, and Historia is royalty. They are very important pieces for the Survey Corps.”

“What about Bertl?”

“Uh… his sleeping position can predict the weather?” Connie offered.

“Really?” Jean quirked an eyebrow, disbelief evident in his tone.

“Like 60% of the time. If you don’t count-”

“Yes he’s important. He’s our teammate as much as you,” Marco dispelled any notion of leaving anyone behind.

“Fine. We got five of us and what weapons?” Jean inquired.

“I got a knife when we escaped,” Marco pulled the blade out from his bra.

Jean’s eyes widened. “You had that in there the entire time?”

Marco shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, I don’t have pockets.”

Jean simply shook his head as Connie and Sasha both revealed knives. “So we have three weapons. That should be enough I guess for three soldiers. Our best chance is probably catching them on the baker’s street. It’s narrow and full of alleys in case we need to make a quick getaway.”

“The baker’s street?” Armin repeated back.

“Yeah, it’s a few blocks from the barracks and smells like bread most the damn time. You can’t miss it. We hit them, take out the soldiers, and get our friends. We run back into the alleys and regroup by the tall tower over there. But if we want to cut them off we need to go now.”

Jean bolted down the street as the others scrambled to keep up. They ducked into a random side street as Jean guided them between various buildings. No one said a word until the familiar creaking wheels of a cart caught their attention.

“Is that them?” Connie asked between breaths.

“Better be,” Jean answered back.

A few minutes later everyone came to a halt in an alley off a smaller street. As everyone stopped to catch their breaths, Armin noticed something.

“It smells like a bakery,” he commented, relishing the aroma.

“Duh, hence the name,” Jean gave a cocky grin.

Clopping echoed down the deserted cobblestone street.

“So… how do we ambush them?” Connie asked.

“Leave that to me. You four deal with the cart. Connie, can I have your knife?” Jean extended an empty palm.

Hesitating for a moment, Connie dropped the blade in Jean’s waiting hand. “Why me?”

“I’ve seen you fight. You’re better off without it. Now everyone hide in those two alleys. When I go, prepare to jump the cart. And remember, it’s your lives or theirs.”

Nodding along, Connie, Sasha, and Armin walked to their new hiding spots.

Marco frowned before finally nodding and joining the others in hiding.

Jean ducked behind a barrel and waited. Eventually the clopping grew louder until the horses passed by the others. Jean waited until the horsemen were by him to strike. Before the horses passed next to him, he kicked the barrel at the creature.

“Whoa!” The soldier shouted as his horse reared back, nearly throwing him down.

The other horse reared up, catching its rider completely off guard. The man fell onto the cobblestone with a loud crack.

Jean didn’t give the one remaining rider time to recover. He ran over to the soldier, grabbing him by his jacket. Already unbalanced by the horse, the man came tumbling down with a little extra force from Jean. A swift kick to the man’s face knocked him out.

Jean looked back to see his partners already swarming the cart. Marco went for the driver while the others went for their friends. Marco fought for the reigns while Sasha worked on everyone’s binds. Even with the knife in hand, Marco struggled to get even with the petite driver. His slashes missed by wide margins.

“Why did I let the nurse have a knife?” Jean wondered until Marco finally punched the girl. She reached for something on her belt until a rather angry Ymir sent her foot into the woman’s face.

“That’s for insulting my girlfriend, bitch,” Ymir spat.

Snorting at the sight, Jean turned his attention down the street. Commotion could be heard coming their way. Quickly he got onto a horse.

“Head for the meeting point, I’ll buy us time!” Jean shouted.

Marco glanced up and paled. “Jean, no!”

Marco’s words didn’t reach Jean as he rode full speed ahead. The barracks were a bit further than he remembered and around a different corner, but it was there. Like his ears lead him to believe, a small patrol of soldiers were already gathering outside.

“Where are the prisoners? The captain expected them fifteen minutes ago,” someone grumbled. He quieted when Jean rode into view.

“The prisoners escaped! We were attacked by Survey Corps soldiers on the way here,” Jean yelled. The Military Police soldiers jumped to their feet. “They were heading towards the town center. We must hurry!”

“Why the hell are you here then?! Let’s move!” An older gruff soldier ran the way Jean came from. More soldiers followed him down the way Jean rode.

Jean waited a few moments before riding to the other side of the building. While he wasn’t sure his distraction would work, he wasn’t about to risk staying too long. His horse made it just out of view of the barracks when he heard the familiar sound of 3DMG. He dared not look until three soldiers landed in front of him. The horse came to an immediate stop.

“And where do you think you’re going? I thought the prisoners went the other way,” one of the hooded figures commented.

“I was going to try and cut them off,” Jean lied.

“Really? The town square is in the opposite direction. If I were you I’d get off the horse,” the tallest figure requested.

Doing as he was told, Jean dismounted and glanced between the three figures.

“Where’s your uniform soldier?” The first figure asked.

“Lost in the ambush,” Jean shrugged. His cocky attitude faded when that figure produced a gun.

“Uh huh, and which squad do you belong to?”

“Good question,” Jean replied. “Captain Birkowitz’.”

“Who the fuck-”

The first figure began to speak until Jean dove at him. The man fired a shot, but Jean’s sudden movement caused it to go wide. The noise startled the horse and it flew forward into the other two figures.

Jean grabbed the man’s arm before he could reload and pulled him closer. He allowed the man’s momentum to carry him forward. Using that to his advantage, Jean head-butted the man’s face. The impact had a satisfying crunch, causing the man to howl in pain. Jean unsheathed his blade and plunged it into the man’s chest repeatedly.

“Randall!” The tall figure called out as he recovered from the horse knocking him over.

Allowing the man’s anger to take hold, Jean waited for the man lunge before stepping aside. Jean kicked the back of the man’s leg, forcing him to crash down on one knee. He grabbed the back of the man’s hood and hair. Jean pulled back to expose the man’s neck, slitting his throat. Next Jean turned his attention to smallest figure of the group.

“Want some, shorty?” Jean tried to lure the figure, but it remained stationary.

When it became clear it wasn’t moving, Jean went in for the kill. However, any punches he threw were dodged with practiced ease. For the first time in a while, Jean was unable to land a strike. Much to his surprise, a foot flew towards his chin. He stepped back in time for it to graze only his nose. His hat wasn’t as lucky as it flew off his head. The small figure instantly froze.

“Jean Kirschtein?” a female voice asked.

Jean tensed a bit at the nostalgic voice. Yet this brought a sense of dread instead of relief like the other’s had. “Who’s asking?”

The figure reached for its hood, finally lowering it. To Jean’s surprise it was a tiny blond girl with icy blue eyes.

“Annie Leonhart,” she answered.

Before she could go on a flash of brown struck her from behind. The girl fell to the ground as Jean tried to place the name in his head.

Jean looked ahead to see Marco shaking his fist, wincing from pain.

“Nurse Bodt?” Jean questioned as Marco walked forward, anger written on his face.

“What the fuck was that?! That wasn’t part of the plan!” Marco grabbed Jean by the collar.

“I had to buy us time. I didn’t want you guys to get captured again,” Jean chuckled, trying to ease the tension. “Didn’t know nurses could throw punches. Nice shot.”

“Don’t change the subject. Your recklessness almost cost you your life! Now let’s get out of here before they get back up,” Marco pulled Jean like a toddler away.

Jean broke Marco’s grasp and frowned. Rather than confront his rescuer, he trailed Marco. They walked towards the meeting point in silence, dipping into various alleyways and side streets to throw any would-be trackers off their trail. Something about the way Marco carried himself during their journey both piqued Jean’s curiosity as well as irked him. Marco’s sharp movements were in direct contrast to the embarrassed and shaky strides he took in Trost earlier in the day. After observing Marco longer than he cared to admit, Jean’s resentment of his rescuer’s attitude got the best of him.

“I’m not sorry for diverging from the plan. It had to be done.”

Marco spun around on his heels, fury still written on his face. “No it didn’t. We were fine! You’ve got to stop running off and trying to get yourself killed. We’re trying to keep everyone alive.”

“And in order to save those four I had to risk my life. Four for one is a better trade than all of us dying.”

Marco let out a heavy breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You already gave your memories today trying to save Armin and I. That’s more than enough.”

“So better me than anyone else. I’m already a hindrance since I can’t even remember my own squad. Logically I’m the most expendable. I’m not a shifter, I’m not royalty, and I’m not special. Better the injured guy than the healthy and functional squad,” Jean tried to reason.

That explanation earned Jean another hand around his neck. He was forced against a nearby wall as Marco pushed him against the rough stone

“Don’t you ever say that again! You aren’t expendable. No one is expendable. Ignoring your fighting skills, knack for leadership, and ability to slaughter titans, you’re more special than you know. You just don’t remember why,” Marco glared, lowering his hand to Jean’s chest. He still pressed Jean against the wall. “You’ve given so much to us already. You’ve given everything in this city.”

“I haven’t died here yet so technically-” Jean tried to joke. Marco increased the force on his chest, effectively shutting Jean up.

“Don’t you fucking dare joke about dying here! You idiot, you- I really wish you could remember it all. You truly have no idea what happened here in Trost. You don’t remember the bloody streets, the titans we fought, the comrades we lost. It’s some sort of sick joke,” Marco’s voice trailed off as he removed his hand from Jean’s chest. He walked a few feet before slumping against the building and falling to his butt. Marco mumbled under his breath, “You’re special to me.”

Jean looked down at his friend, his stomach dropping at the sight. He couldn’t explain the inexplicable sadness that fell over him but he leaned over his friend. Something about the situation clearly struck a chord with Marco.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. Thanks for saving me,” Jean apologized.

Marco his lip, inhaling deeply as he took Jean’s hand. “It better not.”

Jean stood in front of Marco, trying to understand his supposed friend. He wanted to give him more attention but the sound of boots brought his attention elsewhere. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a small patrol of soldiers heading their way, each wearing a damned unicorn patch.

“Sorry for this Marco,” Jean apologized just as the soldiers caught sight of the two leaning against a building. He reached the edge of Marco’s dress and pushed his hand up it just a bit. With his other hand he caressed the back of Marco’s head. Marco’s shock barely had any time to register when he felt Jean’s lips against his.

“Hey, what are-” The soldier spoke until he saw what the two were doing. “Excuse us citizens but there is a curfew in place until the Survey Corps are detained. Please return to your home.”

Jean broke from Marco, who remained pale and silent. “Of course, soldier. Don’t mind us.”

“Carry on, sir.” The soldier offered a wry smile.

Jean grabbed Marco by the wrist and led them to the door of the building they were leaning against. Luck was on their side when the door opened, allowing Jean to drag Marco inside. He carefully shut the door and tried to contain his astonishment.

“I can’t believe that worked,” Jean muttered as he fell with his back against the door.

“You kissed me,” Marco repeated back to himself as he copied Jean’s movement. Both boys slid to the floor.

“That actually fucking worked. We’re alive,” Jean repeated but his friend’s disbelief numbed his senses to the world.

Jean remained puzzled by Marco’s reaction until two blades were suddenly pressed against their necks. They looked up at the familiar blades: titan slaying blades. Their eyes followed the swords up to a man with a wrinkled face and light curly hair. His eyes narrowed down on the two boys.

“And just who might you two be?” The man questioned.

“Uh, we- well we were trying-” Jean tried to conjure an explanation but his words failed him.

Marco stared at the man for a moment until a spark of recognition hit him. “Oluo?”

The man quirked an eyebrow. “You know my name?”

“It’s me, Marco! Marco Bodt!” Marco gestured to his face.

Oluo lowered his blades and leaned down, squinting at the boys.

“Marco? By the goddesses it’s really you! What are you doing here? And why are you in a dress?”

The poor boy hung his head in shame as a chuckle escaped Jean. The boy desperately needed a pair of pants.

“I’m still wondering why he shaved his legs,” Jean teased, earning a punch to his shoulder.

“Jean!” Marco’s face flushed crimson.

“Questions for later. Honey, come here!” Oluo called out to a dark room.

From the darkness a small blond woman emerged, cradling something in here arms. She appeared no bigger than Armin but just as petite. She cautiously walked forward until she saw the two boys on the ground.

“What is it? Are we safe?” She wondered.

“Yes, more than that actually. It’s Marco,” Oluo smiled, sheathing his blades.

“Marco?” Petra cocked her head as she joined her husband. She knelt down to inspect the freckled boy. As she lowered herself, both boys could see what she was cradling: a small child. “Oh my, it is you! How you’ve grown.”

“Thanks, Ms. Ral,” Marco smiled.

“Oh it’s Mrs. Ral now,” she smiled, lowering the small child a little further.

“Could’ve been Mrs. Bozado,” Oluo shook his head, but a swift kick to his shin shut him up.

Despite smiling, Petra answered through gritted teeth, “We had a deal and I won.”

“Highest titan kills, yes,” Oluo spoke as he rubbed his shin. “If it was individual I would’ve son by a longshot.”

“Should’ve been specific then, honey,” Petra shrugged.

Jean and Marco watched the couple quarrel until the pair turned their attention to their unexpected guests. “Now who’s the young man you’re with? Levi didn’t mention any new squad members after we retired.”

“Oh, right! This is Jean,” Marco introduced.

Jean simply waved a hand as the couple’s faces dropped.

“Kirschtein?” They said together.

Jean’s blood chilled when they spoke. “How do you know me?”

Marco’s face paled as the two former Levi squad members looked between themselves. “How _do_ you know that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, full chapter finally. Longer than I anticipated but just as fun all the way through. Some more missing faces revealed and Jean realizing he didn't lose everything. Just his memories of those he knew and everything about Marco ;)
> 
> What do you guys think about this turn of events and Jean's quick thinking? Cause I'm pretty sure we all know how Marco feels right now...
> 
> As always feedback is greatly wanted and appreciated. Comments, kudos, reblogs, and likes are loved here and on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com/)!


	12. The Enemy of my Enemy is my...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi Squad attempts to escape Trost but in order to do so they must swallow their pride and make a deal with the devil. All while Jean continues to find his place on his team, mostly though pressing people's buttons.

Under the darkening sky, a group moved quickly but quietly through the back alleys of Trost. Jean navigated Marco, Oluo, and Petra as he best he could to find the original meeting point. While Jean might’ve succeeded in buying time for his friends, he also successfully threw more uncertainty into a plan already riddled with it.

“Meeting in public was a stupid idea,” Oluo criticized.

“We didn’t exactly have many options,” Marco replied, frowning at the remark.

“If Survey Corps members are being hunted, then try to at least aim for inside a building. Especially if breaking out prisoners.”

“Noted. But like I said we didn’t have much time. The original plan went to pot when the fake kidnapping didn’t go according to plan.”

“Obviously, otherwise the captain wouldn’t be a prisoner and your group would be meeting with us about halfway across the city in the morning. When Erwin came to us with this mission many moons ago, he didn’t explain this part,” Oluo rolled his eyes. “If I had planned-”

“If you had planned it we’d likely be dead,” Petra cut him off. “If something planned by the captain, commander, and Hange failed then I don’t think you were going to do any better.”

Oluo opened his mouth for a retort but a glare from his wife ended that prospect.

“Fine. But I thought he was crazy when he mentioned a kid from another world. Especially _that_ kid,” Oluo frowned. That comment caught the attention of Jean. “The odds are… just astronomical. The very kid-”

This time a swift hand over his mouth shut him up.

“Honey, why don’t you try being quiet until we rescue our successors from certain death? Thanks!” Petra smiled but her tense tone gave away her actual thoughts.

“What about me?” Jean asked.

“Nothing right now,” Marco shook his head. He placed a firm hand on Jean’s shoulder. “I’ll explain once we get out of Trost and to safety but it won’t make any sense until then.”

“Whatever you say nurse,” Jean nodded. He frowned at not knowing the whole truth but that was his existence at the moment. Knowing facts and people was only helpful if he knew the context and faces for that information.

Oluo and Petra exchanged concerned looks once more. 

“Nurse?” Petra wondered.

Marco sighed, shaking his head before plastering a fake smile. “I’m his nurse.”

“But aren’t you… you know what, I’ll ask later. Let’s find the others before someone else does.”

The others hummed in agreement and continued as quiet as possible, with the footsteps and an occasional squeal echoing down the alleyway. Oluo frowned in disapproval, glancing at the bundle wrapped around his wife’s chest.

“Did we have to bring our son?” He questioned.

“I’m not leaving him alone, especially tonight. If this secret MP is as ruthless as Erwin has lead us to believe than I won’t risk our only child becoming a pawn in their schemes.”

“I forgot, congratulations on your marriage and child. Sorry I couldn’t make the ceremony,” Marco beamed at the couple.

“All the blame lies with Erwin. He’s the one who planned that expedition the weekend of our wedding and didn’t so much as tell you guys we were even getting married,” Petra rolled her eyes. “At least he had the courtesy to send us some of that brandy he’s always drinking as a gift.”

“That stuff burns,” Jean shuddered. He stopped at the edge of the alley, scouting the open space. The tower loomed ahead.

“You’ve had it before?” Petra turned her head.

“You remember having it?” Marco furrowed his brows.

“Yes, I think? Not sure when but I think I’ve had it,” Jean shrugged, not really understanding the implications of admitting that. “We’re here by the way.”

Marco suspended his disbelief and joined Jean at the end of the alleyway. He peered around to see if any movement caught his attention. There were some small groups of civilians walking around aimlessly but none that looked like patrols. In one of those groups Marco spotted the tallest member of Levi Squad.

“Guys, I see Bertholdt. They made it!” Marco smiled as he informed the others.

The group emerged from the alley and made a beeline for the other members.

“Guys, we’re here,” Jean announced when they got within earshot of the others.

Armin, Historia, Ymir, Bertl, Reiner, Connie, and Sasha glanced up to see their missing partners as well as two familiar faces.

“Oh thank goodness, you’re both alright,” Sasha spoke exasperated, throwing her head back and letting out a held breath.

“Thanks to Marco,” Jean confessed.

“Reiner, Bertl, Ymir, and Historia,” Marco pointed to each one as they finished their approach. “We can go over more later but we need to get to a hiding spot. There’s a curfew going on and we almost got caught.”

“Great, this keeps getting better and better,” Ymir crossed her arms. “At least we have a place.”

Marco’s eyes widened. “And where’s that?”

“The Reeves Company headquarters.”

“Reeves? Why does that sound familiar?”

“They are same people who kidnapped you first. Before they got betrayed by the secret police.”

Marco’s face fell with that revelation.

“No way! Why would we go to them?!”

Ymir placed her hands on her hips, walking into Marco’s personal space. “Because they’re part of the reason we found you. Levi made a deal with the President.”

“What kind of deal?”

“One where they didn’t die and neither did you three. Lucky for us it’s not too far from here according to the happy couple over there,” Ymir gestured with her thumb over her shoulder to Connie and Sasha.

“Yeah, we went there earlier before going to rescue you guys.” Connie nodded along.

“Then let’s get going. The longer we wait the more likely it is we get caught,” Oluo stated, snapping the Levi squad members out of their squabble. “Someone lead the way.”

As Connie and Sasha jumped to their feet, Historia smiled widely at the two adults among them. “Petra, Oluo! It’s been so long. How’d you end up here?”

“These two,” Oluo waggled his finger between Jean and Marco, “They collapsed into our hiding spot after kissing, I think. They weren’t really specific on the details.”

Marco’s face flushed crimson.

“We had to fool some guards,” Jean explained further, not as bothered by that information as Marco. “It worked earlier in the day and it worked again.”

“You really need more plans, Jean,” Connie chuckled.

“One thing lead to another and now we’re here,” Petra finished. “We _were_ supposed to be your ticket out of here if needed but the whole Survey Corps getting arrested threw a wrench into that plan.”

“Don’t you two live here now?” Historia frowned.

“Not anymore. At least until this whole coup blows over. Anyone associated with the Survey Corps is being interrogated and arrested. It’s not safe for any member, former or otherwise.”

“Besides, we need to leave to go meet with the others to continue our part in this grand scheme. I believe our timeline just got accelerated by this latest development.” Oluo rubbed his chin. “We’ll all need to get out of here safely tomorrow.”

The group nodded along as another giggle emerged from Petra’s bundle.

“Shh, it’s okay. Mommy’s almost there.” Petra cooed.

Marco offered a confused glance at back at Petra and Oluo but shook it off.

Jean caught that concerned look, carefully closing the distance between him and Marco.

“Everything okay? You’ve been eyeing their baby all night,” Jean whispered.

“It’s nothing. I’m just… surprised.” Marco offered no more details.

Jean squinted at Marco, unsure and a bit frustrated at the lack of answers for the evening. His irritation was put on hold when they reached a nondescript warehouse where a balding man sat outside by candlelight.

\---

While an appreciated offer, dinner remained an uncomfortable affair for those sitting at the long table in the warehouse. Levi Squad sat directly across from various members of the Reeves Company. Most of the Survey Corps members gorged themselves on the higher quality food the barracks rarely offered, but one glared daggers at the men across from him.

Marco’s irritation became abundantly clear when he recognized the voices of the men that kidnapped him that very morning, triggering the events of the day.

“They both were boys?” One man finally spoke up, trying to break the tense atmosphere. “Dan, I knew you were blind, but damn you too, Jim?”

“Shut the fuck up, Flegel,” the man across from Armin rolled his eyes. He did his best to avert Armin’s judgmental gaze.

“I mean I guess I could see the blondie down there, but the freckled one? He’s built like-”

“Will you shut your trap, Flegel?” Dimo, the balding man at the head of the table, interrupted. “We’ve already caused them enough trouble.”

“Trouble? We’re smuggling them to safety tomorrow. They should be grateful, dad,” Flegel crossed his arms. His cocky smirk and attitude grated everyone’s nerves. “They’re even eating _our_ food.”

“Grateful?” Marco’s incredulous tone had the Survey Corps members staring worriedly in his direction.

“Marco…” Connie cautioned.

Marco slammed a fist on the table. “Should I be grateful that you guys kidnapped us? Grateful that we were beaten and bound? Grateful that we had to sneak around the city and free our friends from the military? Grateful that Jean got his memories robbed?!”

Flegel’s eyes widened, not expecting that rant. Before he could open his mouth to defend himself, Dimo stepped in.

“There’s no reason to be grateful to us, so please ignore my son. I’m sorry for the pain we’ve caused you but now we’re on the same side. If I didn’t do as I was told I’d be dead and someone else would’ve done what we did. Getting you guys out of the city tomorrow with your supplies should make amends in the eyes of your superiors. I don’t expect forgiveness from you three, however,” Dimo glanced at Armin, Jean, and Marco. “I’m sorry for the hardships we caused you so please eat your fill tonight and get some rest. I don’t know what lies ahead for the Survey Corps but you’re far from done.”

Marco’s fist loosened a bit from the apology. He pushed himself up, grabbing his food and drink, and left the table still seething. He walked towards a quieter part of the warehouse and found a crate to sit on. Only a few moments of solitude passed before another person sat down on the crate next to his.

“Are you normally this angry? I thought nurses were kind and gentle people?” Jean teased with a fork in his mouth.

Marco’s face softened a bit. “It’s been a long day.”

“Tell me about it. And I don’t even know how it started,” Jean chuckled. To Jean’s surprise, Marco’s face fell flat. “What?”

“How you making light of this? You lost your memories today. Doesn’t that bother you?”

Jean’s smirk turned into a frown as he glowered at the ground. “Of course it bothers me. Not being able to recognize friend from foe, not knowing how I got here, not knowing who to blame for my problems, it’s beyond aggravating. I can’t get my memories back and that’s the most frustrating part.”

“Then why are you trying to make it into some sort of sick joke?”

“I process pain through sarcasm. I can’t afford to let it eat me or I could very well die in this city. I was born here but I don’t intend to die here.”

Marco shook his head, regretting calling Jean out on his attempt at humor. “None of us plan to. Though we’re all surprised at how well you know the city. I didn’t think you were from Trost.”

“Born and raised.”

“Yeah, you proved that,” Marco smiled. “It’s because of that we were able to rescue everyone. Even without your memories you’re still saving us.”

Jean’s cocky smirk returned at that compliment. “I might not recognize everyone but I do recall who my comrades are.”

“About that. What do you remember about those we saved?” Marco pressed Jean.

“Honestly, confusing emotions. Historia is really sweet and gentle, Ymir is grouchy, and the other two leave a bad feeling in my stomach. I don’t know why but I feel like I can’t trust them.”

“Don’t worry you can. You just got off on the wrong foot here so that may be why you’re untrusting.” Marco lied.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Jean shrugged. He took another bite of his food as he pondered himself.

“Do you remember Eren?”

“Jaeger?” Jean replied.

A faint but audible whinny could be heard from outside.

“Yeah, him. What do you remember about him?” Marco placed his finished plate by his side.

“Hmm… I think I dislike him? But I also respect him.”

“He’s the Armored titan.”

Jean choked on his food. “What?! But I thought- no wait you told me Reiner is the Attack titan. Man, all this conflicting information is going to give me an aneurysm.”

“Please don’t. I can do physical wounds but that’s a bit beyond my abilities,” Marco chuckled.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to ask earlier. How does a nurse get dragged into a plan like this?” Jean wondered.

Marco sighed. “I only part time as a nurse. I’m a member of Levi squad like you.”

Jean blinked a few times in surprise. “Really, you?”

“What? How’s that so surprising?” Marco narrowed his eyes at Jean.

“Well, earlier you just…” Jean trailed off as he scratched his cheek, staring off at a nondescript box in the corner.

“I just what? Spill it, Jean.”

“You fought like shit.” An amused grin formed on Jean’s face.

Marco let out an offended squawk. “My fighting isn’t _that_ bad. I saved you!”

“You punched a girl from behind, that hardly counts. And Ymir had to save you from the cart driver.”

Marco shook his head as he sputtered on. “I-I-I’m not used to fighting on a cart.”

Jean’s sense of smug satisfaction went through the roof upon seeing Marco muster excuse after excuse. Pressing people’s button remained one of his favorite hobbies. “Uh huh. I hope you fight better against the titans than unsuspecting girls.”

“You know what? I didn’t come here to be sassed by my patient. I’ll see you in the morning,” Marco fumed as he grabbed his plate in a huff.

Jean broke out into laughter as he tried to get Marco to stay. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It’s just the truth.”

“Bye, Jean,” Marco rolled his eyes as his blush drowned out his freckles.

“Wait!” Jean reached out to stop his friend from leaving, but only succeeded in grabbing the lace of the dress. Jean’s grip on the lace remained as Marco tried to walk away. There was no time to warn Marco as the back of his dress untied itself the farther Marco moved. “Marco, stop!”

Just as Marco realized the top of his dress loosened to reveal his back and part of his chest, Connie and Sasha turned the corner to see this scene unfold. Marco remained frozen as Jean still grasped the lace.

Connie and Sasha blinked a few times before their mouths curled into coy smiles.

“You know there aren’t any guards to try and fools here, right?” Connie informed the boys.

Jean dropped the lace while Marco dropped his jaw.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Marco waved his arms frantically in front of him, only causing the dress to fall a bit further. He could feel Jean’s eyes trail further down his back.

“Damn you got a lot of freckles. Does your ass also-” Jean began before Marco grabbed his dress and attempted to pull it up.

“That’s it, I’m out! I’m grabbing some pants and going to bed,” Marco huffed before speeding out of the immediate vicinity. He left the other three to their rambunctious laughter.

Jean continued to eat his dinner with an amused smile as the other two joined him. “He’s way too easy to fluster.”

“Be careful, he just might return the favor one day. Marco has more wit when he’s not in a dress.” Sasha warned, her mouth full of food.

“That I gotta see,” Jean smirked.

Connie and Sasha exchanged knowing glances.

Connie cleared his throat and leaned back on his crate. “So what do you think of Marco?”

“Nurse Bodt? He’s a shit fighter but has his heart in the right place. Great at improvising though,” Jean listed off his observations from the day. “A bit touchy on some subjects.”

“Yeah he’s had a rough few years until recently,” Sasha shrugged.

“Welcome to the Survey Corps.” Jean frowned.

“Yeah, it goes with the territory. Some of us are a bit luckier than others,” Connie agreed, brushing shoulders with Sasha.

Both had somber smiles as they reflected on their situation.

“So are you two a thing or what?” Jean asked.

Both of them broke out laughing for a moment before offering an answer.

“Oh yeah, been that way for a while,” Connie smiled. “We took to each other like flies on honey. Or Sasha on potatoes.”

“That was one time!” Sasha huffed as she crossed her arms.

“But what a time,” Connie cackled.

Jean snorted at the display between the two. Seeing a couple banter was refreshing. “Are there others like you? Ymir and Historia seem particularly close.”

“Oh yeah, they’ve probably been going out the longest. Don’t know when it started but they’ve been like that since training,” Sasha folded her arms behind her head. “But that’s it for couples. A few one sided affairs that’ll hopefully work out but that’s about it.”

Jean’s eyes widened from surprise a bit. “Wait, really? No one else in Levi Squad?”

Connie and Sasha looked at each other once more, communicating in silence. Connie finally broke the silence. “Like she said, there are some of the one sided affairs we’re waiting to see play out.”

“Why do you ask? Interested in one of them?” Sasha inquired.

Jean chuckled. “No, I don’t know anyone well enough.”

“Don’t have to know someone well enough to be crushing on them,” Connie pointed out. “Or to try and pull the same stunt to kiss him.”

“That was for our survival!” Jean instantly turned red.

“Of course it was,” Sasha teased him.

Connie glanced at the ground for a moment. “The knowing part comes with time and trust. Lots and lots of trust.”

“Guess that answers the age old question about Jean Kirschtein though.”

“What question is that?” Jean narrowed his eyes, setting his finished plate down next to him.

“Whether or not you strictly have eyes for women.”

“And with that I’m out of here!” Jean announced as he followed Marco’s footsteps towards the bedrooms.

“That wasn’t an insult Jean. We all have our preferences!” Sasha called out to him.

“Yup, just like you love a clean shaven man!”

“That was told to you in confidence!” Connie shouted back.

\---

Bright and early the next day, Jean found himself shakened awake. Instinctively he grabbed his attacker by their arm and dragged them down into a headlock.

“What- Jean!” A shocked voice shouted.

Jean’s eyes glanced down at the mop of blond hair resting in his clutches. He quickly let go of his prisoner. “Sorry, wasn’t expecting that.”

Armin coughed before clearing his throat. “It’s alright. We’re getting ready to go.”

Jean nodded as he stretched his arms. His eyes traced Armin’s back as the boy exited the room, coming to rest on his butt. At least one of the poor boys managed to get some new clothes. Hopefully Marco had similar luck. Not that Jean didn’t enjoy the sight of the freckled boy blushing in a dress.

A change of clothes rested on the crate by Jean’s cot. A new brown button-down shirt, dark pants, and civilian shoes were welcomed gifts. Doing as requested, Jean joined the others in front of the warehouse where two horse-drawn carts parked besides Dimo Reeves.

“… and that’s the plan. Any questions?” Dimo asked as Jean quietly stood next to his squad.

“Yeah, why do we have to be in the crates? Can’t we take shifts escorting the drivers?” Ymir complained.

“No. Those that were prisoners are known to the police and only a few of you truly haven’t been seen by the MP guarding the gates. That’s not a risk we can take. You’re going as bodyguards for a shipment to the inner wall so there’s only so many of you that we can pretend are hired help.”

Looking around his fellow teammates, Jean saw Marco standing between two of the others a few feet away. He slowly scooted behind his teammates and tapped Marco on the shoulder. Marco did appear a bit different without a dress.

“What’s going on? I just got here,” Jean whispered.

A tiny smile formed on Marco’s face as he leaned back a little bit and replied in a hushed voice, “The prisoners are going to hide in crates on the cart while you, Armin, Connie, Sasha, and I will escort these carts to an undisclosed location within Wall Sina. Two of us will ride with alongside the drivers and the other three will be on horseback.”

“Seems easy enough. They shouldn’t recognize you or Armin without those shapely dresses,” Jean teased, smirking at Marco’s light blush.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Marco rolled his eyes. “The pants do feel great though.”

A quiet chuckle from Jean drew a side stare from Armin but he didn’t comment on the matter.

After their early morning huddle the four former prisoners climbed into some crates. In Bertl’s case he hunched over into one. The remaining members helped load the crates onto the carts and prepared themselves for the day’s journey ahead. Jean accompanied the driver on the cart with Reiner and Bertl while Armin accompanied the cart with Ymir and Historia. Both boys were handed rifles.

“For protection, in case anything goes wrong,” Dimo explained.

Jean swallowed a lump in his throat. “In case we get caught?”

“Try not to let that happen.”

With those last the words the carts took off in the direction of the gate. Moments later, three sets of horses echoed behind the cart. Jean glanced over his shoulder to see his three friends trailing them, each with pistols holstered to their chests. Hopefully the weapons remained that way.

As they approached the gates, Jean noticed Petra and Oluo on horseback already, along with a black haired baby strapped to Petra’s chest. Several soldiers with the unicorn emblem accompanied the normal Garrison soldiers. Jean’s heart began pounding when they rode closer. Among the soldiers at the gate stood the blond girl that Marco knocked out: Annie.

His grip around his rifle tightened as they rode to the gate.

“State your purpose,” one of the Garrison soldiers recited, his voice tired and dull.

“The usual, shipping supplies to the capital,” Jean’s driver smiled.

The Garrison soldier leaned back to see the second cart as well as the horses trailing them. “Two shipments and extra guards?”

“Yup, boss finally found a noble willing to try Trost-made goods. If this goes well it could make the connections we need to expand our sales. Bringing just about one of everything!”

The Garrison soldier nodded and cracked a tired smile. “Glad to hear. Trost needs some good news. Carry on.”

“Thanks, Don. Have a good day.”

“Hold on!” One of the Military Police interrupted. A black haired kid with an unfortunate bowl cut stepped forward. “We gotta inspect the cargo.”

“Relax, this is Reeves Company. They’re always going in and out trying to help Trost,” Don brushed off.

“Orders are orders, especially with the Survey Corps being hunted.”

“Come on, we gotta make it to the capital before nightfall. We don’t have time for this and besides, there are many others behind us,” the driver pointed with his thumb back to the line starting to form.

“I don’t make the rules, buddy.”

At that moment Annie looked over from her seat, glancing over the cart and the soldiers. She locked eyes with Jean. Calmly, she pushed herself out of her seat and strolled over to the bickering soldiers. 

Jean’s muscles tensed with every step she took, his pounding heart furiously. He didn’t notice at first but his hands trembled. This was it. This would be how Levi Squad perished. Because Jean confronted a girl the night before and she clearly recognized him. He should’ve gone into a crate as well.

“If Captain Ackerman found out you were needlessly harassing merchants and causing a hold up, I’d hate to see what she would do to us. This is _Reeves Company_. Let them pass, Marlo,” Annie advised. She looked back to Jean and the others before returning to her seat.

“Oh, you’re with Reeves? Carry on,” Marlo gestured towards the gate.

The driver tipped his hat as the horses passed through the gate.

The color remained drained from Jean’s face as they trotted along the road north. It wasn’t until Trost faded behind them that his nerves relaxed. As soon as he let out a deep breath, Marco pulled up beside him.

“Jean,” Marco frowned.

“I know, I know,” Jean bit his bottom lip. “She saw me.”

“Then why? Why did she let us pass?” Marco wondered.

“Hell if I know. She knows who I am. She clearly recognized me last night, name and all.”

Marco chewed on the inside of his cheek, unsure of what to make of Annie. “Perhaps she doesn’t know you’re with the Survey Corps.”

“Maybe,” Jean admitted but he knew wishful thinking when he saw it. “If she recognized me then she definitely knows you guys. She knows you’re Survey Corps.”

Marco’s face paled at that notion. “Y-yeah. We might want to pick up the pace in case she decides to report us. I’ll tell Armin.”

Jean turned to his driver while Marco fell back. The horses either kept the man preoccupied or he chose to ignore the conversation between the Survey Corps soldiers because he remained as gleeful as when they left the gates.

“We need to go faster. That girl that let us through knew us. She knew we were Survey Corps soldiers,” Jean ordered.

The man whipped the reigns before stiffening. “What? Shit, I ain’t gonna get caught smuggling you guys.”

Jean’s eyes widened. “Then what the hell are you doing now?!”

“Making sure we reach Ermich so we can go our separate ways. The deal was to get you out of Trost and to the next city.”

“But we need to go to the capital! Aren’t you delivering us to the capital?”

The man shook his head. “It’s called a ruse, boy. We’re delivering to one of the other cities.”

Jean scowled at the driver he was supposed to protect but there was nothing he could do. They needed to get out of Trost and the Reeves Company accomplished that. He wiped a sweaty palm on his pants and looked back. Thankfully the other cart followed their lead and they were making good progress towards Ermich.

\---

While uneventful, the trip kept Jean and the others on edge. Arriving at the gate in Ermich proved to be both relieving and stressful. The gate had a smaller MP presence. All the soldiers didn’t seem to care who came and went, granting the carts access to the city. Everyone remained silent as carts squeaked to an unknown destination.

Unlike Trost, Ermich bustled with business and civilians. No signs of battle or hardship could be seen in the architecture or the faces of the people.

Jean almost envied the carefree nature of the civilians.

“Here we are,” Jean’s driver announced as they pulled into a nondescript warehouse on the edge of town.

While not decrepit or abandoned, the isolated area of the building had Jean’s suspicions raised. The others came to a halt and started unloading the crates.

Jean hopped down but kept the rifle close to his chest. Leaving the others to do the heavy lifting, he cautiously approached the building. He peeked into a window but saw no one inside. There were a few boxes that seemed out of place but no signs of life.

“So where’s the contact?” A driver wondered aloud.

“Dunno, boss said he’d be here,” the other replied as the remaining Survey Corps members emerged from their boxes.

“Now that’s the stuff,” Reiner grunted as he stretched. “That ride could’ve been less bumpy.”

“Quit your bitchin’. You’re alive and free, aren’t ya?” Jean’s driver rolled his eyes.

“You try squeezing into a box half your size and ride from Trost to here. You’d be companioning too.”

A short but high pitched whistle got everyone attention. They turned to see a soldier stepping out of the shadows wearing a green cloak. Emblazoned on the back was the Garrison symbol.

“Glad to see you all made it safe and sound,” a gruff voice greeted them. The soldier lowered his hood to reveal a man with short hair that flowed into a point above the back of his head.

While Jean had no idea who this man was, Marco and the other’s face lit up immediately. Connie ran forward to hug the man.

“Gunther!” Connie smiled. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

“Springer!” The man laughed heartily as he patted Connie’s head. “Still haven’t tried to copy my point yet?”

Gunther gingerly brushed a hand though his hair.

“Tried and failed, sir.”

“It’s not for everyone,” Gunther shrugged. As jovial as he seemed, he soon became much more serious. “We can catch up once we reach our destination. I know you just arrived but we must leave now.”

“But why?” Connie asked.

“We heard rumors that more of the Military Police iare moving south. Better to leave before their numbers increase so we can reach our contact safely.”

“About that. Where are we going?” Marco finally spoke up.

Gunther smiled once more at Marco. “Glad to see you’re still as to the point as ever, Bodt. That information is on a need to know basis though so you’ll have to wait. Needless to say we still have quite the journey ahead of us. You’ll find some supplies and more cloaks like this one in the warehouse. Dress up and we’ll be on our way.”

Nodding along, the group did as they were told. Jean emerged first from the warehouse to find one of the carts gone but a few new horses in the shade of a nearby tree. He walked over to the horses and gazed around for a minute until he found himself drawn to one in particular. When he approached, it instantly took notice and faced him. Carefully, Jean stuck out a hand. When the horse didn’t bite, Jean brushed the back of his hand against it.

“Oh you found, Jaeger,” Armin said, spooking Jean.

“Wait, this is Jaeger?” Jean stared at the horse who shook its head at the mention of the name. “You’re my horse.”

“Yup,” Armin confirmed. “I was wondering if you forgot about him too.”

Jean’s face glowed upon recognizing his horse. “I did. But I can’t forget the horse that got me through so much trouble. I don’t remember all of it but I feel close to Jaeger.”

“We have a horse named after Eren?” Gunther asked from atop another horse.

“Jean does.”

“Jean? Wait, is this _that_ Jean?” Gunther narrowed his eyes.

“If you’re insinuating what I think you are, then yes,” Armin confirmed, much to Jean’s chagrin.

“What does that even mean? Oluo and Petra said the same thing,” Jean glowered.

“Oh, nothing in particular. Erwin met with us a few weeks ago and explained your story to us. Hero of Utgard and all,” Gunther shrugged.

“He has amnesia right now,” Armin informed the former Levi squad member.

“He does? Shit, how?”

“Rod Reiss. It’s an ability of the true royal family to manipulate memories.”

“That’s a dangerous ability,” Gunther frowned.

The others began to emerge from the warehouse in time to see Jean’s scowl deepen.

“No shit,” Jean spat back. Even the mention of the man’s name was enough to rile him.

Gunther glanced at Jean before turning his attention to his new squad.

“We have enough horses for all but three. Bertl will drive the cart with Reiner and Ymir in the back. If things get hairy, transform and get to safety while the rest of us ride away. Staying alive is the most important thing. Now let’s move. We need to get to Orvud before dusk.”

“But sir, isn’t that passed the capital? Aren’t we going to rescue the commander?” Connie asked, tilting his head a bit.

“That’s the end goal but we need to stick to Erwin’s plan first. Everyone has a role to play but it involves meeting up with our contact tonight.”

With those last words, everyone did as ordered. They rode for the gate under the guise of Garrison soldiers. With hoods drawn over their heads, they made it past without question. Rather than stick along the main road, Gunther lead the group west and towards the woods. The trees offered shade and protection from the heat, yet it left Jean feeling nervous. Ancient, tall trees left him feeling nauseated instead of safe.

Unlike the others who became talkative, Jean kept his lips sealed and his eyes sharp. Too many times had the calm before the storm been the undoing of his friends and squadmates. At least that’s what his gut told him. And he managed to stay focused until gaze wandered towards the pair of horses ahead of him. Marco and Armin exchanged words yet neither seemed happy about it. Jean couldn’t hear the boys over the racket of the cart but his blood ran cold when the boys looked back and caught him staring.

Jean offered a tiny wave back, earning surprised expressions from the pair. The two looked at Jean, then to each other, and then back to Jean. Armin shrugged and slowed his horse to join Jean. Marco sighed before copying the action.

“Hey, Jean,” Armin greeted, trotting alongside Jean and Jaeger.

“What were you talking about?” Jean skipped the pleasantries as Marco rode on his other side.

“You,” Armin answered succinctly.

“No shit. I saw the way you guys looked back at me,” Jean rolled his eyes, his words sounding more venomous than he intended.

Armin flinched but carried on. “Well, we’re-”

“If you wanna admire me, I’d prefer you do it within earshot,” Jean smirked. He knew it wasn’t the best save but it’d leaven the mood.

“I… uh… what?” Armin short circuited for a moment. “Huh?”

“Like I said, I saw the way you were looking at me,” Jean chuckled. “I’ll admit asking my nurse is a smart tactic since he’d knows a fair deal on me.”

Armin’s pale face tinged red at the accusation.

“Wow, I don’t see him speechless that often,” Marco commented. Inwardly he felt relieved Jean chose to pick on someone else.

“I hope you only told him good things,” Jean continued, earning a groan from Armin.

“Eh,” Marco shrugged, “If I did that it’d be a thirty second conversation.”

Jean gave Marco a dull stare. “Please, I’m full of courage and self-sacrifice.”

“And hot air,” Marco added.

Jean’s shoulders fell with that remark.

“Didn’t you call me the Hero of Utgard like an hour ago? You don’t get that title by being terrible.”

“True, though I have seen you get your ass handed to you many times and heroes don’t get beaten.”

“You know what, fuck you,” Jean shook his head. Connie was right, Marco could hold his own against Jean.

“In your dreams,” Marco confidently laughed. Jean opened his mouth for a retort but none came. “And Jean speechless is another rare sight.”

“Did I just get beaten by a nurse?” Jean spoke aloud, to himself mostly.

“I’m also on Levi Squad,” Marco reminded him through grit teeth.

“So’s Historia,” Jean chided back as he rubbed his chin.

“Hey!” Marco squawked.

“If you two are done, I’d like to use what time we have to get Jean back up to speed. He knows sporadic things but that could easily get us or him killed if he forgets the wrong thing at the wrong time,” Armin interrupted the good natured quarrel. “That’s why we were talking about you.”

Marco’s eyes fell to the ground along with his smile.

Jean pressed his lips together, but nodded anyways. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“Where to begin?” Armin wondered.

“Start at the beginning. Back in training camp,” Jean requested.

“Okay, but heads up: you were a bit of a dick back then”

“What do you mean were? He still is,” Marco rolled his eyes.

Jean glared at his nurse. Despite the clear insult, he noticed the coy smile that crossed Marco’s face upon seeing his reaction. He wasn’t the only one who liked pressing people’s buttons.

\---

Their travels took them through another city and back out to Wall Rose territory. It wasn’t until sunset that Gunther finally made an announcement.

“We’ll be at our contact’s residence. Remember to have some courtesy and don’t do anything stupid,” Gunther informed them.

As they grew closer, one particular member of Levi Squad grew restless.

“No way,” Historia mumbled as they approached a rather large house.

“What is it?” Ymir inquired, equal parts amused and confused by her girlfriend’s reaction.

As they approached the gates of the house, there was already someone waiting by them.

“Please, come in. Quickly!” they spoke.

The horses and the carts pulled in as requested. Historia on the other hand practically bounced from joy on the cart.

“What’s gotten into you?” Ymir asked again.

“I can’t believe it. It’s been so long!” Historia smiled widely.

As they pulled up to the house, Jean noticed there were multiple horses tied up already. He looked around more and saw multiple young faces peering out the windows of the house. On the porch he saw a brown haired woman waiting expectantly.

When the woman caught sight of the cart, she lit up. She ran from the porch towards the cart.

“Historia! You made it!” she shouted.

“Freida!” Historia jumped down into the arms of the tall lady. They hugged for a long while as everyone tied up the horses and dismounted. “We have so much to catch up on.”

“Indeed! But come in. Dinner will be ready in a bit. We were waiting for you all.” Freida explained.

“We?” Historia quirked an eyebrow.

“Yes, ‘we’,” a cool voice spoke from the porch. A black haired woman emerged from the shadows.

Jean and Marco stared wide-eyed at the woman as she walked forward, the blood draining from their faces. While only meeting briefly they recognized her from their troubles the day before. She was the short woman that carried a powerful presence from the previous morning.

Historia looked at the woman but she drew a blank.

“Who are you?” she inquired.

The pale woman offered a friendly smile before replying, “Captain Kuchel Ackerman of the Military Police. And I’m here to fulfill a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey it's been a while and might be a little while again. Work and the holidays are time sinks.
> 
> Anyways I hope people caught some of the little details in this chapter as well Jean. Everything is written in this chapter is written on purpose, including Jean's attitude and adjectives scattered here and there. Jean's memory is tricky to nail down but his line earlier makes sense about him knowing of people but not necessarily how they look or how to interact with them. And Jean's current attitude is also a reflection of how I think he'd act if Marco's death didn't shape his personality so harshly. I also think this is how he'd act without any inhibitions towards others. Please let me know what you guys think!
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, reblogs, likes, and messages on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22) are appreciated and treasured!


	13. Kuchel Ackerman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuchel Ackerman demonstrates that she's not a woman to be trifled with while Jean learns that Marco and Armin didn't tell him the whole truth.

“Kuchel Ackerman?” Historia echoed back at the short lady, confused by the name. “Are you related to Mikasa?”

Jean’s body froze as Kuchel approached the group. His throat clenched, preventing any warning he could give his friends. Despite only meeting her once, her presence spoke more about her than the cold-blooded actions Jean experienced.

“Mikasa Ackerman? No, I’m not. Although I did want to meet her. Shame she ran off into the wild and got herself eaten,” Kuchel shrugged. She strolled over to Historia and Frieda, still smiling. “As much as I’d love to talk out her until the sun sets behind Wall Sina, I’d much prefer we dine. You’ve had a long trip and Frieda has been preparing for your arrival all day.”

At the mention of her name, Frieda’s arms tightened around Historia. She spoke but there was no warmth in her voice, “Yes, let’s.”

Kuchel pulled a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she gazed over the remainder of Levi Squad. Silently she turned back for the house with Frieda following.

The squad exchanged wary glances. A few female soldiers emerged from the bushes with guns drawn.

“You heard the captain, let’s eat,” a tall blonde woman gestured with her gun to the house.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Marco stepped forward. The others reluctantly did the same.

Despite the modest appearance of the house from the outside, it was anything but. Intricate wallpaper wrapped around the entryway as dark stone lined the floor. Two paths lead from the entryway to other parts of the house, with Kuchel choosing to go right into a formal dining area. While the long wooden table was impressive in its own right, the decorations that surrounded the room captured everyone attention. Trinkets, paintings, and sculptures of high quality gave an unfamiliar air of luxury.

Different pieces drew different eyes. A picture of land meeting water captured Armin’s attention while a picture of a man facing a fallen titan caught Jean’s. Even with all the rare beauty around them, Sasha remained focused on the food at the table.

“That smells delicious,” she commented, licking her lips.

“Yes it does,” Kuchel agreed, taking a seat by the end of a table. “You’ve been traveling all day and I imagine you’re starving. There’s no time like the present.”

With as much dignity and patience as Jean had come to expect of her, Sasha waited for no one before ripping the leg off a cooked bird. Kuchel’s eyes widened for a moment as the others slowly took their seats. The other female soldiers were momentarily stunned but quickly sat down after Kuchel cleared her throat.

Frieda took her seat at the head of the table, taking a brief moment to look over her guests. She looked at Kuchel before speaking, “What about our other guests? Will they be joining us?”

Kuchel went wide-eyed before snapping her fingers, “Ah, right! How forgetful of me? Traute, please go fetch my son. If he puts up a fight tell him we have our guests. And bring that other boy as well. The silent one with that beard that you can’t seem to take your eyes off of.”

The blonde woman from before flushed for a moment, “Yes, ma’am.”

As Traute ran off, Kuchel offered a coy smile. “She’s so obvious it’s painful.”

“Yup. I know the feeling,” Sasha agreed, her mouth full of food. She looked Marco in the eyes, chewing loudly.

“Honey, there’s plenty of food so please slow down. Didn’t your parents teach you any manners back at Dauper?”

“Manners?” Sasha swallowed a mouthful at once.

Connie groaned at the awful display. He stopped when one of the smaller brown haired soldiers stared at him.

Jean wanted to laugh as the icy atmosphere slowly defrosted, but he remained silent.

“I’m sure you’ll find out what they are one day. Assuming someone ever teaches you them,” Kuchel chuckled.

“Not for lack of trying,” Connie remarked.

The friendly conversation abruptly stopped when Traute returned with two men following her. The taller man immediately caught everyone’s attention but before any comments could be exchanged a smaller man emerged from behind the taller one.

Levi glowered at the room before him.

“Eld?! Captain?!” Marco finally spoke, standing up.

“Sit down, it’s rude,” Kuchel rolled her eyes.

Marco swiftly returned to his seat as Levi and Eld found spots near Kuchel.

“Glad to see you’re all alive,” Levi frowned.

“Same for you,” Marco replied.

“Like he was ever in any danger,” Kuchel shook her head. “He’s called _Humanity’s Strongest_ for a reason.”

Traute did a once over of Eld on her way back to her seat.

“Now that everyone is here, let’s eat,” Frieda announced as more plates of food were brought in by servants. A variety of delicacies circled the tables as the soldiers sampled the rare meats and vegetables. Despite the uncomfortable nature of the encounter, everyone set aside their grievances momentarily to enjoy the savory meal.

“I must say,” Kuchel said after polishing off her plate, “the food in the underground doesn’t compare to this.”

“I’m just glad to have something other than bread,” Traute shrugged.

“You guys too? I agree,” Reiner nodded.

“The food is shit, no matter what branch you’re in or how high up you are,” Levi wrinkled his nose thinking about it.

“Levi, language!” Kuchel chastised, causing the smaller man to sink in his chair a bit. “But you’re right. It’s all so stale. Sometimes I wish we were nobles so we could eat like this every day.”

“Even we don’t eat like this every meal. This happens to be a special occasion,” Frieda informed Kuchel.

The mention of that sparked a moment realization in Kuchel.

“That reminds me, this is a special occasion. Tonight is a night of reunions! Your sister has returned after so many years apart at training and I’ve finally found my son. A fantastic evening for everyone here.”

Marco and Jean exchanged glances before looking at Levi and Eld. The black haired woman stared lovingly at Levi.

“Quite,” Frieda smiled at Historia.

Historia returned the warm smile while Ymir stared suspiciously at Kuchel.

“Why are you here?” Ymir dispensed with the pleasantries.

Kuchel’s grin remained despite the venomous question. “You mean besides enjoying this momentous occasion? I already told you, I’m fulfilling a deal.”

“You’ve said your name but you haven’t said _who_ you are. You’re MP.”

“Very smart. I’d expect nothing less of the urchin Nick raised.”

Frieda’s eyes widened. “She’s the one?”

“Precisely.”

“She’s the what?” Historia jumped into the conversation.

“She’s the deal. Well, a small part of it,” Kuchel explained, grabbing an empty glass in front of her. She beckoned a servant over. “Wine, please.”

The nervous man nodded, shuffling back into the kitchen.

“Frieda, what’s she saying?” Historia demanded to know.

“That girl-”

“Ymir.” Historia informed her.

“Ymir is going with Kuchel.”

“Like hell she is!”

“Like hell I am,” Ymir glared at Kuchel.

“Language, kids,” Kuchel warned. The servant returned with an unopened bottle and began uncorking it.

“I’m sorry, Historia,” Frieda stared solemnly at her plate. “But that is the price for you guys making it and staying here.”

“Well, it’s one of many prices the Reiss’ and the Survey Corps are paying,” Kuchel informed the room. Her smiled grew more devious as she stared everyone at individually while wine poured into her glass.

“Price?” Ymir narrowed her eyes.

“Yes, let me explain the situation you’re in. Your military branch failed a coup, kidnapped the rightful king of humanity, captured four of my prisoners while executing at least two of my men, and tried to escape my custody. But you knew that,” Kuchel sipped on her glass. “What you didn’t know is that _I_ let you escape Trost. _I_ let you take your scenic tour through Wall Sina and Rose. _I_ let live once you arrived here tonight. _I_ did all of that.”

“Then why did you let us live?” Jean broke his silence, catching the attention of his teammates the brown haired soldier.

“Good question. But the answer is simple really: I got my son back. This whole arrangement between the Military Police, the Church, and the Reiss family all stems from parents wanting their children back. A fact my son caught onto very quickly when he proposed this deal. Rod gets his daughter delivered back to her home, I get my son to tag along with me, and I take Nick’s daughter back to him. All in exchange for letting this little group of traitors live. Seems like a fair deal to me.”

“And if I don’t go with you?” Ymir frowned.

“Then you watch your entire squad get slaughtered over dinner and I take you anyways,” Kuchel shrugged.

Historia stared at her sister. “Frieda, you can’t let her!”

“I don’t want to but we have no choice,” Frieda sighed.

“No choice? But we’re-”

“I don’t care who you are. I answer to no one,” Kuchel shrugged.

“Frieda, dad tried to kidnap us and wipe our minds!” Historia pleaded.

“I’m aware! But we don’t have a choice when _these people_ show up!”

“We’re in the room you know,” the brown haired soldier shook her head, still finishing her leftovers.

“And just who are guys really?” Ymir crossed her arms.

“The Military’s elite squad. The ones who clean up the messes so things don’t get out of hand. We’re the Levi Squad of the MP. And she’s the head of it, so if she makes a call we listen.”

“Hitch, watch your mouth. That’d be an unfair comparison since we’re not nearly as colorful as this bunch,” Kuchel chuckled. “We’re dining amongst an eclectic group of soldiers. We don’t have a princess among our ranks, for instance. Nor do we have her titan shifting girlfriend, raised by the Church as a false goddess. A pair of star-crossed lovers if I ever saw one.”

Frieda bit her lip, glancing at Ymir once more.

“Whoopie shit, my dad told you my history,” Ymir rolled her eyes. “Quit trying to threaten us.”

“Oh he didn’t tell us anything, I’ve just done my homework on all of you.” Kuchel stated, lowering her glass as she surveyed the soldiers. Her motherly gaze fell on the other titan shifter of the group. “For example, Reiner Braun, descendent of the protectors of the royal family who didn’t want the job. Or Bertholdt Hoover, last known survivor of his village after the Beast titan’s recent attack. It must be hard knowing your mom is a titan though.”

Bertl trembled as Kuchel spouted that fact. Reiner cast a worried glance at his best friend.

“Leave his family out of this,” Reiner spoke through grit teeth. “And you don’t know anything about me.”

“But family is what binds us all together this evening,” Kuchel stated, her eyes drifting to Levi. “Not all of us are as fortunate to have a sprawling family like Marco Bodt. Jinae is practically overflowing with Bodts, but you’re the first to make such a name for yourself as a titan slayer and respected member of the Survey Corps. Not that there’s any respect left for the Survey Corps after this treachery. Most of us are unlucky like Sasha Braus over there, another victim of the Beast titan’s attack but at least her father survived. And he’s human.”

Jean glanced at Marco and Sasha as both their faces paled.

“Mama…” Sasha mumbled, tears forming on the edges of her eyes.

“Shhh it’s okay,” Connie placed a hand over Sasha’s shaking one.

Hitch frowned at the display in front of her.

“Nothing is ever okay behind these walls, you should know that Connie. If I recall correctly you’re another lone survivor with a bit of a reckless track record in training. A bit hard to find anything else but you still come in third compared to your other two friends,” Kuchel gestured her glass between Armin and Jean. “Armin Arlert, one of the few survivors of Shinganshina supposedly. Not many people made it out of the city alive thanks to Colossal and Armored titans. Utter devastation. Not that there’s enough people to verify it happened.”

Armin’s eyes were downcast. He took a deep breath, trying to repress the thoughts. “It happened.”

“Maybe. Your story is a mysterious one, but it isn’t nearly as intriguing as your friend over there. Jean Kirschtein if I’m pronouncing that right. Born goddess knows where but unlike the others, there wasn’t much to go on for you since you kinda disappeared between Trost and now. One moment you’re a trainee, the next you’re the Hero of Utgard. Quite a leap.”

“So I’m told,” Jean frowned. He glared daggers at Kuchel but she seemed unfazed.

“You’d have to be told after Rod messed with your noggin a bit. Such a shame too because there’s so many questions I wanted to ask you. I’m still very curious what Rod saw in your head that left him so scared. I might be too if a dead guy appeared out of the blue.”

Attention shifted to Jean upon that comment.

“Excuse me?” Jean tilted his head.

Armin and Marco paled, exchanging panicked looks.

“You wouldn’t know but records indicate you died in Trost. Your body was identified by one Marco Bodt,” Kuchel recited from memory, causing Jean to glance at his friend. “And then several years later you come riding out of the woods in titan territory claiming to be from another world. It’s a travesty that Rod took your memories because there’s so many things I wanted to know about our counterparts.”

“Are you kidding me? That’s such an idiotic thing to say,” Jean scoffed, looking to either Armin or Marco for assurance. When he saw their concerned looks, his stomach twisted. “Guys, she’s being ridiculous. Right?”

“Oh I wish, but everything Levi spoke to me confirms what Rod said. It must be troubling to know that you’ll never remember the place where you actually came from,” Kuchel frowned, appearing genuinely disappointed. “Not knowing what you left behind, who you left behind. I can only imagine how your mother must feel.”

“But I’m Jean Kirschtein of Trost. Member of the Survey Corps and Hero of Utgard,” Jean’s voice trailed as chills crept down his spine.

“Some of that is right, at least from what I could squeeze out of Shadis and your files. Also a purveyor of Ackermans. Or at least Mikasa,” Kuchel chuckled at the end. She glanced at the two boys next to him before continuing. “I’m guessing you didn’t know that though. Whoops.”

Silence hung over the dinner table as Jean stared at his empty plate, gripping his hand around the nearest object.

“Armin, Marco, why you didn’t mention _any_ of this on the way here?” Jean mumbled, squeezing his hand around his knife.

“We did mention the part about Mikasa,” Marco’s weak voice joked. His fragile smile shattered when Jean glared at him.

“Don’t you _dare_ joke about this,” Jean seethed. His knuckles grew as white as Marco’s face the more he clenched his fist. “What do you mean I died here and I’m from another world? How could you neglect to tell me that?”

Marco’s mouth opened but only a strangled noise came out.

“Because we thought you weren’t ready,” Armin supplied in Marco’s stead. “We didn’t think it was important enough to tell you when we’re facing life and death.”

“Not important? Shit like that is pretty fucking important!” Jean’s voice began to rise. “Did anything you tell me really happen? There’s _years_ between Trost and Utgard. Were those adventures you told me about lies?”

“Jean, I-” Marco tried to explain himself.

“Don’t you Jean me. Answer the question, Bodt. Or Arlert.”

“Yes, they were,” Armin answered. He kept his eyes locked on his plate, his fork pushing some scraps around. “They were snippets of what we imagined happened or based off stories you told us about your world.”

“They’re bogus. So everything you guys told me were lies.”

“Not everything!” Marco quickly spoke. “We didn’t-”

“Didn’t think I deserved to know? I fucking risked my life for you! And this is how you repay me?” Jean threw the knife into the floor, successfully sticking the point into the wood. “Was I even a member of the Survey Corps? Or your guys’ friend? I don’t know who the fuck I am and you took advantage of that!”

“Technically you were never Survey Corps in this world. That much I can verify,” Kuchel shrugged. “Oh and that horse came with you. Couldn’t find any records on him either but I just assumed that was because he’s a horse.”

“Don’t you start,” Jean glowered at her. “I’ve had enough of people jerking me around today.”

“What? I’ve done nothing but tell you the truth, which is more than these so-called friends have done,” Kuchel finished her wine. “More, please.”

“Wait,” Jean’s anger paused for a moment. He glanced at his comrades. “Is that why you guys have been looking at me weird? Looking at me like I’m some sort of freak?”

“Never!” Marco tried to lay a hand on Jean’s shoulder, but he flinched away from his touch.

“Don’t you dare lie to me again, Bodt!” Jean growled.

“To be fair, you’re a freak from another world. You could always join the rest of us freaks,” Kuchel offered as she sipped more of her wine. “My MP group is full of Humanity’s strongest, forgotten, and most powerful. You fit that description pretty well.”

“You can take that offer and shove it,” Jean spat, standing up from his chair. “Rod Reiss admitted to my face what he did so there’s no chance I’d join the assholes who did this to me.”

“Watch your tongue,” Traute warned Jean.

“Screw you, I’m out of here,” Jean declared as he began moving towards the door. “I’m taking Jaeger and leaving.”

“Get back here you insolent boy!” Traute shouted. “That wasn’t part of the deal!”

“Fuck off, Trout!” Jean snidely remarked.

“Please watch your language, Jean,” Kuchel wore a bemused smile. “Let him go, Trout.”

Traute’s face fell. “Yes, ma’am. But please don’t call me that.”

“Too late. I like it so I’m keeping it.”

Traute groaned loudly at the decision.

Jean made it three steps before a fork flew in front of his face. He looked to his right to see Hitch standing.

“No one disrespects the captain and then walks away. Especially if they plan on stealing our property,” Hitch spoke.

Connie quirked an eyebrow at the display, glancing between her, Jean, and Sasha.

“Your property? That’s my horse,” Jean scowled.

“You all surrendered whatever supplies you acquired when you came here. Another term of the agreement.”

“Yeah, no. That horse is quite possibly the only thing I have from my _real_ home.”

“He’s ours now.” Hitch and Jean locked eyes for a few tense moments before Jean eventually broke away, continuing towards the door. Not one to take being ignored well, Hitch positioned herself between Jean and the exit. “I said-”

“I don’t care,” Jean interrupted. “Now if you don’t get out of my way, I’ll end you.”

Hitch gave Jean a dull look. “You end me? Please, you can’t fight for-”

Jean swiftly grabbed Hitch’s head and smashed it into his knee before shoving her to the floor. She shrieked from pain as Jean looked back at the table of stunned soldiers.

“Anyone else?” Jean glared between the MP and Survey Corps members.

Even Levi gave a relatively surprised stare. Jean never displayed that sort of agility before.

“He surprised Hitch?” One of the other girls mumbled.

“Like I said, my offer still stands if you care to join. But carry on, none of us will bug you on wherever you plan on going. I’ll make sure of it,” Kuchel swirled her glass. She took a sip before continuing. “I trust your horse is where you left it. Enjoy yourself.”

With that, Jean stepped over Hitch and left the room. Hitch continued rolling on the floor in pain.

Bright hues of orange and pink decorated the horizon as Jean stomped over to his horse. Jaeger noticed Jean and shook his mane as he approached.

“Come on, boy. Let’s get out of here,” Jean mumbled as he untied his only trusted friend. He mounted the horse and whipped the reigns, wanting to get as far away from that house as possible.

\---

One of the many problems amnesia combined with heated impulsiveness created was the lack of any destination or possible place Jean could go. Jean rode Jaeger in one direction, then another, and then off the road. Backtracking was the least of his fears at the moment. At the first sign of some different landmark, Jean guided his horse towards it. In this case it was a lake underneath the evening sky.

Jaeger trotted up to the lake’s edge, leaving Jean just enough space to dismount. The horse started drinking the water while Jean walked away from the shore until he found dry ground. With a deep breath, he laid on his back and stared upwards.

Stars shimmered high above Jean and Jaeger, dusting the dark sky with specs of lights. This sky was unlike any that Trost ever produced, often clouded by buildings and trees. Out in the country nothing clouded the beauty. While Jean had few memories, the emotions this sky stirred inside him soothed him. It helped him find some semblance of peace and cool his head. At least it did for the time Jean had to himself.

He didn’t know how much time had transpired when he laid down, but the familiar sounds of people speaking cut into his silence. Anger bubbled again in his chest as the voices got closer. However, he soon realized it was just one person speaking, someone Jean didn’t recognize. He sat up to survey the lake for the signs of life until he saw it approaching him. A torch carried by a smaller boy made them difficult to miss. Jean’s eyes could make out someone in a cloak hobbling alongside the boy. The closer they drew, the more details Jean could make out.

The boy wasn’t nearly as young as Jean thought, perhaps around the age he became a trainee. The cloaked figure managed to keep his features hidden but the crutch under his left arm indicated the source of his limping.

“See! There he is,” the boy proudly declared when he saw Jean.

Jean clenched a fistful of grass as they walked in his direction. Did he know them? Why did they want him?

“So he is,” the other person confirmed, sounding a lot younger than Jean anticipated. He half expected an old man between the mysterious cloak and the crutch.

“What do you want?” Jean squinted at the two. “I thought I made it pretty clear I wanted to be alone.”

“Is that why the mean lady was bleeding all over the floor? I’m going to have to clean that tomorrow…” the younger of the two groaned.

Jean let his guard down upon hearing those words. “Are you servants of the Reiss family?”

The boy nodded. “Yup, I am although-”

“I am too,” the other interrupted.

“Then why are you out here? I rode away from the house an hour ago,” Jean crossed his arms.

Some stifled laughter from the smaller boy had Jean glaring. “An hour ago? The house is a five minute walk that way,” the kid gestured behind him.

Jean’s mouth opened but no sounds came out. He prayed the darkness covered the embarrassed flush he felt on his face. “Well, we rode for a while.”

“Clearly,” the older boy quipped.

Jean narrowed his eyes on the pair again. “What do you want?”

“You’re the Hero of Utgard, right?” the smaller boy wondered.

Shrugging his shoulder, Jean looked back at the lake. That was at least an undisputable fact. “Maybe. What about it?”

“So you’re the one from outside the walls too?”

“So I’m told.” Jean frowned. “And how would you know that?”

“Gabi told me.”

Jean quirked an eyebrow.

“Who?”

“Gabi,” the boy smiled. When Jean retained the same puzzled look he elaborated more. “Reiner’s cousin. He writes to her and tells her all sorts of cool things.”

“Uh-huh. And who are you?”

“I’m Falco. And he’s Kruger!” Falco gestured to the older boy.

“Well you already know me,” Jean joked, looking back at his horse. “That’s Jaeger, my noble steed.”

Jaeger whinnied at the mention of his name.

Falco smiled while Kruger lowered his hood, revealing long brown hair and scruffy facial hair. He almost looked Jean’s age.

“Is he from outside the walls too?” Falco wondered, daring to get closer.

“I think so. Unfortunately thanks to your master I don’t remember much,” Jean admitted.

Falco’s excitement died when Jean let out that piece of information. Kruger’s face also fell.

“Really?” Kruger sighed. “What do you remember?”

Jean glanced back up to the sky. “Nothing really. I have feelings with no memories to tie them too. I do have the urge to kick Rod Reiss’ ass but that’s because he told me he did it to my face.”

“I see,” Kruger spoke, hobbling closer to Falco. “What’re you going to do?”

“What do you mean what am I going to do? I’m going to take Jaeger and get out of here.”

Falco peered over to Jaeger and then back to Kruger.

“You’re going to run away?” Kruger snorted. “That’s very hero-like.”

That sarcastic tone struck a chord in Jean. He felt his temper rise once more before lashing out, “And what’s that supposed to mean?!”

“It means exactly what you think. You’re grabbing a horse and abandoning your squad.”

“They aren’t my squad.”

“Aren’t they? Haven’t you fought beside them since you arrived? Eaten, trained, and slept with them?” Kruger gave a crooked grin.

“Well, supposedly. I don’t know,” Jean chewed on his cheek as he mulled it over.

“Then that’s a squad. Just because you don’t remember doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Do they remember you?”

“Yes. I mean… I guess. For all I know they could be lying to me.”

“I’m sure you could tell if they were lying. There’s a difference between being treated like a stranger, a friend, or a foe.”

The urge to dismiss what Kruger said arose in Jean, but he found that he had no reply to that point.

“You’re not wrong.”

“Of course not. Besides, you’re also missing an obvious solution to your problem,” Kruger’s smile widened. “You’re on the Reiss’ property. Wouldn’t one of Rod’s kids have the same powers? Just undo it.”

That last point drowned Jean’s anger in a wave of sadness. “I can’t.”

Kruger’s cocky smile disappeared at Jean’s words. “What? Why not?”

“He said once they were gone there’s no getting them back,” Jean informed him.

Kruger’s worried expression was replaced by a dull stare. “And you believed him? You believed the guy who stole your memories? Even you can’t be that dumb.”

Jean glared at the kid. “Don’t make me kick your ass. Of course I believed him.”

“Try it and I’ll beat you with this stick,” Kruger threatened. Before Jean could offer a retort, Kruger continued, “Ask one of the kids to see if it’s possible to fix. Maybe you can get back what’s lost. They aren’t exactly happy with their father, especially after Frieda learned what her dad tried to do with Historia.”

“Would they really help us?” Jean thought aloud.

“Oh yeah,” Falco rejoined the conversation. “Miss Frieda has been planning this for quite a while. She just had to get through that dinner tonight.”

“But she was just held hostage. And they got Ymir and I think they were planning on taking the supplies we brought.”

“Took. They left a while ago,” Kruger shook his head. “Everything is relative, Kirschtein.”

“What does that mean?”

“There’s plenty of supplies scattered around these lands. This coup has been in the works for quite a while. Even us servants know about it. Overthrowing a government takes time.”

Jean pushed himself out of the grass, dusting the soil and dead leaves off himself.

“Where are you going?” Falco inquired once Jean moved towards Jaeger.

“Back to the house. I got a government to help overthrow,” Jean gave a cocky smirk.

Falco grinned while Kruger puffed his chest out a bit.

“That’s more like it. Kick some ass, Mr. Hero,” Kruger crossed his arms.

“Thank you both,” Jean replied as he climbed Jaeger.

With a final wave, he spurred his horse back to the Reiss household. And much to his chagrin it was a short ride back in the direction Falco pointed.

\---

Like expected, Jean found no horses or carts full of supplies in the front. Rather than mull over what likely transpired after he left, he hitched Jaeger to a wooden post and walked inside. A quiet sob and some sniffling echoed to his left along with the murmurs of a conversation. Suppressing the guilt starting to seep into his chest, Jean followed the sounds.

In a giant living room full of wooden chairs and sofas he found the remainder of Levi squad, Eld, Gunther, and Frieda Reiss speaking while a fireplace crackled. The only people he didn’t see were Sasha and Connie. With one creaky step into the room, the conversation ceased and all eyes fell on him, freezing him in place.

A loud sniffle from Historia broke the silence and the paralysis on Jean. Her tear streaked face rattled Jean’s senses, “Hey.”

“You’re back,” Eld spoke. “We thought you ran off.”

“I did. Just needed to cool off.”

Jean walked to an empty chair and popped a squat. He glanced nervously around the numerous eyes still staring at him, judging him. He couldn’t read the thoughts associated with them but he assumed the worst. Traitor, coward, selfish. Another sniffle snapped Jean away from the other eyes. Sad, brown eyes met his for only a moment. There were the pair that should’ve judged him the most.

“Glad to have you back. You’re skill is a great asset,” Eld stated, quickly earning an annoyed look from Jean.

“What he means is that you’re needed,” Frieda finally spoke. “We don’t want you for your skill. We want you because you’re a part of Levi squad. I assume that has something to do with your return.”

Jean nodded. “That and the possibility of getting my memories back.”

Frieda’s neutral expression faded to a grimace. “About that. Your friends informed me about what happened, and what my father did. I wish to apologize for what he did and to try and undo that but…”

“It’s impossible like he said?” Jean’s voice fell, disappointment evident in his tone.

Through teary eyes, Marco stared at Jean, wringing his hands together.

“Not exactly,” Frieda corrected. “Memories can’t be erased, per say. They can be taken out of reach but their essence always remains. And they can be put back into place.”

Jean’s face lit up. “Wait, what does that mean?”

With a loud creak, Frieda pushed herself out of her chair and moved closer to Jean.

“You can still feel what those memories left you. It’s how you know something happened even without knowing what exactly happened.” 

“Yeah, my head feels like a giant hole that I can’t fill with anything,” Jean’s eyes fell to the ground.

Marco shifted in his seat, wanting to get up but unable to bring himself to do so. A hand on his shoulder from Armin kept him in his place though.

“That’s usually what I hear. Well, your memories are still in your head like a cloud over your mind. You can feel them but if you try to grasp them they slip out of reach,” Frieda looked at her hand. “With help, someone can bring them back down within reach.”

“Then do it,” Jean all but demanded.

“But what?” Armin interrupted, ignoring the cold look from Jean. “You said but earlier.”

“I did and I’m quite capable of returning your memories, but I can’t do it that easily,” Frieda clarified.

“And why not? Your dad yanked them out pretty easily,” Jean grumbled.

Frieda looked down on Jean, shaking her head. “That’s precisely why. Memories are delicate things and they have a certain order and rhythm to them. If I brought them all back down to you without getting it right your system could be overloaded. Frankly I’m surprised you weren’t mentally fried when my dad did what he did. I’d have to put them back in the right order over an extended period of time.”

“Which we don’t have right now,” Jean hung his head low.

“Correct. And I also don’t know how your memories should go. Childhood is pretty easy since thoughts go from simple to complicated gradually, but once I reach your formative years it becomes exponentially harder without knowing what explicitly happened and when. There’s some room for error but I can’t get almost twenty years of memories within that margin.”

“I see. So I’m stuck.”

“Will you quit jumping to conclusions?” Eld shook his head, earning a surprised sound from Jean. “We spoke about this after you left because we’d prefer to have you at full capacity for this mission. She just needs a roadmap of your memories and she can undo the damage. She just needs someone close to you who was there for parts of it.”

“But we don’t have a roadmap. I’m not from here.”

“Bullshit,” Sasha said, emerging from the doorway with an arm around Connie and out of breath. “We heard your stories, or at least enough of them to know we had the same training, the same experiences, and so on. Any one of us could help piece your head back together. Miss Reiss just needs to poke around one of our heads to figure things out. Also, fuck you.”

With those words, Sasha let go of Connie and fell to the ground with a loud thud.

“What happened to her?”

Connie rolled his eyes, walking around his girlfriend and taking a seat on another wooden chair. “We tried to track you down in case you tried to get away. Sasha wanted to show off her tracking skills but we just ended up going in circles for hours. I don’t know what you did but congrats, you threw off her superb tracking ability.”

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t want to be followed,” Jean lied. He suppressed his laughter and returned to the matter plaguing his thought. “Would you guys really do that for me?”

“Duh,” Reiner smirked. “You’ve saved us and helped us countless times. There’s not a person in this squad who wouldn’t do that. You’re our friend. Even if you came out of a lake from another world.”

“What?” Jean deadpanned.

“We’ll explain later. However, someone has already volunteered so no need to worry.”

Jean glanced around the room, on the verge of breaking down. He held himself together with a soft laugh. “And which sorry soul is doing that for me?”

All eyes fell on Marco, who gave a small wave. He tried not to make eye contact with Jean but failed miserably.

While some animosity remained, Jean pushed it aside with gratitude. “Thanks, Bodt- err, Marco. Sorry I said those things earlier. They were a little harsh.”

“It’s alright. This is the least I could do for saving my life. Repeatedly,” Marco spoke but his voice sounded choked. Sadness remained in his tone. “Why did you come back though?”

“Like I said, I needed to cool off.”

“You don’t cool off that fast,” Armin noted, earning a frown from Jean.

“You’re not wrong. But I spoke with some of Frieda’s servants by the lake. They were quite helpful. That Kruger is a bit of a prick but he was right.”

Sasha jumped up from the floor, pointing straight to Connie.

“I told you he was at the lake! But nooooo, you said he rode off into the sunset. My ass,” she mocked her boyfriend, sticking her tongue out at him. Rather than hold a grudge, she chose to settle into his lap.

While Sasha and Connie squabbled, Frieda cast a puzzled look at Jean.

“Who helped you?” She wondered.

“Some guy named Kruger and a boy named Falco.”

Frieda crossed her arms and looked at Reiner and Historia. “Falco is one of the house boys but Kruger? We don’t employ a Kruger.”

Jean’s stomach twisted upon hearing that information. “Then who was that asshole?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Kuchel is a treat so I apologize for how heavily she spoke this chapter, but I think it got the message across clearly that she's a mother first and a murderous leader second. What did you guys think of her? She has little to no development in the manga so I just ran with Isayama gave us, plus based her personality off her past in this world (which you guys will see more of in the upcoming chapters)
> 
> And we got a new guy although those who read the manga know who Kruger is. I won't tiptoe around that.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, reblogs, likes, and messages on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/) are appreciated and treasured!


	14. To Be Forgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean practices his eavesdropping skills in order to make sense of his current situation. While he watches Reiner finally admit his feelings to Bertl, its the conversation Connie and Sasha that leaves Jean the most impacted that day.

Jean stirred from his slumber, rolling from one side to another with a loud creak. His cot complained from the unexpected shift. Jean immediately regretted that choice as blood rushed into the arm he pinned under himself all night. Pins and needles poked every part of his arm where blood flowed, earning a groan from Jean as numbness slowly replaced the pain. While his arm recovered, he looked around the tiny room he chose to retire to the night before.

The cramped space housed a small wardrobe, a bed, Jean in his cot, and just enough floor space to accommodate one more body. Bertl’s limbs dangled off the edges of the bed while a quilt covered the rest of his body. A loud snore from below Jean drew his eyes to the ground. On the floor Reiner nested amongst the extra blankets and pillows.

A loud knock at the door startled Jean and awoke his roommates. The door cracked open to reveal a short woman with neck-length blonde hair.

“Boys, time for pancakes,” she announced. A wide smile pushed her winkles aside as she watched the boys stir.

“Ugh, five more minutes, mom,” Reiner requested through a yawn.

Mrs. Braun’s smile fell for a moment, “Is that what the military taught you? When I say pancakes are ready I mean now.”

“Yes, mom,” Reiner bolted upright.

Jean tilted his head back to see Reiner staring ahead, no trace of sleepiness on his face. Bertl remained underneath his covers.

“I’ll see you boys in a few. Dress appropriately as we have the kids eating with us today.”

Mrs. Braun closed the door behind her as she left.

Reiner threw off his sheets and sprung to his feet, going to his closet. He dug through the wardrobe until he found several shirts. He flung one onto Jean and turned his attention to his bed. He pulled the blanket off Bertl, replacing it with a shirt and some shorts.

“Rise and shine. Mom doesn’t like to be kept waiting,” Reiner said, poking Bertl’s feet until he curled into a ball. “Come on, I don’t want my mom to get a bad impression here.”

“Huh?” Jean responded, pulling the shirt off his head. He quirked an eyebrow. “Why do you care about her impression of us?”

Reiner squinted at Jean for a few seconds until realization dawned on him. A light blush crept onto his cheeks as he scratched the back of his head. “Oh! Yeah, well… I just want her to see my friends are great and all.”

Jean stared dully at Reiner while Bertl shifted around. “Uh-huh. Whatever.”

Jean quickly changed into the new shirt, ignoring how loosely it hung around his smaller frame. He just wasn’t built like his more muscular teammate.

Bertl on the other hand seemed to have a better fit, although the sleeves didn’t reach his wrists. He rolled his cuffs up and at least got a respectable appearance compared to Jean.

“Boys!” Reiner’s mom called from outside.

“Coming, mom!” Reiner shouted back.

\---

With a soft clatter, Jean placed his fork and knife on his plate and pushed it away from him. He gently patted his belly while the gaggle of children around him, Bertholdt, and Reiner continued to inhale their breakfast. Jean watched as Bertl and Reiner chatted amongst themselves while Mrs. Braun and several other adults ate their breakfast at another table. The group ate outside Reiner’s home, in the hills overlooking the Reiss estate.

A tug at Jean’s loose sleeve drew his eyes to a brown haired girl. She spoke before Jean even acknowledged her.

“Are you the dead guy?” She wondered.

“Huh?” Jean tilted his head, puzzled by question.

Reiner started hacking up a lung upon hearing those words.

“Gabi! What did I tell you?!” Reiner glared at her.

“Uh, oh right! Hi, I’m Gabi. Are you the dead guy?” Gabi introduced herself.

“Not that. I said not to tell anyone or to ask that,” Reiner pinched the bridge of his nose.

“He _is_ the dead guy!”

“No, I never died,” Jean corrected, capturing the attention of the adults.

“Our Jean did, but he’s not _that_ Jean. And keep your voice down,” Reiner scolded her.

“You’re undead? That’s so cool!” A boy shouted.

“Whoa, that’s awesome.” Another chimed in.

Jean squeezed his fist as he tried to ignore the various comments being shouted by the children.

“Kids!” Mrs. Braun interrupted. “Miss Frieda needs your help with preparing the house today. Go, now.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

All the children scattered, either from fear of Mrs. Braun or dedication to the Reiss household. Their parents trailed behind them, leaving the older boys with Reiner’s mom.

“Jean, please be a dear and bring the plates inside. Bertholdt, honey, you too.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bertl replied. He pushed himself up, gathering nearby plates as he walked towards the house.

Jean mimicked Bertholdt until all the plates were collected. Ignoring the clattering of fallen silverware, they took all the dirty dishes to the sink. Once his hands were free, Jean doubled back to start retrieving the various forks and knives he dropped. He reached the doorway to the house in time to see Reiner slumped over the table, hands resting in his hair.

“Don’t try to lie to me, son,” Mrs. Braun frowned as she rubbed her son’s shoulder. “Lying is unbecoming of you.”

“I-I-I… I’m not lying,” Reiner’s panicked eyes darted around the table for anything to focus on. Anything but his mother’s fierce gaze.

“Reiner Braun, I already told you not to lie to your mother,” she continued to scold, yet her voice never rose. Her voice had more disappointment than anger to it. “You’re even worse at it than your father, if that’s even possible.”

A bemused smile appeared on her face.

The fear gripping Reiner’s body loosened for a moment, his frame no longer trembling. “Mama?”

“He’s the one isn’t he? The tall one?” She asked, her smile widening. “At least I’m not the only one with a weakness for legs.”

“How… how did you know?”

Mrs. Braun stared dully at her son. “Are you telling me he doesn’t know?”

“Well, yeah,” Reiner pushed his hands through his already messy hair, regaining some semblance of confidence.

“My word, this generation really is thicker than your father’s skull,” Mrs. Braun sighed. “I had a feeling back before you left but I wanted you to come to me. Now that you’re home I see the way you stare, the way you brighten up when he enters the room. Hell, you gave him your _bed_. I’ve seen you raise a stink over giving that rickety thing for less.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t- I didn’t want to fail you,” Reiner finally faced his mother.

“Reiner, you’re the pride and joy of my life. You could _never_ disappoint me,” Mrs. Braun embraced her son. “Just promise me you’ll make yourself happy. You deserve as much. As the chosen shield of the Fritz family you’re entitled to as much.”

“Oh mom,” Reiner swallowed the lump in his throat, tears forming at the edge of his eyes.

“Shh, it’s ok,” she whispered, tightening her hold on her son. “Now tell me, how long have you been chasing this Bertholdt?”

“Since training,” Reiner admitted, a lush creeping onto his cheeks.

Jean watched Mrs. Braun stiffen up, a shocked expression replacing the happy one on her face.

“Training? Reiner, have you talked with him about this at all?”

“No! He’s my best friend,” Reiner sniffled.

Jean’s heart started to race as this logic seemed quite familiar.

“Then he’ll understand,” Mrs. Braun crossed her arms. “You’ll never know unless you ask. Has he ever shown interest in others?”

“Yeah, there was this one girl but she liked a girl who I think likes this boy who probably-”

“Honey, I don’t need to know some girl’s girl’s love interests. If your friend is single it can’t hurt to ask,” Mrs. Braun crossed her arms. “It’s not uncommon in the Survey corps, from what I hear, for boys to have similar preferences as yours.”

“But it’s Bertl, mom. He’s different,” Reiner replied.

Jean clutched his shirt as his mind started to race. Why was Reiner reciting thoughts that seemed so familiar?

“No buts. This is clearly bugging you. Why, when I met your father I was the same way. We were good friends. He was the grandson of the previous guardian of the family, I was the daughter of a maid. You’re father had a heart of gold, sharp wit, and, of course, legs and a great ass.”

“Mom!”

“What? I’m sorry you have my weaknesses. Not that your father’s legs could compare your friend’s. You could-”

“The point mom…”

“Ah right. The point is we were the best of friends but neither of us worked up the nerve until your father was chosen to be the replacement for his grandfather. He waited until he had nothing to lose. While we had many good times, I wish we could’ve spent more time together as lovers instead of friends. Don’t wait until you have no time left. Speak to him.”

A tap of Jean’s shoulder had the poor boy spinning around, nearly jabbing a fistful of dirty forks into Bertl.

“Whoa! You alright, Jean? I tried calling for you but you never replied. What’s going on?” Bertl peeked out the door. “Is everything alright? Wait, is Reiner crying?!”

“They were having a serious conversation. I was eavesdropping,” Jean released a held breath.

“You were spying on a personal conversation? That’s rude, Jean,” Bertl chastised him.

“Not as rude as leaving this poor woman a mountain of dirty dishes to clean!” Mrs. Braun shouted back at the two. Jean and Bertl jumped before scurrying inside to continue cleaning dishes. Back at the table Mrs. Braun pulled a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You boys, I swear.”

Reiner’s face whitened momentarily as he watched his two friends disappear inside the house.

“Did- did he hear us?” he started to panic.

“No, not Bertl. Jean did.”

Reiner let out a deep breath. “Good. But why didn’t you call him out like you did just now?”

“If that’s the boy Gabi keeps prattling on about I figured he needed to hear that too. While I appreciate you informing your cousin about your daily happenings, you really shouldn’t trust her with classified information or your other friend’s problems. She can’t keep her mouth shut.”

Reiner rolled his eyes upon hearing that information. “Of course. Wait, is that how you knew their names without me introducing Jean or Bertl?”

“I know how to get information without prying. Gabi’s interest in Jean gave him away. Bertl I had to take a guess on until I heard you mumble his name.”

“Then how did you-”

“Gabi. She said you liked someone with great legs.”

“Damn it, Gabi!”

\---

After completing their chores, Jean, Reiner, and Bertl trekked back to the main house on the Reiss estate. Jean remained silent the remainder of the morning, choosing not to meet Reiner’s gaze, who also opted not to meet Bertl’s eyes. It was an awkward but mutual silence the entire way to Historia’s house.

In the front yard Connie and Sasha took care of a new set of horses alongside Jaeger. When the boys came into their view, Sasha waved at them.

“There you guys are. Come on, we’re meeting in the dining room!” Sasha shouted before Connie elbowed her in the side, placing a finger over his lips.

“We’re trying to be stealthy here, remember?” he rolled his eyes.

Jean shook his head, chuckling at the pair’s antics.

The group met in the yard and walked inside. Sitting at one end of the table were Eld and Gunther quietly discussing something between them while Historia and Armin sat beside the pair. Historia’s eyes were swollen with bags beneath them. Armin wrapped an arm around her, muttering softly.

Just as Jean’s group entered the room, Marco and Frieda approached from the kitchen carrying a variety of fruits and vegetables.

“Ah, everyone’s here,” Gunther spoke, ending his conversation with Eld. Everyone took their seats as he continued. “Glad to know everyone survived the night. I’m still not sure how much we can trust that Kuchel Ackerman.”

“We can’t. No one outside this room is to be trusted,” Frieda stated, grabbing an apple from the bowl of fruit in front of her. “We’ll remain low until the date of the execution. I won’t risk losing more supplies to the Military Police.”

Eld and Gunther nodded while the remnants of Levi squad sat quietly.

“We still have our task to carry out before then so we’ll leave under the cover of dusk tonight,” Eld said.

A few of the younger Survey Corp members perked up upon hearing the news.

“What? We just got you back,” Connie frowned. “What’re we supposed to do without you two?”

Gunther cracked a wide smile, leaning forward over the table. “Same thing you’ve done until now without us: survive and succeed. You’re not the same cadets we trained all those years ago. You’ve all grown in your own ways, as have your skills.”

“But Levi’s the one who’s given us orders until now. We only made it this far under his command!”

Eld shook his head. “Not this far. You survived Trost without any guidance from him.”

“Yeah, through sheer dumb luck,” Connie crossed his arms.

A pang of anger brought a scowl to Jean’s face.

“Dumb luck? I know you’re a jokester but you can’t fool yourself that bad, Connie,” Gunther snorted. “Dumb luck would mean you’d be in an alley hunting for food as a pack. In Trost you repeatedly outwitted the MP, rescued your squad, and escaped the city. That took cunning, planning, and strong leadership.”

“And that’s precisely why Levi squad is being dissolved,” Eld spoke, drawing gasps from a few of the squad members.

“What do you mean? Are we being sidelined?” Historia said. Her voice cracked at the sudden interjection, still weak from sobbing.

Both men shook their heads but Eld proceeded next. “No, we have too few free Survey Corp members that we can rely on. Instead you’ll have a new squad leader for when we infiltrate Mitras to rescue the commander in a week.”

“You mean squad leaders,” Gunter corrected. “Your job will be to rescue the commander from the execution platform if it gets that far. They intend to make an example out of him and you’re our back-up plan if all else fails.”

“Squads?” Reiner narrowed his eyes. “Are you two leading us then?”

“No, we’ll be rendezvousing with Petra and Oluo to recruit as many members as we can. If this goes south we’ll need to remain strong together.”

“Then who?” Reiner glanced around the room. “Are there some other veterans coming to pick us up?”

Armin shook his head, taking his arm off Historia. He glanced around the room momentarily. “We’re going to lead ourselves, aren’t we?”

“Something like that,” Gunther confirmed. “We’ve heard enough to know that you have two strong leaders. These new squads will be led by Marco and Jean.”

Both boys’ eyes widened, staring at each other and then back to the commander. The spoke in unison, “ _What?!_ ”

“Connie, Sasha, and Armin will fall under Marco’s command while Reiner, Bertlholdt, and Historia will be underneath Jean.”

“Why me?” Jean placed his hands on the edge of the table. “Or did you forget my amnesia?”

Gunther shook his head. “Not at all. Despite your problem you and Marco took point on Trost and it was due to your collected nature and clear thinking this squad survived and thrived. Even if you wanted to turn down the job these were direct orders from Levi. Congratulations on the promotion Captain Bodt and Captain Kirschtein.”

Jean’s surprise faltered momentarily as the name struck a chord within him. The words carried a familiar, nostalgic ring, similar to Marco’s name on his tongue. He repeated it, trying to recall why it sounded both right and wrong at the same time. “Captain Kirschtein?”

Marco stared at Jean, pressing his lips together. He sighed before taking a banana, peeling it. “What else do we need to do?”

Eld rubbed his chin, briefly glancing upwards. “Honestly not much until the date. Just stay here and blend lin. As much as possible at least.”

“I’ll travel to the capital as anyone who’s anyone will be present,” Frieda spoke. “The military and nobles controlling the government are making an extravaganza out of this. You will follow as my escort under the guise of Garrison soldiers. Once inside the city you’ll break off and get as close to the execution platform as possible. Depending how events play out you’ll need to adapt as many things could happen between the trial and the execution. That’s where you’ll need to rely on the judgement of Marco and Jean. The other squads will be positioned across the city in case the Survey Corps need to finish the coup ourselves.”

“What about the king? Who will take power?” Armin asked.

Both of the veteran soldiers looked over to Frieda as she lay another eaten apple on the plate in front of her.

Jean noticed the rather big pile of scraps in front of not only Frieda but also Marco.

“I’ll assume the throne, as is my birthright,” Frieda declared.

“But, what about Ymir? And father?” Historia wondered, causing her sister to stare at the table in front of her.

“For crimes against this family and the throne dad will be arrested. I can’t forgive him for trying to kidnap and brainwash you. As for Ymir… I don’t know.”

Historia glared at her sister, slamming her fist onto the table as tear formed in her eyes. “You can’t take her away from me again! She didn’t ask for that power, it was forced on her!”

“We’ll cross that bridge when it comes. Until then, rest and recover. I have business to attend to in the meantime. Bodt, please come with me and we’ll continue where we left off. The rest of you continue helping around the estate, please.”

With a silent nod, Marco got to his feet and trailed Frieda out of the room.

Historia got up with a huff and stormed out of the room, leaving the others in a familiar, awkward silence. Familiar to Jean, Reiner, and Bertl at least.

\---

With a loud grunt, Jean heaved a sack of potatoes onto a nearby cart, pausing to wipe the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. He found a nearby tree stump to rest on while he recovered his strength. Some rustling in the tree branches above drew his attention.

Sasha’s head popped out of the leaves, startling Jean. She smiled while he clutched his chest. “Hey, Jeanbo.”

Jean exhaled a deep breath, regaining his cool. “Warn a man next time. What are you doing up there?”

Sasha shrugged her shoulders while a few branches snapped around her. “Relaxing.”

Jean raised an eyebrow, skeptical, “In a tree?”

“With me,” Connie stated as he dropped down next to Jean, causing his friend to fall off the stump. Jean landed backwards, surprised by the turn of events yet unsurprised that it was the two.

“What did I just say about warning me?!” Jean scowled, remaining on his back.

Connie observed Jean before looking at Sasha. He pointed with his thumb at his girlfriend. “For her to do it?”

Rolling his eyes, Jean got to his feet. He pat his butt, a cloud of dust forming around him.

“What are you doing? I thought we were done for the day?” Sasha asked, still hanging upside down from her branch.

“And go back to Reiner’s? No thank you,” Jean shuddered at the thought.

The couple glanced at each other, shrugging. “What happened?”

Jean swiped some stray sleeves from his sleeve, shaking his head. “Short version is that Mrs. Braun took it upon herself to get Reiner talk to Bertholdt.”

“Ooh, what’d she do?” Sasha wondered, swinging back and forth in anticipation. She sounded way too excited about this.

Content with his appearance, Jean crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. “While we were loading the potatoes a bit ago she came by to check up on us. She might’ve asked Reiner if he talked to Bertl about the “the thing”, whatever the hell that means, and then she left. Bertl wondered what that meant and Reiner refused to answer. Bertl took offense since they always tell each other everything and ran off. Reiner followed and I stayed here because I’m not going to be there for that conversation.”

Connie and Sasha exchanged worried expressions and sighed. “Well it needed to happen eventually.”

“But not like that,” Connie admitted. He took a seat on the stump and rested his chin on his hands. “Have you talked with Marco or Armin yet?”

A chill ran down Jean’s spine at the mention of his two supposed friends. His scowl deepened and he shook his head. “Of course not. I’ve been working all day.”

A loud groan came from the tree as Sasha pulled herself up into it. “You can’t stay mad at them.”

“Sure I can. They lied to me,” Jean stated, reaching for another sack of potatoes.

Connie’s expression soured at the thought. “Don’t act like a kid, Jean. And that’s coming from me. Would you’ve believed them if they told you that you came from another world?”

Jean lifted the sack with a loud grunt, waddling over to the cart. Once he dropped it he looked over his shoulder, shrugging, “Probably not. But the intention is there. They knowingly lied to my face like I was a huge part of their lives, your lives. I died in Trost here apparently. Still processing that.”

“That doesn’t mean you weren’t,” Sasha spoke from the tree. “According to your stories you were great friends with Armin. And here we can vouch that you and Marco were best friends.”

Jean grabbed another sack, ignoring the itchy burlap as he hugged it with both arms. “How do you know I was friends with Armin? I don’t even remember that.”

Connie’s eyes fell to the ground at the mention of Jean’s death. “You’re the reason Armin isn’t in prison right now. During a battle both Eren and Mikasa ran off but Armin stayed. We threw him in prison because we couldn’t trust him, yet you did. That trust eventually got him back on the squad.”

Jean heaved the potatoes once more, still not making eye contact with Connie. “Oh, so that wasn’t a lie then. Still, I doubt I had much of an impact on anyone here if I died at Trost.”

Jean turned for the last bag but a body suddenly landed next to him, shocking him. He stumbled backwards into the cart. When he tried to straighten back up he found Sasha glaring at him.

“Don’t you dare say that. You weren’t here to see what your death did to us,” Sasha planted her finger on Jean’s chest. “You might’ve been a prick but you saved a few of us with your quick thinking in Trost. And your death hit Marco the hardest. You were his best friend, whether you remember it or not.”

With a swift grasp, Jean took Sasha’s hand off his chest. Seeing her angry and taking something seriously neutralized Jean’s temper. He stepped around her to retrieve the last sack.

“Like I said, it still doesn’t sit well with me,” Jean replied, skirting around that new information. He’d have to think about that later. “If you’re asking me to forgive them they’ll need to come to me. Lying isn’t something I forgive that easily.”

Now Connie seemed to be the one to take exception to Jean’s attitude as he glared from the stump.

“You can’t forgive the pair who helped get you out of Trost, tried to help you remember things when you couldn’t, and saved your life?” Connie reminded Jean.

“I already said it’s not that easy to forgive them. I haven’t forgotten the last few days but- I don’t exactly have much to trust in my head. Someone tells me one thing while others tell me something different. It’s not that easy!” Jean slammed the last sack onto the cart, gritting his teeth as his anger came forth again.

The other two remained unmoved by the display.

“Jean, there are many things that are hard to forgive, and some that can’t be forgiven, trust me,” Connie started, his fierce glare softening as he focused on the grass at his feet. “But your friends trying to look out for you is something that’s easy to understand. Don’t be an idiot.”

Connie pushed himself up and started walking back to the main house.

Sasha turned to join him but stopped, leaving Jean one last piece of advice.

“If you doubt our words then trust your actions. Why would you sacrifice your memory for them if they didn’t mean something to you? They were your only comrades in that house and we’ve already explained that mission to you. They were the bait, you were taken accident. Think about that.”

With those words Sasha ran up to Connie, looping an arm through his. Connie’s posture straightened before he glanced back at the ground.

Meanwhile, Jean’s anger simmered away as he thought about Sasha’s words. For once she made a solid point that Jean didn’t have an immediate reaction to. Rather than dwell on it, he returned to Reiner’s house to find someone to get the food back to proper storage. He prayed that Bertl and Reiner weren’t going to be there.

\---

Bright orange and red painted the sky as the sunset behind Jean, his mind replaying the conversation he had with Sasha and Connie. Despite all the mixed emotions racing through his head, he couldn’t deny his own actions. Why would he be the one Rod Reiss took memories from, especially when he had two other soldiers who probably irked him more than Jean?

Perhaps there was a simple explanation for it all but Jean didn’t find one before he arrived at Reiner’s house, and certainly not before he overheard two familiar voices bickering by a long dead tree. He didn’t need to even look over to see it was Reiner and Bertl, the latter of which seemed pretty angry.

“ _That’s_ what’s been bothering you?” Bertl asked, exasperation in his voice. He rubbed his temple with his fingers as his voice started to calm down. “You’ve been dodging the question for the last hours because of that?”

Reiner leaned on the rough bark, his face almost as red as the sky. “Well, yes.”

Bertl took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “And here I thought you were hiding something important from me.”

Jean continued to walk to the house, trying to not be seen by the two but keeping an open ear.

“What? Of course that’s important,” Reiner’s head snapped in Bertl’s direction. “Aren’t you going to yell at me or blame me for ending our friendship?”

Bertl turned towards Reiner, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Important is me telling you Ragako got destroyed and my mom getting turned into a titan. This… this is schoolyard stuff. Do you really think our friendship is so weak that it’d crumble if you confessed your crush?”

Reiner blinked a bit, slowly nodding his head. “Well, yes?”

“Man, you’re dense,” Bertl shook his head. His arm slid around Reiner’s neck and pulled him close. “Our friendship is much stronger than that but... I guess its run its course.”

“You don’t mean…” Reiner’s voice lowered, almost too soft for Jean to hear. His hopeful tone wasn’t lost on those listening though.

Rather than answer, Bertl leaned in and pecked Reiner on the cheek. “I mean if you want more so do I. Also you should shave, you’re itchy.”

“B-b-b-but what about Annie?” Reiner replied, causing Bertl’s smile to fall.

“What about her? She’s interested in someone else, which is clear. Plus she’s kinda trying to kill us so I’m sure she doesn’t care for us.”

“Fair,” Reiner agreed, pulling Bertl closer.

Jean paused midstep as he saw his two teammates lean in for a kiss. Instead of remaining frozen, a slap to the back of his head drew him out of his stupor.

“What? Is eavesdropping on my son’s problems not enough or your curiosity?” Mrs. Braun scolded Jean.

“Oh well, I-I needed to tell someone the potatoes are ready for storage,” Jean quickly replied.

Mrs. Braun clicked her tongue, “Uh huh. Well you told someone, now scram. Let the boys have some privacy. I imagine you don’t want to be here for the next part.”

Jean squinted at Mrs. Braun until realization dawned on him. “Oh. Oh…”

“Good, now shoo,” Mrs. Braun pushed Jean away from the house and back the way he came.

“Better find a new place to sleep tonight,” Jean sighed, not even wanting to glance back over his shoulder at his two friends. Now both squads had couples on them.

\---

By the time Jean reached the main estate, the sun had sunk below the horizon. The last trappings of daylight guided Jean to the stables. Between Sasha’s words tugging at his thoughts and the mixed emotions he felt watching Reiner and Bertholdt confess to each other, perhaps being with Jaeger would be what he needed to clear his thoughts. Having a situation resonate with him but not know why proved to be very disconcerting.

As Jean placed his hand on the wooden door, muffled voices reached his ears. His arm froze as he swiftly identified the two voices: Marco and Armin. Carefully he pressed his ear to the door though he couldn’t understand what they were saying.

Having learned nothing at all about eavesdropping that day, Jean backed away from the door and crept alongside the building until he position himself underneath an open window.

“—should share. If it’s that painful then we can take the burden,” Armin spoke, concern in his voice.

“No, it has to be me,” Marco replied, followed by a loud, juicy crunch. He now spoke with his voice a bit muffled. “No one spent as much time with him as I did.”

“You weren’t with him every waking moment,” Armin contested.

“No but we don’t have the time to have everyone go through the same process. It’s an intense process on both of us. If this is Frieda being gentle I can’t even imagine what happened to him.”

Another crunch paused the conversation.

“Marco, if you’re trying to do this to get Jean’s forgiveness then you’re doing it wrong,” Armin sighed.

Jean’s mouth went dry at the mention of his name. Why were they talking about him now? A soft thud from inside drew Jean’s attention back to reality.

“It’s not for his forgiveness. It’s to get our teammate back,” Marco replied, taking another crunch of something. “He gave his memories so we could live. At the very least I owe him this.”

A sigh emerged from inside.

“Marco, I can’t tell if you’re trying to lie to me or yourself,” Armin admitted. “This is Jean we’re talking about. Not Connie, not Eren, and certainly not the captain. I’ve seen you grow and change after Trost, when Jean died. These last few months since this Jean came to us have been the most happy I’ve seen you in years.”

Sweat formed on Jean’s brow as goosebumps crawled down his skin. Where was Armin going with this conversation?

“That tends to happen when your best friend rises from the grave,” Marco snorted.

“The same could be said for him based on his reaction when he saw you,” Armin said, his voice getting softer. “I’m going out on a limb here and guessing you know about yourself in his world.”

“…Yeah. He told me a while ago.”

“Then I’ll tell you what I told him when he first got here. You seeing him again is as miraculous as him getting to see you. Second chances very rarely come by. Don’t waste the opportunity.”

Silence fell over the conversation as Jean tried to piece the information together. No matter how he tried to slice it, Armin’s ominous words didn’t bode well.

“And what about you?” Marco finally spoke once more.

A hearty chuckle erupted from Armin. “What about me?”

“What about Eren? You never told me what he spoke to you about during the battle before he ran. You’re still holding out hope for him?”

“Yes. I know Mikasa and him are alive,” Armin replied, his voice lowering. “I just wish he thought his actions through. He isn’t bad and he’s not the armored titan that attacked Shinganshina. Everything he’s said about the attack that day is the truth.”

“Then why attack us? Why kidnap Jean? It still makes no sense,” Marco hummed a bit, another crunch echoing from the stable.

“I… I don’t know. But yes, I’m still pinning for him,” Armin admitted. “Though your odds are much better than me.”

Jean heard some shifting form inside but didn’t peer into the window to see what happened.

“Please. Jean’s still angry with me,” Marco teased.

“Angry with _us_ ,” Armin corrected. “But you can be forgiven. Somethings can’t be forgiven and some people can’t forgive.”

“What? Did you do something to Eren too?” Marco wondered.

“…Yes. And if he ever knew, I doubt he’d understand.” Armin cryptically spoke.

“Whatever it is I’m sure Eren wouldn’t be pissed at you forever. You’re his best friend after all.”

“And you’re Jean’s. Best friends can still get angry at each other.”

“Touché,” Marco laughed.

While listening intently at the conversation inside the stable, Jean didn’t notice an apple core being thrown out the window. When he felt something land in his lap, his body reacted the way any shocked person would. He made a flurry of movement to get the unsuspecting object off his lap but he kept his mouth shut. Despite the silence, he still slammed his head against the stable wall.

“Did you hear that?” Armin whispered, quickly jumping to his feet.

Both he and Marco ran to the window, looking outside for the source of the noise. However, all they found was darkness and Marco’s discarded apple core on the ground.

“Weird. But it’s getting late. Let’s go to bed,” Marco suggested, earning a nod from Armin.

A few feet away from the window and pressing his back to a tree trunk stood Jean, clasping a hand over his mouth. At least he was one for three on getting caught listening to conversations. 

\---

Here's a little Christmas gift for ya'll. I got a scene from the very beginning commissioned :D

Marco opened the door to the room where he and several other guys from the Survey Corps slept. The amount of bunk beds brought with it an air of nostalgia from Jean’s training days. He remained frozen in place by the entrance while Marco entered and made a beeline for a bunk in the corner. At the base of bed sat a footlocker. Marco bent down and started shuffling through it. Jean bit his bottom lip a little bit as he entered the room, his eyes traveling to his squadmate’s back. Marco faced away from Jean and gave his new teammate ample view of his behind.

Jean mentally scolded himself for eyes lingering on Marco’s ass longer than he should. “Must get cramped in here.”

Marco paused to give Jean a surprised look. “I prefer to think of it as cozy.”

“Of course you do,” Jean laughed dryly, earning a concerned look from Marco. His blood froze as he realized he said something out of line. “I mean-”

Before Jean could mumble out an awkward apology, Marco closed the distance between them and got in Jean’s face. With only mere centimeters between them Jean’s brain short-circuited. Despite being so close Marco’s eyes seemed interested in every other part of Jean’s face besides his eyes. He was studying Jean. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Jean used the opportunity to do the same. The freckles that dusted Marco’s cheeks seemed spot-on from what Jean could remember. Besides being somewhat thinner and more mature than his last memory of him, Marco seemed every bit the person Jean recalled.

The only thing Jean didn’t anticipate was Marco grabbing his jaw and tilting his head up to check out his neck. In a moment of panic, Jean stumbled backwards from the surprise contact. He raised his hands defensively in front of his chest.

“You even have the same mole just below your right ear,” Marco mumbled to himself, not even apologizing for the sudden intrusion.

“Oi! You don’t see me grabbing your backside to look for the big dipper on your left ass cheek!” Jean narrowed his eyes while dropping his arms.

Marco’s eyes widened at the words Jean spat at him. Jean blinked a few moments until realization dawned on him. He pressed his lips together as he was too embarrassed to continue.

“…it’s on my right cheek…” Marco meekly corrected as a light blush hid some of his lighter freckles.

Jean frowned for a moment as he processed that information, briefly forgetting his situation again. “No, it was definitely on his left ass cheek.”

Marco blinked a few times until Jean’s brain caught up with his mouth. Jean groaned and slapped his forehead when realized once again.

“I think I know my own butt…” Marco blushed as he stared at Jean’s feet. Jean simply nodded as he scratched the back of his head. Both boys only lasted a few moments in awkward silence before they broke out into a light chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a heck of a month for writing so I apologize for the lack of updates. Between life and Jeanmarco gift exchange it's been a busy writing month.
> 
> Since this is likely my last update for the year, I'll give little hint for the next chapter or two. We're going to Mitras and going to see the conclusion of the coup de tat. Shifters will be revealed, words will be exchanged, and Jean will come to some realizations as humanity gets pushed to the edge. Some of the hints dropped these last few chapters will make more sense.
> 
> And for the final treat, I hope you all enjoyed the illustration provided by [thcrsthry](http://thcrsthry.tumblr.com). The art is beautiful and no words can describe how grateful I am for the picture. What do you all think I should do for the next commission? What would you like to see illustrated? Please go to [thcrsthry](http://thcrsthry.tumblr.com) and give them all the love. Their JM art is legendary, and their are wickedly talented.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading. Comments, kudos, and everything is appreciated. You can find me on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com).


	15. Journey to the Center of the Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Jean and the remaining of Survey Corps members arrive and prepare for the trial of Erwin Smith, its the trial itself where everyone's true colors show and place all parties in a tricky situation. Also Jean struggling with his new feelings towards Marco but when isn't he?

“Jean! Jean!” an eager voice stirred Jean from his slumber. “Get up, you gotta see this!”

With an irritated groan, Jean rubbed the sleep away from his eyes. When he cracked them open he found Connie leaning over him, shirtless and smiling. His comrade dropped a newspaper on his face, adding to Jean’s irritation.

“What is it?” Jean asked, snatching the paper from his face. As he eyes adjusted in the darkness, Connie remained as jubilant as ever.

“Hange did it! And perfect timing too,” Connie answered, managing to not clarify anything at all.

Jean kept quiet, focusing all his attention on the newspaper. His eyes widened upon seeing the headlines. 

“Liars and Treason: The false king and his secret police that silence the voices of humanity. Concrete proof found that proves King Fritz is a puppet for the real royal family and has maintained his power through a secret police that murders any dissent. Multiple repots coming from various cities back-up the claims…” Jean read aloud. The newspaper wrinkled in his grasp, disbelief written on his face. “But how?”

Connie laughed, slapping Jean on the back. “Hange squad. You probably don’t remember but it was Hange’s job to find and spread proof of government lies. We’ve been investigating them for years and sowing the seeds of their existence, and everything that’s happened over the last few days provided the proof.”

“What does that matter? Erwin is still facing execution,” Jean frowned, yet his pessimism did little to deter Connie.

“It’s part of the big plan. Something huge is going to go down in Mitras, but Erwin kept that part to himself, Levi, and Hange. Either way we’re going to be leaving to go soon so get dressed. Our uniforms will be at the breakfast table,” Connie informed Jean. “Chop chop!”

“Get out of here so I can get ready or I’ll chop chop your head off,” Jean grumbled, stretching his arms over his head.

“Alright, but don’t take too long. The capital is still a few hours ride from here,” Connie reminded him, slipping a shirt over his head. “Oh and Jean? At least try and make peace with Armin and Marco before we arrive.”

With those last words, Connie took his leave.

Jean sat on his bed, staring at the paper in his hands. Despite being several days since the conversation he overheard in the barn he still hadn’t brought himself to confront his two friends. Perhaps another conversation on horseback with the two was needed then.

\---

Donning another division’s emblem felt dirty. Even with no memory Jean knew that the twin roses he wore on his cloak were wrong. It was the division charged with protecting the walls, the group that maintained order. Yet they seemed to fail at even those basic tasks. Those that failed to earn a position with the illustrious Military Police yet valued their lives to not join the damned members of the Survey Corps fell in line with the twin roses of the Garrison. Once upon a time Jean thought of them as the soldiers with a brain, but now he knew they were the ones lacking heart.

“My sister will accompany me in the carriage alongside Reiner, as is the duty of the Attack titan. He’ll serve as our shield if things go wrong. Sasha, Connie, and Bertholdt will lead from the front while Armin, Captain Bodt, and Captain Kirschtein guard the rear. The supply carts will leave after us and be dropped off in Mitras at various locations in case they’re needed. Any questions?” Frieda explained, laying out a map of the capital in front of all the soldiers. A variety of X’s indicated where the supply carts would be hidden while other symbols showed where other potential squads would be stationed _if_ events were to go wrong.

“Where will you go once we arrive in the city, sister?” Historia wondered.

“I’ll attend the trial and find father. Hopefully I can get him away so we can remove him from the equation. You’re to rejoin your squad once we arrive. I hate to put you in danger but the Survey Corps is severely lacking in manpower. Most of the members have been rounded up and taken to the capital. I fear the worst if Erwin is to be executed.”

Jean swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to not think of the worst outcome. It wasn’t like their lives were on the line or anything.

“Shall we take out leave? It’s a long ride to the capital,” Marco suggested.

“Indeed, let’s,” Frieda agreed.

Everyone nodded their heads and prepared to take their leave.

As Jean stood, a hand landed on his shoulder. He glanced back to see Frieda grabbing him.

“Yes, my liege?” Jean replied, his voice trying to sound neutral.

Frieda smiled but shook her head. “That’s not my title yet though I appreciate the gesture. When this is all over and the dust settles we can begin the process of restoring your memories. Or at least the ones I’m familiar with.”

Jean blinked a few times as he processed those words. “My memories? But how?”

“I’m familiar with your training days as well as what’s transpired since Utgard. It’ll be a bit haphazard but we can start there,” Frieda dropped her hand, letting it fall to her side. As if anticipating Jean’s next question, she continued, “I’ve been reviewing your history with Captain Bodt. I must say you’re quite lucky to have spent so much time with him. It made the piecing together process much easier. I didn’t have to sift through everyone else’s memories.”

“We spent that much time together?” Jean wondered.

Frieda gave a tiny smile as her face tinted pink. “Yes, and I believe you have much to discuss once you’re back to normal. Marco has lots he needs to tell you, and I believe you’ll have the same.”

Tilting his head, Jean quirked an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

Shaking her head one last time, Frieda turned to leave. “That’ll be for you to decide when the time comes. But now we don’t have a second to spare. Prepare to leave immediately.”

Ignoring the coil of nerves tightening in his stomach, Jean nodded and did as told.

\---

Travelling from the outer walls to the capital took time, even with a noble that routinely traveled to and from. Doing as told, Bertl, Connie, and Sasha watched the front while Jean, Marco, and Armin guarded the rear. Unlike the last trip, the three in the rear remained silent. Jean rode behind his two friends trying to determine the best way to begin a conversation. He noticed Marco rubbing his temple every few minutes, a gesture he hadn’t seen during their time together the last few days. When Marco grabbed his head once more, Jean saw his opportunity.

“Side effect from working with Frieda for the last week?” Jean guessed, causing his two friends to glance back.

Marco paled at the question. “How did you know?”

A tiny smirk formed on Jean’s face. “I pay attention, especially when my friends start hurting.”

“Oh,” Marco replied, turning his face forward and out of Jean’s view.

“Frieda told him before we left,” Armin corrected, causing Jean’s face to tint pink.

Marco glanced back, his face looking a bit red. Jean attributed the coloration to the rising sun.

“That too,” Jean admitted.

“Well, yes. She sifted through my mind to try and… it’s as revealing as it is painful. If what I did was voluntary I can’t even imagine what Rod Reiss forcing his way in felt like,” Marco shuddered.

“I’m not sure I want to relive that. If Frieda keeps that memory out of my mind I think I’d be fine,” Jean spoke, content with not recalling that miserable situation.

“What do you mean by revealing?” Armin wondered, his natural curiosity appearing.

Marco bit down on his bottom lip, looking forward once more. “When they peer through your memory, they know what you know, feel what you feel at the moments of your memories. It’s… intense.”

Jean nodded in understanding. Perhaps that was what Frieda said when they had things they needed to discuss. She knew something that Jean didn’t. Rather than follow up on that point, Jean instead chose to bridge the rift that appeared a few days earlier.

“You didn’t have to do all of that for my forgiveness, especially if you were going through a lot of pain,” Jean closed his eyes, trying to keep his emotions in check. He could feel Marco’s and Armin’s piercing gazes as he cobbled together an excuse for Marco’s selfless act. “But… But I appreciate it. I know why you two did what you did and I want you to know that I’m over it. Mostly. I just needed some time to accept how bizarre my existence here is.”

Jean cracked open his eyes to see both boys staring at him with neutral expressions. Armin’s eyes fell to his horse while Marco pressed his lips together in a tight line. He pulled on his reigns and his horse fell back to Jean’s so they were riding side by side.

“I’d gladly do it again for you. You’re a valuable teammate who’s saved my life many times,” Marco explained, though his voice wavered and sounded more somber than happy.

“We’re not just teammates, we’re best friends, right?” Jean corrected him, offering Marco a cocky smirk.

Marco’s eyes widened, his body stiffening upon hearing those words. His lips slowly curved into a tiny smile, “Y-yes. We are.”

Jean felt the coil in his stomach tighten rather than release like he was hoping.

Before Jean could think of a reply, Connie appeared form the front, pointing to Marco. “Hey, Captain. There’s something we need you to see up front.”

Dropping his smile, Marco regained his composure and rode up to Connie. Both took off towards the front, leaving Jean with Armin. Silence had little time to come as Armin fell back near Jean.

“I wanted to let you know that I tried to find that boy and Kruger guy you mentioned before. Both went missing the night after you talked to them,” Armin informed Jean.

Jean’s blood chilled. “Well it doesn’t matter, I suppose. I’m here and that’s not going to change.”

“That’s great and all but it’s still weird. But then again that probably isn’t the weirdest thing to happen all week,” Armin laughed at the end. His expression softened for a moment, “Thanks for understanding, even if you haven’t truly forgiven us. We really wanted to do good by you.”

“And you have. I thought forgiving you guys would make me feel less nervous around you two but…,” Jean replied, clutching his stomach.

But?” Armin’s demeanor shifted as his curiosity piqued once more. His eyes surveyed Jean. “Still nervous? Why would Marco and I make you nervous?”

“It’s not you and Marco… just Marco. My heart races, my stomach flutters, and I get light headed when I see him,” Jean recited his symptoms like a list. “I think I like the dude.”

“That’s what’s bothering you?”  
Jean glanced over at Armin, glaring his eyes as he saw the happy look on his face. “What’s with that smile, Arlert? Don’t make me take back my forgiveness.”

“Oh, I’m just happy you’re capable of liking someone besides Mikasa,” Armin shrugged, not really convincing Jean.

“Uh huh. And falling for my best friend is somehow amusing to you,” Jean rolled his eyes. He let out a loud sigh. “Maybe when my memories come back I can leave this behind me.”

Armin’s smile fell flat at that notion. “Do you think they will? You’ll still have these memories when your other ones return.”

“Who knows? I’ll cross that bridge when it comes.”

Jean gripped Jaeger’s reins tightly, his knuckles whitening form the pressure. Despite his apathetic appearance, Armin’s question did eat at him the more he pondered it. He wanted to know what would happen. Would this just make him confused when he regained his senses? Would he have to chastise himself for having feelings for Marco? The only assured fact was that this confusion wouldn’t matter when he gained those memories, if he regained them.

Biting on the inside of his cheek, Jean thought about the mission ahead. They would have to survive this first before he could even consider the possibilities of his memories.

\---

At the center of the three walls stood Mitras as the capital and home of the royal family, humanity’s most fortified city. Due to its regal nature, only the wealthiest and most important citizens claimed a stake in the city. Poverty clawed at the outskirts like any city but being the seat of power meant more Military Police and Garrison soldiers patrolling. This city served the perfect setting for the trial of century.

“The trial is in two hours, milady,” the Military Police guarding the gate informed Frieda. He spoke to her through the carriage window. “Your father is expecting you at his highness’ royal abode.”

“Thank you,” Frieda dismissed with the wave of a hand.

With no further interruptions, the gates opened and allowed everyone inside.

All the kids heard the stories of the mighty city, but seeing it in person for the first time took Jean aback. Pristine, different architecture, and countless blossoms despite the time of year all demonstrated the vast difference between the outer cities and the inner cities. Coupled with the castle at the heart of the town that all citizens could see upon entering the city, Mitras established itself as the most impressive human settlement. Untouched by war, conflict, and famine.

The carriage pulled to a halt on a side street in the city, Frieda emerging with her sister and Reiner. The two squads circled around on horseback.

“This is where we separate. Be in the town center for the conclusion of the trial and try not to get caught by then. If you get lost just know the seven main streets all meet in the center. There you’ll find the gallows meant for Erwin. The fate of humanity rests on your shoulders,” Frieda informed the small group, going back into her carriage. She made a quick salute with her hand, the other quickly copying the gesture.

After Frieda and her servants left, the two new squads huddled up. The remaining members of Levi squad exchanged silent glances, shifting from one person to another until all eyes fell on Jean and Marco. The two boys looked around until they noticed no one speaking.

“Well?” Reiner asked. “What’re we going to do?”

Jean and Marco blinked a few times before remembering their new positions.

“Oh! Right. Uh, we’re…” Jean started, unable to form an idea.

“We’re going to split up and explore the capital. Squads will stay together but we’re to search for any signs of other squads as well as do reconnaissance. We need to know what we’re potentially up against. My squad will explore the eastern half while Kirschtein squad will explore the west. If we find something pressing report to one of the rendezvous points to the northeast of the gallows. We meet there one last time. If all goes well then we’ll be celebrating when Erwin comes out, otherwise prepare for a rescue mission,” Marco stated.

All eyes fell on Jean. He remained quiet for a few seconds until he realized they were waiting on him.

“What Marco said. Historia, Reiner, and Bertholdt with me,” Jean ordered.

“Yes, sir,” Reiner replied, catching everyone’s attention. “…Man that feels weird saying that to Jean.”

“Captain Kirschtein to you, Braun. Let’s go,” Jean chided his friend, much to his pleasure. He couldn’t help the cocky grin forming on his face when he turned to leave.

His squad trailed him, all raising their hoods.

\---

Patrolling the capital proved as tedious as it was informative. Any fears of standing out were quickly dashed by the number of soldiers Kirschtein squad encountered. Security remained a top priority for the nobles, especially with the number of nobles running around with their families. Even with the abundance of soldiers, many civilians were out and about doing business. Some shopped, some explored the city, and others travelled to the town center with hopes of catching the spectacle.

During their week away from civilization, none of the Survey Corp members heard about the trial. Nothing prepared them for the variety of merchants and peddlers amongst the population. What they understood as a simple trial and execution instead became a celebration. Banners and papers advertised the death of the commander and the Survey Corps itself.

“The time has come for the Goddesses to punish the wicked Survey Corps!” A Wallist priest shouted from a makeshift platform on the side of the road. “Today we see the true behavior of traitors. Divine retribution will be had!”

Historia growled at those words. That man was far from the first and likely not the last. The clanging of their heavy metal chins echoed whenever Kirschtein passed either a group of Wallist men or another vocal man on a stage. The capital served as the home for the Church of the Walls.

Near the walls Jean and his group spotted countless soldiers walking on top of the walls, far more than Trost ever posted. They walked in groups of three, while escorting someone in the middle with a sack over their head. While Jean couldn’t see where the escorts headed, the possibilities left a chill going down Jean’s spine.

“We should head back, Jean,” Bertl spoke just above a whisper. “The crowds are all heading to the center and we might not be able to push through if we don’t arrive early.”

Jean nodded in agreement. “Good point, let’s go.”

On the way back, a few interesting conversations were overheard.

“Did you see the headlines this morning from the Berg Newspaper? King Fritz isn’t the true king,” someone spoke to another.

“It’s propaganda by the Survey Corps supporters,” another replied.

“Maybe but the other district newspapers are reporting the same. Last week they called for the heads of every Survey Corps members… Maybe-”

Conversations like that fueled hope in Jean’s heart.

\---

“Ya know, despite serving the king all these years I’ve never been formally invited to any of these fancy events,” Kuchel admitted, staring at her reflection. “This uniform feels too tight in all the wrong places. Are you sure this is proper attire for a trial?”

Levi nodded, sitting in a chair. He dressed in his standard Survey Corps uniform. “All military trials I’ve seen require proper uniform from soldiers. It’s tacky.”

“I agree,” Kuchel replied, slipping on a Military Police jacket. She ran her hands behind her neck and pushed her long, black hair out and over the jacket. “This unicorn feels so… what’s the word those nobles use?”

“Ugly?” Levi guessed. He pressed his hands on his knees and stood up.

“Well yes but no,” Kuchel smiled. She snapped her fingers when it hit her. “Gaudy! This thing is gaudy.”

Levi strolled over to his mom, his eyes focusing on her back. He reached a shaky hand out for her, but stopped halfway there. When she began to turn, he withdrew his grasp.

“The trial begins soon. We should go,” Levi frowned.

“Yes, time for this whole mess to finally end,” Kuchel frowned. “No offense to Erwin, but it’s time for this charade to end so we can all go back to the way things should be.”

Kuchel popped an elbow and offered it to her son. Levi froze for a moment but eventually looped his arm through hers. They left for the trial being held in the castle.

“And how should things be?” Levi wondered.

“Roddy has his daughter back, Nick has his daughter, I have my son, and we can all go our happy, separate ways,” Kuchel answered. “The Survey Corps will be eliminated so no more people snooping in the wrong places, order will return to the walls, and I can retire and watch my son start a family.”

Levi paused, startling his mom when she felt a tug from his sudden stop.

“Mom, you’re not naïve,” Levi shook his head, earning a stern expression Kuchel. “None of those will come to pass, especially if this trial ends the way you’re hoping.”

“And why’s that, honey?”

Glancing out a nearby window, Levi observed the masses forming at the town center in front of the castle.

“I’m sure you already know the answer,” Levi moved for the trial hall, bringing his mother along. “But people strive to go beyond these walls. Destroying the Survey Corps will not end that desire.”

Kuchel pressed her lips together, not replying.

When the pair entered the trial hall, quite the crowd had already formed. A long table lined one end of the room. The wealthiest nobles were already seated, waiting for the heads of the military divisions. All but one. The emblem of the Survey Corps was emblazoned on one of the chairs, but large gash cut through it. Raised benches and other seating lined the edges of the room where other spectators sat behind dark, oaken rails. In the center of the marble-floored room sat one empty chair.

Kuchel followed Levi to a pair of the seats in the front row close to the tables of nobles. Kuchel and Levi ignored the stares that followed them throughout the room. Maybe it was the reveal of the Central Military Police or maybe it was Levi’s jacket. They sat amongst Kuchel’s squad, next to other important Garrison captains. While the military lined one set of spectator seats, nobles and the Wallists lined the opposite side. Levi easily spotted Pastor Nick, Rod Reiss, and Frieda Reiss across the room. He smirked at the cold glare he received from the true king of the walls.

Silence fell over the room when the grand doors opened at one end of the hall. Through them walked the heads of the military: Dot Pixis, Nile Dok, Darius Zackly, and Erwin Smith. They escorted Erwin, keeping him centered between them and handcuffed. Erwin’s hands were momentarily freed when he sat on the chair, only to be restrained behind his back by rope in order to pin him to the study piece of furniture.

The military leaders joined the nobles at the table, leaving only the center and most regal looking seat empty.

“Please rise for his majesty, King Fritz!” A soldier declared as the king passed through the same doors as the military leaders.

An old frail man passed through the doors, hunched over. Two servants walked beside him, holding his hands as he slowly crossed the long room. The tension grew thick as the king took increasingly long steps. Everyone remained standing and sweating until King Fritz reached his seat. His two servants bowed and disappeared with a wave of his hand. The king glanced forward and nodded, allowing the others in the room to sit.

“Erwin Smith, 16th Commander of the Survey Corps, do you have any last words before your execution?” King Fritz asked.

“My liege, he’s the 13th Commander and the trial has just begun,” one of the nobles next to the king whispered.

“Ah, right. Can someone read the crimes?” King Fritz requested, grabbing a cup in front of him. “And someone bring me something to drink.”

General Zackly stood up, readjusting his glasses as he glanced at a paper.

“Erwin Smith, you stand accused of murder, high treason, kidnapping, assault, and many other charges that I frankly don’t feel like reading,” Zackly sighed, setting the paper down. He ignored the venomous looks of the nobles seated with him. “How do you plead?”

“You mean he sits accused,” Levi muttered under his breath, earning an elbow from his mother. He still caught the tiny smile that formed on Kuchel’s face though.

“Not guilty,” Erwin stated, retaining his confidence and cool attitude.

“Then how do you explain these charges?” Another noble demanded, slamming a hand on the table. “Kidnapping civilians? Beating and murdering a member of the church? Plotting to overthrow his majesty?”

“All lies,” Erwin shook his head. His face remained stoic, though he appeared disheveled with his stubble and unkempt hair. “Those civilians were hired soldiers from the Reeves Company in Trost that attempted to kidnap my soldiers, including Historia Reiss. The Wallist man was among them and was assassinated when he was caught.”

Murmuring spread around the room.

“Lies!” A priest shouted. “None of our members would partake in such a heinous crime.

“Any Survey Corp member present that day would vouch for this.”

“Even if there were any that could be present, none of us would take the word of a treacherous lot,” a noble at the table smugly replied.

“Convenient,” Erwin said, killing the man’s sense of satisfaction.

Levi stood up, glaring at the nobles. “I was there. Those kidnappers tried to take members of my squad. Before we could question them a lone soldier killed them.”

Levi’s statement roused the crowd. The murmuring grew and intense discussion echoed around the room until a very loud priest shouted.

“What? Why is there a member of the Survey Corps here?”

“I thought they were all arrested. Someone seize him!” Another noble man ordered.

An icy stare from Kuchel quieted the man.

“Anyone who tries to approach will be arrested by the Central Military Police. He’s under my custody,” Kuchel warned.

Fear silenced most of the conversations.

“And who was this so-called assassin?” Commander Pixis asked. “Were you able to apprehend them?”

“We did not,” Levi said. His admission elicited a few smiles from the nobles. “We were able to determine they were a member of the Central Military Police, however.”

His mom glanced over at him.

“How’s that?” Commander Dok spoke next, leaning back in his chair. He glanced Kuchel but didn’t let his eyes linger.

“The assassin had specially designed anti-personnel gear. It’s similar to what the Survey Corps uses for attacking titans but instead of sword it uses guns. This equipment is only available to the Central Military Police. The caliber of the bullets fired is identical to the ones that killed the kidnappers.” Erwin said. “We obtained some of this technology to test against.”

“Impossible,” Kuchel dismissed, standing up. “My men operate only within Mitras. We’ve never been to the Survey Corps headquarters, let alone assassinated civilians or members of the esteemed Church of the Wall. Don’t drag our names through the mud to try and save yourself.”

“Where’s my drink?” King Fritz asked loudly. A servant quickly appeared with a chalice and a bottle of wine.

“Besides those charges, you’re also accused of hiding another traitor to humankind: the armored titan Eren Jaeger. You knowingly harbored one of the two titans that lead to the death of over half of humanity,” a noble crossed his arms.

“We didn’t know about Eren’s powers or history and promptly tried to retrieve after he escaped from the corps.”

“And yet you retain his childhood friend? What of Armin Arlert? He’s one of the few members of the Survey Corps that has yet to be detained.”

“Armin has proved himself an ally of humanity and refused to escape with Eren when he had every reason to escape. He was also one of the aforementioned kidnapping victims. I believe someone was trying to silence him and the truth of what happened in Shinganshina.”

“And what of the technology you’ve hidden? And the slew of soldiers with no identifiable background? After Eren Jaeger’s betrayal we investigated the other soldiers of Levi squad and some have no traceable history or are questionable at best,” Nile stated, leaning forward. “No squad is composed of so many refugees. Between the three survivors of Shinganshina, the victims of Ragako and her neighboring villages, and this unnamed mountain village I believe only three or four of those cadets are actually accounted for.”

“We took on the recruits like any military division from the trainers. That squad came from Commander Keith Shadis,” Erwin frowned.

“Funny you should mention him,” Kuchel rejoined the conversation. “We spoke with him and he provided some interesting information on most of your soldiers. My favorite was the story of the so-called Hero of Utgard. The records show he died in Trost and then he suddenly reappeared.”

“Ah, so you do leave the capital,” Erwin noted, stunning Kuchel for a second. “Jean Kirschtein was undercover for several years for the Survey Corps. His investigations were crucial in identifying the truth of the government.”

“Is the trial over yet? I’d like to go take my afternoon nap,” King Fritz whispered loudly to a noble next him.

“Not yet, you idi- I mean your majesty,” the exasperated noble shook his head. “And what information did you discover, Erwin?”

Erwin looked directly at Rod Reiss.

“That the Reiss family is the true royal family and that Rod Reiss is the real king of the walls,” Erwin said.

The murmuring escalated into loud discussion and raucous shouting.

“Order! Order in front of his majesty!” A noble hushed the voices. “So you admit to treason then?”

“Not treason, the truth. This charade is pitiable and I’ve heard the newspapers are reporting the same.”

“How dare you insult this trial?!” An angry noble stood up.

The reaction from the room was swift, as shouting erupted from all areas of the spectator seats.

“Please don’t bring my innocent family into your treason. You’ve done enough taking my daughter from me,” Rod Reiss accused Erwin.

“Took her from you? You’re the one who arranged for her training. You’re the one who arranged for extra supplies for the Survey Corps in exchange for keeping her from the front lines. And you’re the one who arranged for her repeated kidnappings by the Central Military Police.”

“Lies!” Rod denied.

Frieda stared sullenly at her father, watching the sweat form on his brow.

“Is that how you justify using the Military Police to remove your brother from power, my liege?” Erwin asked, causing Rod Reiss’ face to whiten. “We learned about the skirmish that took place on your lands and the little civil war within the Central Military Police that allowed Captain Ackerman to take power. I must say, brilliant idea to fight one Ackerman with another.”

Kuchel swallowed a lump in her throat, ignoring the questionable look Levi gave her.

Before the room could descend further into ruckus, the doors slammed open as a Garrison soldier ran in. The sudden slam of the doors silenced most. She sprinted forward shouting, “Wall Rose has fallen! Wall Rose has fallen!”

Her words quieted the remainder of the room, instead creating tension.

“What happened?” Commander Dok asked, quickly rising from his seat.

“The Beast titan appeared and broke the gate at Chlorba. Titans are flooding in as citizens are trying to escape,” she informed him.

“Secure an evacuation route to the inner cities!” Commander Pixis ordered, rising from his seat.

“No!” A noble at the table shouted, earning stunned looks from those in the room. “We barely had supplies when the refugees from Wall Maria flooded in. Bar the gates.”

“Are you mad? Those civilians need our help,” Pastor Nick shouted from the audience. “That’s over half of humanity that will die!”

“And risk starving our remaining citizens? We don’t want a war or more poverty within Sina,” the man callously defended himself.

An angered Nile Dok slammed his fist on the table. “I will not stand by and watch our citizens die due to your unfounded fears!”

“I’m afraid I must agree with Commander Dok on this matter,” Dot Pixis stated.

“Is it time to eat?” King Fritz wondered, earning another groan from a noble.

“Wake up, you idiot! Titans are marching on us as we speak,” the noble knocked the king’s chalice out of his hand. “Tell them to lock the gates!”

King Fritz looked over to Rod Reiss. “Should we lock the gates, sir?”

The nobles all quieted, shock written on their faces. Murmuring emerged again from the spectators as Erwin smiled.

One of Kuchel’s soldiers bent down and started whispering in her ear.

“W-Why are you asking him?” Someone from the audience finally spoke up.

“Because he’s-” King Fritz started to reply until a servant placed a hand over his mouth.

“The king is sleepy,” another noble declared. “General Zackly please conclude this trial.”

“It’s all a lie,” Kuchel Ackerman stated loudly, silencing the room. A cool smile came to her face as she stared at the two military commanders. “It’s a ploy from Commander Pixis. There’s been no breach of the walls. There are no titans. It was merely a treacherous ruse to get an angry response from the Assembly.”

The nobles and spectators looked at Commander Pixis and Commander Dok.

“Is this true, Dot?” Commander Dok asked.

Commander Pixis gave a gleeful smile as he twisted the edge of his mustache.

“Yes, because I wanted to see the true colors of the nobles when faced with the possibility of losing half of humanity. If they had valued the lives of those they rule I would’ve turned myself in for treason. They, however, failed. Now everyone present sees this government for what it really is.”

Pastor Nick and those in his section turned to leave the room, all fuming at the disgraceful display in front of them.

“Thanks for your display, Commander Pixis,” General Zackly stated. “I’ve already reached my decision.”

\---

Masses of people crowded the central plaza of Mitras, all shouting different chants but each one wondering about the outcome of the trial. While only a handful of the masses demanded the truth and the freedom of the Survey Corp’s leader, it was enough to give hope and drive to the two Survey Corps squads in the crowds.

Kirschtein and Bodt Squads pushed their way forward to the gallows, trying to get as close as possible. Despite their best efforts, too many people had huddled near the front to see the fate of Erwin Smith. 

A pair of loud bells rang from the castle, announcing the conclusion of the trial. The deep ringing quelled all the noise and most people’s attempts to push forward. Even the two squads stopped their attempts to get closer to the gallows, instead focusing on trying to see who emerged from the castle. They all held their breaths when the gates opened.

Numerous soldiers exited the castle, surrounding a group of men. They marched down the cleared path from the castle to the gallows, the only raised platform in the plaza. As the soldiers neared their intended destination, the ones in the front parted to the side to reveal three men in the center. Erwin Smith, Dot Pixis, and Nile Dok filed towards the gallows, their hands bound behind their backs.

Jean’s face paled and his stomach dropped at the sight.

The three military leaders stepped up to the gallows with a Wallist priest and two Military Police soldiers. One of the soldiers carried some rope and started working on two other nooses while his partner held the three division leaders at gunpoint.

“On the accounts of assault, kidnapping, murder, and high treason, the royal government of humanity with the blessing of the three Goddesses Maria, Rose, and Sina sentence Commanders Erwin Smith, Nile Dok, and Dot Pixis to death for their roles in trying to overthrow his majesty King Fritz,” The Wallist priest declared. “Do you have any last words before you face divine judgement for your heinous crimes?”

“This trial was a farce and King Fritz himself admitted he was a false king!” Nile Dok shouted, ignoring the scornful expression of the priest.

“Can someone open my breast pocket and retrieve my flask? It’s some expensive liquor that I’d like to taste before my death,” Dot requested. Nile shot him a look of disbelief as the soldier with the gun retrieved the flask as requested. He opened it and placed it in commander’s mouth while Erwin stared at the crowds.

“Commander Dok speaks the truth. Even though we may die here today, never stop fighting for the truth and aiming beyond these walls. We aren’t protected by these walls that are created from the very titans that eat us. They are a prison that we must break free of!”

“That’s quite enough!” The Wallist priest announced. “As is customary, I shall read the last rites of these men, no matter how sinful or righteous they may be.”

The priest stepped towards the center of the gallows, dropping a piece of parchment that he carried while the last noose was finished. His arms hung loosely at his side as he surveyed the people present. The three commanders placed their heads in the nooses while the soldiers tightened them.

What began as the lone priest on the gallows speaking, soon turned into an eerie echo across the crowds and city. Countless other priests joined in on his speech.

“To the pitiable men of Ymir, as spoken by his majesty the first king of the walls, our sin is heavy. We are born of sin, live in its shadow, and die by its hand. Avarice, lust, wrath, all taint men’s feeble hearts, guiding them to their fate. Our history is of bloodlust and anguish, pain and petty squabbles. May the Goddesses find it in their hearts to forgive your sins… for we cannot,” the priest announced, raising his arms in the air. His long sleeves fell down, revealing two handguns. He turned the two soldiers on the platform, shooting them before they could react. Their bodies fell limply to the ground.

“For too long we’ve walked in sin’s shadow, and in it’s shadow we’ll always remain. Our history is proof of this never ending cycle, so it’s our duty to purge this wickedness from the walls. This city is a corrupt husk, and through Ymir’s wrath we shall cleanse it. Only those chosen by the one true Goddess herself shall live to see this dream through to fruition!”

With the man’s last declaration, he faced the masses. A wicked grin formed on his face until he felt a force from behind him. He fell forward, and off the platform onto the stones below. A sickening thud could be heard by those near the platform, as blood pooled around the priest’s body. Above, Erwin stood with his foot extended forward, his neck still in the noose.

Around the city and on top the walls clouds of steam and lightning exploded. Some explosions were louder than others, but that detail was missed by the masses. For it was the sight of titans, falling from the walls, appearing on the side streets that lead to the plaza, and in the crowds that caught everyone’s attention. Titans were inside the capital, inside Wall Sina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy New Years and Happy trial. That's probably the first section f the story where I haven't explicitly focused on either Marco or Jean but it was too important to pass up writing and contains a lot of important information for the plot going forward. It also deviated from the manga so I wanted to showcase it so I hope people liked it. This is most definitely a calm before the storm chapter so be prepared for a lot of action coming up and I'll try to make it easy to follow.
> 
> I also wanted to take a moment to thank the people who've been following this for a while a now. It's a new year and while it's not been exactly a year since I started posting it's been quite a while. Over 80k words, 50 subscribers for this story, and enough comments to make me happy. Thanks!
> 
> As always, thanks for continuing to read. All comments, kudos, reblogs, and likes are appreciated as I love feedback. Seeing your theories are always fun and its curious to see what people will think will happen based on new details.


	16. The One True Goddess, Ymir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and the Survey Corps respond to sudden appearance of titans in the capital while Levi and his mom confront the Wallist priests who threaten the city. And Marco kicks ass. Again.

“You made the correct decision, Zackley,” a noble commented, raising a glass of wine. “Come, everyone. Let us toast to the preservation of the social order!”

The other nobles who sat on the panel that judged Erwin raised their glasses, sitting at a round table in the throne room. Upon the throne King Fritz napped, a half-drunk chalice precariously positioned on the arm rest. Kuchel Ackerman and Rod Reiss sat opposite the nobles. While Rod feasted and toasted with the others, Kuchel placed her chin in her hand.

“Brilliant trial!” Another declared, taking a large gulp. Red liquid dripped down his cheeks as he drank more than he could handle.

“Right, brilliant,” Kuchel muttered under her breath.

Rod shot her a stern glare but it had little impact.

“This does leave us with a new predicament. We now have two branches without leaders. What are we going to do with the Garrison and Military Police?”

“The Garrison I’m sure we can find some schmuck who will play more nicely than Pixis,” someone suggested. “As for the Military Police, I believe we already have a capable leader amongst us. What do you say Captain Ackerman? Dare I say, Commander Kuchel Ackerman?”

All eyes fell on the captain of the central Military Police. The sudden attention stirred Kuchel, forcing her to straighten up. She surveyed the nobles but shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t believe they’d accept an outsider as their new leader,” Kuchel stated as she stood up. “Besides, I have no interest in leading a division of the military. I’ve done my job and I intend to resign once today’s events are over.”

Her announcement garnered a few gasps, sapping the jubilation form the air.

“Y-you can’t. Who’d run the Central Division? Who would take care of the traitors when the time called for it?”

Giving another shrug, Kuchel turned to leave. “Not my problem. I did as I was told and I’ve done my job and gotten my reward. Remember your part of the deal. I’ll disappear with my son and no one is to bother us ever again.”

“Preposterous, you can’t walk away from this! You’re our dog and you’ll do as you’re told!”

That insinuation halted Kuchel’s stride. A sharp smile cut across her face as she turned to face the nobles. Fear and anger were written plain as day in their demeanor.

“I’m no dog and I have no master. I had an agreement with the King of the Walls and I’ve fulfilled my part. Or am I missing something, Rod?”

Rod Reiss shook his head. “You’ve done your part and I thank you for your duty. There are plenty of candidates to fulfill the roles we need. You’re dismissed.”

Shooting the nobles one last icy stare, Kuchel turned away and marched out with her head held high.

She made a beeline for her room, ready to pack her belongings and retrieve her son. Being able to taste the food of the wealthy and the walk among had long lost its luster. Her time with them solidified her opinion that the nobles were as rotten as any poor person. Fancy clothes and perfume disguised their appearances but gilded chains and jewels couldn’t hide their ugly personalities.

On her way back to her quarters, a familiar voice carried down the hallway.

“…And you shall receive your payment then. I shall make haste once I’ve reached my daughter and I can confirm you’ve upheld your end of the bargain,” Pastor Nick said, his voice full of glee.

“Of course. Be sure to bring the payment or I’ll come for you. I don’t I need to explain to you what that entails,” another deep voice replied.

“Until then, Zeke.”

Kuchel continued around the corner, seeing Pastor Nick talking with a tall, bearded blond man. They turned to face her as she continued to walk past them, Zeke’s glasses reflecting the sunlight.

“Until then, Father,” Zeke said, walking in the opposite direction of Kuchel.

Nick reached out, placing a hand on Kuchel’s shoulder.

“Magnificent work, Captain Ackerman. The goddesses smile upon your tenacity. Are you staying for the celebrations?” He wondered.

Kuchel brushed his hand off her shoulder.

“No. I intend to grab my son and leave. I’ve got all I want,” she answered. “Being around such… men takes its toll. I’m done.”

“Ah, such honesty. Well, I wish you luck on your journey,” Pastor Nick turned to follow in Zeke’s steps. “May the goddesses have mercy upon your soul.”

Kuchel paused at that farewell, glancing back at the holy man. His necklace clattered with every step. Shaking her head, Kuchel ignored the odd words in favor of returning to her room. That conversation played in her head for a few moments until she began to think of where to relocate with Levi. Perhaps a village or somewhere she could find work and he could spread his wings. Maybe a return to familiarity in the Underground city. They had options.

When she reached her room, she opened the door to find her son staring out the window overlooking the plaza.

“Watching your beloved Commander move on from this world?” She wondered, a hit of amusement in her voice.

Levi turned back, his teeth gritted.

“What did you do?” He asked, anger simmering in his question.

Kuchel quirked an eyebrow. “You mean besides get Erwin killed?”

“No, the titans! How did you get titans in the city?” Levi pointed out to the plaza.

Kuchel’s cocky expression fell. She ran over to the window to see titans appearing in steam clouds around the square. She squinted and saw only the three military commanders on the platform, noosed but unhung.

“I did nothing! Is this another scheme of that commander of yours? Is he trying to take everyone down with him?” She glared back at Levi.

“Hell no! We would never endanger civilians for personal gain, that’s your shtick,” Levi crossed his arms.

He ran over to the bed and fished a hand underneath it.

“Why would we want to unleash titans in the capital when we’re here?” Kuchel rolled her eyes.

Levi pulled out a knife out. “I don’t know. You’re the group that hails that senile old fool as a king so intelligence isn’t your strong suit.”

“And where do you think you’re going, young man?” Kuchel crossed her arms as Levi tried to walk past her. She stepped in his way, blocking his path.

“To get my commander,” Levi replied, offering his mom a dull stare.

“Like hell you are,” Kuchel glared at her son. “Going out to fight titans with a knife is suicide.”

Before their argument could escalate, the door to their room flew open to reveal several members of the church of the walls.

“By the orders of the one true goddess herself, you both are sentenced to death,” a priest announced to the two.

Kuchel glanced behind her, noting the number of men and the knives they held. With a heavy sigh she turned around and stood next to her son.

“Bringing knives to an Ackerman fight?” Kuchel shook her head. “Come on, Levi. Mommy needs help proving a point.”

“You need help?” Levi scoffed at the thought.

His mom chuckled at the notion. “No I don’t. But I thought I’d offer.”

\---

A terrified silence fell upon the capital as the steam from the explosions shrouded the area. The hissing air provided the only sound during the brief quiet. Citizens and soldiers alike gaped at the sudden appearance of the titans. It took the unmistakable, earth-shaking footsteps of the titans to rouse everyone from their shock. Panic spread around the capital.

Jean’s legs remained planted on the ground, gluing him in place as his mind raced through a million thoughts. Sure, he prepared himself for a variety of situations but none accounted for those monsters making it in this far. The possibilities of Erwin’s death, the dissolution of the Survey Corps, fighting the Central MP… but titans in the capital? A chill ran down his spine and through his body, icing the blood in his veins. The distinct crunch of bones jolted Jean’s senses; the first victim of titans in Mitras.

He glanced at the platform to see Erwin and the other two commanders observing the scene before them. While clearly shocked, the look of determination remained in etched in Erwin’s face.

“Soldiers, protect the civilians!” Erwin shouted, his cold eyes falling on Jean and Marco’s squad. “Slay the titans!”

“Kirschtein squad, clear the plaza!” Jean ordered, unclasping his cloak and letting it fall to the ground. “Bodt Squad take the titans to the right, we have the left!”

Seeing the nearest titan, Jean launched a hook into its backside and propelled himself to complete his task. He reached the nape of it its neck in time to see the damned creature bite down on another civilian. With practiced ease he dispatched the titan, landing on its head as it fell to the ground.

From his new position Jean could see the hysteria around the plaza. People tried to run in every direction but titans dotted their paths no matter where they went. While at least a dozen titans littered the plaza, down each of the streets Jean could make out more lumbering towards the center of the capital. They were trapped.

“P-P-Protect the citizens!” A scared Garrison soldier shouted.

Several of the patrols around the capital attempted to rise to the occasion and confront some of the titans. Jean only watched briefly as those groups were crushed by their own fear or indecision. He tore his gaze away as the very threat they were trained to confront merely stepped on them.

Jean slid down the titan as its corpse started to evaporate, running to the nearest titan. He arrived to see the rest of his squad working together to distract it and set up a shot for Bertl. Reiner and Historia ran along the ground as Bertl tried to find a good shot to fly forward. Being on the ground was the worst possible position for 3DMG but the former Levi squad could make due. Rather than help his squad, Jean moved onto the next titan.

“Get away from me you-” a soldier shouted, cut off by a loud crunch.

Jean glanced around to see a titan on its hands and knees chewing on a fresh torso, a blood-stained rose emblem hanging from the man’s jacket. A group of dead bodies laid scattered about the titan’s feet.

“That was my friend you monster!” Another squad came charging in. Jean observed as the titan immediately took notice of the loud group. With an agility unlike the other smaller titans, this one sprung at the group. The sudden jump caught them off guard and only a few managed to dodge as the beast tramped over most the Garrison soldiers.

“Damn aberrant,” Jean muttered, studying the titan as it tore apart the remainder of the squad. This one seemed to rely more on speed than intelligence. Its giant beady eye stared at Jean for a moment, unnerving the veteran.

A loud wail pierced the commotion of battle. The unmistakable cry of a baby caught both Jean’s and the titan’s attention. Even in the pandemonium other citizens paused upon hearing the loud cry. Across a small clearing on the plaza another hooded Garrison soldier stood as the wailing emerged around them.

Did a soldier save a child?

Jean had little time to wonder as the titan moved to spring forward once more. Jean managed to fire an anchor into the aberrant’s thigh and catapult along for the ride. The Garrison solider shot away in time as the titan landed; the wailing moved with the soldier.

Using the time the titan needed to readjust itself, Jean tightened his grip on his blades and spun to attack its heel.

The aberrant didn’t realize Jean severed the tendons on its Achilles heel until it moved to spring forward again but instead fell on its face. When it collapsed, Jean seized the opportunity to go for its neck. A giant hand swatted for him as he flew forward. Using the skill he’d honed over the years, Jean maneuvered his body and flipped over the incoming hand. Not letting the titan have any more chances to respond, Jean went into a spinning motion and sliced through the nape of its neck. The body crumpled to the ground as Jean landed next to it.

“Impressive move, Jean,” the hooded Garrison soldier commented as the wailing died down. The clearly female voice stunned Jean.

“Petra, what are you doing here?!” Jean replied, his eyes widening.

Petra dropped her hood and smiled. She also pulled back her cloak to reveal her black-haired baby strapped to her chest.

“We’re on a mission remember?” She crossed her arms.

“But why did you bring your son?” Jean’s mouth fell open.

“I asked her the same thing!” Another Garrison-cloaked man approached. Oluo lowered his hood and shook his head. “But we couldn’t risk our child being kidnapped by the MP.”

“I’d say you’re being paranoid but I can’t blame you,” another two hooded soldiers stated. Gunther and Eld revealed themselves clad in 3DMG.

“What are you guys doing here?” Jean asked, the commotion around them seemingly dying down.

He surveyed the area to see most of the titans in the square successfully slain.

“Same as you, rescuing Erwin and ensuring the survival of the Survey Corps,” Eld informed him.

Jean glanced back to the platform to see Erwin surrounded by another group of hooded figures. His pulse started pounding until he saw the nooses being cut down.

“But who?”

“Erwin has his own squad too. Don’t think we’ve all been sitting idly by for this and just depending on your group. There may only be a few of us but we’re here to fight to the bitter end,” Gunther clapped a hand on Jean’s shoulder.

“I appreciate the thought but I’d rather live to raise my son. Now we must prepare for the next wave,” Oluo pointed down the various streets leading to the plaza. Citizens and soldiers alike raced into the plaza as the other titans followed.

“Jean!” Several voices shouted, followed by the sounds of running footsteps.

Jean turned to see his squad joining back up with him.

“Good work, you’re all still alive,” Jean complimented them.

“I didn’t make it this far to become titan chow in the capital,” Reiner smirked. His smirk dropped when he saw the former Levi squad members. “Eld, Oluo, Gunther, and Petra! And your baby?”

“More on that later, we have to prepare for the remaining titans. Erwin’s squad rescued him so our original goal is complete,” Jean said, looking back at the platform again.

Erwin stared down the streets, continuing to observe the action ahead of him.

“Where did they even come from?” Oluo wondered. “I heard creepy chanting and then multiple explosions went off.”

“Safe to assume it was whoever did the chanting which means the Wallists,” Jean crossed his arms.

“But why? Where did they did get this ability?” Historia frowned as she stared at all the corpses in the plaza.

“Who knows but for now we fight back and survive,” Jean ordered, sheathing his blades.

Several loud gunshots went off from the platform, drawing everyone’s attention to the scaffold where the three military commanders stood. Between the three commanders stood a smaller woman: Frieda Reiss.

“Soldiers, civilians, listen to me! Retreat to the plaza! Every able bodied soldiers post by the streets leading into the plaza and defend this area no matter the cost!” Frieda yelled, surprising Jean with her volume. The heir to the Reiss household had quite a pair of lungs.

“You heard the Queen!” Commander Pixis followed up. “Garrison escort the civilians into the plaza!”

“Survey Corps, clear the main street to the gate and the two adjacent streets,” Erwin ordered.

“Military Police guard the remaining streets. Don’t let a single titan through!” Nile pointed to the other four streets.

Bodt squad ran over towards Jean’s group.

“Jean, Eld! Who has what streets?” Marco asked while his squad recovered their breaths, everyone thankfully still alive.

“My group will take the main street. You two handle the side streets,” Jean stated, glancing at the road ahead of the plaza.

“Excuse me? We’ll take the main street and your group can hold the side streets,” Eld disagreed, frowning at the idea of the side street. “We want the most skilled group clearing the biggest street.”

“With all due respect, that isn’t your group. Between retirement and the baby either Marco or my squad is best suited for that,” Jean explained, crossing his arms over his chest. “And I’m saying my group because we have a titan that can be used to fight against them and the most titans will come down the road.”

On cue, multiple titan roars echoed around the plaza.

“There’s no time to argue. Let’s do as Jean says and just protect the streets,” Marco gestured for his group to take one of the adjacent streets. Armin, Connie, and Sasha sprinted after Marco.

“Fine, good luck Kirschtein squad,” Eld nodded before running off towards the other street.

Jean and his group took off towards the main street.

“Our goal is to slay as many titans as we can while keeping the civilians safe. Until the main street is cleared of civilians we stick to the skies and protect them. Once the streets are clear, I want Reiner to become a titan and take out who he can while we guard him from the rear,” Jean informed his group.

“Yes, sir!” they replied.

\---

“Speak,” Kuchel demanded, twisting the knife in the Wallist’s shoulder. The man let out a cry of pain as blood spurted from the wound. “I’ve already carved all your little friends up and my patience is running thin.”

“As if… I’d explain myself… to a blight like you,” the man answered through labored breaths.

Captain Ackerman rolled her eyes and grabbed the man’s throat. She pinned him in place as she removed the knife and plunged it back into his other shoulder. His strangled screams were barely audible thanks to Kuchel’s strong grasp.

“I don’t know if that was an insult or not but I’ll try again. Why are Nick’s men attacking me? We had a deal,” Kuchel interrogated him, letting go of her victim’s throat.

“A deal?” The man gasped for air. “As if a holy man would deal with devils. The only deal we need gave us the power to remove the sinful so the one true goddess could save the masses.”

A bloody knife flew into the wooden wall next to the man’s head.

“The hell are you on about? Speak like a normal person,” Levi said, his voice icy.

“Plebeians,” the Wallist cursed. “We used you. We worked with another who gave us the power remove those corrupt buffoons in power as well as the masses who worship the very ground they walk on. The one true goddess Ymir will saves those deemed worthy. And you two are not worthy.”

“Funny, I was thinking the same about you,” Kuchel smiled, pulling the knife back out and stabbing the man through the sternum and pinning him to the wall. “I’m guessing power pertains to those titans outside.”

Kuchel took another bloody blade from the wall and wiped it off on her pants, quickly sheathing it. She walked to the door, kicking a body slumped in front of it out of the way. She glanced back to see her son giving her a questioning look.

“And where are you going?” Levi asked.

“To kill a priest. No one attempts to kill my son and gets away with it. Come along,” Kuchel said.

Levi shook his head as he grabbed a pair of blades. “I can’t. I have a commander to report to.”

“Honey, you’re free of that man. He’s probably titan food by now.”

Levi ran back to the window, shaking his head at the sight below. “Nope, still hanging around and giving orders it seems. And Ms. Reiss is with him.”

Kuchel walked over to her son, looking around the plaza. No titans remained in the plaza, genuinely surprising her. In fact, people were streaming into the plaza while soldiers fought off in the distance. 

“Well, looks like your comrades did good work. Fine, you can go to your precious commander but we still have a deal. You’ll return to my side when this conflict settles.”

“And if I refuse?”

Kuchel shrugged and gave a coy smile.

“I recall the last order the king gave was to execute all members of the Survey Corps. I might have to follow through after all, but maybe all that bloodshed could be spared if you remain a good boy.”

Levi clenched his fists, his knuckles whitening from the pressure. Rather than acknowledge his mother, he left the room in silence and made his way down the hall.

Kuchel on the other hand frowned at the sight before her.

“No one will take you away from me again.”

\---

Tiles cracked underneath Jean’s weight as he landed on a roof. Taking a moment to recover his breath, he discarded his blades while he observed the street. He looked over his shoulder and saw the Attack titan punching a smaller titan into a nearby building as Historia and Bertl buzzed around him. His gut sunk at the thought of leaving them to the titans around them but they could handle themselves. Instead Jean flew ahead to cull the incoming titans. The steam clouds rising on the main street were a testament to his success, even if he had almost wandered all the way to the gate.

As Jean equipped a new set of blades, he faced forward to survey the rest of the battlefield. Most of the titans were slayed yet a few stragglers remained near the end of the street. The fact the titans didn’t move any closer unsettled Jean. Their beady eyes stared back but they made no movement, huddling together.

Amidst the rumblings of the titans and soldiers, a familiar clanging reached Jean’s ear. His eyes bounced around the streets below until he saw a man hiding in an alleyway, cautiously peering around a corner. The heavy metal chains hanging around his neck indicated his faith, stoking the anger in Jean’s body. No one besides the Wallists wore anything that gaudy. With a few quiet steps, Jean launched an anchor across the street and swung down into the alley, catching the man off-guard.

“The hell are you guys doing?!” Jean demanded, raising the sharp edge of his blade to the man’s throat. When Jean expected fear, the man smirked. Jean’s skin crawled at the creepy reaction.

“We’re doing the goddess’s work,” he answered, pressing his neck against Jean’s sword. “We’re a cowardly and sinful lot. The time has come for us Eldians to move beyond that and reclaim our heritage. The chosen must escape these walls!”

Narrowing his eyes, Jean pressed the man for more information. “By slaughtering the people with titans? That makes no sense.”

“Because you’re blinded by your own hubris! The people must know the truth of the royals and their history. They must learn though blood and death what forged our ancestors. And with the goddess on our side once more, now we have the means to contain the titans. They are the key to reclaiming our heritage!”

“Your goddess? What about the other two?”

A piercing whistle cut through the sounds of battle and drew Jean’s attention to the sky.

“There is only the one true goddess. Ymir!” The man declared, pushing his neck even harder against the blade. Blood started dripping down Jean’s weapon, bringing a crazed smile to the man’s face. “And you’re not among the chosen.”

An explosion blasted Jean into the streets, sending him rolling over stone and rubble. His blades clattered on the ground beside him. The heat of the blast singed his right hand and tattered his shirtmbut the sounds of the building in front of him crumbling drew his attention. The debris shifted and from it emerged a new titan, bigger than the ones Jean slayed earlier. Its giant eyes gazed around the streets until it saw Jean in front of him.

Rather than let shock grip him, Jean grabbed his a blade and aimed for the nearest building. He zipped out as the titan tried to hunch over him. His other blade swung loosely behind him, almost cutting his thigh and calf as he landed. Jean barely had any time to grab his other blade when he felt the building collapsing under him.

“What the hell?” Jean shouted while he swung to another building. He glanced behind him and saw another titan emerge from the rubble. Rather than try to fight the two new titan, he flew back towards his squad to put some distance between him and the new titans. However, he found himself flying into another pair of new titans. “Of course there’s another wave.”

Jean stopped and surveyed the rest of the streets. From what he could see, more explosions dotted the city and the earthshaking increased. He cursed his luck and gripped his blades. Instead of cowering at the gigantic creatures before him, he ran along the roof to the meet the two between him and his squad.

He ran until he was in arm’s reach of the first one. He stopped and waited for the predictable creature. Right as it grasped for him, Jean used his 3DMG to fly directly at its face. He flew past the titan’s head and then propelled himself back at the creature’s neck, slicing it. He them fired a shot into the tower next to the other titan and pulled himself across to the other titan’s nape, finishing it off.

Jean’s anchor allowed him to stand on the side of the building while he looked for the other titans. He saw one of the newer, taller titans sprinting at him with arms outstretched while the other lumbered behind him with a swarm of the smaller titans; the stragglers from the first wave.

“Bring it on,” Jean mumbled, looking for his next launching point. To his shock, the faster titan showed no signs of slowing as it approached him. Jean flew back across the street as the titan crashed into the tower. Jean glanced back and almost peed his pants. The titan was already behind him with its giant mouth open and tongue outstretched. He barely had enough time to fire a shot down into the street and miss the creature’s bold attempt to swallow him whole. He landed with a roll.

As the titan slammed through the house, Jean got to his feet and ran back to avoid falling stone and timber. If something knocked him out he was as good as dead. He waited for the cloud of rubble to clear so he could see if any part of the titan was exposed. To his joy he saw an opportunity.

While the titan tried to reposition itself, Jean fired a hook into its waist and spun like a top as he flew upwards. He sliced the titan’s leg as he traveled through the air and ended up in the sky above it. When the creature noticed Jean above him, it shifted its body to try and leap for him again. Not noticing the damage Jean caused, the titan fell when it tried to spring from its injured leg. Seizing the opportunity, Jean flew downwards and cut its nape.

“Eat shit,” Jean cursed loudly, laughing at his luck. He took only a few moments to regain his breath before assaulting the remaining titans. More of them seemed to line up behind the others so Jean prepared himself for the next attack. His hands twitched, ready to launch himself at the newest bunch until a deafening roar stopped him mid-movement. Another titan came barreling down the street, landing a powerful punch on the last remaining large titan. The force sent the creature’s head flying down the road.

Jean’s body loosened as he didn’t expect that. Landing next to him, his other two squad mates heaved heavy breaths.

“There you are,” Bertl placed a hand on Jean’s shoulder. “We thought a titan got you when we weren’t looking.”

“No, not yet,” Jean replied, his adrenaline starting to fade. He could feel the ache in his muscles and the sting of the burn on his hand.

“Please don’t leave us like that again,” Historia requested, landing a soft blow on Jean’s other shoulder.

“What? I wanted to make sure no titans ambushed you guys. Turns out the church members can change into them at will and ambushed me,” Jean frowned. Historia’s face soured at the mention of the Wallists. “The guy mentioned something weird before transforming. He said ‘Ymir is the one true goddess’ or something like that.”

“Oh,” Historia stared at the roof.

“…Does that mean something to you?”

Another roar from Reiner drew the group’s attention but he was already stomping on a smaller titan. He definitely had things under control.

“Ymir… she was raised by the Wallists. She told me they treated her like the reincarnation of the first titan named Ymir, hence the name. When she was old enough to get curious about the world, they tried to shelter her from it. She escaped and never looked back. I don’t know what their beliefs were but she never liked speaking about them so I never brought it up.”

“Well we can process that later. Let’s help Reiner finish up. Kirschtein squad, let’s move!” Jean shouted. His two friends nodded and quickly took off for the fight ahead. Jean motioned to go but hesitated for a moment, his own words startling him for a second. It took him a second to realize sadness welling up inside him and tears forming in his eyes.

Why was he sad?

\---

People keeling over and spilling their insides all over the floor was an old but familiar sight for Kuchel Ackerman. She’d seen it all her adult life between the bar and brothels, though she never expected to find a similar picture in the royal castle. Though to be fair, these men had their bellies cut open so it wasn’t exactly the same. The Wallists moved fast.

Kuchel held her knife loosely as she navigated around the dead guards, soldiers, and holy men. She knew where Nick lodged in the castle and made a beeline for his room. As soon as she found his door, she carefully opened it. This silence would’ve been pleasing in any other situation but it only allowed unease to creep on Kuchel.

“Where are you hiding, Nick?” Kuchel wondered aloud. His bed remained untouched, the wardrobe empty, and the candle on his nightstand unburnt. A swift search showed no signs of him ever being there.

A groan from the hall drew Kuchel out of the room, spotting a man on the ground and crawling towards her. It didn’t take her long to realize it was one of the high nobles celebrating their victory not too long ago.

“Help…” He begged, reaching a hand for Kuchel.

She narrowed her eyes at the pathetic man, finding him shaky yet no signs of any wounds on his body. His once proud eyes now cloudy and white.

“What happened to you?” She asked, making no motions to help him. “Why aren’t you gutted like a pig?”

An unsteady finger pointed towards the window at the end of the hall before falling over, no longer moving. Ragged breaths escaped him, but his body couldn’t drag him any further.

She ran down to the window and blinked in confusion at the sight below her. 

Behind the castle on the ground below stood Pator Nick and the glasses-wearing man from before, next to a titan that laid down on all fours. On its back was a platform and some reins. On the platform were four the other three nobles, king Fritz, and Rod Reiss. All gagged and bound.

Father Nick and the glasses man, Zeke, hopped onto the platform when Kuchel shouted at them.

“Running away you coward?” Kuchel taunted.

Nick and Zeke looked up, a bit surprised to see her.

“You’re still alive? I should’ve known it’d take more than a few men to kill an Ackerman,” Nick shook his head, but the smile betrayed his bemusement.

“What the hell, Nick? Working with titans?”

“All part of a bigger plan that a dog like you knows nothing about.”

Those words struck a chord with Kuchel.

“Dog? What does that make you? The man who sold out two kings now? Two and half if you count Fritz.”

“Please. As if a whore with a penchant for fratricide can judge me,” Nick dismissed with a wave of his hand. “I have plans for our people, bigger than anything you can imagine. But speaking of those kings and nobles that you are so eager to serve, it might be about time for the world to see what monsters they truly are.”

“What are you talking about now, you treacherous zealot?” Kuchel glared.

“Treacherous zealot? My, my, you have expanded your vocabulary since working for Rod,” Nick snickered as he grabbed the reins. His lips curled into a venomous smile. “My one regret is that you can’t see Rod’s face when it happens. When he realizes that boy’s prediction for him is gonna come true. The very thought haunted him but- oh I truly wish you could see his face when he becomes the very beast he fears. But you’re not long for this world.”

With those words the four legged titan leapt away from the castle and onto some nearby houses. Kuchel only took a moment to realize what Nick threatened, her face whitening as she looked back at the groaning noble. He started gurgling when she reacted the only way she knew how: jumping out the window right when a huge steam cloud exploded.

\---

Dull blades glanced off the last titan’s neck, causing Jean to growl. Rather than counter, he opted to land on the ground as Bertl came flying down from the other direction. His teammate slayed the titan before it could reach for Jean. Historia soon joined them at the end of the street, farthest from the plaza. They could see the steam rising from the city but the sounds of screams finally died down.

Jean discarded his blades and wiped the sweat from his brow.

“Great job, team,” Jean spoke.

Historia and Bertl sheathed their weapons.

“Just in time too, I’m out of gas,” Historia checked her equipment before letting out an audible breath.

“Same,” Bertl echoed.

Their victory was short lived as a small group of cloaked figures with 3DMG landed around them, aiming guns at the Survey Corps members. Jean’s stomach dropped at the all too familiar sight.

“Last I recall, our deal was for you guys to remain on the Reiss estate while your leader and comrades were executed,” a female voice reminded Jean and his teammates. The tall figure lowered her head, revealing her identity as the tall woman that followed Kuchel Ackerman’s orders.

Jean squinted for a moment, trying to remember her name. “Aren’t you that fish lady? Tuna?”

“My name is Traute you little shit,” she spat back. “By the authority of the Central Military Police I’m arresting and executing you treasonous lot.”

“Treasonous? We just saved your ass!” Jean glared, his hands reaching for his blades. “We’re killing titans and now you’re gonna kill us?”

“Precisely,” Traute smiled.

“Did Kuchel tell you to do this?” Historia asked.

Traute shrugged. “Not exactly but I’m well within my right as second in command.”

The other hooded figures exchanged glances, silently communicating with each other. Jean and his squad didn’t understand what was going on but they remained in the crosshairs of many guns.

“If you intend to execute a member of the royal family I suggest you get your commander’s approval otherwise more than just our heads will roll,” Historia threatened, her characteristically happy face losing all trace of emotion.

Jean’s eyes widened, not expecting such an outburst from Historia.

The squad of Military Police mumbled amongst themselves until Traute cleared her throat. She gulped as she chose her next words.

“Escort them back to the plaza to face punishment in front of the people. While the princess may need special treatment, the other two can be dealt with swiftly. Especially the foreigner,” Traute ordered, giving Jean the stink eye. “Prisoners, stick your hands in the air as we walk back. Any funny movements and I’ll personally shoot you on the spot.”

Doing as ordered, Jean and his squad raised their arms as they began the long walk back to the square. The sounds of battle echoed around the city, clanging metal and the occasional scream filling the air. Jean kept his eyes open and bouncing around the street as he looked for an out or an escape plan. Their supplies were down an alleyway but they would be shot before they even left main street. Reiner was their other option but he ran off to another street to help Bodt squad. For now all they could do was wait.

Upon reaching the main plaza, the crowds backed away from the central Military Police.

“Citizens! Here stands so-called Hero of Utgard and his squad. By the order of King Fritz, they’ve been sentenced to death for their treason. Take the Reiss girl away,” Traute ordered. Two of her squad went forward and pulled Historia aside.

One member came forward and lowered her hood, revealing dirty blond hair and a smug look. 

“Permission to be the one to execute Jean Kirschtein,” she requested. “He disrespected our captain and I believe he deserves a quick and meaningless death.”

Traute nodded, smiling at the thought. “Granted.”

Hitch grabbed Jean by the collar and forced him to his knees.

Loud murmuring from the crowd provided the ambient noise as Jean’s gulped. This was always a possible outcome, being executed for being part of the Survey Corps. The irony of being killed by the very group he wanted to join in the first place wasn’t lost on him, though he couldn’t recall why he never joined them. Instead of letting his fear show, Jean gave his best scowl and faced the blond girl he briefly recalled from the dinner.

“Any last words, Kirschtein?”

With one last smirk, Jean said, “How’s your nose healing up?”

That question threw caught Hitch off guard. She gave Jean an incredulous look, gritting her teeth as she raised the gun.

Jean stared at the cold, steel barrel. At least it would be over quickly, a small comfort in a world often filled with none.

As Hitch reached for the trigger, the sight of an anchor passing in between the Hitch and Jean caused Jean to fall backwards onto his butt. Hitch’s hand recoiled when the sounds of 3DMG blasting through the air reached her ears, but it was already too late as a pair of blades came spinning down onto the plaza. Sharp steel parted her hand and the gun from her body.

Dark brown eyes glared at Hitch as her shock set in.

“Don’t you dare touch him,” Marco warned, his voice low and venomous. His normally soft and jovial face tightened from anger. Her pained screams didn’t crack Marco’s stern expression.

A titan-sized large arm landed in front of Marco, making Hitch fall back towards her squad. It separated Jean, Marco, and Bertl from the Military Police and the citizens.

Jean traced the arm back up to the Reiner’s Attack titan, bringing relief to Jean’s tired body.

The feeling was brief as church bells started ringing around the city.

Another large explosion rocked the capital, this time from the castle. Stone and steam flew everywhere as a new titan rose from the seat of the government. This titan was taller than any of the previous titans Jean had seen, easily doubling Reiner’s titan in size.

Adding to the confusion were the sounds of horses. Jean glanced behind him to see a small group of horses riding for the plaza with Wallist priests on their back.

“Son of a bitch,” Jean complained, just as Marco offered him a hand. Jean took it, allowing himself to be lifted to his feet. “How many fucking Wallists are there?”

“Too many,” Marco quipped back.

When Jean pulled his hand back, he found blood on it that didn’t evaporate like titan blood. He quickly wiped it off on his formerly white pants. Before thoughts of how to counterattack this new wave of enemies came to mind, Jean pondered the consequences of what threat blood meant.

Marco attacked and seriously injured someone to save his life. In Jean’s gut, he knew that felt wrong but couldn’t understand why. Bu that was a line of thought for after the battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been a while but a busy life coupled with writing action scenes makes writing difficult. I hope it was worth the wait as this lays the foundation for what should be a very exciting next chapter. Lots of fun scenes and reveals planned for that. The question of the titan shifters will be mostly solved so get ready! Also more fun JM to ensue.
> 
> As always, thanks for continuing to read. All comments, kudos, reblogs, and likes are appreciated as I love feedback. If you have any questions or want to directly talk to me I also have my [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22). Until next time!


	17. The Two Female Titans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and the Survey Corps fight back against the Wallist onslaught but the return of a lost comrade and the sudden appearance of two female titans throws a wrench into the defense. And Jean sees a side of Marco he never expected to see.

A cloud of dust and debris trailed the Wallist priests as they rode towards the plaza. Rifles and other weapons strapped to their horses clattered along with the holy men - steel and chains glinting in the sunlight. While no one understood what the riders shouted, their gear indicated it wasn’t a peaceful message.

Jean’s eyes switched between the Wallists and the new titan. Thick legs supported the creature whose shadow covered half the plaza. Despite its imposing size, Jean focused his gaze on the incoming holy men.

“Reiner, charge the Wallists! I’ll provide support,” Jean ordered.

The Attack titan stared at Jean, not moving.

“What about the new titan?” Bertl asked.

“We’re in a plaza full of Survey Corps members, they can handle the titan. Right now we’re the only ones between those lunatics and the people here. We have our orders to defend the plaza. Now go, Reiner!”

Reiner’s titan removed its arm from the ground and sprinted towards the priests, leaving Jean and Marco exposed to the Central Military Police. Hitch knelt, grabbing her amputated arm and cursing loudly. The other squad members stared at Traute as she took in the new threats. When one of the hooded figures pointed a gun at Jean, Traute raised a hand.

“My lady?” the soldier said, surprise in his voice.

“Stay the execution,” she replied.

“B-but they attacked Hitch!”

“Yes but now there’s titans and more Wallists. We’ll settle this afterwards. Spread out and try to find any more of those damn priests. If you spot any of them creeping in plain sight, execute them. Go!” Traute commanded, her squad flying off. She knelt down to help Hitch. Noticing the Survey Corps members around her, she glared at Jean one last time. “Now do your damn duty.”

Not needing her permission, Jean scowled at Traute. He looked over the remainder of Bodt Squad and his squad.

“Anyone with gas and blades will go with me to assist Reiner, the others fetch the supplies. If they keep pressing us with more titans we’re gonna need all the gear we have. Who can back-up Reiner besides me?” Jean asked. The remnants of Levi squad awkwardly glanced between themselves for a moment.

“I can,” Marco offered. “The rest of my team will go fetch the cart and horses.”

Jean initially frowned at the thought of Marco going to attack the titan but set his reservations aside.

“I’ll follow. I have enough gas and blades to at least attack a few,” Connie offered. He looked over his shoulder at Traute and Hitch and sighed.

“Same here,” Armin stated, walking forward and joining the group.

“Let’s move!” Jean shouted.

The second the group left to chase down Reiner, multiple explosions from the horses meant a new swarm of titans for them to combat.

\---

Erwin rubbed his neck, scratching at phantom itches from his noose. Standing upon what should’ve been his execution platform, he surveyed the plaza and the surrounding area. From what his eyes could see his orders had been followed to completion. The main street appeared clear, though no soldiers flew in it. Titans littered a few other streets but their numbers dwindled. Even with weakened forces they still held their ground.

“You live and the world goes to shit. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised,” a stoic voice stated, the wooden steps of the platform creaking under his weight.

Erwin looked back, grinning at Levi.

“And you escaped your mother,” Erwin replied.

Levi shrugged, sheathing his knife. He glanced over his shoulder at the royal palace, shaking his head as he thought about it. “For now. Once the battle ends…”

“We’ll cross that bridge later. For now we must stop the Wallists and put an end to this.”

“Where did they even get the ability to summon titans?” Commander Dok wondered, ignoring the loud gulping coming from Dot Pixis. “Will you stop drinking? We have a crisis at hand!”

Pausing only a moment to shoot Nile a bemused smile, Dot took another large swig.

“What better time to drink?” He countered. Capping his flask, his free hand returned to twisting his mustache. “And wouldn’t it be more accurate to say they become titans?”

“Precisely,” Freida chimed in. “That is a power only those of royal blood should have. If a person is injected with the correct serum they could be forced to transform into a titan, though it’d be a one way transformation.”

Crossing his arms, Erwin processed that information.

“Do you have any siblings aligned with the Wallists?” Nile asked.

Frieda shook her head. “I’m the only one who’s been active with outside groups. My siblings keep to the estate and the family affairs. None of us particularly care for the beliefs of the Wallists considering we know the truth.”

“What about your stolen power?” Erwin posited. “Can someone with the royal power do the same?”

Pressing her lips together, Frieda raised a hand but stopped after a moment.

“I can’t say. We’ve never tested that possibility.”

“So the Wallists have the royal titan? How’d they manage that?”

“The only titan they have is Ymir,” Levi reminded Erwin. “Isn’t she that female titan Kirschtein rambled on about?”

Stepping forward towards the edge of the platform, Erwin scratched the back of his neck.

“Perhaps but we have no proof she ever existed in this world. Nor can we say all his information is accurate. I don’t know if Ymir is this royal titan or what power she has but it’s our best lead. They didn’t start doing this until they received her so our best option is to go recover her.”

Some distant shouting drew caught Erwin’s eye but he gave it little attention as a massive explosion occurred behind him. Tremors shook the plaza, knocking civilians and soldiers over. Black smoke and stone poured outwards, narrowly missing the leaders on the platform. A gigantic titan emerged from the castle. Debris tumbled downwards, while the wind blew the dust away from the creature.

Levi turned to one of Mike’s squad.

“Hand your gear over,” Levi held his hand open.

“But we need to kill-”

“Hand it over, we’ll buy sometime,” Mike ordered his subordinate. As he prepared to leave, he sniffed the air. Scanning the plaza for a moment, Mike and his group ran down the steps towards the new titan.

While Levi donned his gear, Erwin returned to overlooking the crowds when he noticed Reiner’s titan at the opposite end of the street. He watched as Reiner suddenly took off down the street with a few soldiers trailing him.

“Levi, escort Lady Reiss to the church,” Erwin ordered.

“Excuse me?” Levi stopped to give the commander a dull stare. “Maybe you’ve gone blind in your old age but there’s a titan right here.”

“Mike is more than capable of handling it with his squad. What’s most important is to stop these endless waves of titans. Recover Ymir and these constant attacks will stop.”

“And if they don’t?”

Erwin offered Levi a wry smile.

“Then we have a titan back.”

Levi glanced at Frieda, tightening his gear.

“Let’s make haste. The sooner we find her the sooner you can return to your commander,” Frieda said, already descending down the platform.

Giving one last scornful look, Levi followed Frieda.

“Stay safe or I’ll bring you back and kill you myself.”

Remaining silent, Erwin kept his smile as Levi departed. His eyes traced the smaller man’s movements until he mixed into the crowds.

\---

With a loud clang, Jean discarded his last set of blades and leaned against a ruined building. Sinking to his ass, he breathed heavy breaths. Through his exhaustion he barely felt the sting of the burn on his hand. In front of him laid the evaporating corpses of all the titans, including Reiner’s. His squadmate rested on a building across the way while the others panted. Fighting so many titans back to back took its toll.

A creaking wagon caught everyone’s attention. They looked towards the plaza to see Sasha and the others riding horses and drawing the supply cart.

“Oh thank Sasha!” Connie exclaimed.

“Thank Armin. He saved your ass,” Jean scoffed. Between Connie getting grabbed, Armin breaking his last blades saving their bald friend, and himself almost crashing into a titan when he ran out of gas, that battle was way too close for comfort.

Jean rolled his eyes at Connie but a bemused smile betrayed his relief. He remained planted on the ground while the others met the rest of their squad. He closed his eyes for only a moment when he found himself shaken awake.

“Jean!” Marco shouted at him, a panicked expression on his face.

“What?! More titans?!” Jean sprung to his feet, but collapsed back onto the building. His body reeled from the sudden movement.

“No, I thought you were dying,” Marco sighed, placing a hand on his chest.

Jean groaned and carefully steadied himself. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Just tired.”

“Oh thank goodness,” Marco placed a hand on the wall to balance himself. “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Scare you?”

Jean crossed his arms over his chest, not paying attention to the others while they raided the cart. His senses faded, only able to perceive his pounding heart and the small distance between himself and Marco. Unable to meet Marco’s doe-like eyes, Jean focused on the freckles that dusted Marco’s cheeks. When a pink blush began to hide the freckles, he looked to Marco’s lips. He ran a tongue over his own as embarrassment creeped up the back of Jean’s neck. The tips of his ears were on fire.

“Captains, we got everything!” Reiner shouted, jolting Marco and Jean out of their trance.

Both boys faced the cart, seeing the others staring at them.

Marco gulped audibly, shouting back, “Good job. We’re coming.”

Jean nodded, taking deep breaths to calm himself. His body raced like he just finished fighting an aberrant titan. However the sight of his horse Jaeger brought a much needed sense of relief.

While everyone restocked their blades and gas, Jean looked around the streets for any sign of more priests or errant titans. Bodies, blood, collapsed houses, and dust clouds were all he could see. However the gate to the city caught his interest. It remained closed despite the chaos.

“Bertl, Historia, grab some horses and see if you can open the gate. We’re sitting ducks in this city but perhaps we can escape once the dust settles,” Jean ordered.

His two friends did as requested and rode for the gate.

Jean just finished refueling his gear when he found a water skin thrust under his nose, spooking him.

“Drink up,” Marco curtly offered.

Wordlessly, Jean grabbed the water skin and downed it contents, quenching his parched throat. The refreshing feeling was temporary as multiple giant explosions rocked Mitras once more.

Bodt and Kirschtein Squads immediately jumped to their feet. Everyone surveyed the skyline for any nearby titans but they found none near them. On the horizon, four more towering titans walked out of misty shrouds. Unlike the titan that towered over the plaza, the new ones had more variety. All the titans stood higher than Reiner’s titan but some were more compact and beefier than the plaza titan. The oddest one though was an emaciated titan that sat against the back wall. Jean couldn’t make out many details but he could tell it remained still.

Pluming over the rooftops, other smaller clouds signaled the return of smaller titans. After a few seconds the familiar tremors returned, this time accompanied by a smaller set of steps.

“Uh, Jean,” Sasha grabbed his shoulder, pointing on down the street.

Looking where Sasha guided him, Jean’s mouth dropped. His face turned white as civilians from the plaza ran towards them, some with horses ahead of the group.

“What the hell are they doing?” Jean gritted his teeth.

He turned back towards the gate and saw Bertl and Historia already on their way back. When they came within earshot he heard them shouting.

“The gates are stuck!” Bertl yelled.

Clenching a fist, Jean ran over to his horse.

“We need to either stop the crowds or open the gate,” Jean stated. “I’ll try to hold off the people.”

“Careful! We’ll open the gate,” Marco assured Jean.

With a flick of the reins, Jean and Jaeger rode for the oncoming horde. Behind him he heard an explosion and the familiar roar of Reiner’s titan. 

That was one way to try and pry the gates open.

He peeked behind him causing his chest to tighten. Reiner’s titan appeared much smaller than before. His friend was tiring.

Jaeger sprinted towards the crowds but it quickly became apparent that _everyone_ from the plaza rushed towards the gates. Jean brought Jaeger to a halt, unsure of how to stop such a tidal wave of people - even momentarily.

He looked back once more to see how Reiner fared against the gate. The wooden door remained closed as Reiner battered himself against it. The gate shuddered from the impacts, but it seemingly had little effect besides disturbing some dust.

The sound of a hook anchoring into the building caused Jean to flinch. Traute landed nearby, glaring at him.

“The hell are you doing here?” Jean laced his question with a venomous tone.

“Warning you to open the gate. That fucking priest spurred the crowds to run this way by turning all the nobles and shit into those gigantic titans,” Traute cursed.

“Those are the nobles?” Jean briefly surveyed the large, lumbering titans. “We’re already trying to get the gates open but they’re too solid. Reiner is exhausted from fighting off all the smaller titans.”

“Have you tried using the proper mechanism?” Traute wondered, earning a dull stare from Jean.

“We aren’t idiots. The damn thing is stuck,” Jean informed her.

Traute frowned with an equally disdainful expression.

“The Wallists probably jammed the opening mechanism r something. I received word that the weapon stores at the military compounds were blown up as well. They’ve been plotting this for a while.” 

“So we’re going to be stuck between a wall and a stampede. Great.”

Traute faced the crowds, her scorn slowly fading as she observed everyone’s panicked expressions. She took a deep breath and looked back at the gate. Her lips quivered until she bit down on them.

“We have a plan, captain. Get your friends away from the gate. I won’t be responsible for any casualties from this.”

“Huh?” Jean replied but Traute already slapped Jaeger’s ass. The horse took off for the gate as Traute flew to the rooftops. Jean rode forward for a few moments as the stampede of people grew closer. He made it halfway to the gate when he heard several gunshots fire.

Another explosion occurred behind him. When he looked over his shoulder he saw a titan sprinting towards him- a Female titan. His stomach dropped as the pale blond hair triggered a visceral reaction in him. Why did anger and fear course through his veins?

The Female titan was on course to ram the gate with Jean and Jaeger caught in between. Spurring Jaeger on, Jean yelled for the others. “Everyone, get out of the way!” 

When they saw Jean being tailed by a blonde Female titan they looked at each other, puzzled by the new titan. Marco waved his arms in front of him but Jean didn’t understand the meaning.

Jean motioned for them to move but Marco vehemently shook his head.

Reiner’s Attack titan picked up who he could and the others flew away.

Reaching the clearing between the gate and the main street, Jean guided his horse to the side as the Female titan ran by. She crossed her arms in front of itself - forming a layer of crystal forming on them, its head, torso, and shoulders. A deafening collision resulted in a shower of splintered wood and dust.

Jean spurred Jaeger towards the gate, his body swelling with relief as the green hills surrounding the capital came into view. He only had moments to enjoy this sight until he spotted a lone body on the other side of the gate walking into the city. He couldn’t make out too many details other than the fact it was a boy with brown hair and a fierce yet sorrowful expression.

“What’re you doing? Get out of here! We’re trying to evacuate the city!” Jean shouted at the person.

The person’s sad expression gave away to fury as he noticed Jean on the horse.

“Why the fuck are you always the first thing I see?!” The guy shouted. He pulled out a knife, slicing it across his palm. “Why can’t you just leave me alone, Kirschtein?!”

A weak roar from Reiner drew both boys’ attention. The others ran over to Jean, pausing when they saw the angry boy. Everyone’s faces paled upon seeing him. Ultimately, Armin broke the stunned silence.

“Eren?”

\---

Ducking through the various side streets, Frieda swiftly guided Levi through the alleyways of the capital. While Levi’s expression remained stoic, his curiosity betrayed it.

“How do you know how to get around the capital?” Levi questioned, easily keeping pace with the noble woman.

“When you spend time among the poor like I do, you learn a few routes to avoid bad areas,” Frieda replied, her hands holding her dress. She paused to take in her surroundings, briefly glancing at the giant titan nearby the plaza. Her lips trembled but she tore her gaze away and continued.

“Don’t worry about the plaza, Mike’s squad can handle one titan,” Levi informed her.

Shaking her head, Frieda faced ahead.

“It’s not the plaza. That _thing_ came from the castle. My father was there.”

Turning a corner, Levi and Frieda spotted a large church at the end of the street. Unlike the relatively plain looking buildings around it, the home of the Wallists rose above the surrounding poverty like a diamond in the rough.

Six pearlescent spires surrounded the edges of the tall church. Grey stone walls surrounded the main building, connecting all the spires at the base. A dark, wooden gate emblazoned with the faces of the three goddesses blocked passage to the main building. The body of the main building, in the shape of a hexagon, stood as high as the six spires. The corners of the building lined up with the spires. The walls of the building were filled with countless, large windows. On top of the body a cylindrical tower rose high above the spires and capped with a dome. Slits allowed light into the tower. Gold gilded it, the main body, and spires of the church. 

“That’s what the tithes pay for?” Levi wondered.

“That, wall maintenance, and revolution apparently. It truly is a stunning building though,” Frieda stated as she and Levi walked to the gate.

Levi gave it another once over and shrugged. “Looks like a titan’s dildo.”

Frieda stopped to give Levi an unimpressed expression. She turned to face the building. “It is phallic I suppose.”

As the two approached the entrance, the faces of the three goddesses came into view. Unlike the rest of the pristine building, the faces were smashed and defaced with scratches. For any Wallist, such a sight would be heresy of the highest degree. The gates were cracked open enough for them to slip through. They crossed the courtyard and arrived at the main door to the church, wide open for any to enter.

A pained scream caught the pair’s attention.

They peeked inside to see the worship area wasna complete mess. Pews and candelabras were thrown aside in a mess with bodies strewn along the floor. On one side of the church, Wallist members were bound and gagged, scooting as far away from the altar as possible. Another group of unbound Wallists were on their knees at the altar while a preacher gave a sermon to them. Behind the preacher, someone knelt. Chains outstretched their arms to the side and pulled them just above their head.

When the preacher walked behind the kneeling person, Levi recognized the shirtless person as Ymir. A piece of old cloth gagged her mouth and tears streaked her face. Despite her pitiful appearance, the fire in her eyes burned strong. She glared at the preacher and men in front of her, even as the preacher revealed a syringe. He jabbed her back, causing her to shout once more. Her scremas echoed around the church.

“Come forward, brother!” the preacher commanded. One of the kneeling Wallists stood, tentatively approaching the podium. “Are you prepared? Ready to take on the mission of our one true goddesss and guide the Eldians into a new era?”

“The era of freedom of prosperity, paved with the blood and bones of the nonbelievers,” the man replied.

“Then receive the blessing of Ymir.” The man extended an arm, pulling his sleeve back. The priest stepped down from the altar, pricking the man with the syringe and injecting him with the spinal fluid from Ymir. “You will know when you shall receive the call. Until then, join your brothers for the final stage of the plan. The time is almost upon us for the purging of this filthy city. Now go forth!”

“Yes my father.” The man ran forward and towards the exit of the church. When he reached the exit the church, Levi kicked him in the knee and he went tumbling to the ground. “What is the-”

Levi slit the man’s throat with practiced ease. Rushing blood cut off the man’s question.

“Stop this at once!” Frieda shouted as she entered the church with Levi right behind her.

“What do we have here? Rod’s daughter and humanity’s strongest midget?” The preacher greeted the duo.

“By the order of true king of the Walls I order you to cease and desist.”

“True king of the Walls? What kind of king sequesters himself from his destiny and sheepishly hides amongst the commoners. The Reiss name carries no authority in this temple.”

Levi sheathed his knife and drew one of his blades. “Then perhaps you’ll listen to this?”

“Violence begets violence, little one,” the preacher threw his hand forward. His followers jumped to their feet and faced Levi.

“Call me little one more time and that’s another lost limb,” Levi threatened. Now release my soldier and I’ll make your death quick.”

The preacher took a step back, pointing a wrinkled finger at Levi and Frieda.

“Heresy! The goddess belongs to us! Now remove that spec and the princess from this world!”

Levi sighed and raised his blade. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

The Wallist followers charged forward until multiple gunshots rang out in the church. All of the men collapsed dead. The preacher, Levi, and Frieda turned to see a woman at the entrance of the church holding the smoking guns.

“I can’t go anywhere today without someone trying to kill my sweetie,” Kuchel Ackerman stated as she entered the building, limping.

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Levi launched an anchor into the steps of the altar and flew forward. The shocked priest tried to run for Ymir but Levi sliced the back of the man’s legs. The priest crumpled on the steps, an arm outstretched for Ymir.

“Save me, my goddess!” the man begged, but he only found seething hatred in Ymir’s gaze.

Levi stepped between him and Ymir.

“I believe you called me a spec. Does that count as an insult to my size?” Levi rhetorically asked.

“It does,” Frieda answered as she approached the altar.

“You heard the queen,” Levi replied, slashing his at the man’s outstretched arm. He severed the priest’s arm. Before the man could shout in pain, another gunshot fired and hit the priest in the head.

“I think he’s spoken enough for the day,” Kuchel said.

Frieda ran over to the chains binding Ymir, and tried to loosen them. Unfortunately they were bound tightly to her wrists and needed a key.

Levi sheathed his blade and walked over to his subordinate, ripping out her gag.

Ymir coughed loudly as she breathed in fresh air, no longer impeded by the stale cloth.

“Thank you,” Ymir spoke in between breaths.

“Where’s the key?” Frieda asked, but Ymir merely shot her a cold look. “I’m trying to help you here.”

“Who the fuck do you think got me in this situation?” Ymir venomously remarked.

“Me,” Kuchel admitted, stepping up to the altar. She stared at the priest and kicked his head to the side. On a chain around his neck she spotted a key. Reaching down, she pulled the key loose from the dead man and tossed it to Frieda. “Though I misunderstood Nick’s intentions.”

“No shit,” Ymir scoffed. The chains around her wrists, her arms falling limp at her side while she recovered.

“I thought he was like me,” Kuchel explained, staring over at the bound Wallists on the other end of the church. “He told me his child was stolen from him, just like my son. He just wanted her back so he could raise her properly.”

“And you believed that?” Ymir spat back.

“Obviously, otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I didn’t think he’d do this to you. No parent would _ever_ do this to their child if they loved them. I’m gonna kill him.”

“Get in line,” Ymir stated as she got to her feet, her legs wobbly.

“Do you have enough strength to get out of here?” Levi asked.

“I recover fast.”

“Spite does that,” Kuchel commented as she glanced at her leg. Blood drenched her formerly white pants. She fell to her butt and coughed.

“Mom?” Levi asked, concern in his tone.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Kuchel raised a hand. “I came here looking for that priest, hoping to find him and the nobles but I guess he went elsewhere.”

“The nobles? What do you mean?” Frieda wondered.

“That zealot kidnaped your father, the king, and some of the other nobles on the back of a titan on all fours. He tried to kill me in the castle explosion. I’m lucky a few branches and a bush broke my fall.”

“My dad’s still alive?” Frieda’s eyes widened momentarily, glancing at the floor.

“Might be. But I don’t know what their plan is.”

“You missed those assholes by a few minutes. They arrived and gave them some syringes to a glasses-wearing prick,” Ymir informed them.

“What about those guys over there?” Levi pointed to the bound Wallists.

“People who disagreed with Nick. They tried to stop him but you can guess how that ended,” Ymir pointed to the various bodies strewn around the church.

“They won’t mind staying bound a bit longer I hope. I’m willing to bet any priest seen in the street will be torn to shreds right now,” Kuchel predicted. She walked over to Ymir and offered her a cloak. “Something to cover you up my dear.”

Ymir shook her head. “Like I’d ever accept anything from you.”

“You may hate me for what I did, and I don’t expect you to forgive me, but as a mother I cannot allow you to go around undressed. Especially as a direct result of my actions. I’ll help you get your revenge but we need to find Nick in order to do that.”

Before Ymir and Kuchel could argue more, the bells in the spires started ringing. The familiar sounds of explosion echoed across the city.

Levi ran over to one of the bound priests and removed his gag.

“What’s that bastard’s plan?” Levi demanded to know.

“He’s entered the final stage,” the Wallist shuddered, his face pale. “He wants to turn the nobles into titans and watch the people either fall or defeat them. You must defeat them or everyone here will die!”

“No shit,” Levi rolled his eyes. He pulled out his knife and undid the man’s bindings. Passing the knife to him, he also gave some advice. “Remain here until all of this ends. Someone will need to be here to clean up the mess your church caused.”

Nodding, the man started assisting his fellow clergymen.

Offering a shoulder to his mother, Levi and the women left the church to go see the new situation in the city.

“Wait a sec,” Ymir stopped moving. “I got a faster way to get us there.”

\---

“’Min?” Eren asked, his anger subsiding. Relief bubbled into a tiny smile on Eren’s face. “What’re you doing here?”

Armin returned the smile, stepping forward. “You’re alive! I’m helping the Survey Corps. Where’s Mikasa? We could use your help with the battle.”

At the mention of her name, Eren’s eyes fell to the ground. “She’s alive… but why are you with _him_?”

Armin looked at Jean, his smile falling.

“He saved me. A lot,” Armin admitted, rubbing the back of his head. “He’s not the same Jean.”

“Eren, why are you here?” Marco asked, interrupting the happy reunion. His voice lacked it’s usual friendliness. “And why don’t you have Mikasa?”

Eren’s eyes stayed on the ground, leaving a tense silence as he took his time to answer. “’Min, I need my key back from you. I need it to save Mikasa.”

“What going on Eren?” Armin asked, bringing a hand to his chest. He clutched at something through his shirt.

“Just give me the key, please,” Eren pleaded, finally meeting Armin’s unsure gaze. His eyes narrowed and bitterness seeped into his voice. “You owe me that much for what you did to me. Please, I need it to save Mikasa!”

Armin turned chalk white at that last statement. “W-What do you mean?”

“You know _exactly_ what I mean. Give me the key!” Eren extended his hand, but Armin took a few steps back while clutching his chest.

“The hell happened, Jaeger?” Jean reiterated Armin’s earlier question.

“You fucking happened. You ruined everything! Again…” Eren clenched a fist.

“No he didn’t,” Marco disagreed. “You’re the one that ran off with him and Mikasa. Now why are you here suddenly?”

“Because…. Because Zeke is here. He has Mikasa hostage… And I’m supposed to help kill everyone. Otherwise he’ll kill Mikasa. But if I get the key it’ll fix everything.”

More explosions occurred from outside the gate, drawing everyone’s attention. Outside, more smaller titans appeared.

“Wait… no you’re working with the Wallists? You traitor!” Jean accused Eren, who merely glared back at him.

“No I-”

“Don’t blame him, Eren. You need to accept that he’s not the Jean that bullied you,” Marco stated, squinting at Eren.

“You wouldn’t understand, Marco! I have no choice!” Eren shouted, his face pale. Resigning himself to his fate, Eren sighed and held up his bleeding palm. A cloud of steam exploded out from him, nearly blowing everyone back.

Just before the crowds of people reached the gate, they saw the Armored Titan standing by the only exit to the city. Rather than run straight into it, the stampede split in half and ran along the walls.

As the smaller titans tried to make their way into the city, a loud roar from outside the city caught their attention. One by one their heads were caved in and their necks slashed by the female titan as she stepped forward. The Armored titan faced behind itself to see the commotion. Eren didn’t have time to react when a crystalized first flew forward and cracked his armored jaw.

People continued to run along the walls to avoid the new conflict.

Regaining his bearings after the sudden hit, Eren wound a fist to strike back. Before he could attack Reiner charged him from behind, tackling him through the gate and into the plains outside the city.

“Jean!” Sasha shouted. “What should we do?”

Observing the civilians around them, Jean bit his lip. People rushed past the former members of Levi Squad, continuing to split and stay within the city. Unfortunately for them, the new titans marched to intercept the civilians where they were running. Both the new large and smaller titans marched for the civilians. The only positive Jean found was the titan in plaza came crashing down.

“We need to protect the civilians. Bodt Squad go cover the crowd going east! My group will cover those going west. We’ll have to trust the gate to Reiner,” Jean ordered. Before his commands could be carried out, shouting from above caught their attention.

Members of the Survey Corps came flying down where the crowds were heading. The very same members who faced death earlier now rained down on Mitras to protect the civilians.

“I think the people will be okay,” Marco smiled, letting out a sigh of relief.

Jean chuckled at Marco’s reaction, briefly bringing a smile to his face, but returned to his neutral scowl.

“Then you guard Reiner. I’m going to help take down those larger titans!” Jean said, whipping the reins on Jaeger.

Before his horse could take off, one of the larger titans came sprinting from the plaza. It chased the last of the civilians. The titan ran with surprising speed, closing the gap between it and the people quickly. As it prepared to lunge at the civilians, a roar erupted from a side street. Another large female titan appeared, landing a fierce punch onto the larger titan’s face.

The punch did little to phase the titan, but it distracted it long enough for Levi to zoom by and slice the nape of its neck.

“Did Levi just fly from that female titan’s head?” Connie asked, squinting down the street.

“Hell if I know, I’m just glad we have him back,” Jean grinned.

When the last of the crowds ran by, everyone noticed the three military captains bringing up the rear. Behind them the new brunette female titan jogged forward. On its head stood Captain Levi and on its shoulders sat Frieda Reiss and Kuchel Ackerman.

“Captain!” a new voice shouted at the female titan.

Jean and Marco glanced to the right and saw the former Levi squad running in from the side streets.

The female titan knelt down, allowing it’s passengers to safely dismount.

“Petra, Oluo, Gunther, and Eld. You survived,” Levi nodded.

Kuchel followed her son as he walked over to his squad. The former members of Levi squad exchanged worried glances when she approached.

“Don’t worry, I’m just watching over my son,” Kuchel dismissed their fears, waving a hand in front of her.

The words and gesture felt empty coming from her.

“She’s on our side for now,” Levi vouched for his mom.

Before anyone could object, a wail from Petra’s chest caused her to stiffen.

Levi went wide-eyed, staring suspiciously at her.

“I can explain…” Petra said, her voice trailing off.

Giving her a dull stare, Levi approached her. He opened her cloak to reveal a black haired baby strapped to her chest and crying. “Please do. Why did you bring Leon?”

Undoing the straps, Petra plucked her child from her chest and started cradling it. “We couldn’t risk the Central MP getting him.”

“So you took him titan slaying instead?” Levi replied, shaking his head at the thought.

“Not exactly? I was bait,” Petra shrugged.

Levi groaned, not noticing his mom approach the child. She bent down to inspect the little cherubic face. When Leon noticed this strange woman observing him, he smiled and reached for her nose. She blinked twice as baby Leon lightly squeezed her nose. A gentle expression formed on Kuchel’s face.

“Like we’d ever kidnap a baby. Perhaps when my brother ran the show but never me. Children are innocent, not responsible for their parents’ crimes. That being said,” Kuchel frowned, looking at her son. “Why didn’t you mention you had a child?”

Levi’s, Petra’s, and Oluo’s eyes widened at the question.

“What do you mean?” Oluo nervously asked.

Kuchel glared at him, causing him to flinch.

“Don’t think I can’t recognize such a beautiful face. This boy is the spitting image of my baby boy,” Kuchel stated, her expression softening when she gazed upon Leon again. The baby boy grabbed her cheek next. “And I know about your _accident_ , Oluo Bozado.”

“I’ll explain after we deal with the titans,” Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just know that they’re the parents.”

“Fine,” Kuchel conceded, standing straight up and unequipping her gear. She let her guns and straps fall to the ground. Next, she stuck out her arms expectantly.

Petra narrowed her eyes, suspicious of Kuchel’s actions. “What’re you doing?”

“What does it look like? I want to hold my grandson. If you’re Levi squad my boy will need all the help he can get to slay those beasts. I’m not going anywhere without my gear. Besides, I’m sure your commander will want to keep an eye on me.”

“Definitely,” Erwin stated, stepping forward. “Levi squad I want you to deal with the titan to the east. Mike’s squad is already engaging the one in the city center. Kirschtein and Bodt squads will deal with the titan to the west.”

“With all due respect sir, I think my squad should remain here to assist Reiner. If this fight with the Armored titan goes badly he’ll need their help. I’ll go with Bodt squad since they’ll need my skills,” Jean spoke up. He looked over at his squad. Historia hugged the nose of Ymir’s titan in between strands of long brunette hair while Bertl watched nervously from the gate as the three titans fought outside. “Have Ymir back up Reiner and the rest of us will be fine.”

Erwin rubbed his scruffy chin briefly before nodding. “Alright, move out!”

“Marco, ride with me. The rest of you grab horses and follow us,” Jean offered a hand to Marco. With no hesitation, Marco grabbed it and jumped on Jaeger’s back. “Hold on tight.”

Not needing to be told twice, Marco wrapped his arms around Jean’s chest as Jaeger sprinted towards the city center and away from the mass of civilians. While not the most direct route it had the fewest obstacles.

Jaeger navigated around the rubble and bodies strewn throughout the streets. Marco only glanced at a few of the bodies before averting his gaze. More lost lives, more destruction but for what purpose? Pressing his head onto Jean’s back, he tightened his arms.

“Marco?” Jean asked over the sound of Jaeger’s hooves. Not that Marco could see, but a deep red blush crept onto Jean’s cheeks.

“So many dead civilians… Seeing soldiers on the battlefield is one thing but these people never had a choice. They never asked to be part of this conflict,” Marco answered.

Jean sighed.

“That’s why we protect who we can. We can’t always protect everyone, even each other.”

Marco’s eyes snapped open at those haunting words. “Don’t you dare say that.”

Memories of Trost long since buried and burned rose from the ashes of Marco’s mind. Images of dead comrades, the Beast titan, the cries of civilians, and their first harsh taste of reality left a metallic tang in Marco’s mouth. For the military, Trost stood as a symbol of humanity’s first brave victory in the war against the titans. Yet for Marco it reminded him of all the hopes and dreams he spent his trainee days constructing, only to be shown he built them upon a foundation of salt and sand.

“Say what? It’s the truth,” Jean frowned. “This is war, Marco.”

“I don’t care! I tried accept it before but I couldn’t,” Marco bit his quivering lip. He tightened his arms once more around Jean.

“Marco…”

Why was Marco suddenly so emotional? Jean had seen him stomach death before so why was he acting so childish now?

“We’re not the same trainees we were back then. I’ve been through hell and back since then. If I can’t protect you after that, how can I keep my promise?”

Tears formed at the edges of Marco’s eyes as his voice cracked.

“What promise? What’s wrong?” Jean wondered, equally concerned and confused.

Wiping his eyes on Jean’s jacket, Marco sniffled and regained his composure after a few seconds.

“After I lost you in Trost and saw you at Utgard I swore I’d never lose you again. And… and you said something similar right before you died in Trost.”

Jean’s beating heart slowed as a chill went down his spine. His tense muscles loosened in Marco’s arms.

“I had no idea, I’m sorry,” Jean muttered an apology as Jaeger broke into the plaza. He pulled the reins to the west, giving his horse direction.

“It’s okay. You couldn’t have known,” Marco replied.

Jean pressed his lips as he pondered Marco’s confession. Suddenly Marco’s actions after he lost his memory made more sense. He knew they were close but he never expected to have that kind of impact on anyone. Did he react as strongly when he saw Marco after all those years? If he and Marco went down similar paths after Trost it’d make sense.

“But we’re different people,” Jean broke the silence.

“Huh?”

“We’re full-fledged captains of the Survey Corps and members of Levi squad. Hell, I’m the fucking hero of Utgard,” Jean’s cocky tone twisted Marco’s stomach. He hadn’t heard that brazen tone in so long. “We’ve faced so much bullshit since then. I think we can handle one oversized titan together, let alone with the help of the others. Trust me.”

Marco swallowed the lump in his throat upon hearing those words. He nuzzled his head against Jean’s back. “I did before and you died.”

Jean’s confidence sunk at Marco’s remark. The nuzzling only deepened his blush and embarrassment.

“Well… I-”

“But like you said, that was a different Jean from a different time. You probably trusted in another me as well and I know how that ended,” Marco continued, sitting straight up as the new titan came into view.

Jean let out a held breath, placing a hand over Marco’s. Squeezing it for reassurance, he replied.

“We got this.”

Marco’s insides twisted even more. Leaning against Jean’s back, he clutched Jean’s hand.

“Yeah, we do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been a year since I first started writing this and almost a year since my first update... How time flies. Thank you to everyone whose been here since the beginning or joined this story along the way!
> 
> Titan shifters, stronger titans, and the beginning of the counter attack of the Survey Corps. Writing all of this and trying to coordinate hasn't been easy but I'm pleased with the results and we finally got some more J/M interactions. Baby Leon also reappears and writing him with Kuchel is a treat. I can't wait to have more of them. Oh and of course we have a new titan shifter. I'm pretty sure you all can guess who it is but I'll leave that for the next chapter to confirm when we wrap up the battle and bring the battle to a climax. We still have Rod Reiss, Father Nick, and Zeke to finish up :D
> 
> As always, thanks for continuing to read. All comments, kudos, reblogs, and likes are appreciated as I love feedback. If you have any questions or want to directly talk to me I also have my [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22). Until next time!


	18. The King of the Titans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Battle for Mitras coming to its climax, Jean and his friends are pushed to their limits to combat the threat of the newest titan. It takes the revelation that one of their closest friends is another titan shifter to help prevent their untimely end, but at what cost?

“Will you just stay still?!” Jean shouted at the noble titan as it charged him. Flying to his left, Jean avoided the attack. Rubble shot outwards from the impact- another house destroyed.

Marco aimed for the nape but he froze when the titan lunged for him midair. Shock caused his eyes to widen but he flew to the ground to dodge. The titan’s giant eyes remained focused on Marco as it jumped over the soldier. It landed in another set of buildings across the street.

“He’s a spry bastard,” Connie remarked, landing next to Marco. “No wonder you two haven’t killed it yet.”

“Don’t stay still,” Marco advised, shooting an anchor into a nearby roof. Connie mimicked the movement in time to see the titan crawling out of the debris.

“We need to cripple it,” Jean yelled.

“How?” Connie asked the question on everyone’s mind.

“Armin, do you have any ideas?” Jean looked to his friend for an answer.

Armin frowned, his chest tightening. “Taking out its legs would slow it down. Concentrate on the heels and behind the knees.”

“Like hunting an animal, got it,” Sasha nodded. She immediately flew for its legs but it ran away from her and towards Connie and Marco.

Jean gritted his teeth, launching himself towards its ankles. He drew his blades for an attack but stopped short when the titan turned and sprinted towards him. Two shadows flew over Jean. He glanced up to see Marco and Connie being chased by the titan.

He dove to the street to avoid the oncoming titan.

“We need to get him to stop,” Jean shouted.

Armin landed next to Jean, checking out his equipment.

“We’re wasting gas avoiding it. We don’t have any more supplies and we don’t know how many more titans the Wallists have,” Armin noted as he watched the titan chase after his two friends.

Connie and Marco split apart, causing the titan to halt. His head turned towards Marco and he redirected himself towards the squad captain. Realization dawned on Armin.

“I’m all for ideas,” Jean frowned.

“He’s only chasing Marco,” Armin stated causing Jean to stiffen. “That’s how we can predict its movements.”

Jean placed a hand on Armin’s shoulder, gripping it tightly. Armin winced from the pain.

“There’s gotta be another way.”

Armin frowned at Jean but dropped any resentment when he saw the fear in Jean’s eyes.

“Marco knows what he’s doing. We just need him to lure the titan so we can get its legs. Without those we’ll be able to slow it enough to kill it.”

Letting go of his friend, Jean let out a heavy sigh. He sheathed his blades and cupped his hands around his mouth.

“Marco! Lure it towards us. He only wants you right now,” Jean shouted.

Upon hearing Jean’s words, Marco swallowed a lump in his throat. He fired an anchor into a tower as he flew past it. Allowing his momentum to carry him, Marco swung around the tower and back towards his friends while the titan gained on him. It tripped over itself as it tried to chase Marco back in the direction it came from.

“Ok, get ready!” Marco shouted. He saw Jean and his squad perching themselves on some buildings. Landing in the street near them, he turned to face the noble titan. His legs trembled at the sight before him. Moments like this made him question why the military chose white pants for their uniforms. Perhaps it made seeing injuries easier. For Marco he was pretty sure his pants were going to be yellow at any moment. Or brown.

When the titan dove for Marco, he attempted to fly away.

“Now’s our chance, go!” Armin shouted.

Jean, Armin, Connie, and Sasha attacked the legs like Armin stated earlier. All four landed their blows successfully. The brief sense of accomplishment died when they heard Marco shouting.

“Let go of me!” Marco yelled. A large hand wrapped around his body, pressing a hand and blade into his side. With his free hand, Marco tried uselessly to cut himself free.

The sight of Marco trapped in the titan’s clutches froze the blood in Jean’s veins. His heart and throat clenched as panic surged through his body along with adrenaline. Rather than be immobilized by fear, instinct propelled him forward.

Jean flew over the titan’s head and spun towards its inner elbow. As the titan tried to move Marco to its mouth, Jean severed the tendons to prevent it from moving its arm any closer.

Fear seized Marco’s muscles but the sight of Jean slashing at the titan gave him a glimmer of hope.

Not letting its new injury impair it, it dragged its entire body forward towards Marco as steam poured from its legs and elbow.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Jean screamed, flying at the hand that held Marco. He sliced into the titan’s wrist, severing just enough that the grip around Marco loosened.

Marco squirmed around as Jean dropped his blades. He did his best to help Marco escape as the titan pulled itself forward.

“Save yourself, get out of here, Jean!” Marco shouted, his voice cracking.

“No, I won’t lose you again!” Jean refused to leave his teammate behind. He wrapped an arm around Marco and used his other hand to fire an anchor into a nearby building. They flew out of the path of the noble titan while Marco clung to Jean. Only Marco noticed the massive steam cloud behind them, the creature already dead.

After they landed Marco remained attached to Jean. His heart raced as his tunnel vision faded. Taking calculated deep breaths, Marco tried to soothe his nerves. Despite his tight grasp on Jean, his entire body trembled. He buried his face in the crook of Jean’s neck as he tried to regain his composure.

A familiar combination of sweat, oil, iron, and a hint of pine flooded Marco’s nostrils as he took deep breaths. Maybe it was the fumes from the 3DMG but this combination took Marco’s mind back to his trainee days. Back when he openly discussed his fears and hopes with Jean- _his_ Jean. Of times when they’d go out to the woods and vent. When he’d lean on Jean’s shoulders and the normally cocky boy would drop his façade and discuss his regrets. While Marco was an open book back then, Jean never gave away as much information as he did.

There was comfort in nostalgia but reality crept back into Marco’s mind. That Jean died but here he was again, saving him. All of Marco’s regrets and fears returned when this new Jean appeared, including his last thoughts in Trost.

“You saved me,” Marco mumbled into Jean’s jacket. He felt Jean hug him.

“We have each other’s backs, I promise,” Jean whispered back.

The sound of tile shifting under boots caught both boys’ attention, causing them to loosen their holds. Jean gingerly set Marco down on the roof.

“Is Marco okay?” Connie asked.

“I’m alive. But I need a moment,” Marco admitted. A stray thought came to his mind and he turned to face Jean. “What color is my pants?”

Jean’s face fell at the question. He looked at Marco’s legs and noticed a bloody patch on his thigh. “Uh, white except where you’re bleeding?”

“Good,” Marco allowed himself to relax onto the tile. A goofy smile formed on his face.

The adrenaline coursing through Jean’s veins weakened as Marco regained his composure. While Jean’s stomach remained twisted in knots, his muscles loosened. 

Visceral was the best word to describe Jean’s reaction. Throughout the day he saw people meet untimely and grisly ends but none impacted him like what he just witnessed. His body reacted swiftly. The pain, the fear of loss, the anger- it all came naturally. Why he felt that way he couldn’t say but the surge of relief washing over his body had to be rooted somewhere.

“Armin,” Jean whispered to his friend. “Hey, Armin?”

“Hm?” Armin replied, almost missing the question.

Fidgeting with the 3DMG handle in one hand, Jean let out a sigh. “What were Marco and I in this world?”

Caught off guard by the sudden question, Armin tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Were we only friends?” Jean’s face reddened when he spoke the words, giving Armin the context he was lacking.

Trying not to smile, Armin stifled the urge to chuckle at the innocent inquiry.

“Best of friends, nothing more. Why do you ask?” Armin answered.

“No reason,” Jean curtly replied. He stared at his shaking hand as he thought about it. Maybe they were just that close that they were almost like brothers. If that were the case that’d make the new feelings bubbling up in his stomach very complicated.

“Well, if you ever want to discuss something I’m here for you,” Armin spoke, trying not to press his luck.

“It’s okay, everything will be clear once my memories return.”

Armin scoffed at the suggestion, earning a puzzled glance from Jean as well as attracting Connie’s and Sasha’s attention.

“Doubtful.”

Before Jean could press for more information, the sounds of a more crashes echoed down the street. A dust cloud brewed in the plaza as something came to a stop in the middle of it.

From their position on the roof Jean and Bodt squad saw Reiner’s attack titan laying on it back. A few seconds later the blonde and brunette female titans came rolling in, missing limbs and parts of their faces.

Jean launched an anchor into a tower to give himself extra height. He surveyed the city to see what remained of the fights. The bearded emaciated titan remained sitting against the back wall but the other noble titans were still engaged with the other squads. By the gate he saw the Armored Titan, albeit in pretty bad shape. When a loud roar echoed around the city, Jean dared to look up and see the Beast titan crouching over the city with a figure in his hands. Next to them sat a titan on all fours.

Looming over the crowds below, the figure shouted.

“My fellow brothers and sisters, please lend me your ears!” Pastor Nick silenced the crowds below him, capturing the attention of citizens and soldiers alike. “For all our known history we’ve been protected by these magnificent walls; named after the daughters of the first king. No one knows this better than I, a leader of the church that sought to maintain them for our safety.”

His admission earned him jeers from below.

“Silence,” the Beast titan bellowed, ceasing the commotion.

“What we didn’t know is that these walls are a prison of our own sins, our ancestors’ sins! These walls are a symbol of the power our ancestors created. We are the Eldian race; the progenitors of the titans and the only ones capable of harnessing their latent ability. We are descended from a long line of conquerors and peacemakers, slaves and slavers, geniuses and savants. However, all of that changed when the true king of our people, the first king of the Walls, feared our awesome destiny. We were rounded up like cattle, brainwashed, and made to believe we’re the last of humanity. This is far from the truth. Zeke, if you may.”

The Beast titan unclenched his fist to reveal a hogtied Rod Reiss.

“This man, Rod Reiss, is the rightful king and descendent of that cowardly first king. His family and many within my order sought to keep this information secret. They hid the truth from us! There is an entire world outside these walls without titans. A world that we once controlled. My fellow Eldians, now is the time for us break free of these walls. Today we’ve seen what the titans are capable of, and with the correct leader, we’d be able to use them to retake the world. I present the man whose been trying to liberate us from our prison, Zeke Jaeger, heir to the Eldian throne.”

The Beast titan smiled widely at the people below, speaking in a deep voice, “Through blood and bone we took the world. Today you’ve seen what your false kings forced upon you. Allow me to liberate you from this weak king.”

Zeke brought his hands together. Nick pulled a syringe from his sleeve, grinning menacingly at Rod.

Rod Reiss’ eyes widened as he shook his head. Sweat poured down his forehead, muffled cries escaping his gag. 

“Oh Rod, we both know this is your destiny. You foresaw it yourself. This is the punishment befitting the king of the Walls, the king of the cowards,” Nick stated as he plunged the syringe into Rod’s neck. The priest relished the look of horror on Rod’s face.

“Those who’ve lived this endeavor are the chosen ones, the strong. Now we must pass one last test to atone for our past mistakes. We must destroy the old to make way for the new!” Nick shouted, raising his arms to the sky.

On cue, Zeke pulled back his arm and threw Rod Reiss over the city.

“Now, pay for your ancestor’s crimes,” Zeke ordered.

Lightning briefly flashed over the capital as another massive explosion went off. Through the steam cloud a mass fell towards the castle, bowling into the bearded titan.

“I present the king of the Titans, as he fights the false king Fritz,” Pastor Nick gestured to the two titans.

The bearded titan stared at the ball in front of him, slowly uncurling. From it emerged two long but muscular arms. The titan’s hands pushed into the ground and elevated a large torso. Next its massive legs unfurled and brought the massive titan to its feet. Rod Reiss’ titan stood almost as tall as the walls, eclipsing any of the noble titans in size. Taut skin covered this titan, pulling away from joints and revealing muscle. Patches of crystal slowly formed along various joints and over the muscle. Compared to the other titans it also had a massive gut.

“Now remove your puppet,” Zeke ordered, causing the new titan to shift its gaze at the bearded titan.

A massive hand reached for the sitting titan, who gave no resistance as the giant hand enclosed around its head. A distinct sizzling sound echoed across the city as steam billowed from the bearded titan’s neck. A loud crunch caused unsuspecting citizens to cringe. Rod’s other giant hand wrapped around the back of the bearded titan’s neck. Crystals gleamed on Rod’s fingertips as it dug into the nape of the emaciated titan. While Rod’s titan plunged its hands into King Fritz’s titan, the crystal on its joints expanded outwards. Other patches of skin started to crystalize.

A death howl shook the city as steam billowed from the bearded titan.

“This new titan will be a tool for retaking the lands we once called our own- the lands beyond these walls. Join me, my fellow Eldians!” Nick shouted.

A heavy silence fell over the city, no one giving a response to the preacher.

“Aren’t you a gilded little hypocrite?” Kuchel yelled back, covering Leon’s ears. “What bullshit do you use to polish your words? Must be the same you use for your pretty chains.”

“Do you think these people can’t see through your lies?” Frieda shouted next. “You come to this city, preach from palm of the titan that attacked Trost and Wall Rose, and claim to be our saviors. Your actions speak more than your long-winded tirades. We saw what you did to _my father_. We saw your men become titans. All of this was your doing!”

“These are the consequences of your ancestors,” Nick narrowed his eyes at the women.

“You can’t blame the past for your actions in the present. You’re the traitor, not the men and women who fought today. Not the citizens your priests slaughtered. Not the people you forced to endure this tragedy.”

“It’s all a matter of perspective. Let the citizens decide,” Nick gestured to those around them. “What say you, mighty Eldians?”

The low hum of conversations buzzed around the walls until a quiet murmur grew into a loud booing.

With a confident smile, Frieda shouted back, “There’s your answer, traitor.”

Shaking his head, Nick offered a disappointed expression. “Then we must seize the future ourselves.”

“Rod, take care of our opposition,” Zeke bellowed to the last large titan.

As the large titan walked forward, slowly crushing buildings in its path, large shards of crystal broke off and fell below. Steam blew from various joints, causing more crystal to explode outwards. Even from across the plaza everyone could see the surrounding buildings catch ablaze as it approached them.

“All capable soldiers, defend the citizens and destroy that titan!” Frieda yelled.

“How do we fight that?” Sasha asked, her hands dropping to her side.

Jean stood straight up and slack jawed, his mind pushing out all unnecessary thoughts. He flew back to the others and muttered, “Armin?”

Marco pushed himself into a sitting position as fear crept back into him. The unease left him trembling.

“I… I… don’t know,” Armin stated, his eyes searching the mammoth titan for exploitable spots. “I mean the nape must be its weakness.”

“Yeah but that’s like scaling the walls for one shot. If you miss you fall,” Connie frowned.

“And we can’t easily cripple it. Look at the crystals. They’re growing,” Marco pointed to the knees.

With every step more crystals shattered off and crashed to the ground. What started as a light covering of steam grew denser as the titan lumbered towards the center of Mitras. Steam blew more crystals outwards and ripped off patches of skin and muscle.

“We have to wound it before it completely crystalizes itself,” Jean clenched a fist.

“It’s too dangerous,” Armin shook his head. “If those buildings are catching on fire by him getting closer than that must mean it’s emitting a lot of heat. We’d get burned or vaporized before getting too close.”

“We won’t know unless we get close. If we don’t do anything then everyone will die,” Marco said, standing up. “Besides, Reiner and Ymir are in that things path.”

“What should we do?” Sasha asked, turning towards Marco.

Biting his bottom lip, Marco looked towards the titan, their friends in the plaza, and the gate to the city. His eyes rested on the cracked tiles in front of him as he pondered the correct actions. A hand squeezed his shoulder, bringing him out of his trance.

“We need to rendezvous with the Commander. This isn’t something we can handle with our current equipment. Right now we need to get Reiner and the others out of the path,” Jean informed the group.

Frowning at the thought of running, Connie glared at Jean. “What about the people? If we don’t stop it then it’ll kill everyone!”

“He’s right, Connie. Erwin or someone will know how to deal with the titan. Maybe if we get the Beast titan we’ll get an answer,” Marco agreed with Jean. “Let’s move!”

Gritting his teeth, Connie made his way towards the plaza. The others quickly followed.

Armin kept his eyes trained on the titan as it marched slowly towards the citizens of Mitras. As the steam cloud grew denser, a new detail caught his attention. His eyes widened at the discovery.

The group landed in the plaza, running towards the piles of titans. Ymir’s titan already faded from the group- her knocked out body lying amidst the rubble. Reiner’s half dismembered titan laid motionless while the blonde female titan trembled as it tried to pull itself up.

“Armin and Sasha, pull Reiner out of his body. Connie, grab Ymir,” Marco ordered.

Nodding at their instructions, Bodt squad separated and went to retrieve their designated targets. Marco and Jean glanced at the female titan, its one remaining eye focusing on them. How was the Armored titan able to badly hurt these three titans?

Before Jean could ponder the answer to that question, sweat began to pour down the back of his neck. He turned around to see the massive steam cloud approaching the plaza. The castle stones glowed red like embers as Rod’s titan stepped into the debris.

“Come on, we need to escape!” Jean shouted at the blonde titan.

A roar escaped its mouth, stunning him.

“Jean, Marco, we need to go!” Connie shouted as he returned with Ymir. The group looked back at Reiner and saw Armin and Sasha pulling their brawny friend free.

As the temperature in the plaza rose, so did Marco’s fears. In the face of such a massive creature he felt paralyzed.

“It’s been quite a while,” Marco muttered.

“Since what?” Jean quirked an eyebrow.

“I’ve felt this helpless,” Marco admitted.

A set of anchors landed in the ground next to the group. Sasha and Armin propelled in with Reiner in tow, albeit missing his legs.

“We had to improvise. He was almost fused with the titan,” Armin explained.

“We gotta run before we’re toast. Let’s move!” Jean pointed to the gate.

Armin looked back at the titan, trying to squint at through the cloud. The sounds of crashing debris meant crystals still fell from the beast. In a brief moment of clarity, Armin saw the torso of the titan.

“It’s shrinking,” Armin narrowed his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Marco turned to face Armin.

“He was fat before and he had skin. Look at its head, it’s all muscle.”

The group looked at the one part of the titan not obscured. True to Armin’s observation, the titan now lacked any skin or hair on its face.

“And?” Sasha followed up.

“That means it’s hurting itself faster than it can regenerate,” Armin rubbed his chin.

“Either way we still need to pull back,” Jean frowned. He looked back at the female titan that tried to move. “Come on, we need to get out of here!”

Connie chewed his bottom lip. “So it can’t regenerate?”

“It’s regenerating too slowly. I can’t say for sure but if we could injure it we could probably contain it,” Armin hypothesized.

“But if it kept crystalizing then it’s not like our blades could cut into it,” Marco reminded them.

A roar from the female titan rumbled the nearby area, causing the group to cover their ears. It turned its head towards them.

Connie clenched both of his fists and closed his eyes tightly. His body trembled as the female titan roared again.

“Fine, fine! Bombardment maneuver, Hitch! The one Magath hated,” Connie shouted at the titan, catching the group off guard.

As if on cue, the female titan’s head fell limply and a body emerged. Out of the sinew and tendons a rather angry looking Hitch appeared.

“The pitching one? Why that one, baldie?!” Hitch demanded to know.

“We just need to slow it down. Can you throw me and protect everyone?” Connie asked.

Hitch looked at the group, glaring at them. “Yes. Get ready for the consequences though.”

“I know, I know…” Connie said, a sorrowful tone in his voice. He turned to his squad as tears formed on the edges of his eyes. “Sasha, I love you so much.”

He walked forward and embraced his girlfriend.

Armin and Jean glanced at each other, exchanging nervous looks.

“How did you know that was Hitch?” Jean frowned. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

Sasha cocked her head, puzzled by the sudden tears. “I love you too? Wait, what’s going on?”

With one last tight hug, Connie kissed Sasha on the lips. “Something I never wanted you to see. Just… thank you for being the first person who really wanted to know me.”

“Baldie, now!” Hitch shouted as another explosion went off. The force of Hitch’s transformation almost blew the group away. As the heat of the mammoth titan became increasingly uncomfortable, the group saw a hand laid out next to Connie.

“Everyone, get underneath Hitch when she throws me. Don’t question it!” Connie ordered as he climbed into Hitch’s hand. He looked back at the group with tears rolling down his cheeks. “And Armin, I’m so sorry.”

Armin’s eyes widened at those words. The Female Titan threw Connie at full force towards the oncoming titan.

“Connie!” Sasha screamed, reaching a hand out for her boyfriend. Before the group could see any more, the Female Titan rolled over above them. It curled into a ball, wrapping its arms around the front and enclosing the group underneath it. Hitch crystalized her head, arms, hands, and nape. From the protection of the female titan the group only heard Sasha’s cries and the crack of a gigantic explosion.

On the outside, lightning crackled in the sky once more. In a blinding flash another cloud of steam overcast the sky. The force of the explosion blew the steam cloud around Rod Reiss’ titan away, revealing a muscled titan with most of its body crystalized. The image was brief as a new wave of steam blew into the creature along with the actual explosion. The people watching averted their eyes while Nick and Zeke kept their gazes trained on the new blast.

“What the devil?” Pastor Nick narrowed his eyes.

“So the last traitor finally shows… Come, our work is done,” Zeke muttered, setting his hand down next to him.

“B-but your people, my liege?”

“The people have chosen their fate, let them suffer for it,” Zeke said, looking down at the gate below. “Come, Eren.”

The Armored titan replied with a roar, lowering its defenses.

From the center of the capital the loudest roar of the day reverberated through the demolished city. Peering above the walls and over the corpse of Rod Reiss’ titan stood the Colossal Titan, twisting its massive foot back and forth. It pinned the nape of the king below its weight and the castle ruins. With mighty stomp, it crushed the head of the last titan with a deafening crack.

Hitch’s titan fell over onto its back, releasing Jean and Bodt squad from its protection. The group turned to see the female titan missing its lower body. Her skin crackled as the crystals slowly faded while steam rolled around them.

A large shadow passed over the group, causing Armin to turn and face upwards. His arms, shoulders, and mouth fell at the sight of the Colossal Titan above. Any words he tried to form were choked out by his throat.

The others had similar but not as intense reactions.

Marco’s eyes widened as he processed this new information, sending chills down his spine. “Connie… he’s also a shifter?”

Jean felt his heart and head pound, fear and anger boiling in his veins. The sight of this new titan enraged him for reasons he couldn’t understand. Another emotion also crossed his mind: betrayal.

“Connie?” Sasha mumbled, bringing a shaking hand to her lips. Tears blurred her vision as she fell to her knees. “You’re alive… oh thank goodness.”

“It was Connie?” Armin spoke to no one in particular, clenching his fists. His voice was weak and devoid of emotion.

A roar from the gate snapped Jean from his thoughts and he turned to see the Armored Titan charging towards the group.

“Oh shit. Everyone, we gotta move!” Jean tried to stir his friends from their haze.

Before anyone could gather their thoughts enough to respond, the feeling of rushing air drew their eyes upwards.

The Colossal Titan pulled its foot backwards as Eren sprinted towards the square. When Eren got within range, Connie brought his foot forward. A sudden gust blew most of the scouts over as the kick scored a direct hit on the Armored Titan. The Armored titan flew skyward and just over the wall, nicking it with its head as it ragdolled into the plains outside. It narrowly missed Zeke and Nick as they boarded the titan on all fours.

“Damn it, Eren,” Zeke shook his head, glaring at Eren splayed out in the plains below. “Pieck, bring us down so we can extract him. Quickly!”

The titan responded by jumping down and towards the unconscious Armored Titan.

As the body of Rod Reiss’ titan evaporated, the Colossal Titan fell to its knees. Rubble, debris, and anything in the path of the titan’s legs were crushed into fine powder underneath its weight. One last plume of steam gusted outwards and the past the remaining Survey Corps soldiers.

Jean and his friends protected their faces with their arms. As the visibility returned to the plaza, everyone saw that only a crater with scattered stone and wood remained. Though they couldn’t see, they all could hear sobs from within the crater where the steam remained. The group approached the crater, carefully sliding down the edges towards the center. As they grew closer the steam evaporated to reveal a silhouette. Hunched over on his knees with his hands grasping at dirt and rubble was Connie. Tears poured from his eyes and dripped onto the ground beneath him. He trembled as the others approached.

No one said anything as they watched their friend weep the ground.

The metallic sound of a blade being unsheathed roused Jean from his shock. Armin stepped towards Connie, raising the sword over his head. His whitened knuckles clutched the blade, not bringing it down. Before he could follow through, Sasha dashed forward.

“Wait!” Sasha shouted as she slid to her knees in front of Connie, pulling his head into her arms. She turned towards Armin with fear etched onto her face. “What’re you doing?”

“Move, Sasha,” Armin requested as Marco ran forward and grabbed his arm. “Let go!”

“Armin, he just saved us!” Marco firmly held his wrist.

“I don’t care. He was the one who attacked Shinganshina!” Armin replied, yanking himself free.

“What?”

“He’s right,” Connie admitted, clutching onto Sasha.

“Why?” Armin demanded to know. “Why did you slaughter all those innocent people?! Why did you kill Eren’s mom… my friends… my grandpa…”

Rather than answer Armin’s question, Connie averted his gaze to the ground. He continued to bawl into Sasha’s shoulder as Armin glared at him with icy blue eyes.

“Armin…” Marco mumbled.

“Sasha, please move,” Armin requested as his porcelain façade started to crumble. Tears streaked down his pale cheeks as he lowered his blade towards Connie.

Shaking her head, Sasha refused to budge. Instead she embraced Connie. “Please don’t, Armin.”

“Move, Sasha!” Armin demanded, pointing his blade at his friend.

“He saved us!” Sasha replied.

“He killed everyone I knew and loved!” Armin shouted back as he too began to sob. He fell to his knees, planting his bade into the ground. “Why? Why did you kill them?”

Marco knelt down by Armin, pulling him into a hug.

“Because the world is cruel place,” a cool voice answered. The group turned to see Hitch approaching, her arms at her side. She looked at Connie, herself already on the cusp of crying.

Armin gritted his teeth, giving her a disdainful look. “How would you know?!”

“Because I was there,” Hitch admitted.

“Hitch!” Connie called out in surprise. “You didn’t do anything!”

“Didn’t I?” She frowned, clenching her fists. “I watched all those people die thinking they deserved it. They were devils after all, right?”

Her face broke into a twisted smile. She rested her face in the palm of her hand, blocking her tears.

“We didn’t know… But you didn’t do anything!” Connie defended her.

“Connie,” Hitch started, dropping her hand to reveal a sorrowful face. “I watched you kick open the gate. I watched as we broke open their defenses… I was just as guilty as you and…”

A sob cut her off before she could finish.

“There’s no blood on your hands,” Connie hung his head low at that statement. “There’s an ocean on mine.”

“I didn’t stop it!” Hitch yelled at him. “I’m just as guilty as you two! Don’t you dare try to bear that guilt alone. We agreed to share it!” Hitch fumed. “Or did you forget your promise?”

Connie took a deep breath. “No.”

Armin stared between the two, trembling from his emotions. He tried to raise his blade but couldn’t find the strength. “Why? Why can’t I bring myself to kill either of you?”

“Because you’re a better person than that,” Jean spoke. “You know there’s more to the story and you can’t kill them until you know the truth.”

“I’ve killed better men for less!” Armin slammed a fist into the ground, earning a frown from Jean. “I already killed the Armored Titan so why can’t I kill you two?”

That comment froze everyone in place. Connie and Hitch widened their eyes, paling at that news.

“You… you killed…” Connie mumbled, his head fell limply into Sasha’s shoulder.

However, Hitch wound up a fist and ran for Armin. “You killed our brother?!”

Jean intercepted her, catching her fist midair.

“Don’t you dare,” Jean threatened. Where he expected a vitriolic reply, she instead wrapped her arms around his chest and sobbed into it. Caught completely off guard by her reaction, his body stiffened.

“You don’t understand…” She muttered into his chest.

“How did you…” Connie cried as he thought about it.

Before the conversation could devolve any further, the sounds of people sliding into the crater caught everyone’s attention.

Erwin approached the group with the other commanders and Frieda. Trailing them were Mike’s and Levi’s squads. More steps echoed around the plaza as people rushed to see the damage.

“Bodt Squad and Kirschtein Squads,” Erwin addressed them. “Job well done.”

The sudden attention defused some of the emotions as people tried to regain their composure. Erwin surveyed the group and took note of their emotional state but didn’t address it. Before he could continue the sounds of guns being cocked interrupted him.

“Now where were we?” Traute asked aloud, sliding down with the remnants of the Central Military Police. “As decreed by his majesty King Fritz, the Survey Corps is sentenced to death.”

A loud booing emerged from the crowd surrounding the pit, momentarily shocking Traute and the soldiers.

“Give it up, Traute,” Kuchel stated as she emerged with baby Leon in her arms. “Fritz and Rod Reiss are dead, as are the nobles. I doubt the new queen will want to carry out the punishment.”

“Captain? The new queen?”

Kuchel gestured to Frieda Reiss. “By birthright, Frieda Reiss is the Queen of the Walls.”

“No, not the Walls,” Frieda rejected the thought, glancing towards the remains of her father’s titan. “Queen of the Eldians. And this battle is over. Let us lick our wounds and tend to injured.”

Jean smiled at the thought of no longer being hunted. He almost fell on his ass when Hitch pushed away from him, sniffling a bit. He gave her a confused look but she returned to her usual scowl. Albeit with tear streaks running down her face.

Connie remained on the ground in Sasha’s arms, barely registering the cheer around them. He dared to look at Armin.

Armin stood up, pushing out of Marco’s grasp. He unequipped his gear as he walked towards the side of the crater. 

“Armin-” Marco called out

“Please, just let me be by myself,” Armin requested, wiping tears away from his eyes.

Jean scowled at the thought but he knew better than to press distressed people’s buttons. He peered back at the crowd to see Ymir leaning on Historia’s shoulders and Reiner sitting by Bertl. A pang of jealousy shot through his mind. He might’ve even felt a little jealous of Connie for the way Sasha clung to him. He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt someone grab his hand.

“Holy shit,” Jean reacted, pulling his hand out of Marco’s grasp. He flinched from the sting of the burn. “Marco?”

“You injured your hand, are you okay?” His freckled friend’s concerned gaze caused the butterflies to turn up a storm in his belly.

“Uh, yeah. I mean, of course. We just got done fighting titans so this is nothing,” Jean puffed out his chest a bit, earning an eye roll from Marco. “Thanks, Nurse Bodt.”

“Jean,” Marco groaned at the name, frowning a bit. “You still need to get it treated though.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jean scratched the back of his head. “How’s your leg?”

Marco looked down, finally noticing the bloody patch. “Oh, well… I’m doing fine. I mean my leg…”

His face reddened as his mouth spoke before he could think. “Maybe I can help you bandage it up when we’re out of here.”

Marco blinked twice, his freckles disappearing beneath a blush. “S-sure.”

A brief silence fell between the two until a stern voice snapped them out of it, much to Jean’s joy.

“Captain Kirschtein, Captain Bodt,” Erwin called out. The boys turned to see the commander approaching them with Frieda. “We’re going to meet with the other captains at the Military Police Headquarters to review what we can. We’d like to speak to you about what happened here in private. It seems we missed a lot…”

“Yeah,” Jean agreed, frowning at the thought of explaining what happened.

“Good. Once that’s over with I wish to give you a reward,” Frieda smiled, earning a puzzled expression from Jean. “Oh don’t look confused, we had an agreement, remember? It’s time you get your memories back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go, the reveal of the Colossal titan. I've been waiting _months_ to write this chapter. Like since before Halloween. How many people actually knew it was our favorite cue ball? I know the titan trio was something people were guessing from the beginning.
> 
> I've also been playing the recent Attack on Titan game and getting a blast out of reliving the battles. Hopefully some of that tension and fear made it into this last chapter. I really want to know what you guys thought about this chapter because I had so many emotional highs writing it, I want to know if that came across well and if it impacted the audience as much as it did for me.
> 
> As always, thanks for continuing to read. All comments, kudos, reblogs, and likes are appreciated as I love feedback. If you have any questions or want to directly talk to me I also have my [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22). Until next time!


	19. Selfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While the military and new queen discuss the fallout from Mitras, Marco watches over Jean as he recovers. When he finally wakes up both boys have a much needed conversation about their worst kept secret: their feelings for one another.

Heavy eyelids lulled Marco closer to slumber, briefly blacking the world out. As his body yearned for rest anxiety pulsed like electricity through his nerves, jolting him awake. The sudden movement almost knocked him out of his chair and onto the nearby bed. He took a few rapid breaths. Glancing over at the person lying in the bed, his pulse slowed once he determined Jean to still be asleep. Marco reached for a pitcher on the nightstand and poured himself a cup of water.

Marco sipped on his drink while Jean squeezed his sheets. Frowning at the sight, Marco set the cup down. Tears formed in Jean’s eyes from whatever nightmare he was experiencing. Marco grabbed a handkerchief from his jacket pocket and dabbed the edges of Jean’s eyes.

A soft knocking from the door drew Marco’s attention.

“Come in,” Marco beckoned, pocketing the handkerchief. He spotted a tuft of blond hair and turned back to Jean. “What is it, Armin?”

“Armin?” A distinctly feminine voice asked. “You really need to catch up on your sleep, Marco.”

Letting out a yawn, Marco glanced back to see Historia and Ymir standing in the doorway, “After he wakes up.”

Historia frowned at the thought.

Ymir clicked her tongue and entered the room the Survey Corps appropriated from the Military Police. “Let him go and get some sleep.”

Marco scoffed at the notion.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re making a mistake if you’re getting attached,” Ymir coldly replied, stopping at the foot of the bed.

“Ymir!” Histoira marched over, lightly swatting her girlfriend on the arm. “Don’t say such mean things. We’re only here because the commander sent for you. They want you in the war room.”

Ymir words bristled an already irritable Marco. He replied an accusatory tone, “What’d you mean?”

“Everyone can see it Marco so don’t play dumb,” Ymir rolled her eyes. “If you think you’re being subtle you aren’t.”

“What’re you getting at?” Marco glared at her.

“You love him. Ever since he got here you’ve been falling for him,” Ymir stated the obvious. She placed her hand on hips, a wry smile on her face. “Face the truth: he’s not our Jean. Now that he has his memories back he’ll remember and want to go home. You’re not his Marco.”

As much as Marco wanted to offer a venomous reply, his brain couldn’t think of one in its current condition. Before the tension escalated any further, Historia inserted herself between the two.

“My sister said Jean will be out for a while so go see them. We’ll watch Jean until you get back, I promise,” Historia offered.

“We will?” Ymir cocked an eyebrow.

“Yes, we will,” Historia looked up at Ymir.

Marco narrowed his eyes at Ymir but sighed. He really needed a break and the war room at least offered some mental stimulation. Relenting, Marco replied, “Alright. I’ll be back soon.”

Marco left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Inside the room, Historia gave Ymir dull stare. “Really?”

Ymir shrugged her shoulders, taking a step forward to wrap her arms around Historia. “What?”

“I get what you’re trying to do but you could’ve waited until after he rested,” Historia returned the hug.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ymir played dumb, eyeing the fruit on the platter on the nightstand. “I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”

Letting the topic go, Historia giggled at Ymir’s reaction. While blunt she understood where her girlfriend came from. She watched Ymir go over to the platter and pick up some of the choice fruits. As Ymir stuffed her face, Historia looked at Jean. “You’re a good person, Ymir.”

Ymir paused and turned towards Historia with her mouth open and full of partially chewed fruit, “Huh?”

\---

Reaching the war room took more effort than Marco anticipated. He dragged his feet down the few flights of stairs and down the hall to meet his superiors, ignoring the numerous funny stares from his fellow soldiers. When he reached the war room, he didn’t bother to knock. He entered and made a beeline for the nearest seat. His body told him to sleep.

“-and I’m proud to say efforts to remove debris has been a success. Between the volunteers and soldiers clean up continues to proceed at a remarkable pace,” Commander Pixis informed the others in the room, curling his mustache with a finger.

Marco surveyed the room, ignoring the low murmurs of side conversations.

At the head of the table Frieda Reiss sat with two attendants. Although she looked presentable, she appeared more gaunt than usual and exhausted like Marco. The three military commanders sat around a table with several members of their divisions. Representing the Survey Corps were Levi, Mike, Eld, and Marco.

Erwin briefly glanced at Marco before clearing his throat, “Now that everyone is here I believe we can get to the matters at hand. Between the Order of the Walls, the prisoners, the new titan shifters, and the Beast titan we have much to discuss.”

“I can speak to the Order of the Walls. Most of Nick’s sympathizers have been rounded up or killed,” Commander Dawk said. “With Section Commander Zoe’s help, those that become titans have either been slain or captured for further study.”

“Good, perhaps she can help find a means to reverse the transformation process,” Commander Pixis commented. He pulled out his flask and took a sip. “What about the prisoners? How have the interrogations gone?”

Nile gave Dot a disapproving stare.

Frieda sighed, resting her arms on the table. “Which ones?”

“Let’s start with the Central Military Police,” Erwin suggested.

“They’ve been… productive. Those that I’ve met have shown me glimpses of plots my father covered up or missions against the people. There’s a stash of technology they stole at their headquarters that might be useful for advancing our own.”

Frieda relaxed in her chair, glowering at a spot on the table.

“They’ve been stifling humanity’s progress?”

Frieda nodded. “Anyone who found ways to potentially leave the walls were silently executed. Even titan research is supposedly among them.”

“I’m sure Hanji will love that,” Mike remarked to himself, the sarcasm lost on those who heard him.

Marco frowned at the thought of the Central Police performing such terrible deeds. Killing valuable lives to ensure humanity remained locked up… Why?

“Captain Ackerman offered to show me where the real important information is.”

The wording of that statement turned a few heads in the room. Levi was the one who spoke up, “Offered? You didn’t just pull it from her head?”

Shaking her head, Frieda gestured to an attendant who left the room. “She- your mother- isn’t Eldian. My family’s gifts can only affect Eldians. I can’t read her.”

“I see,” Levi pressed his lips together, remaining stoic.

“I can speak with her later,” Erwin offered. “Perhaps we’ll come to an understanding.”

“She’s your prisoner, do as you please,” Frieda waved her hand in the air. “Moving onto the more pressing topic, we now have two new titan shifters.”

Marco’s blood ran cold. He hadn’t seen Connie since that fateful day in Mitras earlier that week. On top of that Sasha refused to leave the dungeons and Armin allowed his bitterness to silence himself. Bodt squad was effectively retired after the battle.

“What were you able to pull from them?” Commander Pixis wondered.

“Exactly what they confessed when your soldiers first spoke to them. They attacked Shinganshina seven years ago and opened Wall Maria,” Frieda explained. Her attendant returned with a glass and a bottle of wine. He poured Frieda a glass, which she immediately grabbed.

“So? We execute them for their crimes,” one of Commander Dawk’s captains suggested.

“It’s not that simple,” Frieda shook her head. “Their memories confirmed the existence of a foreign country that wants to invade… invaded the Walls. A country named Marley.”

Marco’s eyes widened, recognizing the name from previous conversations. He muttered under his breath, “Jean was right.”

Erwin glanced his way again but didn’t speak.

“They attacked to get the power of my family. For what purpose I can’t say but they trained these shifters since childhood to infiltrate and take it by any means. They grew up in… camps is the best word I can think of. They were second class citizens and were told we were demons who wanted to end the world. And then they attacked.”

“So this Hitch, Connie, and Eren attacked us to get the power that Ymir has? How did your family even lose this power in the first place?” Commander Dawk questioned.

“If Captain Ackerman is to be believed, my father gave it to the church in order to prevent me or my siblings from becoming a slave to the curse of the first king.”

A few heads turned at the mention of a curse. 

“Excuse me?” Levi spoke for everyone. “Curse?”

Frieda nodded. “Yes. I saw it happen to my uncle before he went missing. He originally wanted to free us from the walls but as soon as he had the power he suddenly claimed it was punishment for our sins. This happened to any member of my family who inherited the Founding Titan’s power. Ymir seems to be unaffected by it though.”

“Alright but why did they help us in Mitras?” Erwin wondered, crossing his arms. “They had ample opportunity to wipe us out and help Zeke.”

Frieda stared intently at her wine, contemplating her next words. “They made a mistake: they lived among us.”

Frieda downed the rest of her wine, beckoning for a refill.

“Pardon?”

“By infiltrating us they realized we weren’t demons. When they understood the damage they caused they swore to never hurt another Eldian and to protect us,” Frieda started, trembling as she recounted the memories. “We’re dealing with a nation that sent _children_ to try and destroy us. I read their thoughts and felt their pain and guilt.”

“Guilt or not, they wiped out over half of our population,” Commander Dawk clenched a fist. “They must pay for their crimes.”

Erwin frowned at the thought. “And lose two titan shifters?”

“Erwin, they destroyed Shinganshina. They cost us Wall Maria and all that land!”

“Reports confirm that the Armored titan and Colossal titan attacked Shinganshina, not a female titan.”

“Yes but Hitch was a part of the Central Military Police. You housed the real monster. How will Connie be punished?” Nile pointed a finger at Erwin.

Erwin’s eyes fell to his hands, pausing to think.

“How do you propose killing him?” Commander Pixis interjected. “Do you plan to kill the Savior of Humanity?”

Nile’s jaw dropped, the comment blindsiding him. “Savior of Humanity? What have you been drinking, Dot?”

Commander Pixis chuckled. “Haven’t you heard? That’s what the citizens of Mitras have been calling him. Killing their heroes at such a fragile time wouldn’t be the best course of action.”

“But-”

“They were ten,” Frieda spoke up, still staring at her glass. “I… I can’t condone their actions but they had their lives taken from them the moment they were born in Marley. For now I left them reliving the moment they truly understood the consequences of their actions.”

“You can do that?” Commander Dawk’s eyes widened at the thought.

“Yes but it’s something I prefer not to do. We’ll discuss what to do with them once we deal with the real problem. Zeke Jaeger wasn’t supposed to come to this island but he’s been here for five years for some unknown reason. And this is the key to that reason.”

Frieda reached into her dress and pulled out a brass key, tossing it onto the table.

Marco stared at it as the oddest sense of déjà vu took over him. When he recognized it, adrenaline shot through his veins. He reacted louder than he thought, “Armin’s key?”

Everyone stared at him, causing him to shrink back into his seat.

“Yes,” Frieda nodded. “I retrieved it from Armin after I read his thoughts.”

Marco’s mouth went dry upon hearing those words. That explained why Historia visited him instead of Armin.

“That key opens the basement of Eren’s Jaeger’s house. It’s something Zeke really wants. We need to find it before him and retrieve it.”

“Eren’s basement?” Marco froze, a bit bewildered by the words.

Frieda nodded, confirming her statement. “Armin had the key to Eren’s basement. Specifically Dr. Jaeger’s workshop. Dr. Jaeger entrusted the key to him shortly before the fall of Wall Maria.”

The room fell silent, the various soldiers pondering the new facts. 

“So,” Erwin spoke, facing the new queen. “We need to go to Shinganshina and get to that basement. I believe I have an idea to solve all our problems.”

Nile scowled at Erwin. “Knowing you we’re not going to like it.”

“Perhaps,” Erwin smirked. “We use the new titan shifters to retake Shinganshina and Wall Maria.”

 _“What?!”_ Nile’s body stiffened, his mouth gaping.

“And how do you plan to do something so ambitious?” Dot Pixis rubbed his chin, trying to wrap his mind around the suggestion.

Erwin stood up, turning to face the window. “I still need to work out the details with my captains but we need to plug the wall. Reiner’s powers have always fallen short of that but perhaps Hitch can. Hanji will need to test her of course but it could be possible.”

“But what about the Colossal Titan? Why him?”

Erwin shrugged. “I believe the citizens of the walls would find it suspicious that we’d do an expedition without their hero. A test of loyalty might help ease your minds. Of course the Survey Corps will take full responsibility if anything goes wrong. I’ll entrust him to Levi squad, in case he tries to escape.”

Several side conversations bubbled up, hushed murmurs discussing the absurd idea. Marco pressed a fist to his mouth as he processed Commander Smith’s plan. Even to his sleep-deprived mind it sounded ludicrous.

To everyone’s surprise, Frieda responded, “Contingent on Hanji’s experiments that may be an option. While we have much more to discuss we’ll retire for the evening. I wish to collect my thoughts more before we deliberate again.”

At that Frieda excused herself from the table. Her two servants followed her out, one still clutching the wine bottle.

The three commanders remained in the room, talking amongst their captains. While Erwin chatted with the other captains, Marco’s eyelids pulled him closer to slumber. It wasn’t until a rough elbow into his side that he woke back up.

“Bodt,” Levi spoke, his cold eyes greeting Marco when he awoke. “What did Erwin say?”

Marco’s cheeks tinted red. “I don’t know sir.”

Levi rolled his eyes while the others shook their heads, smirking at Marco’s embarrassment.

“Get some rest,” Erwin stated. “We have a lot to plan and I need your advice.”

“But-”

“No buts,” Eld shook his head. “Commander’s orders to sleep.”

“But we need Jean,” Marco said, yawning at the end. “He’s been to Shinganshina.”

Levi audibly sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“We’ll speak with him when he’s recovered,” Eld assured him. “Now go catch some shut eye. We put your room by his so you’d use it.”

Suppressing the urge to resist his superiors, Marco bowed his head and took his leave.

Once Marco left the room the Survey Corps captains shook their heads, exchanging a mixture of amused and exasperated looks.

\---

For the first time since being kidnapped, memories raced around Jean’s sleepy mind. Dreams of titans on castles, running in the woods chasing after Reiner, getting pilfered by the Armored titan, and even seeing Marco’s radiant face for the first time after so long. It wasn’t all at once but the stray thoughts crossed Jean’s resting mind from time to time.

It was the gentle nudges of these thoughts that prodded Jean’s eyes, trying to coax them open. His heavy eyelids ignored them the first dozen times but the sting of seeing Rod Reiss grab his head stirred Jean from his deep slumber. He awoke taking rapid, heavy breaths. That was one memory that could’ve remained repressed as far as he was concerned.

Instincts kicked in and Jean surveyed the room. He laid upon a firm mattress, reminiscent of the beds at the Survey Corps headquarters. The room itself also reflected the typical feel of the barracks. Form met function in this room, only the necessary amenities for a soldier. A large wardrobe stood by the door, a mirror on one of its doors. Papers lay scattered across a table, a half melted candle at the center of it. Next to Jean’s bed sat an empty chair. He noticed a platter of half-eaten fruit with a metal pitcher resting on a nightstand by his bed.

The bones in Jean’s arms and neck popped as he pushed himself up in bed. A shiver ran down his spine. His mind tried to recall the previous events but it blanked after going to Trost. 

The brass doorknob turned slowly, squeaking open as someone pushed the heavy door. Marco emerged from behind it staring sullenly at the floor. His eyes remained glued down as he quietly shuffled in. Bags hung under Marco’s eyes, threatening to pull his eyelids into blissful slumber while he clumsily walked towards the bed.

Marco’s glossed over eyes took a passing glance at Jean but didn’t stop to acknowledge him.

That fleeting look ceased any other stray thoughts in Jean’s mind. Memories of the last two weeks came flooding back, washing away Jean’s sleepiness and his composure. Everything that transpired between the kidnapping and the Battle of Mitras replayed in an instant, including the personal moments. His cheeks flushed red as he recalled one particular conversation with Armin.

Jean’s feelings for his best friend were far from gone.

Any hope of Jean’s feelings for his personal nursing assistant tempering were dashed when recollections of Trost and Mitras jolted Jean’s nerves. Jean had chalked it up to Marco’s unabashed kindness and open display of affection as the cause of his childlike crush but now with his faculties returned he knew it was _much_ deeper than that.

Jean’s appreciation came from a much more rooted feeling. Even without completely recognizing his best friend over the course of the past week, Jean’s own instincts kicked in and tried to correct what his mind couldn’t recognize during that time. The countless not-so-subtle once overs of Marco, the awkward silences, and even the stray thought of the freckles on Marco’s ass suddenly made sense. They also brought a wave of embarrassment.

Jean’s face reddened and his head pounded as all his memories and thoughts on Marco surged forward. He rested his head in his hands as he processed the surge of thoughts in his mind. Although he was no stranger to intense emotions as of recent, this was unlike any he felt even in his head.

Marco subjected himself to Freida’s mental prodding so she could rebuild what her father had taken from Jean. During their second battle with the Beast titan Marco risked his life to save Jean. When Jean unexpectedly arrived in this world, Marco was among the first to welcome him with open arms. Most importantly, when Jean faced injury Marco was always by his bedside to help him try and recover. And Jean was willing to wager a year’s worth of pay that Marco sat by him while he rested this time. That’d certainly explain his frazzled appearance.

Jean wanted to groan as he realized he managed to fall for Marco not once, but twice.

Marco settled into a creaky chair by the bed, running a hand through his unkempt hair. He let out an exhausted sigh as he glanced back at Jean. He blinked for a few moments as Jean stared back him, still cradling his head in his hands. Life rushed back into Marco once he registered that Jean was awake.

“Jean!” Marco closed the distance between him and the bed, bringing a comfortable light breeze with him. He got within Jean’s personal space, not caring in the slightest.

“Hello, nurse,” Jean greeted, lowering his hands to his lap.

The tiny smile on Marco’s face fell into a frown. “Oh. Did your memories not come back?”

The disappointment in Marco’s voice felt like an icicle plunged into Jean’s chest. Frowns had no place on Marco’s face.

“It was a joke!” Jean quickly corrected himself, his voice cracking. “I remember you and everyone… mostly.”

The radiant grin that returned to Marco’s face melted any fears lingering in Jean’s body. Marco’s shoulders squared up and he relaxed upon hearing those words. There was no mistake that a heavy burden was lifted off his best friend’s shoulders.

“I’m… I’m so glad. It felt like I lost you again after… after you lost your memories.” Marco’s mellow tone dulled Jean’s joy.

“Sorry... Thank you so much for taking care of me. I hate being a burden on anyone.”

Marco went wide-eyed and furrowed his brows. “You’re _never_ a burden on me, Jean. Especially after you sacrificed everything to save me and Armin. It was the least I could do.”

Jean didn’t miss Marco’s freckles slowly fade under the intensity of a blush. Rather than reply he stared at his best friend, realizing the impasse that he was at. The same silence that dominated their recent conversations returned along with the feelings bubbling inside him. Repressing his feelings only made them worse and amplified his stress when shit hit the fan. All the close calls in Mitras proved that. The whole point of trying to smother his desires was for Marco’s safety and that clearly backfired. The poor kid looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and that was on top of taking care of Jean.

A quiet determination grew in Jean’s heart as he debated with himself. Perhaps the people of this world came to a similar conclusion long ago when they realized they could lose the ones they cherished most at any particular moment. What was the point in fighting something that only grew worse the more he tried to smother it? Jean already made reckless decisions and so did Marco. If Jean already paid for the consequences of loving his friend, then he might as well get what he bought.

“Marco, I gotta tell ya something,” Jean broke the silence, his eyes meeting Marco’s.

“What? You remembered something important?” Marco wondered. 

“More like a realization,” Jean muttered.

Marco narrowed his eyes, trying to anticipate the answer. They stared intently at each other, their expressions slowly softening the longer they waited.

Jean focused his attention to the bed, his hands unclenching the blanket. His bottom lip started quivering as his mind raced along trying to find the words.

Marco’s shoulders fell as he relaxed as much as the situation would allow. When Jean offered no immediate answer, the voice in the back of Marco’s head suggested the worst possible outcomes. Maybe Jean wanted to leave now, still bitter and confused about the events leading up to Mitras. Or did he want to leave the Survey Corps after being pawns in a much larger chess game between the military branches? Maybe he just didn’t want to see any of the people again.

While Marco worried about Jean’s potential departure, his best friend had other problems. Despite the butterflies swarming in his belly, Jean couldn’t break the quiet. Only now he noticed how something else weighed his friend down. Why was Marco still sad now that he recovered?

Both spent their silence analyzing each other, trying to process the other’s thoughts. When one would open their mouth, only strained sounds escaped.

“Do you want to leave?” Marco inquired, his body trembling enough for Jean to take notice. He hunched forward, lacing his hands together.

“What?” Jean blinked twice, puzzled. “Why would I do that?”

Marco’s face darkened as his fear turned to bashfulness. He mentally cursed the voice in the back of his head.

“Because you got your memories back?” Marco’s voice weakened throughout the answer.

“No? I don’t have anywhere to go,” Jean admitted.

“Oh, well…” Marco pressed his lips together, unable to bring himself to face Jean. “What’s on your mind?

“Something I thought I could ignore,” Jean whispered, his eyes falling to Marco’s fidgety hands. “During Mitras I came so close to losing you again. I remember… I remembered Trost. And then I remembered seeing you when I got here. It felt so surreal.”

Memories of Utgard brought a tiny smile to Marco’s face. “Seeing you at Utgard was very unexpected.”

Nodding along, Jean continued, “But I saw you and what could’ve been. My whole time here has been a reminder of what I could’ve had. Fighting titans alongside you, getting saved by you…”

“You saved me a lot. You gave up your memories to save me and Armin,” Marco frowned, sending a pang of guilt through Jean’s heart. “You’ve grown more selfless than I ever imagined.”

“Selfless?” Jean scoffed at the thought. “I did that for me. I can’t lose you again.”

Marco’s trembling ceased. His eyes slowly rose to meet Jean’s, still perplexed. “And here I thought you’d grown a little. What about Armin?”

Jean paused. He raised a hand but gave no immediate reply. Eventually he said, “Well I can’t let my friends die.”

“Oh,” Marco’s eyes fell again. Jean didn’t miss the defeated tone in his brief reply.

“But you’re different-” Jean’s mouth spoke faster than he could think. His face paled as Marco’s eyes immediately met his.

“Different?” Marco’s soft voice was a mixture of confusion and hope.

“I mean obviously not Armin and I’ve lost you before but you’re also my best friend we have a different connection and-” Jean started to ramble as panic raced through him until he shut his mouth. He watched Marco’s expression slowly drop as he ranted. Taking a moment to breathe, he recollected himself. “What I’m trying to say is you’re special Marco. To me.”

Marco’s lips parted, a small gasp escaping him. Of the many looks and faces Marco gave Jean over the last few weeks this was a new one. Daring to hope, Marco extended a shaky hand and placed it on the back of Jean’s.

“…special. Like this?”

A jolt of electricity traveled up Jean’s arm, shocking him from his stupor. He felt his heart beating wildly as his eyes darted between his hand and Marco’s face. While unexpected, it wasn’t an unwelcome gesture. If Marco had opted for Jean’s palm he would've found a hand more akin to Bertholdt’s forehead. The tremors rocking the back of Jean’s hand meant he wasn’t the only nervous one. Jean removed his thumb from Marco’s grasp, momentarily frightening the shaky boy, before firmly placing it on top of Marco’s hand.

“Yeah,” Jean muttered. With a breathy sigh he continued, “You know, when I first got here Armin gave me some advice. Which I promptly ignored.”

While a seemingly small gesture from Jean, it provided enough reassurance to steady Marco’s hand and heart.

Marco pulled himself closer to Jean, grasping Jean’s hand tighter. Leaning in a bit, Marco pressed his lips together as he traced every detail of Jean’s face.

“Of course you would,” Marco giggled.

Jean didn’t know what Marco was looking for but he didn’t recoil from the extra scrutiny. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. Steeling his nerves, Jean placed his other hand over Marco’s to sandwich it between his own.

“He said that second chances rarely came by, and that I shouldn’t waste it. I almost did,” Jean admitted. “I don’t think I should any more.”

Marco’s eyes widened but quickly returned to their previous task of observing Jean. He closed them for a brief moment, exhaling a held breath.

The cool air blew some of Jean’s bed hair aside.

Hesitantly, Marco raised his free hand. His knuckles gingerly pressed against Jean’s cheek, tracing Jean’s sharp jaw. To his astonishment, Jean leaned into Marco’s gentle touch. Jean’s scruff scratched Marco but he didn’t mind.

Instead Marco flipped his hand and cupped Jean’s jaw. With a light but firm tug, Marco pulled Jean’s face forward. He leaned in to meet his best friend halfway, placing a brief but innocent peck on Jean’s lips. Marco leaned back to observe Jean’s reaction.

Jean, to his credit, merely froze in place. He was awake. This wasn’t a dream or some memory conjured up by a member of the Reiss household. He licked his lips, trying to find the aftertaste of a lost friendship. All he found was a pleasant but fading warmth that made him yearn for more. Jean reached for Marco’s chin, preventing him from trying to back further out. He ran the pad of his thumb over Marco’s lips before pulling him back to him.

Rather than go for another kiss, he pressed their foreheads together. While no words were exchanged, they stared into each other’s eyes which proved more intimate than either anticipated. Jean’s pale face reddened under Marco’s beautiful gaze and Marco’s freckles disappeared entirely under his intense blush.

Marco closed his eyes first, leaning in to press their lips together once more.

Jean copied the movements and prepared for another blissful kiss, hoping it’d last longer this time. However he felt a heavy weight collapse onto his shoulder instead. He opened his eyes to see Marco resting in the crook of his neck, his exhaustion finally catching up to him.

“Marco?” Jean asked, trying to coax his best friend awake.

A light groan from Marco brought a bemused smile to his face. Marco’s eyes fluttered a bit, staring at Jean. “Did I just dream that?”

“No, that happened,” Jean shook his head, chuckling at Marco’s current state. “We kissed.”

Marco gave a dopey smile as he pushed himself off Jean’s chest. “Oh, good then.”

Marco tried to scoot back but Jean grabbed his wrist. “Where are you going?”

“That was wonderful but my body needs to rest-,” Marco let out a loud yawn. “I’m ready to crash. I’m sorry.”

Jean shook his head. “Then get in here. You shouldn’t be walking around like that.”

Marco’s eyes widened at the offer. “A-are you sure?”

Jean responded by scooting over and patting the spot next to him. “About as sure as I am about us.”

That sentence startled Marco but he soon grinned widely. He crawled under the covers and rearranged himself next to Jean so they were lying facing each other. His goofy smile softened as his body demanded rest. Before sleep overtook him, he draped an arm over Jean and pulled him as close as possible.

After Marco conked out, Jean tried mimicking his breathing pattern. To his credit he closed his eyes and remained still. However, three days of sleeping left Jean wide awake. Instead of trying to leave and tell everyone he was awake Jean stayed in bed. Lying next to Marco left him feeling content for the first time since arriving in this world. He wasn’t about to ruin that special moment. That was something for either Sasha or Connie to do.

And until that time came, he wanted to savor it and burn it into his memory. Preferably one he didn’t have to share with a Reiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said this would be a slow burn fic and I wasn't kidding. Hopefully it met people's expectations :D
> 
> In regards to the plot, we're hitting the lull between the uprising arc and the Battle of Shinganshina so expect maybe another chapter leading up to that expedition. Next time we'll be seeing how Jean and Marco proceed from here on out, whether in secret or seeing how the others react. Should be fun either way.
> 
> As always, all feedback is appreciated. I'd really like to know what everyone thought of the confession because that took some time to write. If you have any questions or want to directly talk to me I also have my [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com/%22)!


	20. The Armored Titan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean has seemingly recovered his memories in time to interrogate Hitch and Connie. How will Marco and himself process the new information about their friends, especially when the identity of the Armored titan is finally revealed?

While dreamless, Marco’s slumber was deep. When his eyes finally fluttered open he found a pair of warm but intense ones staring right back. The pleasant feelings went out the window with Marco not too far behind.

“What the?!” Marco shouted, clutching the blanket and rolling backwards. Sheets and a pillow fell off the bed along with a very frightened Marco.

Jean remained lying in bed as he processed what just happened. Blinking for a moment, he dared to peek over the edge to check on his best friend. “Marco?”

Inside a twisted pile of sheets and confusion, Marco recognized Jean’s voice. He struggled for a moment until his head popped out of the mess. “Jean?”

The two stared at each other in silence as Marco regained his bearings. Watching the range of emotions pass through Marco’s face filled Jean with trepidation. What began as a confused look gave away to relief before a dark blush hid his freckles.

“Are you alright?” Jean’s quiet voice barely broke the silence.

Marco pressed his lips, staring intently as Jean. “Yeah, just surprised. Are we…?”

Marco’s voice trailed off but Jean understood the question. Even with the last few hours to ponder the question, it still felt surreal. He nodded his head.

“Yes, we are,” Jean answered.

The tiny smile on Marco’s face stirred an unfamiliar happiness in Jean.

The sound of the door slamming open caused both boys to jump back from shock: Marco rolling back into his bundle and Jean almost hitting his head against the wall.

“Is everything alright?” Reiner immediately asked, surveying the room. When he noticed his two scared friends he gave a warm smile. “Jean, you’re awake! How’s your head?”

Jean let out a held breath, soothing his nerves. “Like a titan ran around in it. But I can remember again so that’s something.”

Reiner mustered a giant grin. “That’s great. And great timing too because the higher ups sent me to fetch Marco for another War Room. They’ll definitely want to see you though.”

“War room?” Jean tilted his head.

“Yeah, we’ve been deciding the best course of action after Mitras,” Marco informed him as he slowly pulled himself out of mess he created.

“Yup, but you might want to freshen up first. It smells like the trainee barracks in here,” Reiner advised, waving a hand in front of his nose.

\---

“I see,” Jean spoke. “So I’ve been out for a while.”

“Yeah,” Marco confirmed, slipping his Survey Corps jacket on.

“This is so screwed up,” Jean shook his head. “To think my titan trio would be cleared of wrong doing and everyone else would either be locked up or hurt.”

Jean crossed his arms as he thought about the bitter irony. While he dwelt on it, Marco tapped him on the shoulder. “Let’s meet the others.”

Nodding, Jean followed Marco through the MP headquarters. The building retained the same layout as the Survey Corps headquarters at least. Before he could ponder that some more Jean crashed into Marco, who stopped outside a door. Loud murmuring echoed from behind.

Marco fell a few steps forward, catching himself. He rolled his eyes at Jean, who merely offered an apologetic smile. Shaking his head, Marco knocked on the door once the voices quieted for a moment.

“Come in,” a stern voice beckoned.

The two entered, finding the same officers from the day before sitting around the table. Frieda sat at the head along with two of her attendants. Her bored expression lightened up when she recognized Jean.

“Ah, you’re back,” she smiled.

Marco and Jean shuffled around the Garrison officers and grabbed two empty seats by Erwin and his captains. Erwin, Eld, and Mike acknowledged Jean with tiny smiles. Levi nodded in his direction instead.

“With your help, thanks,” Jean replied.

“How is your memory?” Erwin asked the question on everyone’s mind.

“Back,” Jean answered succinctly. “Parts feel foggy but I at least can tie faces to names.”

“Perfect, that may come in handy just yet.”

“We have more pressing matters first: the prisoners and their fates,” Commander Dok tried to bring the conversation back.

“Have you already forgotten my proposal, Nile?” Erwin reminded his friend with a wry smile.

Nile rubbed his temples at the idea.

“No I haven’t forgotten your crazy plan and my opinion hasn’t changed.”

“Well its contingent on them even agreeing to it. Why don’t we establish that first at least?”

The officers present exchanged confused glances while Nile narrowed his eyes at the Survey Corps commander.

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s watch,” Erwin pointed to the window, turning his chair to observe the courtyard below. The others scrambled around the table to get better looks. Nile’s face paled at the sight.

Five people knelt in the grass, burlap sacks covering their heads. A very excited Hanji Zoe walked around them in a circle, her animated gestures visible from above. It took a moment before she glanced upwards, but when she caught sight of Erwin she gave him a thumbs up. She approached two of the prisoners and removed the itchy coverings. Connie and Hitch immediately flinched from their first contact with sunlight in what seemed like years.

“Erwin Smith!” Nile immediately yelled to his friend. Thankfully the Garrison officers in between them prevented the MP Commander from throttling the SC commander. “Why are they outside? Do you want to die?!”

“Just watch.”

Below, Connie and Hitch recovered from the initial blindness. They remained gagged but they immediately surveyed their surroundings. Hanji waved to them and started talking, though Jean couldn’t read her lips from this far up. Goosebumps formed on his skin when she removed their gags.

“You highness, they’re still reliving that memory, right?”

Frieda shook her head. “No, I released them for this experiment.”

“You knew about this?” Nile’s mouth fell agape, unable to protest.

A tense silence fell over the room as Hanji started circling the pair again. While she walked, she removed the other bags one by one. She slowly revealed a trio Jean never expected: Sasha Braus, Armin Arlert, and Annie Leonhardt. All three remained gagged. Once revealed, Hanji walked away from the group and towards the entrance of the building.

Jean watched with morbid interest at the range of emotions on display below. Hitch shouted at Armin, who steeled his gaze. Connie stared at the ground, unable to meet Sasha’s concerned eyes. Annie was the most ambivalent of all, keeping a calm expression.

“Hanji told them they’re free to escape, if they transform,” Erwin briefly explained. “Doing so would kill those immediately around them though.”

“Including us if the Colossal Titan transforms!” An exasperated Nile complained.

“Connie won’t transform if Sasha is there,” Jean whispered to Marco.

“Why Armin and Annie?” Marco wondered louder than he anticipated.

“Armin killed their comrade and Annie is Hitch’s former squad mate. Let’s see if they choose freedom and to avenge their friend, but at the cost of those close to them,” Erwin reasoned.

Commander Pixis took a flask from his pocket, quickly downing it.

The volume of the conversation below grew louder. The observers could hear voices but not words of the two fighting below. Tears formed on the edge of Connie’s eyes as him and Hitch argued. The dispute went back and forth but Connie never moved. Hitch managed to stand up, walking away from the group but never straying too far. She’d occasionally point a foot at Armin, or towards the others but did not transform. Eventually she collapsed to her knees, crying.

“I think we have our answer,” Erwin smiled. “Shall we ask them?”

“Good, I won’t have to die sober,” Commander Pixis smiled, much to the chagrin of Nile.

The group left the room and went to the courtyard, finding Hanji untying Sasha and Annie. When she saw Jean she gave him a wide smile.

“Jean, you’re alive! I thought I lost a trove of knowledge before we had a chance to experiment more,” Hanji shivered at the thought.

Jean plastered a fake smile on his face, “Yeah, what a shame.”

Sasha ran for Connie, embracing him tightly while Hitch stared at Jean. Through gritted teeth she sobbed.

“Why did you choose to stay?” Erwin asked.

Connie glanced at Sasha, trying to wriggle out of grasp but to no avail.

Hitch eventually calmed down enough to answer. “Where would we go?”

“Not to the dungeon if you succeeded.”

“Not worth the price,” Hitch scoffed, looking at Annie and Sasha.

“No more killing,” Connie frowned.

“What about him?” Erwin glanced at Armin.

Hitch glared at Armin and frowned. “Not even him.”

“Not even to avenge your comrade?”

Hitch bit her bottom lip, blood dripping onto the grass below.

“No, he wouldn’t have wanted that,” Connie shook his head.

“Then perhaps you could enlighten us as to why you came here,” Commander Pixis wondered, twisting the ends of his mustache. “Some of us weren’t privy to your confessions.”

Connie frowned while Hitch stared at the grass, a tense silence settleing over the group. Through gritted teeth, Hitch spoke, “We were sent by Marley to retrieve the Founding titan and the Attack titan if possible.”

“And how did you get here from beyond the walls? There’s nothing but titans out there,” Commander Pixis stated, his cheeks now flushed red.

“We’re on an island. They had to get from the port to the walls before getting eaten,” Jean answered for them. His hairs stood on end when a number of suspicious glances fell on him, mostly from the other officers.

“Exactly. With the three of us we made it easily. Once we got to the gate we needed to get in. The rest you know,” Hitch sighed.

“Not entirely,” Connie shook his head, quickly earning another glare from Hitch. “We only needed samples of the two titans. We also needed to locate-“

“Connie!” Hitch interrupted.

“What? She already read our minds,” Connie rolled his eyes, gesturing to Frieda. “We also needed to locate a missing scientist, Dr. Jaeger. I don’t know why but he was sent a long time before us. Zeke and Pieck came after us when we failed.”

Armin’s eyes widened.

“Jaeger? As in Eren Jaeger?” Erwin quirked an eyebrow. He glanced at Frieda who shrugged. “Were they related? It’s an uncommon name here.”

“Maybe, never confirmed it,” Hitch replied.

“Why would there be a scientist here?”

Shrugging, Hitch continued.

“In Marley the science behind the titans is highly valued. He was a high ranking member who worked on top secret research. He came with Porco years ago but we never saw them.”

“The fuck is a Porco?” Levi joined the conversation, wrinkling his nose at the name.

“Porco was the Beast titan.”

Jean rubbed his chin. “Zeke told me he got the Beast titan from Eren’s dad when I was kidnapped. They’re definitely the same person they were looking for.”

Armin struggled against his bonds, but it didn’t budge.

“So you two and Eren sought his dad, interesting,” Nile stroked his wispy beard, casting a wary glance at the Survey Corps members.

“How many times do I need to tell you? Eren didn’t come with us!” Hitch exclaimed.

“And we can confirm Eren was born in Shinganshina,” Erwin confirmed.

“How? Shinganshina hasn’t been accessible in years. And that boy doesn’t count since he has the key to Dr. Jaeger’s basement,” Nile crossed his arms over his chest, pointing at Armin.

“Former Survey Corps Commander Keith Shadis,” Hanji stepped forward, bearing a somber look. “I spoke with him. He was a friend of the Jaegers. He brought Dr. Jaeger into the walls after finding him during an expedition outside the walls and he can confirm that Eren was born here.”

Hanji strolled over to Armin, finally pulling the gag out of his mouth. He coughed at the influx of fresh air, internally thankful.

“Then how did he acquire the Armored titan’s powers?”

“He ate the previous person,” Armin finally spoke.

“If a titan eats a titan shifter it will gain their powers,” Frieda clarified, pushing away the memories of the painfully familiar process.

“Armin?” Connie hesitantly called out to Armin, flinching upon meeting his friend’s icy gaze. “There’s something I never figured out. How did Eren actually get those powers? I know where and when, but never how.”

Armin’s expression softened. He pressed his lips together. “Jean was right, Eren couldn’t protect everyone.”

Marco’s eyes widened, while everyone looked to Jean for a moment.

“Huh?” Jean tilted his head.

“At Trost, before we set out. It was something Jean – our Jean- told him. Of course he was right. Marco knows what I’m talking about,” Armin shook his head, frowning. Recalling the tragic battle, his shoulders slumped. “Right out the gate our squad was decimated. After we saw Franz get swallowed whole, Eren charged forward. He immediately lost his leg to a hidden titan. I was the last survivor when a titan tried to eat me. Eren somehow managed to pull me out on time at the cost of his arm while Jean slayed the titan. With him bleeding out I had to use the syringe. I just didn’t expect what would happen.”

A chill went down Jean’s spine at the mention of his name. He never assisted Eren or Armin during their battle at Trost, let alone slayed a titan right away. 

Upon hearing the new detail, Erwin quirked an eyebrow.

“What syringe?” Erwin asked, stepping forward.

“The one Dr. Jaeger gave me after Shinganshina. He entrusted a case with a syringe and the key to their basement to me after he left,” Armin took a deep breath. “He let me read the books in his basement while he did experiments down there when I was younger. I assumed he was making cures for diseases, not researching titans. I learned so much about the outside world from him…”

Frieda idly brushed a loose strand of hair away from her face before speaking again, “We used something similar in my family when passing the power down between generations. A person injected with it becomes a mindless titan unless they eat a shifter.”

“Then how did you know when to use it?” Erwin pushed for more information.

“I didn’t. He told me not to use it,” Armin pulled at his bindings, chewing on his bottom lip. “Seeing Eren dying in front of me- I had to. I thought maybe it was a cure… I’d lost everyone else and I couldn’t lose him!”

Hitch’s jaw fell open, momentarily dumbfounded. Clenching her fists, she shouted. “Are you fucking kidding me? You got lucky! He died because you got _lucky_?!”

“Yes,” Armin confirmed.

“That begs the question: who did Eren eat?” Hanji inquired, leaning down by Armin. “The reports never said.”

Armin stared at the section commander, pressing his lips into a thin line. When he didn’t give an answer Hanji turned towards Connie. To the surprise of everyone it was Hitch who spoke.

“Wait, you mean you never told them?” Hitch narrowed her eyes at Armin. “Connie I get but you blondie? After Eren was exposed you had nothing to lose. Hell it might’ve saved your ass at the time. Why did you keep quiet?”

“Like they would’ve believed me,” Armin retorted, his body trembling.

Marco crossed his arms, observing Armin carefully. The bright and bold boy he called his closest friend now shook like a leaf in the breeze, just one strong gust away from letting go. Something ate at him.

“No, that’s not it,” Marco said. “You were afraid to tell. You’re still afraid.”

Armin’s eyes fell to the ground at Marco’s feet, refusing to meet his concerned gaze.

“Close,” Frieda interjected. “He’s ashamed.”

“Shame? What’s he ashamed of?” Hanji questioned.

“Betraying his closest friends.”

Jean tried to meet Armin’s gloomy gaze but his friend refused to look at anything but the dying grass. Armin shrank under everyone’s intense scrutiny. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw Armin behave like this, either his or this version of him.

“Armin, he deserves to know. They both do,” Connie prodded Armin, flinching when Armin snapped an angry glare at him.

With a loud sniffle, Armin spoke again.

“I turned Eren into a titan… The transformation blew me back but I saw him grab the nearest person… and took a bite…” Armin’s voice trailed off, leaving everyone confused.

Marco pondered the cryptic conversation as he thought about Trost. A list of possible reasons Armin would be ashamed ran through Marco’s mind, but none of ideas struck him immediately. As Armin’s best friend outside Eren and Mikasa it frustrated Marco that he couldn’t explain his behavior. Armin’s erratic emotions suggested someone they mutually knew, and Connie’s age insinuated someone they knew from the 104th cadets. The names of the fallen went through Marco’s mind, people remembered in their weakest moments. Due to his bookish nature Armin avoided most people, except those that poked and prodded Eren or Mikasa. Most of the dead left that group alone. All except for one.

“You don’t mean…” Marco forced himself to ask, his mouth drying. Goosebumps creeped up his arms as the forbidden thought chilled Marco to his core. There was no way Armin was responsible for _his_ death. Right?

Armin dared to meet Marco’s frightened eyes, silent tears streaming down his pale cheeks. That reaction confirmed Marco’s worst fears before Armin’s lips moved.

“Yes.”

Hearing the answer to a question he simultaneously wanted to remain buried yet known jolted Marco’s nerves. Marco desperately wanted to maintain his composure. To steady his trembling frame, Marco pressed a jittery hand to his mouth. He paled as he processed the new information. Following his stomach, Marco sank. He fell to his knees as a frail voice escaped him, “No. Not you…” 

“I’m so sorry Marco,” Armin apologized, pressing his head against the ground. “It was an accident.”

As a kneejerk reaction, Jean knelt down to try and comfort Marco, but he shrank away from him. Seeing Marco in such a fragile state left Jean confused and concerned. What did he miss?

“Marco?” Jean whispered.

Erwin watched with sharp eyes as Marco seemingly ceased to function.

“I see,” Erwin shook his head. “The 104th is quite the interesting group.”

“Care to elaborate, Erwin?” Commander Pixis requested. “We aren’t all up to date on the internal affairs of the Survey Corps.”

“Of course,” Erwin rubbed his chin, thinking of the best way to phrase it. “Based off their reactions, I’m guessing Jean Kirschtein was the former Armored Titan.”

With the exceptions of Frieda, Armin, Connie, Hitch, and Marco, all eyes fell onto a very stunned Jean. His face whitened at the accusation, the world suddenly slowing to a halt around him. His senses sharpened and he reflexively caught a pair of hands that reached out for him. While shell-shocked, he mustered a glare at the two MP officers that attempted to grab him.

“What are you doing?” Hanji asked, quickly running over to Jean’s side.

“Forgive us for not believing this other world story but if he was the Armored Titan then he’s a threat,” one of the two officers answered. Another one ran around Jean and pushed him to his knees before Hanji grabbed him.

“Let go of him,” Levi ordered, stepping closer. His piercing gaze unnerved the squabbling officers. “He’s no titan, in case you missed all of Mitras.”

“But he could be a spy, or maybe he’s another Armored titan.”

“There’s only the one,” Hanji informed the two, releasing the collar of an MP officer. “Right?”

“It’s impossible to pass on powers without dying,” Frieda stated. “Besides, you can’t fake his memories. Trust me.”

“It’s more believable that he found a way to pass his abilities than this other world story,” Nile admitted. “But you heard her majesty. Leave him alone.”

Begrudgingly, the soldiers stepped away from him. An invisible bubble surrounded Jean as no one dared to approach him, except Hanji. To his annoyance his superior office had no qualms about personal space.

Jean stared at his hand, reconciling the new fact in his head. While the thought of being a titan in this world had huge ramifications, the idea that someone he trusted killed him meant something equally disturbing in his world. His Marco likely died because someone close to him betrayed him. Sure, that was a fear of his when Armin told him that Annie had stolen Marco’s 3DMG. Jean wanted to believe she pilfered it off his dead body, believing even she wasn’t cold enough to murder him. Too bad she crystalized herself before he could ask.

Clenching his fist Jean punched the ground.

“Annie you crystalized son of a bitch,” Jean cursed loud enough to earn a puzzled look from Annie.

Jean took deep breaths to calm himself.

While Jean processed the news with anger, Marco remained frozen with shock. He refused to look at anyone.

“I’m so sorry, Marco,” Armin pleaded. “Jean-”

Marco’s eyes snapped to Armin’s, the bitter stare silencing him. “Don’t say his name. Please… don’t.”

“I didn’t mean to kill him.”

Armin’s shoulders slumped further.

Marco slowly shook his head, his movements suddenly rigid and pained. He placed a hand against his forehead, replying in a numb tone. “I believe you.”

Armin’s eyes popped open, caught off-guard by the statement. His shock got the best of him.

“What?”

“I believe it was an accident,” Marco reiterated as he rose back up, dusting off his knees. He walked over to Armin, placing his hands on Armin’s shoulders. He pressed down and pushed Armin onto his back. He steadily brought his hands to Armin’s neck. “I get it. The boy you loved was dying and you did what you could to save him, even someone as smart as you couldn’t predict what would happen.”

Marco’s hands wrapped around Armin’s neck, silent tears streaming down his cheeks.

Armin blinked through the tears that splattered onto his face. “I know but-”

Marco tightened his grip around Armin’s neck as some of the other soldiers slowly approached him.

“But I hate myself so much right now,” Marco replied, stunning Armin. He threw Armin back down and wiped his tears on his jacket sleeve. “Why can’t I bring myself to hate you for it? Why can’t I bring myself to avenge him?!”

The others back off as Marco clenched his fists.

“Because that’s not you,” Jean answered for him, finally getting Marco to look at him. Marco’s face was a mess of emotions, the sight breaking Jean’s heart. Jean softened his serious expression, trying to comfort Marco, “And because you know that’s what I wouldn’t want.”

“Why? He took you away from me!” Marco allowed himself to give back into his anger.

“You know why,” Jean offered a bitter smile. “That’s why you’re you. You’re able to understand what happened and process it better than any of us. Unlike me who currently wants to kill Annie.”

From across the grass Annie offered a dull stare, quipping, “Go ahead and try pony boy.”

“Not you,” Jean snapped back.

Silence fell over everyone while Annie and Jean stared intently at each other. Thankfully Erwin brought all of that to an end with a question.

“Connie and Hitch, I’ll ask this once. Will you pledge yourselves to us and assist in recapturing Shinganshina?”

All of the bound soldiers went wide-eyed. Armin’s jaw dropped, the thought of retaking his home twisting his stomach. Connie and Hitch exchanged nervous glances.

“You want us to help you?” Connie answered with another question. Erwin nodded once. Hitch didn’t have a chance to answer before Connie sprung to his feet. “Of course, sir!

“And you?”

Hitch’s eyes fell. They bounced back up when Connie nudged her with his feet.

“It’s our chance for redemption. Come on.”

“Redemption?” Hitch scoffed at the very thought. “You can’t redeem what we did.”

Frieda stepped forward, offering some advice, “Perhaps, but you can still work to undo the damage you caused. What you did was truly horrific but you both also worked to preserve what was left of us Eldians. Continue your duty as soldiers.”

Shaking her head, Hitch offered a tiny smirk, “Yes, my queen.”

Erwin smiled, glancing towards Hanji. “You may release them. Please begin whatever experiments you need as soon as possible. I’m curious if your hypotheses will bear fruit.”

Hanji’s mouth watered at the order, the thought of titan scientific progress bringing her unbound happiness, “Yes, sir!”

Connie and Hitch exchanged nervous glances.

Jean kept his focus on Marco as he drowned out the surrounding conversation by the officers. He watched Marco do the same, as he quietly excused himself from everyone. When he was out of earshot, Marco bolted from the compound. Unwilling to let him go, Jean made chase while the others discussed plans.

Through teary eyes Armin watched the pair leave. An officer walked behind him, cutting the ropes binding his hands together.

“Rise, Armin,” the officer commanded.

Doing as told, he stood up despite his wobbly legs. A firm clasp on his shoulder almost sent Armin back to the ground. Armin looked over his shoulder to see a smiling Erwin.

“Thank you for your participation in this experiment. Please get some food and rest. You’re free to return back to your private quarters,” Erwin informed him.

Nodding along, Armin silently walked away from the group. He only made it a few steps before several Military Police officers surrounded him. Panic began to flood his veins until they all smiled at him.

“Good work today and during Trost. You slayed the Armored Titan, you’re a real hero,” they complimented him.

“Thanks,” Armin offered a tiny smile. The men retuned the gesture and got out of his way, allowing him to retreat back to Military Police headquarters.

Armin made a beeline for the mess hall, grabbing a tray of food and a pitcher of water. No one questioned him as he took everything out of the dining area and towards the stairwell. He was hardly the first soldier to take food to his private quarters. Rather than ascend the stairs to his room, Armin instead went to the underground. With all the prisoners outside no one guarded the dungeon.

Walking along the musty hallway, Armin turned a corner and found a cell: the place he’d been kept for the last few days. Until they determined his role in Trost he was held like the other titan shifters but away from them. He set the tray down on the only desk afforded in this dungeon. Taking a seat in the rickety wooden chair, Armin grabbed and bit into a stale piece of bread.

As he chewed through the tough food, he replayed the last line in his head over again. What should’ve been a compliment only stung him. He swallowed his food with a loud gulp.

“A real hero,” Armin pondered the way the phrase rolled off his tongue. He repeated it over and over, slowly growing more and more sarcastic and venomous. “A real hero... a real hero… a real hero… a real hero? What does that even mean?”

Feeling the self-loathing rise in him once more, Armin dropped the bread and slammed a fist on the desk. The tray and food clattered while the pitcher spilled some water.

“Someone who saves lives? Someone who seeks justice? If that’s what being a hero is I guess I’ve done it,” Armin callously laughed at himself. “What a pitiful hero.”

Running a hand through his long hair, Armin shook his head. He stood up, walked to the entrance of his cell, and closed the door. It clanged shut, locking him in. His thoughts and emotions drove him to pace in circles.

“I saved Eren’s life and killed the Armored Titan. I saved my best friend and avenged my family and friends. I should be ecstatic,” Armin spoke to himself, stopping to stare at a mirror above his sink. “But I turned Eren into the very thing he hated, and I killed Jean to do it. How many nights did Eren wake up screaming to nightmares of Shinganshina? He had someone else’s memories in his head driving him crazy. Even knowing Jean was an asshole didn’t make it easy, but Marco? I killed a part of him in Trost that day. I honestly don’t know which I regret more.”

Approaching the mirror, Armin grasped it with his hands. His body started to tremble and he needed to steady himself on something. Doing something he feared, he looked into the mirror and stared into his own sullen eyes.

“But then Jean goes and comes back from the dead, proves he’s grown into an incredible soldier, and flips this world upside down. Seeing what he’s become… did I make a mistake saving Eren?” Armin felt a brief spurt of anger pulse through him, causing him to punch the mirror, shattering it. As pieces of it fell into the sink, blood started pouring out of his knuckles. Quickly, he turned on the sink and ran water through his hands to keep the blood at bay. Cloudy, red water poured over the broken shards. “Of course not! I couldn’t let him die…”

Armin closed his eyes.

“Who am I kidding? I didn’t save Eren, I cursed him and now he knows it. And he hates me for it. Mikasa? She probably knows and agrees with him. They left and I chose to stay so they could return and be safe if I could clear their names. It was the only thing I could do after what I did to Eren.”

Armin faced forward, staring back at the cracked mirror. A few shard still clung on, showing half of his face and the tears streaking down it.

“Like they’d every take me back after all the pain and hardship I put them through.”

Pain briefly brought Armin out of his thoughts, the cool water providing a pleasant chill in his knuckles. He let out a deep breath as dark thoughts took ahold of him once more.

“Now Marco knows along with Jean. Twice I’ve devastated Marco and twice Jean saved me… but I don’t think I can come back from this one,” Armin sighed. His stomach sank at the thought of losing his other best friends. “And Jean? After all the shit he’s gone through to protect me…”

Glancing at the sink below, Armin surveyed the broken shards below. He picked up the largest of the pieces and observed it in his uninjured hand.

“I’ve successfully managed to destroy my closest friendships with one desperate action, so that’s something,” Armin trembled as he slowly closed his hand around the broken mirror piece. Sharp glass pressed into his soft skin, piercing it. Warm blood trickled over the glass and through Armin’s fingers. He clutched it close. With a melancholic expression, Armin judged himself harshly.

“Here stands a true hero,” Armin announced, his bitter tone stinging his ego. He steeled himself as he grasped his long hair with his other bloodied hand. “If this is the price of being a true hero then I don’t want to be one anymore.”

\---

Despite Marco’s sour mood, he managed to navigate the ruined capital with ease and agility. He dodged crowds and rubble with the skill of a soldier but with the grace of a titan, almost stumbling into other groups or scattered objects. Eventually he found a partially collapsed building on the outskirts of town to duck into. Finding half-fallen wall he related to, Marco leaned against it as his emotions started to grip him again. Tears tugged at the edges of his eyes once more.

Chasing after Marco was a chore. His friend proved more nimble than Jean anticipated, losing track of him when he reached a deserted part of the city. Jean ran around in circles trying to find where Marco hid. It took some loud sobbing to lead him towards his goal.

Marco almost jumped out of his skin when he heard footsteps approaching, quickly trying to silence himself. He almost lost his composure when he spotted Jean sticking his head into the ruined building. , Surprised that Jean managed to trail him, he greeted him with a loud sniffle, “You followed me?”

“Of course,” Jean rolled his eyes, entering the husk of a home. “What kind of friend would I be if I left you alone right now?”

“A good one,” Marco posited.

Jean shrugged, casually strolling over to Marco.

“That’s why I’m a terrible one.”

Marco snorted, sniffling once more. He allowed his emotions to pull him to the ground, sliding onto the dusty floor.

“You’re not a terrible friend. That’s Armin right now. He killed you.”

Jean’s playful smirk fell into a deep frown.

“Technically Eren killed me,” Jean corrected, twisting his face from discomfort. “Man, that’s weird to say.”

“Yes, but he caused it,” Marco said. “Armin killed you.”

Watching his steps, Jean closed the distance between himself and Marco. “Are you trying to remind me or convince yourself?”

Marco closed his mouth tightly, unable to provide an immediate answer. A pained look crossed his face, a sign of the internal struggle he couldn’t resolve.

“You know, it’s not the fact he killed you that makes me sad,” Marco replied. He clenched his hand into a fist, slamming it into the ground. He left an imprint in the debris. “It’s the fact that he never told me, even after we knew Eren was the Armored Titan. That’s what I’m angry about. I can’t hate him for killing you and I hate myself for it!”

As tears continued to stain Marco’s cheeks, Jean knelt down and wiped them away with the pad of his thumb.

“How are you able to forgive him?” Jean wondered, taking a seat by Marco’s side.

Marco shook his head. “I don’t forgive him, but I understand. I understand wanting to do everything you can to save someone you love. If I were in his position I would’ve done the same thing.”

Shaking his head, Jean leaned his head against the rough wall.

“Even in the shittiest situation you still manage to find empathy. You’re too good for this world.”

“No, you were. That’s why you died,” Marco disagreed, a loud sob wracking his body. “You died trying to save them. And in the end you did.”

Jean internalized the bitter irony of that statement, astonished by Marco’s interpretation of the situation. Jean saw himself as many things: skilled, smart, down to earth, cocky, and perhaps sometimes cowardly. Good was never an attribute he gave himself.

Reaching for Marco’s hand, Jean squeezed it for support. Marco gladly returned the gesture. A light blush crept onto Jean’s cheeks, giving his pale face some color.

“I wish you could see yourself the way you see me,” Jean shook his head. “Don’t hate yourself for being unable to blame him. Your Jean wouldn’t want that. Trust me. I’m me.”

Marco swallowed the lump in his throat, meeting Jean’s caring gaze. “And how’s that?”

Jean pulled Marco’s hand away from the dusty wooden floor and onto his lap, clasping it. He held it close to his chest as he tried to form a coherent sentence in his head.

“Strong, compassionate, brave, smart,” Jean began to list until Marco’s warm eyes looked into his. The eyes that often silenced Jean short-circuited his brain. “…freckled.”

Marco’s face switched from sorrow to confused, his features loosening. “What? But- but I can’t bring myself to blame him, how’s that smart? And I’m so weak that I loathe myself for it.”

“I mean- ugh. Let me try that again,” Jean cleared his throat, grasping Marco’s cold hand tightly. “You’re strong enough to stand by your convictions, even when the world kicks you down. That doesn’t make you weak or stupid. It means you’re wise enough to recognize what truly happened. That’s what I love about you.”

Marco flushed a deep scarlet upon hearing those words.

When Jean realized the gravity of the word he said, his fight or flight instincts kicked in. In this case, he felt like a chicken. He quickly let go of Marco’s hand to try and leave, but a firm grip held him down. Marco successfully grabbed his forearm before he could dash away.

“Th-thank you for those words,” Marco offered a tight lipped smile. With a strong but gentle pull Jean fell back to his side, closer than before. Remembering he could finally indulge himself, he leaned his head against Jean’s bony shoulder. “I needed to hear that.”

Jean stiffened from Marco’s sudden closeness, his stomach twisting into knots. Despite initiating contact he was fully unprepared and in unknown territory. With time he slowly loosened up.

“So… I’m the Armored titan here,” Jean spoke, recalling the other consequence of Armin’s confession. “That’s a surprise.”

Marco melted further into Jean’s shoulder, letting out a deep breath. “Want to know another weird thing?”

“What’s that?”

Jean rested his head against the wall, tapping it gently. Some loose dust floated down onto his head.

“Even knowing that, I still love him. I’d forgive that fact and still want to protect him,” Marco admitted, curling into Jean’s side.

Acting as casual as possible, Jean slipped an arm around Marco’s shoulders to pull him in closer.

“I don’t think that’s weird. I mean look at Sasha, she’s doing that very thing right now,” Jean pointed out. “You’re Jean was very lucky to have someone like you to call a friend.”

“The same could be said for your Marco,” Marco whispered, completely relaxed. “May they watch over us and rest easy.”

While a stray tear or two escaped Marco’s eyes, he let them fall. Trost stole his best friend, nothing would change that. He would always mourn that loss but through the sheer impossibility of it all, Jean still managed to find his way back to him. While he wouldn’t forget the fallen and ponder what could’ve been, Marco learned to finally accept and treasure the present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been a little while since I got around to this update. Since last time I've been on several trips including a convention where I cosplayed post-time skip Jean. I'm going to try and improve the costume for Dragoncon in a month so I might lose more time to that so that'll be fun.
> 
> In other news, how many people suspected Jean was the Armored titan in this world? Kudos to you bunch. Next time we get to see the calm before the storm that will be the return to Shinganshina so that'll be good to look forward to. We'll also see what becomes of Armin, the poor kid. Hopefully that scene wasn't too dark for some people but he's in a bad place right now. 
> 
> As always let me know what you think, I love the feedback! I read every comment.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a shower thought that developed into a hell of an itch to write. I'm very curious if people like the premise of this story and want to see more of it, so please tell me your thoughts. There are more than a few things different from canon that I have yet to share, but know that Jean dying in Trost is just the tip of the iceburg.
> 
> This is the first things I've written in months courtesy of work and appendicitis so sorry those who follow me. I'm alive now, I swear.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, reblogs, likes, and messages on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.com) are appreciated and treasured!


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